I lie on my new bed, thoughts flooding my head like vicious waves.

I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could make the dull empty pain in my heart go away, but it won't. I should have stayed just like Ash. I should have fucked whoever I wanted, maybe then Coral would have wanted me, right?

Maybe then she would use someone else to try and get my attention. If only I were that lucky.

"Wyatt, you want to get lunch? They have pizza... You can't say no to pizza," Jason offers. "It's even pepperoni."

Like the one I gave Coral when I asked her out. When she said she loved me. When I was being a dumbass, thinking she would actually love me back.

I look up at the roof, "No, thanks."

Jason sighs. "Come on, Wyatt. I know she hurt you but the holidays are over and you're going to have to leave the room to go to class."

"Yeah," I whisper. "You should go, before the pizza gets finished."

"Can I bring you anything? You haven't eaten for days, Wyatt. You have to eat. This isn't healthy," he scolds me.

"I said I'm fine. I'm not hungry, okay?" I say, wishing he would listen. After a moment, he hesitantly leaves, letting me be alone.

I feel so pathetic. It is actually sad to think that I was really in love with her, and she couldn't give two shits. That's what hurts the most; I cared too much, and she used that against me.

No, that's not what hurts the most. What hurts is the fact that I still want her. I can't help loving her.

I should just use girls. I'll show Coral that I can be what she seems to want. I can sleep around and cheat, I can act like I don't have a soul. I can be everything she wants. Maybe then she'll love me.

Maybe.

Am I supposed to be over her already? Am I supposed to be okay? I shouldn't be thinking of her so much. She's the only thing that's on my mind.

It's almost like she is my poison, and now she has ruined parts of me and left me to die.

I still fucking love her. I love the girl that used me to get to one of my friends. Why did I have to fall for her? She looked so sweet, I couldn't help myself.

This really is my punishment. I was never supposed to fall in love. This is God telling me that if I hadn't fallen in love, I wouldn't have been hurt.

It's true. Love fucking sucks, more than any other emotion. It's nice while it lasts, but it never really lasts.

I pick up my phone and call her number.

"Hello?" she answers.

My heart beats faster at the sound of her voice, and I pause for a moment before answering, "Coral," I whisper. I miss her voice. I miss her more than I should.

So many people would be so disappointed in me. They would think I'm an idiot for still wanting her, and I am. I wish I didn't. I would do anything to forget about the way her lips felt on mine, or the way she laughed at really bad puns and always smiled for me when I woke her up in the middle of the night. She would always smile.

"Wyatt? Oh my God, Wyatt. I am so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I love you. Please, you have to believe me. I didn't mean to hurt you," she says in a rush.

I close my eyes, and one more tear slips down my pathetic face. Well, you did. You hurt me.

"Wyatt?" Coral whispers, trying to figure out if I'm still here. I even miss the way she says my name.

"I hate you, Coral. I hate you so much. I-I wish I could be nice to you, but I can't do it. You are tearing me to pieces, and all I can do is watch. Fuck, I hate it. I hate that I miss you." I end the call, immediately regretting what I said.

I need to get drunk. I need to be the person I was before I met Coral. That was a guy that didn't feel pain. A guy that didn't care. I want to be him again.

I stand up, pulling a jacket on, and I walk out. From now on, I am him. There is no other part of me anymore, Coral ripped the nice part of me away, and I don't plan on trying to bring it back.

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T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx

I n s t a g r a m : laylzk

S n a p c h a t : laylz_k