I groaned as I ran a finger down the scratch. Someone scratched up my car. Now it sticks out since I've noticed it. The shiny red with a deep scratch on the driver's door.

"Perfect." I mumbled as I locked it. No note, no apology from who did it. Why are people so rude? I don't care it happened, but an apology would have been nice.

I walked to the building, my heels clicking on the cement as I rushed to work. I had an epiphany last night about one of my letters and it got me thinking.

I noticed the male clientele and decided to do a whole page to them. I hit the elevator button as I waited.

Most males that write, I noticed are about love. It was rare to find one about friendships or children/parental advice with the males. That struck me as weird because I would assume that they would be reading their girlfriends or wife's magazines. Not single blokes asking on how to ask a girl out, how to woo her or even get their ex back.

The elevator doors open as I stepped in and grabbed my hair, quickly pulling it in to a plait and tying it off.

The doors opened again and I stepped off, memorising another line that I thought of earlier for one of the letters. Something about trying to give a teenage daughter some space...

I bypassed the coffee station, a one track mind and tunnel vision happening as I went straight to the computer and typed immediately.

I couldn't exactly remember the full letter, but I had a very decent paragraph for it. Once I had typed up what I wanted, I took my bag off and went to the coffee station, making my drink.

I felt quite proud of myself, with that response, but the trick now was to find the original letter. I read it yesterday and it stayed in my head.

"Rhea!"

I turned to see Jan coming to me.

"How's your son?" She asked. I liked that about my boss, she knows parents have children for responsibilities as well.

"He is good. Just too much time in the sun, not enough water." I smiled.

"Since we are expanding our magazine, I thought we would get a bit personal and have a snippet of each person that works here."

I felt the blood drain from my face.

"Giving the magazine a whole new look. Fresh, intimate, personal."

I sighed. "Jan, why do you think my pen name is R? Because I don't want people knowing it's me outside of here."

Jan gave me a stern look.

"How many people in your lifetime have you come across named Rhea?" I asked her.

Jan brushed me off. "Then make up a name starting with R."

"Fine."

Jan smiled. "Great. I'll get a photographer in to take a snap."

I stepped to her. "Wait. A photo too?"

Jan pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "I guess you don't agree with that either?"

"Ah, can I get back to you on that?" I grimaced. "Besides, the longer I stand here and chat, the less work I get done." I grinned before stepping away from her. I quickly rushed to my office with my coffee.

I don't want the whole city, the state, even the continent know I'm Rhea. I'm happy with my very small group of friends and acquaintances. I'm happy with my readers knowing me as R.

I sighed as I stared at the computer screen. I need to find that letter. I rummaged through the open envelopes of the letters, rereading each one.

"Found it." I whispered to myself as I turned to the computer. The dilemma of the photo still on my head.

Flashback

"Just smile." Rhea laughed at Ryder.

"I am." He said between gritted teeth.

"No, you're not. You're grimacing." She teased him before poking her tongue out at him. "How can I take a photo of the two of us if you won't smile?"

"I don't like photos." Ryder complained to Rhea.

Rhea put the phone down and wrapped her arms around him. "I need proof." She whispered to him.

"Proof of what?"

"Proof that this isn't a dream." Came her smile.

Ryder kissed her gently on the lips. "It's not a dream." His hands slid down to her waist, teasingly, as he went lower.

"Come on, Ryder. It's our honeymoon. One photo. Besides you have your picture taken all the time."

"But I don't need to smile in them." He growled as he nuzzled her neck. Rhea let out a small shriek as she wrapped a leg around him.

"Well, I'm sorry for wanting a picture of us." Rhea pouted.

Ryder lifted his head and looked deep in to his wife's eyes. "We got wedding portraits done."

"But I want a real photo. You and me, being us." Rhea whispered as she watched her finger trace down his chest.

Ryder snatched her hand away, raising it to his lips. "Fine." He growled at her. Rhea smiled widely.

****

Now

I snapped my head from computer screen to my desk, looking at my notes. I took the pen out off my mouth and scratched out a word and placed it back as I picked up my thesaurus.

I couldn't find the right word. Ah.

Irascible.

I quickly jotted that down and placed the pen between my teeth. I pushed my glasses back up my nose and brushed some loose hair to behind my right ear.

I heard a tap on the door and I didn't bother tearing my eyes away from the screen. I couldn't see from my left peripheral vision due to more loose hair.

It's been two weeks since Jan's magazine makeover and I had managed to get away without a photo. But the letters have been pouring in, tripled than usual and I was hitting a personal best of five letters a day, with me working my butt off and even working through lunch some days.

I heard the knock against my open door again. Frowning, I called out. "Just a minute. If that's you Jan, I'm nearly done." I typed away, finishing the paragraph and saving the document.

I bit down tighter on the pen as I turned my chair to face the door.

My eyes widened as I heard the crunch of the pen between my teeth.

Oh crap.

"Afternoon Rhea." Came his cocky tone.

I blinked several times, trying to see if he was really there. Unfortunately, he was.

"Ryder." I whispered out.

Ryder smirked as he leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed and tilted head.

"What are you doing here?" I managed out. I stayed perfectly still in my seat, my eyes watching him, the pen from my mouth gone.

"Hello to you too." He said as he came in and closed the door before taking a seat.

"I didn't say you can come in."

Ryder looked around the small office. "So this is where you work?"

Why is he here? "Yes. People have to work for a living. Not just sit back and do nothing, watching the bank account grow." I snapped at him. "You can leave now."

"But I want to talk." Ryder's face was in a serious frown, the same expression I use to see him in.

"I don't want to talk. I have work to do." I told him as I pulled my chair out. "You can go now."

Ryder stayed in his seat, smiling at me. "I'm not going any where."

I groaned. "Of course not. What are you doing here?"

"Let's just say, I was given some advice and I'm taking it."

I arched an eyebrow. "That's not like you." I snorted a laugh. "You listen to people and believe what they say before questioning the other party."

I saw how Ryder slightly flinched at that remark. It hurt him. Good.

"I have a meeting to go to. So you either leave now by your own free will or I will call security." I grated out as I snatched up my bag.

I tried to walk past him, but Ryder shot up from his chair and took my wrist.

I gasped as my feelings of hate and hurt dissipated and I felt a strange sensation of relief and sadness at the same time.

Snatching my wrist put off Ryder's grip, I glared at him. "Don't touch me." I snarled then left my office, running to the elevator.

****

"Go brush your teeth." I told Rowan as I did up the last button on his pyjamas.

I followed Rowan to the bathroom and he took his toothbrush as I put a little bit of paste on it.

I did the same for myself and I sat on the closed toilet scrubbing my teeth watching Rowan mimic my actions.

I smiled at him.

"Done." He sung out before racing to his room.

I rinsed my mouth out and went to his bedroom.

Rowan was already in bed as I tucked him in. "Goodnight, baby. I love you." I said as I kissed his forehead.

"Night momma. Love you." He replied as he hugged me.

I turned his lamp on and the main light off before closing his bedroom door. Tonight is a rare night, Rowan didn't argue with me at all, to which I was grateful for because I wasn't in the mood and I was trying my hardest not to let my frustration out on him.

I headed to the kitchen to finish off the dishes and poured myself a wine. The kitchen bench was covered in my work and I desperately needed more than just one of me right now.

After finally scrubbing the tough cheese stain on my small casserole dish, I placed my glasses on and sat down with my wine reading the letters. I would love to answer them all, but there isn't enough time or paper space for that.

I read a letter before grabbing a notepad and pen and started scribbling.

Dear Confused 19 Y/O

I know it's a tough transition, but one that will make you stronger. Instead of moping around, crying over your heartbreak all day, allow yourself a small window to do that, then keep yourself busy. Concentrate on your career, take up a hobby, go meet new people.

I jumped out off my skin when I heard a knock on my door. I'm so jumpy since earlier today and after my second glass of wine.

"Who would that be?" I asked myself as I got up, scrapping the stool against the tiled floor.

I made my way to the door while putting my glasses on top of my head than twisting my hair and applying a claw clip.

I turned the outside porch light on to help see through the glass of my door, but the glass was frosted and it was hard to tell who or what was on the other side.

Thankfully I had a small chain on my door and left it on as I opened the door a crack.

Before I could say yes or who is it, I quickly slammed the door shut.

"Rhea. Open the door."

"Go away, Ryder." I groaned out, shaking my head with closed eyes.

"We need to talk. Open the door." Ryder called out.

"Like I said earlier, Ryder, go away." I knew I couldn't hide forever, but why tonight? Why can't it be a night where I don't have Rowan here? In fifteen years or so, when his friends become more important than his mother.

"I won't be going any where till we talk."

I scrunched my face up. "I'm not doing this tonight, Ryder. I have too much work I need to get done."

"At eleven at night?" I could basically see the cocky smirk. The one that pitched an eyebrow high in to his forehead.

"I'm too tired to talk."

"But you just said you need to do your work."

I growled as I opened the door again, leaving the chain on.

"Make it quick." I snapped.

"It's been nearly four years, Rhea." Ryder said as he stood on the other side of the door.

"Still not long enough." I lowered my voice. The last thing I want is for Rowan to wake up.

"Okay, I get it. You're still hurt."

"Maybe, but I'm pissed off."

Ryder's eyes went to the visible chain. "Why don't you let me in?"

I stood there silently, glaring at him.

Ryder's eyes narrowed. "Is there someone else inside?"

I raised my eyebrows. "No."

"Is there another man here, Rhea?" I could hear the seriousness in his tone. He thinks I have a man over.

I can work with that. "Even if there is, that's none of your business." I snapped at him. "You're my ex husband. What I have done since we have been divorced is none of your business."

Ryder glared at me as I watched his jaw clench.

"You need to go."

"You want me to go." Ryder corrected me. Need, want, it's the same thing right now.

"Yes." I sighed. "I have nothing to say to you. I know you won't listen. You didn't last time. Now leave before I call the police and tell them I have a prowler or a burglar trying to break in." I slammed the door in his face and locked it, turning the porch light off.

I stood there for a second longer before shaking my head and heading back to my make shift workspace to clean it up.

I heard a small noise as I looked up. "Rowan, baby, what are you doing up?" I went to him and scooped my son in to my arms.

"I can't sleep." He answered as he cuddled in to me.

"Come on, let's go to bed."