《Teaching At An All Boys School》Chapter 28- Nothing
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I left the school after talking to Wyatt, and I walked around for hours, thoughts flooding my mind and haunting me. They just wouldn't leave me alone.
I had to stop for a bit at some points when tears blurred my vision and I couldn't see. People gave me weird looks but I honestly couldn't care less.
I was so busy trying to get Ash that I didn't realize it would mean I'd lose Wyatt. I didn't realize how much it would hurt him if he ever found out.
All emotions are blind, it's not just love, and when you're blind you don't see - you don't realize what those emotions can do. What they can destroy.
I was blind and now I know exactly what I destroyed.
I destroyed an innocent person that had never done anything to me to deserve it. In fact, he has only ever made me smile and pulled me up but I didn't realize how much I need him.
I have to talk to him, I will do anything for his actual forgiveness. I'll give up anything to go back in time, but that's impossible.
I walk into the room I share with him when I get back from the walk, slamming the door shut and looking to see if he would be in his usual spot on the bed, but he's not.
He's gone.
Not just him, everything of his is gone with him: his sheets, his clothes, the smell of his cologne, and his toothbrush is missing from the little cup by the sink.
Everything of his is just gone.
There is only one thing of his on his side of the room and it's a note that is written on a few yellow sticky notes, and the colour of them makes everything else in the room seem so dull.
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I pull them off the bed side table and sit down on my bed, my eyes scan over the words.
What broke my heart the most wasn't the words. What tore me to peices was the little heart and smiley face next to his name. It was so... Wyatt.
This is what I deserve. They say karma is a bitch but it's not true, I was the bitch. This is just karma doing it's job. I just wish I could go back now and fix things.
I don't know how I am going to get through the rest of the year without him. He always got me into a better mood in the mornings. He did so much for me and I didn't even notice.
They say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, and right now, those words have never been more true.
*=*=*=*
I knock in Jason's door really hard, hoping someone will answer. I don't know what I'm going to say but I need Wyatt to forgive me. I don't care what it takes.
The door is pulled open and Jason comes into view. He has a scowl on his face and when he sees me, his scowl deepens.
"What?" he asks, angrily. His dark eyes are filled with so many emotions, mainly anger and sadness.
"Jason, please let me see him?" I beg.
Jason leans back and looks at something behind the door, out of my line of sight, "Wyatt isn't smiling right now. When his smile is gone, he's not very nice." Jason states. he turns back to look at me, folding his arms across his chest.
I shake my head. "I don't care-"
"Yeah," Jason cuts me off, and then gives me a once over. "Clearly you never have." He steps back and is about to close the door when I stick my foot in the way, stopping the door from shutting.
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"You're mad at me too now? Aren't you being a little overdramatic?" I ask, frowning. I bite down on my lip to stop the pain of how hard the door hit my foot.
He scoffs. "Coral, I'm not mad at you. I just don't trust you and I can't be your friend. Wyatt is one of my closest friends and you hurt him so badly that he is literally just sitting in a corner and crying. I've been friends with him for years, and not once have I seen him like this. Then one petty and selfish girl comes along and breaks him.
"I don't even know what to do, Coral. Wyatt is always the one to cheer people up, not me. I can't even help him. How could you use him like that? You don't understand how much he loved you. Even when you two weren't dating, when you weren't in the room, all he would talk about is you. When you became his girlfriend, in South Africa, he called me and told me, and he was so excited that I could actually imagine him jumping up and down. You broke someone who cared so much about you, and he deserves so much better than you," Jason's looks down at me with a condescending glare and I can't help but take a step back, away from him.
This is exactly how it was the first day we met. It's like he has blocked me off all over again and I'll probably never hear his rare laugh again.
"All I can do to help Wyatt is tell you this: Stay away from him. I don't care if you realize you like him now, just stay away. Nothing you do will ever make what you did okay," Jason warns and then shuts the door, leaving me alone.
How could I have damaged someone this badly? The one person that was always happy and amazing.
My lip quivers and I block my mouth with my hand, the reality of what I've done hitting me hard.
I used the one person who really loved me, and now that love is ruining him.
*=*=*=*
T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylzk
S n a p c h a t : laylz_k
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Terminal
My heart was shattered that day. It was on that day that I realized that life had an end, and that mine was coming. It was on that day that I realized that I was going to die. Leukemia, they told me. It's almost over. I didn't know what to do after that. I thought that maybe it would be best to die right then, get it over with. I thought that I could push myself away from all my friends, all my family, stop them from missing me after I was gone. I thought that I could handle it on my own, that perhaps the world was better off without me. I was wrong. So please help me, I'm dying. Save me, I'm falling. They tell me I won't survive. Please catch me, because if you don't, I'll shatter. I can't grab on anymore, I can't keep fighting. It's going to swallow me up. My name is Alyssa Gray, and by the time you finish reading this, I'll be dead. ________________________________ A few warnings and things to note: -I've put up the tramatising content tag due to a lot of mentions on death, dying, illness, and a mother who tends to be rather cruel. I know that I take a perspective that many will strongly disagree with, and I'm okay with that. Just be warned that this isn't lighthearted stuff. This is real, and death is real, and this part streaches beyond the fiction into reality. -I'm going to say a minor spoiler, but I don't want it to take you unaware because it is something to be aware of. At one point, my MC attempts suicide and fails. It's a very violent scene and I will put up the gore tag after writing this, and it's also just really depressing. If this will be triggering, you need to be aware of this before you read it. -This is a christian book. It may go against some of your beliefs. I hope that you can read and comment anyway even if some of it does not sit well with you. Credits for the cover go to the user 'Media in Sanity'. Your help and assitance has meant so much to me, God bless you in your writing and your endevours. A proud member of WriTE. I've promised to finish this fiction and update it at least once a month. My schedule is very irregular, and I'm working on that, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that this book stays out there. I'm not ending it until it's done.
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