Focus.

The feeling that centers everything. Makes the non-important stuff disappear and the things you need stand out in bold. It slows time, creating an area with infinite possibilities.

It would be great if I could just fucking achieve it right now.

My elbows rest against my knees, my face resting in my clasped hands. After another night of nearly no sleep, my dreams plagued Skylar, I'm beyond tired today.

My teammates surround me, their faces pictures of determination and focus. Lucky bastards.

Rory sits opposite me away from the rest of the team and due to him being a sub this match, he's incredibly irritable.

Definitely didn't have a part in him being a sub this match.

Okay, so maybe I did.

Because after that showdown we had a week ago, I cannot get over my feelings. Every time I think about it, the same feeling of rage washes over me. But the problem is:

1) He's my teammate and he's good at football, so I can't keep him subbed forever.

2) I can't sort out my feelings because the one person I want to talk to about all of this is demanding that we have a 'break'.

The fact that I want to talk to her about my feelings, surely proves that I'm dedicated to her. I want her to meet all of my family, I want her to meet all of my friends. But I can't prove that because she keeps pushing my feelings away. Maybe that's why I was scared to introduce her to people - I was protecting myself in case she continued to push me away.

I shouldn't have let her. I should've done a big soppy gesture and told her I loved her.

Trust me, if I had the option to do it now, I sure as hell would.

So, basically my thoughts aren't all rainbows and sunshine at the moment.

My name echoes through the locker room, causing me to perk-up.

"You need to get your head in the game, Axel. You can't let your teammates down, it isn't an option. Every match is now or never and if you think it's never, I'm going to whoop your ass out of this stadium." Coach glares at me, an eyebrow raised.

His stance is demands attention, strong and broad-shouldered. His lips are pressed into a thin line, which makes me gulp in nervousness.

"I won't. I never do, Coach, you should know that." I say, putting on a fake display of confidence.

Coach can't know. My teammate can't know. My family can't know.

I feel like a mime artist stuck in a box of feelings, I can't get out.

Trust me to fall for the most complicated girl. She's one hundred percent worth it, though.

Coach ends his speech by creating a chant and then walking off and slamming his office door.

I don't call him shit-yourself Coach for nothing.

Grabbing my stuff that's encased in a duffel bag, I head out of the door.

Heading out with all of my teammates, my pace quickly lands me at the back.

Turning to look around campus, me eyes land on something beyond beautiful.

Skylar.

Walking to a coffee shop, presumably.

Her brown hair that I love to play with, billows round her. Her strides are unsure, as if she's deciding where to go. She's wearing a blue off the shoulder top, which makes my lips physically ache in the wish to kiss the exposed skin. Her legs are wrapped in her ripped black skinny jeans, which she knows kill me. Her legs look even more amazing than usual in them and I used to take fulled advantage of that by making her blush with all of my compliments.

This physically hurts. My whole body aches to see her.

She's gone as soon as I spotted her, obviously making up her mind about the direction she's going in.

If only she came over here...

A shout draws my attention back to the present and I jog back to my teammates.

My heart still aching for the girl that I've lost.

••••

Game day.

Even as a senior, matches sends adrenaline through me. Every match reminds me how much I love this sport. Every match sends determination to do better through me.

Apart from today.

Standing in the locker room, it seems as though there's chaos all around me yet the biggest mess is inside my head.

The fact that I know she won't be out there in my jersey, looking cute as fuck and cheering me on, is destroying me.

She's not going to be there.

Sweat drips down my face as usual, due to us being in California.

It's half time and I've played like shit. Literally stinking up the pitch.

Taking a big gulp out of my water, I head back out.

Even at half time, I stay on the field. I usually have a drink, a check for any injuries and then I go back out.

To stretch muscles, say hi to anyone, thank the referees. Anything really, I just want to stay on the pitch.

I've worked so hard to get into this pitch. So, why would I spend it stuck in a locker room?

I'm in the tunnel about to go out as I hear the announcer begin to speak.

Ladies and gentlemen, as the players have their break, we're going to have a dance off! Between the UCLA dance troop and their new competition. Whoever wins, gets to represent the school from now on. Please give it up for these two teams!

Fuck.

How could I forget?

Possibly the whole reason Skylar got hurt, was because she was practicing for this moment.

More adrenaline, than I thought was possible, shoots through me.

She's going to be here.

She's going to be right in front of me.

Unprepared and totally confused, I take a seat on the sideline bench.

Girls stream out of the tunnel, onto the field. Girls that have no importance to me until I see who I'm waiting for. She arrives, smiling and looking perfect as usual.

Her hair is slicked back and she's in cute shorts with a crop top on. My friend down there gets a little bit excited. But my heart and mind let out a sigh of discontentment.

I want her. I miss her. I need her.

The dance off beings with the schools dance team first, their routine the same as always. They're good, yes. But are they creative? No.

Just as they begin to finish, Coach starts shouting at us to get back on the field - our sixty second warning.

Not taking my eyes of the woman of my dreams, I slowly make my way onto the pitch.

The referee blows the whistle and my mind goes into panic.

Skylar's team doesn't get to dance during half time, they have to dance whilst we're playing and if they dance whilst we're playing - they're not going to get as much attention as the schools's dance team.

A sense of dread fills my stomach at these thoughts, knowing Skylar is going to be devastated.

I try to look and find her face, peering through the crowds of girls but I can't seem to find her.

The ball begins to fly in the air, signifying that half time is over.

The ball lands in my awaiting hands, the familiarity of it soothing me some what. Taking off running, I do a passing play down the field to my receiver.

Who jumps and catches it effortlessly, the action never failing to make me smile.

Running, passing and tackling take up my mind for the next five minutes, my mind finally finding its focus.

Running until I'm sure my team upfield have got it under control, I stop and take a deep breath of air.

The crowd seems to stand up in sync, an ooo going through the air. Squinting my eyes, I watch a sophomore make a touch down.

I let out a very professional whoop, joy over taking my body. I look to the side, hoping to smile at Skylar.

At this point, I'm desperate for any form of communication.

Look at me, baby.

She doesn't look.

Instead, her routine seems to be coming to the end. She's at the back, which causes to frown, but she looks incredible. Her body moving effortlessly and her face a pure look of concentration. A small smirk is plastered on her face indicates to me that the routine has went well.

I feel like a dip-shit for not watching her whole routine. But, I already know Rob is videoing it for me.

I know I sound like a creep, but honestly, I couldn't give a fuck.

As their routine comes to an end, another play begins. I quickly receive the ball and throw it up field, my aim off.

It's never off.

Apart from today, obviously and it's because I want to run over there and kiss the fuck out of a girl who wants to have a break.

With my aim off, the other team gains possession.

Shit, coach is so gonna kill me.

They're moving towards us and fast.

With our defence being ripped down pretty quickly, I spare one last glance at Skylar.

The sight makes my heart drop.

Blossom - obviously part of the other dance troop - is shouting in Skylar's face. Unable to hear what they're saying, I'm about to loose my patience.

Suddenly, Blossom seems to loose the rag. Her facial features twisting up and she throws her arms towards Skylar, knocking her down.

Onto her broken arm.

When a player of the opposing side hits me with a tackle, I throw him off not noticing.

I ignore coach screaming at me from the sidelines.

I ignore the concerns from the crowds.

I ignore the other team scoring.

I ignore them all because I'm too busy running towards my girl.

••••

Run Axel, run!!

What do we think is going to happen?!

Fun fact: I was so confused on how to get Skylar and Axel together in the same scene, like I literally couldn't think of anything! Then I was watching The Blindside and when Quinton drags someone off the pitch - this idea hit me!

Honestly so weird, I've never had that happen to me before!

What's the weirdest thing to ever happen to you?

Have a great weekend, guys!

Much love,

Jade x