I was such a fuck up. After running out of Rogue's office and company, I had nowhere else to go, so I ran back home. While I stood in front of my door, I thought about the possibility of Rogue coming after me and that scared me shitless. I texted Fallon while she was out with her mother and told her I got locked out of my flat and if it was okay to stay in hers while I waited for my locks to get changed. She texted me back, and I was happy she didn't mind me staying over.

Since we had both given each other an extra key to our flats, I used my key and entered inside, locking the door behind me. If Rogue were to show up, I knew he wouldn't be able to find me here.

Fallon's flat was colorful. There were so many colors, prints, and embroidery. But still, I found it much cozier than mine. I dumped my stuff on the ground and lowered on her couch, closing my eyes for a moment, and when I did, I was taken back to that moment I let myself be vulnerable and admitted to Rogue that there was something between us, and then let him touch and kissed me. I didn't think anything would ever make me feel better after that. I got my phone out of my bag to call Lauren. She didn't pick up after a few seconds, then it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey, it's me." I knew my voice sounded weird, and I also knew Lauren would pick it right up. I didn't mean to sound like that, and knowing her, she would get so worked up about it. "Laurie, I have a major crisis. Please, call me when you get this. Bye."

I dropped my hand and threw my head back, letting out a frustrated sound. My phone jumped to life in my hand, and I accepted the call without looking at the caller ID, assuming it was Lauren calling me back.

"Hey, that was fas—"

"Hello, Beth," West spoke softly into the phone.

My eyes widened as I straightened and switched the phone to the other ear, almost gasping out, "West." I tried to sound happy that he called, but honestly, I was more startled than happy. I had completely forgotten about West. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Where are you right now?"

I looked around the flat. "Um.." I struggled to tell him where I was, scratching my temple. "I'm at work." I scrunched my face as soon as I said it, curling my hand into a fist. Why didn't I just tell him where I was?

"Cool. I'll drop by and see you," he said.

I shot up with wide eyes. "No!" I yelled.

"No?" West sounded confused.

Biting hard on my knuckles, I punched the pillow in front of me and quieted down my racing heart. "I mean..." I cleared my throat, sounding calmer. At least, pretending to be calm. "I mean, I'm not currently at the office right now. Richard, my boss, sent me out on a work errand so I'm not there, and I don't know when I will get back. Plus, I don't want to keep you waiting in case you have other commitments." I gritted my teeth, silently praying he would accept my excuse.

"Ah, right." I heard him walking around. "It's fine. I called because I wanted to see you, but since you're busy, I might drop by another time."

A soundless scream of 'yes' left my mouth and a weight disappeared from my chest. Then I remembered I haven't said anything back. "I'm sorry, West. I want to see you too, but you caught me at the wrong time. I'll text you when I'm not busy, I promise."

When we said our goodbyes, I closed my eyes and tried to rest it for a few minutes. My phone rang again and I thought it had to be Lauren, but it was my mother. It rang a few times before I answered.

"Hi, mum."

"Beth! How are you?" Her voice was shrill, and I heard noises in the background like music was being played.

"I'm good. Why are you screaming?" I yelled back, hearing her muttered a few curses, and then I could hear the voice of my dad in the background talking, but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Your father has music on so I didn't think you could hear me. Stephen, turn down the bloody music. Your daughter's on the phone!" There was a little scuffle before she was back on the line. "Beth, can you hear me?"

"Yeah. Why is dad doing that?"

"Why does your father annoy me? Oh, I don't know. Wait, let me step outside." I heard her laugh in the background and then the sound of the door opening. The noises went quiet after that, and mum spoke again. "So, how are you, sweetheart? How's work?"

"I'm good, and work is work. How are you guys?" I haven't had the chance to see them in months, and I felt like shit for not visiting, but at least, I get to call them often and we FaceTimed when we could.

"Everything's fine. Guess what? Stephanie is coming to visit you in a few days—oh bloody hell, I should not have said that. Pretend I didn't say that."

I sat up in excitement. "Mum, did she tell you not to tell me, the little rat! When does she get here?"

"Beth, you are not supposed to know what. Stephanie wanted it to be a surprise. She's got a break from school and wanted to spend time with you." She sighed. "I wish your dad and I could fly out there and be with you guys. I can't remember the last time we were all in the same place at once."

I couldn't remember either. Christmas, I missed it. Thanksgiving, Stephanie had to stay behind at the dorms to complete her project. Those little excuses started occurring, and then we couldn't be together again.

"How's Daniel?" I asked about my youngest brother. "Is he still getting into fights at school?"

"He's calm," she answered. "But I told your father it's not permanent. Ever since we threatened to ship him off to military school, Dan's suddenly quiet. I don't trust him for one second."

I laughed. "Give the boy some credit, mum. Maybe he's trying to change."

"That's funny." She started moving around. "Beth, I have to go, sweetheart. I've left your dad alone for longer than it's necessary. I wonder what mess he's made." I heard the sound of the door open and close. "Talk to you soon. Love you." Then she hung up.

Deciding that staying at home wasn't going to solve any of my problems, and would only get me working late for a few days, I made up my mind to go back to work and face my life. I could not let Rogue rule the life I was trying so hard to focus on.

Well, I did try.

Which each passing second, I kept staring at the time, watching it turn into minutes and hours, remembering the dinner plans I had with Rogue, which I was not, definitely not going to attend, because why would I?

It started to drive me crazy. I couldn't pay attention to anything else besides wondering what the dinner would be about, what he wanted to say to me.

Nope.

I wasn't interested. I was not going. I had made up my mind.

————

As Rogue had promised, his driver arrived exactly at seven, and when I slid into the car, I was alone. It was strange how I felt disappointed to find an empty car but not as disappointed as I was in myself for going to dinner. When we arrived at our destination, his driver asked me to step down from the car and take the elevator to the top floor, which the restaurant would be at.

I was the only one who got into the elevator, clutching my purse in hand. When I reached the top, the doors opened to the hostess desk of the restaurant that had no name. I opened my mouth to tell the hostess which name I was under when a hand pressed into my back, sending a jolt of electricity to my body.

"Hello."

Turning around, I met with Rogue's smile. He was wearing the same suit he had been wearing earlier, but only the tie was different. It was tailored so perfectly that I could imagine how good he looked underneath his clothes. He looked like the kind of man any woman would fantasize about but would be scared to go for because everything about him was intimidating and scary.

And I was dumb enough to accept his date. I mean, dinner. Whatever.

Rogue had his sly smile that made my heart flutter and got me thinking of running out of there. Should I have come? Was this a mistake?

"Good evening, Mr. Slade. Your table is ready."

The entire time, he had his hand rested against my back as he directed me through the restaurant, the feel of his fingers was hot and charged against my skin that I wanted to slip away from his hold, but I didn't have to yearn for it any longer when he released me to sit.

The Japanese restaurant had a floor seating with a medium-sized wooden table. Dragon garlands were hanging off the walls and cherry flower paper lamps.

After we settled, Rogue mused, "You came."

My hands fisted. "Yeah, well.." I trailed off with a shrug, my heart racing. I suppose he thought I wasn't going to. Well, almost.

He tipped his chin down, a sick grin spreading across his face. "Thank you for coming. That truly means you're willing to give me a chance."

I held his stare. "Let me be straight with you. I'm only here because I left without getting my picture back," I told him, my voice low and steady. "That's the only reason why I'm here." Or so I keep telling myself.

"Oh, yeah?" There was a fire starting to burn in Rogue's eyes as he lifted a glass to his lips. "Nonetheless, you're here with me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, dropping my voice to a whisper, "To get my picture back," I repeated, ignoring how he wanted to make this something that it wasn't. I fully came here intending to get the picture that I hadn't been able to get yesterday.

Rogue held my eyes, his expression hardening as his rich scent flooded my head. "Do you want to tattoo that on your forehead to continue reminding me, because I don't think I've heard it quite enough?"

"I'm sorry that you thought I came here to eat and talk about how our day went." He didn't respond immediately because the waiter arrived and we ordered. At least, he ordered for me. I didn't want to be comfortable or pretend we were here on a date, which was why I refused to order. Rogue took it upon himself to.

After the waiter left, he refilled his glass, and mine remained left untouched and I saw him glance at it. "Come on, we're not arguing tonight," he said with a gleam in his eyes.

"No?" My hands curled, and I wanted to slap him. "I came fully prepared, though."

Rogue glared at me, sparking with temper. The waiter arrived with our food. The Yaki-udon looked mouthwatering and probably tasted amazing, but I didn't want to touch it even though I was hungry.

"Why did you choose this restaurant?"

"You don't like Japanese?"

"No, it's not that. I just—never mind." I shook my head, quickly bringing the fork to my mouth, breaking my rule of not eating anything, and used that an excuse not to say anything further.

"What?" Rogue asked in amusement, his grin as wicked as it was distracting. "Say what's on your mind, Beth. You've been doing that lately. Why stop now?"

I held his stare as I straightened, my arms resting on my sides. "I just never pegged you as someone who likes things traditional."

"There are some things you still don't know about me." He had lost the playfulness he had and something about that made me feel much better—to be able to cause him a little pain or discomfort like he had done to me, but it still felt hollow.

"It's okay. I already know the important things I need to know, and I'd like to make it known that they're not some things I can easily overlook. I'm sure you think they aren't a big deal, but they are," I said. Things would be different whether he liked it or not, or participated in changing it. With a little huff, I looked out of the window briefly then brought my gaze back to him. "Anyway, I'm also not implying anything is going to happen between us."

He cocked his head. "Even if they will?

I choked on the food I was chewing. When the coughing spasms eased, I turned around to glare at Rogue that made the outrageous statement. I stared at him, trying to find words to represent my emotions. There were none.

"See right there—you're so controlling and demanding. You don't care about what I want, which doesn't matter because I still stand my ground. The world I live in, I do what I want and no one gets to decide anything for me."

"Doesn't it get tiring, though? Having to be in control?" He leaned forward. "Wouldn't you like to know what it feels like to give yourself up? To lose all your control and submit to me?"

It sounded exciting, but that confession sounded so appalling in my mind, I wouldn't dare admit it to him. He would likely push me more because at least, half of whom he was came from the fact that everyone had submitted to him.

"So, you want to take away my will."

He waved it aside. "How very wrong of you."

"Am I?" I asked with knitted brows. "You said so yourself. Your world is having everyone do what Rogue Slade wants and everything else be damned. You take too much pleasure in my resistance, don't you? I would prefer not to give you any pleasure at all."

His jaw hardened to stone, and the muscles twitched in his face, holding back, restraining. "I'm not going to argue with you there." He was wearing his cruel smile, so I had little doubt about that.

"That doesn't sound like a denial."

"I'm not denying anything, but you're right. I want you because you're making it hard to get you. I'm used to having things without being asked and it's boring, but you put up a fight with me, Beth, and that's better than any drug I know." There was warmth now in his eyes and a smile that made him so handsome I was nearly mesmerized.

"And if I submit to you, do whatever you want me to do, will that make you go away?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

The question did not seem to be for me, actually, merely was he wondering it aloud. But I answered him anyway. "End it here. Whatever you think is going on."

"End it." The words rolled on his mouth and then he chuckled. "Is that really what you want?" The way he looked at me—looked into me with those hazel eyes and that intense gaze—it was hard not to cave.

"Yes, because nothing is going to happen. You're just fixated on me because I'm the only one who doesn't want to sleep with you. Yes, I'm attracted to you, Rogue, but I'm not going to do something about it. And trust me, this is something that will pass. Your infatuation with me will be a thing of the past."

Rogue dropped his fork on his plate with a sound that made me jump. "Infatuation," he chided, though there was real humor in his eyes. "That's what you're calling it?" He sounded pissed, even though what I said was nothing but the truth.

"That's what it is." I shifted uncomfortably on the cushion.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"No, I have to tell you. I'm not going to have anything with you when it doesn't exist. As soon as you get what you want, you're going to dump me aside. You would have satisfied your curiosity, but then what about me? Emotions will be there whether I like it or not. I'm trying to protect myself from it, and you're being selfish."

Rogue leaned forward again, practically growling, "You know you speak bullshit, right? You want me to quietly agree to stop seeing you, touching you, hearing your voice, and being around you? But you know what your problem is? The problem isn't the infatuation you think I have, it's how you react to me. How you feel, and how easily you think you might fall, but you can go ahead and call what I have for you an infatuation. Makeup whatever story you want, but it won't change anything. It won't change how I think about you or how I feel. If it makes you feel any better, you can continue pretending it's a fixation."

Suddenly, I felt like crying because he was right. I was scared of my feelings and his feelings, and he fucking knew it. I was more pissed that he wanted to make me feel like his feelings for me were more than I thought. It couldn't be. It would never be.

"What about Veronica?"

"What about her?" he simply asked.

"Do you love her?"

"I do."

My stomach dropped and ached. A punch to the gut would be more pleasant. I was too stunned for words and let out a harsh laugh. "And you want me to accept you when you're admitting to loving another woman?"

Rogue seemed slightly taken aback as a new tension was wrapped densely around us, and seemed to thicken like a wall between us. "I don't love her like that. She's a married woman, for fucks sake, but I do need her. She's—"

I interjected as I picked up my fork. "You want me and you need her. Which one do you think has more weight?"

"She's an important woman to me, one I can't throw away for anyone. I'm not going to lie to you, Beth, Veronica has a piece of me. No one understands us, and you won't either. I'm protective of her, and anyone who tries to hurt her, physically or emotionally, I'll hurt them back. If anyone wants me, they will have to accept my relationship with her."

I was in a state of utter disbelief and pain. Neither feeling sat well with me at the moment, but neither would leave me alone.

"Please, stop," I returned with an edge to my voice. "This is why you and I won't ever work."

"You're mistaken." Rogue's teasing air vanished, and his chiseled mouth tightened. There was a sudden, grim silence between us before he continued, "I said anyone. You don't qualify as anyone. I won't give you up for anything, but I won't give up Veronica either. You can choose to be stubborn about it. It won't change anything."

I never got to reply to that before I heard my name from behind. "Beth?"

I swiveled around, and my heart immediately hammered when I stared into West's eyes. I looked back at Rogue, but he wasn't looking at either one of us. West walked the small distance that separated us and stood over me.

"I thought that was you," he said with a smile as he looked between me and Rogue.

Standing up, I faced West, now feeling Rogue's gaze on me. "Hey." I didn't know why I pulled him into a hug, or why I let him pecked me on the lips. I just thought if I did that, he wouldn't suspect anything was happening between me and Rogue, and there was no suspicion in his eyes.

"Who is your friend?"

I glanced at Rogue, who was staring down at his food and not acknowledging West, not that I expected him to. "Oh, this is Rogue Slade. Our companies are working together right now, and we're just going through things. I told you about it, remember?" No, I didn't tell him about it. I just hoped he would think that I did and not ask any questions.

"I think you did, but I can't quite remember, sorry." He reached his hand out toward Rogue. "I've heard your name before. Nice to meet you, Mr. Slade."

My breathing was so shallow now as I looked between the outstretched hand that was yet to be taken, and the so-called man who was staring at the hand too, and when Rogue brought his gaze to me, I gave him a pleading look to accept it. Rogue narrowed his eyes at me, so cold they made me flinch a little.

My heart was beating so hard I was surprised it wasn't boring a hole through my chest. I placed my palms down on the table to brace myself. I took a deep breath. Then another and another. I was practically thinking of ways I would explain to West the reason why Rogue didn't accept his handshake, and I could not find it. There was no valid reason why he would do that except for one thing only, which I didn't want him to think about.