I could taste her heat on my tongue. It'd filled the humid room, dark and wild, and for a moment she looked like she wanted me. I was weak. I wanted her too much when she looked at me like that. When she looked like she wanted me and smelled like it to.

Our bond sensed the moment and coiled worryingly tighter. I hadn't picked up the old texts in ages and most of the stories were of immediately completed bonds. I wasn't sure what putting off our Ilharus would mean for the bond. Prince Roan insinuated that it would demand more, and I worried that each time we satisfied it, it would get more insistent.

I retreated into the living room to escape the heady scent of Addison's desire as it leaked out of the doorway that led into the bathing room. The couch was the same way I had left it this morning, the blanket was thrown over the back and two of the cushions were askew.

I didn't bother fixing them. I dropped onto it carelessly, flinging my legs over one of the arms. I was too tall to sleep here comfortably. My mind strayed to thoughts of the bed, of Addison there asking me to join her.

My heart constricted, not the bond this time. I desperately wanted to hold her and comfort her. When I'd dreamed of my mating I'd dreamt of an intimacy and domesticity. I'd dreamt of the joy of small touches and drawing comfort from each other.

I'd dreamt of other more passionate things as well, certainly. But, those desires were far out of reach. She wouldn't be comfortable with you in that bed with her. For now, that idea was best left to dreams, maybe.

I heard Addison slip silently into the bedroom. The smell of halli blossoms drifted after her.

The night was dark and silent and the bond between us coiled too tight. It felt like a pressure on my chest. It was making itself known. It wanted us to know it was hungry. It took too long to fall asleep, between the bond and my worry over whether she'd be pleased on our tour tomorrow.

When I finally fell asleep it wasn't nearly restful. The smallest thing seemed to cause me to stir.

"Esayr?"

I was instantly alert. She'd come to me in fevered dreams ever since I first laid eyes on her. As wonderful as the dreams were, they hurt. "Yes, Addison?"

"I can't...get comfortable."

She was standing in the doorway leading to the bedroom. The slide of the sheets she'd pulled around her the only sound save my breathing. The bond was a greedy creature. No one would ever describe it as patient. "I know."

"Why?"

"The bond. Prince Roan described it best. It demands closeness. Moreso in new matings."

She stepped closer to me. The white of her sleep clothes and the blankets made her almost luminescent in the dark room. I drank in the sight of her approaching me. She was bolder in these dreams.

Addison stopped just out of arms reach, "I can't sleep because of it."

"Neither can I."

Her face screwed up into a look of frustration, "It gets easier when I'm closer to you."

I nodded. I felt it too. The bond loosening between us stretching and curling like a cat around us. "It's doing it's best to train us how to appease it." I laughed at my joke. It wasn't a sentient creature, merely a manifestation of our souls' desires, but historically speaking it's described as a knowledgeable being.

She stepped closer and made to sit on the floor in front of me. I was up in an instant and redirecting her to the couch.

She protested, but settled into the corner, "I just...is it ok if I stay out here for a while. Near you?"

She wasn't bold in this dream and I didn't mind. I was happy to care for her and just sit in her presence even here. Truthfully I was grateful this dream wasn't like the others I'd had. As enticing as they were, it wasn't worth waking up to realize they weren't real. "It's the only thing I have ever wanted in all of my life. Please, stay with me."

I sat on the floor in front of her and leaned my back against the couch.

"Tell me about this bond. Why does this happen? We don't have anything like it where I'm from."

"Don't you? You have a concept of soulmates, which in theory is the same."

"In theory, yeah. But we don't have anything quite like this. Nothing that's such a physical proof of a connection."

She stretched out on the couch behind me as I was drawn back to lessons in the atrium and the stories my father whispered to me before I fell asleep, "It is a divine blessing and the only decree from our Gods. It is a very old and long story."

"Tell me. I like stories."

"It begins when, in the darkness, the first thread of light broke free. It wove itself into a grand sheet that draped itself across the world and banished the darkness from the land. Everything --all of creation-- is found in this tapestry. It is constantly weaving. The first grand soul shivered into existence in the brightness of our world. Two deities, Volla'Drannen, and Vallo'Karain, male and female, two halves of that Grand Soul walked the light bathed lands of Var'Hallen --our home planet," I fell back into the stories so easily despite it having been ages since I'd heard them.

"After them came many more, but they were the first. They represent balance, light, love, and righteousness. Together, in the beginning, they watched over the creation of each new soul blessed and guided them into the new world. First came the Grand Soul --they who governed all the light reached Volla'Drannen and Vallo'Karain. Then came the Lesser Souls --those that watched over smaller things like Vall'Yara of cool waters or Vall'Endar of crackling flame. And then came us, The Val'Dornn and Val'Kier --those that walked Var'Hallen in the image of our Gods and aided them...and worshiped them. But the night was hungry."

Soft fingers slid into my hair brushing the curls behind my ears and smoothing it back where it had become messy from sleep. I leaned into the comforting touch and relished it. "Alo'Hira, the formless dark, and keeper of stars did not like being usurped. Tirelessly he worked, forging a blade in the heart of a long-dead star. A blade of black metal that consumed anything it touched. He drew the blade back and slashed down the middle of that tapestry, cutting it nearly in half. Instantly, we were all separated, cut down the middle save that small binding tether. The frayed ends of our souls reached out toward our other half. And, the darkness rushed back in. The light was halved and they battled each other above in the heavens splitting their time upon Var'Hallen, day and night. They raged and raged. Volla'Drannen and Vallo'Karain pushed back against Alo'Hira to his place in the deep space. But he devised a plan. One soul was too strong and their bonds could be reknit. So, he endeavored to dispose of one half. He drew back his sword aiming for Volla'Drannen. Vallo'Karain took the death blow instead, ferocious and protective she dove in front of the blade. It bit into flesh, consuming her. Still spiked on the end of his blade, Alo'Hira threw her into the stars and across the universe out of Volla'Drannen's reach."

Addison's breathing was soft and I'd almost thought she'd fallen asleep. Her gentle touch in my hair had settled onto my shoulder. "Keep going," she whispered quiet and drowsy.

I looked back at her to see the contentment on her face. If she had been taken from me and thrown to the end of the universe as Vallo'Karain had been I would have searched for her forever. I knew it. "Volla'Drannen was furious and heartbroken. In his fury, he charged headlong into Alo'Hira, into the stars and threw him into the dark star that he'd used to make his sword. But, the tapestry was still unraveling, ripping and ripping. Once you cut one thread, the rest begin to come loose. Volla'Drannen declared to our people that we must endeavor to piece the tapestry back together. If it ripped entirely in two the other half would be lost. We didn't know how to fix it, though. He said, 'Start with your souls. Find that what is within your grasp and stitch it back together, as I will now.' He took the stars to find his mate, his bride. He embarked upon his Searching Soul, his Temani Bercari. He's even now racing against the unraveling tapestry so that he can save Vallo'Karain and the rest of creation. Our job as Val'Dornn and Val'Kier was to find our other half and stitch our parts of the tapestry back together to stave off the constant unraveling. But, we found out later that the deathblow to Vallo'Karain didn't eat just at her, but all of the females in her image. Slowly it tried to consume the tapestry from the center. Fewer and fewer females survived the anomaly that weakened the arm of our X chromosomes. Our souls began to be flung farther and farther away upon creation until the first flew out into the darkness. And finally, we realized we would have to brave the formless dark. We would have to brave Alo'Hira just as Volla'Drannen had. He guides us in his wake directing us to the planets he has searched for his love --his soul-- allowing us to find our souls and strengthen himself and Vallo'Karain where she waits for him."

She was sleeping, lulled by the same stories my father had told me. The dream drifted into darkness easily as I leaned against the couch, watching her.