The day was gloomy as dark clouds hung low in the sky, waiting to share it sorrows with the weeping men and women that were on the ground below. They all stood tall and stoned faced dressed in their perfect neatly pressed uniforms trying to keep their own emotions at bay. The sorrows of crying women and families were the only other sound aside from the priest reading out prayers of safe passage into the kingdom of heaven.

The priest closed his bible and nodded towards the solider dressed in his ceremonial uniform holding his flugelhorn. Silence was the only sound that could be heard as the last post started to play as family members walked towards the coffin that was being lowered into the ground as they could say their final goodbye.

Marcus watched as a mother wept for losing her son as her husband tried to comfort her. His heart ached for the family and the young life that was taken from them all too soon. He didn't know how long he stood there until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Marcus it's time to leave." He looked towards his brother and nodded his head as he slowly made his way to the grieving family and he felt an ache in his heart.

"Mr and Mrs Taylor I'm sorry for your loss." He grabbed the women's hands knowing if Jade was here she would do this job, but she wasn't. Thinking about Jade made him feel sick and caused his chest to become tight so he gently pushed her aside and focused on the woman before him.

"He was so young." She all but cried and Marcus knew Corporal Tylor was no older than they were with his whole life and future planned out before him.

"His sacrifice was not one in vain." When Taylor's mother started to cry again Marcus knew this was his time to leave, so he nodded politely and took his leave.

Both the brothers said nothing as they got back into their car and drove back to their apartment. It was never easy losing a brother in arms whether you were best friends with them or only knew them in passing.

When they arrived back at their apartment, the rain had emphasised the gloomy day. Marco went to pour himself a drink while Marcus took off his clothes and took a shower wanting to get this horrible day over with. Standing under the hot shower he felt his heart sink wishing that he escaped with more than a few cuts and bruises because he would do anything to go back in time and stop the events that happened or even swap places.

He felt his heart constrict and his breathing picked up as his vision became blurry as a panic attack came over him so quickly he didn't have time to prepare. He stepped out the shower blindly and stumbled into his room with a towel around his waist clutching his chest in pain. He sat down on the edge of the bed trying to take deep breaths before he passed out. Once the panic had passed, he felt tears run down his face.

He sat there crying, something he hadn't done in a while. Tears ran down his face as he covered his mouth with his hand to keep the silent sobs contained. God, the pain that was eating away inside of him was worse than the bullet he had taken. That wound would heal, but this wound, inside his heart, would never go away and the aching that would make any grown man cripple in pain was constant every single day. It was the first thing he woke up to and the last thing he felt as he went to bed wishing that when he woke in the morning, it would all be a bad dream. However, each morning he woke to the same familiar aching pain that wasn't getting better, but worse as each day blended into the next.

He heard a knock at the door, but he was so surrounded by his pain he didn't hear as his brother came in.

"Marcus it will be okay." His brother whispered as if talking to a child. He wasn't the same after the tour. They had only been back for a week and his brother was becoming an unrecognisable version of himself. He tried to hide it, but Marco could see through him, losing Jade had destroyed his brother and he wasn't sure if he would ever be the same.

"Why don't you go see her?" Marcus said nothing so Marco took his leave. Marcus sat on his bed for another 10 minutes before he got up and got dressed. He didn't say anything to his brother as he left their apartment grabbing the keys on the way out.

He drove for almost an hour before parking the car and getting out. He walked towards a place that had become so familiar in the last week that the staff knew him by name. As he walked through the main doors, he followed the path towards the back where he was greeted with a warm smile. Nodding his head, he made his way down the end of the hall and stopped in front of a closed door.

Each time he came he wished for one thing, but every time the door opened he saw the same thing. He gently pushed open the door, glad no one else was here as he took a seat next to the bed that homed the woman he loved.

"Hey, Jade." He whispered gently running a finger down the side of her cold face. She was so still, as machines pumped to keep her alive every day. Every day he wished to walk through those doors and see Jade awake, but there still wasn't any improvement.

She looked so small in the white bed. They covered most of her body in bandages that in the next few weeks would come off, as her body healed itself. He had heard what the doctors said, it wasn't good, and she was lucky to be alive even if the medical machines were keeping her alive.

Marcus looked away from Jade as a nurse came in and checked her vitals and he asked the same question he did every day.

"How is she?" And he got the same response.

"Nothing has changed." The nurse left with that as he slumped over in the chair. He knew when Jade woke up it would be hard. The explosion caused severe nerve damage to her legs, and the impact caused several breaks and shattered bones which were put back together with pins.

She had severe bleeding on the brain and the doctor didn't know what state her mind would be in until she woke up. The doctors told him that she went into cardiac arrest 3 times during surgery and they lost her for a few minutes which has resulted in some brain damage.

He remembered when he heard all this he broke down. His strong women who sacrificed everything to save them all was so damaged and broken even medical staff were surprised that she has survived this long.

Marcus smiled towards her knowing she was a strong woman, but he wished every day that she would wake up and he could see her beautiful hazel eyes.

"The funeral was today." He started as he told Jade about his day like he did every day and by the time he was done, there was another knock at the door.

He watched as Jade's father came into the room with a solemn look on his face as he took the seat on the other side.

"Any news." He asked and Marcus shook his head and he watched as Mark aged a few years at those words.

"She is a strong woman; we just have to give her time," Marcus said sadly as each day was another step closer to losing Jade if she didn't wake up or start breathing on her own soon they would have to pull the life support.

He didn't enjoy talking about the tour, but when he met her family and they wanted to know why there loved one was in the hospital he had no choice, but to tell them about how brave she was and how she willing to give up her own life to save everyone else.

He watched as her father and brother cried and Marcus felt helpless as there was nothing he could do.

"God, I just want her to wake up already. I just got to reconnect with her again and I don't want to lose her." Marcus understood where Mark was coming from and though he royally fucked up with Jade, he just wanted her to be awake.

"They are taking her in for another brain scan tomorrow and hoping she can finally breathe on her own in the next week." They both looked towards her hoping to see some sign that she could hear them, but they got no response.

Marcus and Jade's father sat there talking for a few hours before he got up.

"Marcus I grabbing some coffee from across the road, want one?" He shook his head but knew he would buy one for him, anyway.

Once Jade's father left Marcus moved closer towards the bed and grabbed her cold pale hands into his own warm ones.

"Jade I need you to wake up for me beautiful. I know I fucked up, but I just need you awake I don't care if you don't want me anywhere near you, but please wake up because I need you to know that I love you." He kissed her hand as tears ran down his face. To see Jade like this was killing him. Each day he felt a piece of his heart break and disappear knowing that if he tried harder or got to her sooner than all of this could have been avoided and Jade would be alive healthy and happy, not stuck in this limbo.

He waited for a sign that she could hear him, but when nothing happened, he sat back into his chair slumped over and put his head into his hands.

Another few months passed and like every day Marcus went to visit Jade and normally stay with her all day. Her family would come and go as they still had to go on with their lives, but everything he did was revolved around Jade.

She was finally breathing on her own, but they almost lost her and had to restart her heart when she couldn't breathe after they took the machine off her. She was looking a lot better. Though she was still deathly, pale they had removed some of her bandages and you could see the effects of the skin grafts.

"Hey, Jade." He said as he walked into the room. It had been almost 3 months, and it was taking a toll on him every day Jade was still in a coma. His friends tried to get him out of the house, but nothing they could do or say would work. Each day he woke up maybe did some shopping before coming straight to the hospital to be with Jade.

Jade's family visited less as they had work and their lives to live, but Marcus kept them up to date with everything that was going on which wasn't much. Jade was looking a little better since they removed the machine to help her breath, but she still looked so pale and fragile in the large bed.

Marcus gently grabbed her hand praying to whatever god that was up there to bring Jade back to him. His eyes were closed when he felt it. For a second he thought he was dreaming, but when he felt the twitch again, he bolted up straight and looked at Jade.

"Jade, can you hear me?" He didn't get any response and thought it had all been a dream when he felt her hand twitch again. He didn't know what to feel shock, relief as he called in for a nurse praying that she was finally starting to wake up.

"I felt her hand twitch." He said as the nurse examined Jade's chart. Marcus was waiting for a reply from the nurse, but she said nothing as she left and went to get the doctor. It would have been another 10 minutes before the doctor came in and Marcus felt like his heart was about to beat its way out of his chest. He felt anxious and nervous and wanted someone to tell him something.

He stood patiently to the side as the doctor examined Jade. He was trying hard not to pace as he waited for what seemed like years but was only minutes.

"So what's going on?" He finally asked when he couldn't take it anymore.

"Well, it's hard to tell, we just have to monitor her. Her twitching may be a sign that her body is finally starting to respond, but doesn't mean she will wake up soon. This is good news it means her brain knows of what is going on." The doctor gave him a warm smile and for the first time in months Marcus saw hope. Hope that Jade would be fine and that she would soon be awake.

***

It was dark, but she knew that someone was with her. She felt pressure in her hand which she found odd. She could hear muffled sounds like she was underwater which again she found strange. She tried to move, but her body felt heavy. She tried to remember the last thing she could, but again it hurt to think and her head felt heavy like someone had filled it with led.

She tried to open her eyes, but they were glued shut. Her mouth felt dry as if she hadn't had water for years and she felt so tired like she hadn't had a good night's sleep for a while. She felt the warm hand gentle squeeze hers and she wished she could open her eyes to see who it was, but she drifted into the darkness instead.

***

She did not understand what time it was, but she could hear voices muffling about brain and scans before what sounded like crying maybe, then she felt the warm hand again. There were more muffled noises before the heavy blanket of darkness came over her again.

***

It felt different this time. When her mind came to, it felt a lot clearer and her head didn't feel as heavy. The warm hand as back again and this time when she willed her hand to move it did.

"Jade." She heard her name in a raspy male voice, but she couldn't quite place where she had heard it before. She tried to speak, but she couldn't. When the hand squeezed her tightly again she tried to open her eyes. At first, they wouldn't move, but when she tried again bright light blinded her.

"Nurse." The masculine voice yelled, and she groaned as her head started pounding.

"Jade, open your eyes again for me beautiful." She frowned, she wanted to, but it was so bright in the room. She tried to talk, but her mouth was so dry all she could do was groan.

"Take it easy." Another much for softer voice said as she felt much smaller hands touching her wrist.

"Jade can you open your eyes again for me, please." She didn't want to as it hurt her head, but she was curious to know who was still holding her hand.

The moment she opened her eyes her head hurt as a blinding pain went straight to the front of her head. Everything was blurry, but after a while, everything started to clear up and she could finally see she was in a stark white room.

"That's good Jade." She looks towards where she saw a woman in a blue uniform and was confused about where she was.

"Jade." Another voice said, and she looked towards where a very handsome man sat with tears in his eyes.

She frowned because his face seemed so familiar like it was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't remember for the life of her where she had seen him before.

"Jade, you are in hospital, do you know why you are in the hospital?" She opened her mouth to talk, but all that came out was a croaking sound. She saw the nurse pour her a small cup of water and told her to drink it slowly.

The cool water easily slid down her throat and she all but sighed as it did. She was so focused on the water she forgot about the question the lady asked.

"No, did something happen?" Her speech was slurred like she was drunk and she frowned wondering what the hell was going.

"That's normal, not to remember. Over time, your memory will come back. Do you know the man next to you?" Jade shook her head as it hurt to talk and she felt the man's hand grip hers tightly.

"That's also normal." She felt her eyes droop even though she just woke up and soon she fell back asleep still very confused by what was going on.