He didn't know what hurt more the fact that Jade didn't remember him, or that she was finally awake. It hurt to know she was awake because though she might not feel it now the amount of pain she will feel and have to go through hurts him. He watched as she dozed off back to sleep and the nurse said it was normal for a patient who has been through serious trauma not to remember details, but he wasn't some minor detail.

Sighing, he picked up his phone and rang Jade's family letting them know she was awake and told them her memory was a little foggy. They said they would be down as soon as possible and Marcus sighed again when he hung up the phone.

The doctor told him that in a few days she could remember, but it would be hard to tell as there was bleeding and swelling on the brain which may have resulted in brain damage. Marcus knew Jade wouldn't be up again for a few hours so he went home, had a shower and nap before returning to the hospital.

When Jade woke a few hours later the light wasn't so bright, but everything inside of her head hurt. It hurt to think or remember why she was here. Looking around she realised she was alone and for a moment she had a brief memory of gunfire and pain but thinking anymore about it hurt. She tried to stretch out her legs and frowned when she couldn't feel anything. She tried to move her toes, but again she couldn't move them or feel anything.

She could hear the heart monitor beeping faster as her breathing quickened as her panic settled in. The increase in her heart monitor caused nurses to rush in as Jade felt tears run down her face.

"I can't feel my toes." She hyperventilated, and the nurses tried to calm her down.

"Miss Jennings you need to relax or we will have to sedate you." A soft voice said, but she was too frantic as she tried to move her legs away, but felt nothing.

When Marcus came back to the hospital, he saw a commotion in Jade's room and his heart dropped and he sprinted into her room.

"I can't feel them; I can't feel my legs." Jade was screaming as the nurses tried to calm her down. He saw a nurse come in with a needle and he quickly stopped her.

"Let me try first." The nurse nodded towards him and he slowly walked in saw her crying on the bed pushing off the nurse trying to hold her down.

"Jade." He whispered knowing she probably wouldn't remember him, but maybe he couldn't try to calm her down.

"Marcus? What's going on, why can't I feel my legs?" Marcus stood shocked that she remembered him, but soon he was rushing towards her side.

"Jade, it's going to be okay, you need to trust me and take some deep breaths." He took some deep breaths with her, but she was still panicking. So he took her face into his hands and leaned in and rested his head against hers.

"Jade please you need to relax. Please, for me. Relax and calm down, or they will put you to sleep." They both closed their eyes and savoured in each other's touch and soon Marcus heard the heart monitor return to its normal pace.

Neither of them wanted to move, but soon Marcus was pulling away so the nurses and the doctors could attend to Jade. He went to go stand outside while the doctors explained her injuries, but when Jade reached out her hand and grabbed his Marcus sat by her side.

"You have extreme nerve damage to your legs, and your body was covered in 75% burns. You suffered severe bleeding to the brain and we still don't know the extent of the damage, only that time will tell." As the doctor told her all her injuries, she tried to remember how they occurred, but remembering anything from the last month was all the blur and a mess.

"Will I be able to walk again?" She asked and when she felt Marcus squeeze her hand, she felt her heart sink in her chest. The doctor took off his glasses and place a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's hard to tell, but it is unlikely." When the doctors pronounced this Jade felt her heart skip a beat as tears started to run down her face. She didn't know what to feel.

It was like her mind wasn't processing the doctor's words properly because she tried to move her legs again, but she felt nothing again.

"This can't be happening." She sobbed as Marcus gently squeezed her hand. She slammed her other hand into the bed and if she could kick her she would. She felt a shot of anger course through her body and she shoved at her hand and removed it from Marcus's

"Leave." She said bluntly and Marcus frowned and tried to grab her hand again.

"Jade, it will be okay." He breathed, but Jade was too angry to listen.

"I said leave me alone." She yelled and felt her face heat up as she crossed her arms over her chest ignoring the slight pain she was feeling.

"But Jade." She gave him a look that told him to shut up and get out before she did something she would regret.

"Okay, I'll leave." Jade watched as Marcus and the doctor left the room and when they did, she broke down. The anger disappeared leaving nothing, but raw and painful emotions. She felt in the pit of her stomach that something very terrible had happened, but she couldn't remember what happened for the life of her. The last thing she remembered was leaving for the tour, but everything else was a blur. She knew some time had passed, but how much she was unsure of. She continued to cry until there was a soft knock at her door and she broke down, even more, when she saw her father and brother.

"Oh, Jade." They rushed to her bedside, and she wished she could curl up in her father's lap like she used to do on rare occasions as a child.

They all just sat there comforting each other and once Jade had stopped crying, they began to tell her what she had missed. She learnt Nicole had a baby boy, and she was sad to find out he was nearly 3 months old. Her brother showed her picture of her new nephew and he promised Nicole would bring him in for a visit and a cuddle. They also told her that Marcus hasn't left her side since he got back and though she remembers being so fucking pissed at him, she was just too tired to be angry, though that didn't mean he wasn't off the hook.

After a while, her family had to leave promising to visit as soon as they could and Jade understood that they had their own lives to live. It didn't take long after they left before her body felt tired and soon she was sub coming to the darkness where she had terrible dreams and visions of events she couldn't remember when she woke up.

She was awoken with a start, but she couldn't remember what woke her up. Her body was in a cold sweat and she felt herself hyperventilating. She wanted to curl up and hide in the corner, but she couldn't move causing her body to shut down on her.

She knew what was going on. She knew she was safe, but her mind couldn't process everything that was going on around her. She thought she heard voices, but she felt like she was underwater, drowning, struggling to breathe. She didn't know how long she felt like she was underwater before she felt like she could breathe again.

Her vision cleared and she could see she was in the hospital alone. Looking around her throat felt dry, and she saw a cup next to her, but when she grabbed the cup and jug she didn't know what to do. She looked at the water confused knowing the water had to get from the jug to the cup, but her mind couldn't comprehend what she had to do. She felt frustrated like a child and soon she just gave up putting the cup and jug back. She so badly wanted to get up but no matter how hard she tried her legs just wouldn't budge causing her to cry.

She felt helpless lying in the bed knowing that the rest of her life would change and never be the same. She was dozing when Marcus came back the next day and frowned when he saw that Jade had been crying. He knew it would be hard for her, but he didn't want to see her crying.

"Hey." He whispered as he took a seat next to her and she smiled a shy smile at him and looked to the water.

"Can I have some water? I tried, but I didn't know how." She said in a defeated voice and Marcus frowned knowing that he needed to inform a doctor of this.

"Here." He poured her a glass and Jade watched intently on how he did it so she could do it later if he wasn't around.

"How are you feeling?" Jade shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't sure how she felt. She was angry, upset, sore, confused, and wanted nothing more than to go pee. Marcus didn't push her any further as he started to talk about random things until the doctor came and frowned when Jade recounted the story of not being able to pour a glass of water.

"We will have to run some extra test. I'll get the nurse to come and take out your catheter, the iv drip will stay in because you are not ready to be off the morphine." Jade nodded as the doctor left and she could slowly feel sleep catching up with her.

"Go to sleep Jade," Marcus whispered brushing back some hair off her face. She nodded and soon she was drifting off again.

The next few days were the same. Jade would wake in the early hours of the morning in a cold sweat and stay in an underwater state for god knows how long before she could come out of it moments before Marcus came. The other day they let her get out of bed and shower and she was ashamed when the nurse had to wash her and move her because she couldn't do it herself.

"The nurse said you can go for a walk outside," Marcus said like he did every day and Jade just shook her head. Sitting in a wheelchair was depressing, she couldn't move and felt helpless because she couldn't even roll herself because of fractures and burns on her arms.

"Jade, you have to leave sometime." She shook her head and she could feel Marcus sigh. He just wanted her to leave this depressing room, but all she wanted to do was lie on the bed.

"I don't want to leave. It's not like I can do much, anyway." Jade shrugged her shoulders and looked away from Marcus. They did some test which she failed epically at and now had to go to occupational therapy to relearn basic human task like picking up a fork or pouring a drink. However, the more she went the more she realised she couldn't do. Each time she finished a session she felt more frustrated with herself and ended up crying herself to sleep after every session.

The doctor said it was a side effect of the bleeding on the brain and hopefully in time the effects of the brain damage will be nonexistence, but until then she had to deal with relying on people to do everything for her.

"Jade," Marcus said in a defeated voice, but before he could say anymore, the doctor came into the room.

"How are you feeling today Jade?" She said nothing as the doctor checked her vitals and examined her charts.

"Well, looking at the way you are doing you will be released from here soon. However, you will have to come back 4 times a week for OT." Jade wasn't listening. She had one session for her legs and after 5 minutes she was angry and if she could she would have stormed out, but unfortunately, she had lost that luxury. Working with the OT for her legs and mind were just as bad as each other and she hated every moment of it.

"We need to talk about your living arrangement." Jade looked towards the doctor for the first time and saw him scribbling vigorously on his piece of paper.

"What about my living arrangements?" The doctor sighed. Jade was a strong woman, and he knew she would not like what he was about to say.

"Jade, you need to be living with someone. I mean this is the nicest way, but there is still so much that you cannot do on your own. You are going to need to be living with someone to help you do daily activities until you can do them yourself." Everyone in the room saw Jade's face turn sour as the doctor talk and before they knew it they had a very pissed off woman on their hands.

"No. I am not fucking living with someone. I can live by myself, I am capable of doing things myself. I refuse to live with anyone. I am not a fucking cripple." The doctor sighed knowing what a stubborn woman Jade was, and that she was in denial.

"Jade I think it's for the best. We can set you up with a carer who will come in cook, clean and take you to different places." The moment Jade heard the word carer she was beyond mad.

"I am not having a fucking carer. I can look after my own fucking self. I don't need some fucking random in my house cooking and cleaning shit for me. I can do it myself." The doctor knew it was a lost cause but wrote a side note that she would call for a carer because he knew there was no way Jade could care for herself in her condition for a while.

"Jade," Marcus breathed, but the look she gave told him to keep his mouth shut.

"No." Was all she said, and she wished she could just get out of this bed and walk out the fucking room.

"Okay, then Jade, we will do it your way." The doctor left after that and Jade suddenly felt exhausted.

"I'm going for a nap." She said to no one in particular and closed her eyes and went to sleep.

She could smell smoke, but her ears were ringing and she couldn't hear what was going on around her. She felt fire along her back and she wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Everything was dark and smoky, but she could see a speck of blue which looked so pretty amongst all the grey. Everything hurt, but at the same time, she could feel nothing. She could hear what sounded like faint shouting in the distance, but it was hard to tell. Soon there was someone near her, she tried to reach for her gun, but nothing would move. A dark shadow was leaning over her and soon she was screaming out in pain as this person started to drag her back before lifting her up over their shoulder.

She woke with a gasp and Marcus was over her quickly.

"Jade." He gently whispered as she tried to catch her breath.

"Something bad happened. Something went wrong." She said in short breaths as she tried to catch her breath back. Marcus said nothing because as much as he wanted to tell her, he couldn't. She had to remember for herself.

"Relax Jade try not to think about it too much." She nodded her head and soon she drifted off back to sleep.

A few weeks had passed and soon Jade found herself sitting in the wheelchair as her family surrounded her.

"So Jade here is a list of contact numbers and if anything feels wrong, please ring us or come back straight away." The nurse said as she handed Jade a folder of papers.

"Ready to go home?" Marcus asked as he pushed her towards the front of the hospital. The truth was it scared Jade, she didn't know what would happen when she left the hospital. She had slowly been remembering, but it came back to her in short visions when she was asleep and most of the time she couldn't remember.

"I can push myself." She said, but Marcus gave her a look. The truth was, she still couldn't push herself, her arms were weak, and she remembered when she tried and got nowhere.

"Okay, we are set to go." Her father said smiling glad that his baby girl was finally leaving this place. Marcus pushed Jade outside and the first thing she was hit with was the natural light. She had to squint her eyes as she wasn't used to it, having been stuck in a room full of artificial light for the last few months.

There was a slight wind on her face and she smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks.

"Feels nice doesn't it." Marcus leant over and whispered in her ear and she smiled. They filled the car ride home with chatter by her dad and Marcus. Her brother would have between here, but he had to work, but promised he would visit in the next few days.

When they arrived at her apartment, her father got her wheelchair out while Marcus picked her up because she didn't have enough strength to do it herself yet. As they rolled her in Jade wanted to curse when she saw that yet again the elevator wasn't fixed.

"Okay will carry Jade up if you grab her wheelchair." Jade wanted to protest, but there was no other choice. So Jade sat his Marcus warm large arms as he carried her up 3 flights of stairs. Once they reached her apartment Marcus still wouldn't let her go.

"Marcus you can put me down now." She didn't like that fact that he was carrying her it made her feel weak and useless which is what the stupid wheelchair symbolised, her weakness.

"I like you in my arms." Jade rolled her eyes and Marcus finally set her back into the offending chair once they were inside her apartment. She rolled herself into the apartment with what little strength she had and saw that it hasn't changed since she left. Everything was still where it was. She rolled herself into the kitchen and she could feel her father and Marcus watching her. She soon realised the bench was too high and cooking would be difficult.

"Jade I really think you should have a carer." Her father finally said breaking the silence and Jade rolled back out into the lounge room suddenly feeling exhausted.

"I don't need a carer I will be fine." She said as she struggled to stay awake.

"That's for helping me, but I'm tired." Her father and Marcus took that as their cue to leave, but Marcus lingered around for a little.

"Sure you don't want me to stay." He asked, and she shook her head wanting nothing more than to sleep maybe for the rest of her life.

"Okay well just call me if you need anything." She again nodded and watched as he left closing the door behind him. Once they were goneshe was overcome with sadness. Looking around she didn't realise how much would change. She wheeled herself over to her bedroom and just looked at the bed.

She didn't know how she would get into bed. She tried to lift herself but failed. She felt tears of frustration run down her face as she tried repeatedly. She slammed her hands into her chair and she wanted nothing more the throw something, but there was nothing near her.

She sobbed into her hands at what her life would now be. Always having to rely on someone to do something for her. She could never go back to work, she could never go gym anymore, she couldn't even go to the fucking shops or have a shower by herself, but most of all she could never walk again.

She tried to get onto her bed one last time and soon found herself flat on the floor. She tried to drag herself up, but she had no body strength, everything hurt. So she just sat her face down on the floor crying.

Marcus didn't go back to his apartment, but he waited outside. He knew Jade would need his help, but she was too stubborn and thought she could do it by herself. He waited 10 minutes before he used the spare key to go into her apartment, to check up on her. When he entered, he heard sobbing, and he sighed as he entered her bedroom.

What he saw broke his heart, Jade was lying on the floor crying trying to pull herself up onto the bed. He saw the chair knocked over and he felt his heart shatter at his strong woman so broken and sad.

"Hey, hey, let me help." Marcus rushed over and helped pick up Jade and put her into bed like a small child.

"I don't want to do this." She sobbed into his chest and he sat there stroking her back trying to get her to calm down. She felt broken both physically and mentally and she just didn't want to live like this.