HICCUPS POV

(Y/N) didn't seem upset from last night. I was relieved. Last night, I had a dream of returning with her to Berk hand in hand. Nothing could make me happier than for that dream to come true.

I was woken up by her soft voice this morning, and was also handed the journal I had given to her as a gift. She was determined for me to read it...

I wanted to make sure that she was sure about this decision. After all I saw from yesterday - how much she didn't want to tell me what happened that caused her to leave. She seemed very ashamed and guilty. But she was certain that she wanted me to know the truth. I felt thankful.

As she sat down by her dragon, avoiding any eye contact with me, I started reading the journal, the same journal that she always kept hidden from me all those years ago...

* * * IN THE JOURNAL * * *

Today I found proof. I found proof that what I believe in, is true. That dragons are amazing, intelligent and innocent creatures that only defend themselves when they're threatened.

I was by the docks on the East side of Berk, I was searching for perfectly round pebbles in the bass water that I could use to make a necklace as a gift to mother, for the celebration of Snoggletog. My hands were brushing through the gravel below the shallow water in order to find the perfect pebbles.

I heard a strange licking noice coming from beside me... I looked over to my right and saw the most angelic dragon I had ever seen... It was huge compared to thirteen year old me. Its wings were placed neatly on its back, it had ice white scales covering its entire circumference and its head was just above the clear water. It was unlike any dragon I had ever seen before. It was drinking... its eyes were closed, and was just drinking the water, peacefully. I felt like I should've been scared. Deep down, I guess I was, yet I wasn't shaking, my heart wasn't racing. I just stood still and stared at the reptile as she hydrated on the crystal aqua. There wasn't a single sign of aggression in its manner.

I turned around and faced it, my feet made splashing noises that caught its attention.

The dragon looked at me for a brief second, revealing its bright blue eyes (she was female), and then she continued drinking the water.

Everything they told us at Berk was wrong. This was proof right here.

I trusted her presence as did she mine. I continued looking for the pebbles in the water, leaving her be... I was still hearing her drinking beside me.

After I heard the drinking had stopped, I turned around to see if she was still there. She was. She was sitting tidily on the dock looking at me with her head tilted. I arose from the water and looked back at her. I imitated her like a mirror, tilting my head like hers. When she moved, I moved the same way. She didn't make any noise, she would just move about and watch me copying her. She was fascinated... and so was I.

I started to step closer towards her. She gave a slow burning growl. So, I slowed down and walked extremely slowly towards her, my feet dragging through the water... she faced me the whole time and as I slowed down, and she stopped growling. She trusted me. I lifted my hand at a leisurely pace and placed it on her flat nose. She closed her eyes when we touched. It felt strangely normal and almost familiar... I knew she wouldn't hurt me, unlike what everyone (except Hiccup) was telling me at Berk.

HICCUPS POV

I went on, reading about her developing connection with Libelle. Day by day, discovering similar things that I discovered when I met Toothless almost a year later. Some of the experiences she stated were exactly the same as the ones I had. It was so interesting and overwhelmingly perfect reading their bond progressing. She wrote about how she would hide her, where she would hide her, the attachment that grew between them, her first flight... on the other hand she would say how guilty she felt keeping Libelle a secret... how she avoided her family to go see her and avoided the topic of dragon training her father used to bring up during supper.

All I would question during these pages was... where was I during these times and why didn't she tell me about it? Although there was one sentence on page 108 that read 'I wish Hiccup would've been there to see it.' That sentence made me tear up and also reminded me that she did want to tell me but simply couldn't. I know more than anyone how fragile the secret of keeping a dragon can be.

After I read the prime events of (Y/N) and Libelle, and their developing friendship over a few months, I turned to a page that had been ripped out of the journal but then placed back in the exact place that it was torn. It was loose in the book. It was clearly a page that (Y/N) regrets writing but she couldn't bare getting rid of it... It was numbered page 115.

* * * THE JOURNAL * * *

(Y/N), you're writing this to remember...

To remember what you have done and to remind yourself why you will never have a place in Valhalla. Also... to anyone who will find this journal in the future after I'm long gone... this is why I left my home and abandoned the ones I loved.

It was early morning and I had already been on a flight with Libelle during sunrise, I came home and sneaked to my room through my bedroom window just before breakfast. I walked down stairs and realised that mum had been at battle last night, fighting along side dad... she didn't do that often, only when there were more dragons attacking than usual. My baby brothers, Iacob and Erik were running around the food table with wooden swords, Iacob pretended to be a dragon by roaring aggressively and pretending to breathe fire, and Erik pretended to impale the dragon with the wooden sword followed by a scream of glory..

Mum had gashes on her arm that morning, they were bad, and deep. Dad was tying cloth tightly around the wounds to stop the endless bleeding with worried look on his face. They were sitting by the table...

As I tried to pass by them quickly, heading for the door, I was stopped by Dad's voice...

"Where were you last night, (Y/N)?"

"What do you mean dad? I was home, in my room..." I panicked at the thought of him knowing that I was out during sunrise.

"Yes, exactly you were home... again." He said sternly.

"I don't understand"

"You should've been out there with us" he pointed to the sky, referring to the dragons. I was relieved that he wasn't referring to Libelle, but was also annoyed by his statement.

"I wouldn't be able to- you know that dad. We've been through this..." I told him firmly.

"Nonsense (Y/N), we need you out there. Attacks are getting worse. Numbers of the Danes who can fight are decreasing each night..." he said, holding Mum's hand. "Your mother and I know you would be great defending your island by our side. It's time that you-"

"Maybe the attacks are getting worse because you all keep killing them, Dad!" I blurted...

"(Y/N)... they're killing us as well... taking all our food, sweetheart. They need to be stopped." Mum said slowly, trying to keep the conversation relaxed. I could tell that Dad had many things to say about what I said. But Mum was squeezing his hand tightly, signalling him not to enrage.

"Mum, please... don't make me go. I can't kill dragons."

"But honey, you will be able to with practice.." she added.

"You're not listening to me! I WILL NOT KILL A DRAGON!!" I shouted.

Dad stood up from his chair and banged the table with his hands. I had never seen him so angry before.

"YES YOU WILL! We've already decided you're going to dragon training this afternoon like all your other friends wether you like it or not! We're Vikings!! It's what we do! Do your duty for your home, for you family and for your people... fight for what is right! I will not stand here and let you bring shame to our family!!"

There was an excruciating pregnant pause after that. I was deeply scared of dad. But I was mostly frightened of mum. She didn't say anything. She just sat there, with blood staining through the clean cloth around her arm. She looked so disappointed in me...

But there was no way, I was going to let them bend my morals and fight innocent creatures out of selfishness and barbaric essence. I breathed in and out and said-

"If all that being a Viking means is killing innocent creatures and loosing loved ones along the way... then I am no longer a Viking" in a composed tone and walked out of the house and shut the door behind me. Before shutting the door I could hear dad yelling.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE JUST SAY?! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!! COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT (Y/N)!" His voice was filled with venom. Behind the violent shouting, I heard mum crying...

I walked on, not looking back. I didn't know where I was headed but I had to get out of there. I wanted to go to Hiccup's house, but I hadn't seen him properly for weeks because of Libelle and didn't know what to tell him. Ooo I wanted to tell him everything so badly but I could never, ever endanger him that way. Giving him that information would put me, him and Libelle at risk, especially him being the Chief's son. I was missing him deeply, I wanted to cry in his arms and tell him everything but I knew but I couldn't. It hurt me when he brought up the fact that I'd been distant a couple days ago. He asked me why and he knew there was something on my mind... but I had to keep my mouth shut. It broke my heart to keep away from him. But it was the only way I knew that he would be safe.

Along I went, into the forest, past the log by the lake where Hiccup and I would kiss... and then up to where Libelle was living, near the stone side of the hills. She would always be around there, hunting and finding large crevices to hide in, waiting for my return. It was a perfect place to hide her because no one ever went there, it was deserted from any plants or good vegetation grounds... and no one would've ever built houses there because of how uneven the ground was. It was perfect. She would always brighten my day when I was feeling down... so that's where I went.

"Libelle- Elleeee. Where are you girl?" I shouted, looking around between the stones on the side of the hills.

I heard a growl and she revealed herself from around a corner of rocks pouncing up and down and wiggling her tail all excited.

"Come here girl" I gestured with open arms and she jumped on me until I fell down on my back. I laughed, she acted this way every time we met.

"Grawwwwrrrr" she sung her happy noises up into the air.

"Lets go for another flight, Elle!" I said and tried to get her off of me.

"Elle, move girl..." I noticed she was looking at something... she stood completely still.

"What is it Libelle?" I said, whilst escaping her grasp and standing up to see what she was looking at.

...it was my father. In his arms was a bow. He was already extending the bowstring where he placed an arrow.. it was pointing it towards Libelle's neck.

"DAD NO!!" I screamed, and stood in front of my dragon, defending her.

"Get out of the way (Y/N), that beast is going to kill you!!" He said, gesturing me to move away from Libelle.

"No dad! She's harmless, I promise!" I put my hand out signalling dad to lower the arrow...

He followed me there! I lead him straight to her! Why, was this the only time I didn't check to see if anyone was following my tracks. It was all my fault!

Libelle was startled by the sight of a stranger shouting at her, holding a sharp weapon... she started to growl and roar, she extended her wings out, as a defence mechanism...

"Arghh!! Move out of the way (Y/N), that's the work of the Devil!" Dad shouted on top of his lungs.

I stood my ground and grabbed Libelle, trying to force her not to strike back. I was shouting at Dad to stop and to lower the bow but he didn't listen, he closed one of his eyes and was going to let the arrow fly... I closed my eyes and prepared for impact. I was willing to die for what I believed in...

As soon as I heard the arrow fly, there was a loud bang. Big purple light flashed. My ears started ringing... I felt dizzy.

Libelle was standing still... She was panting with smoke lifting from the corners of her mouth. Not a single scratch on her, thank Thor!

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on my side. I placed my hand where the pain was, and looked at my hand.. there was blood all over my palm and fingers. The arrow hand just missed me, tearing my skin deeply on the side of my body (between my hip and lower rib). It was extremely painful, but all I could think was that how lucky I was to be alive.

On the floor, with burns and blood covering his entire body, motionless... was Dad.

"DAD! NO NO NOO!" My heart sunk to the floor. I pushed Elle away and ran toward my father with my hand keeping pressure on my wound.

His eyes were open and he was wheezing, desperate for air. Tears poured down my face like two salty waterfalls down my cheeks. I held his hand and squeezed it tightly. He looked at me...

"W- Wha- what have you become, daughter?" He had no compassion in his eyes. Only fear. He exhaled his last breath... his eyes shifted to look straight through me... his hand fell from mine.

"Dad! No no no!! Hold this, pleaseee dad, hold this so that you can feast with the Gods!" I wept and grasped his hand tightly around his bow to ensure he died a warriors death... to enter Valhalla. I killed him.

I screamed in agony. My heart shattered. What had I done!? I could barely breathe.

Libelle saw that I was broken and tried to comfort me, she tried to sooth the pain of the open wound on my side with her saliva, but I pushed her away aggressively...

"GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled at her. I was consumed by my own guilt and in that moment I wished that I had never found Elle that day by the docks. Never.

She purred desperately for attention but I ignored her and kept weeping and holding my dear father in my arms. That was the only time I ever yelled at Libelle... But it was all my fault.

There was nothing more I could do but escape. Leave Berk forever and never return. I couldn't bare the thought of mum finding out what I had done, I thought of how disappointed she looked before I left the house that day. My young brothers without a father... It was all too much. I left with nothing but Libelle.

Now, I'm on my way down South, I'm writing what happened in this journal, and I promise myself that I'm not going to re-read this. Because I have to move on... I can never face my family after what I did... I chose a dragon over my own people, my own family. I see the scar on the side of my body too often, reminding me of my wrongdoing. I'm only writing this to remember, and for who ever that's reading this to know how guilty I feel. I will never forgive myself.

NO POV

Hiccup walked up towards you with the closed journal in his hand.

You noticed he was done reading and you were immediately in tears, you panted nervously and curled up into a ball whilst leaning against Libelle.

Hiccup crouched down to your level and handed your journal back to you... You placed a hand on Libelle to reassure her that Hiccup meant no harm; she wasn't very fond of him.

"I killed my own father Hiccup... Only because I cared for my dragon... and to make matters worse, I left everyone! I left my family alone to grieve over him.. but I also left them to grieve over me, for no reason but cowardice. It's better that they think I'm dead.. I have too much shame for them to know what happened, it's been too long for me to return now. I killed him." You wept.

"You're not the only one who killed their father because of your love for dragons (Y/N)..." he said as he rubbed your tears off of your cheeks with his thumb and sat down next to you...

END OF CHAPTER