Light blinded Jade when she woke up the next morning. Groaning she rolled over only to encounter another body.

"What the fuck?" She yelled and sat up causing her head to spin as the thing next to her started moving.

"What the hell Jade?" Jade looked over to see Rebecca rubbing her head. She banged her head against the wall cursing her stupid drunken state that she forgot it was her best friend in bed and not a random.

"Ugh, I feel like shit. I'm getting too old for this shit." She said placing her head between her knees as she tried not to throw up the contents of alcohol in her stomach.

"Old. You're hardly old babe." Waving her hand, she felt the bed dip, and she lifted her head to see her world had stopped spinning and she didn't feel the need to rush to the bathroom and say hello to the lovely pristine toilet bowl.

"You want to make some breakfast with me?" Rebecca asked as Jade swung her legs off the bed.

"Yea." Both women went into the kitchen and made breakfast quietly while they waited for the coffee to brew and wake them up.

"So, the hottie next door?" Rebecca asked when Jade started cooking and they both felt alive after a few sips of coffee. She groaned wishing that part of the night had been a dream.

"Not much to say." Rebecca placed her hands on her hips giving Jade the look she always gave her when the talk was coming.

"I may have been drunk, but I wasn't blind." Jade sighed as she started to dish up breakfast.

"I don't know, we're not together, but not quite friends. It's complicated." Jade set the plates on the table and both the women sat down.

"You like him." Jade shrugged her shoulder.

"Sexually I am, but emotionally everything is so confusing. Part of me is saying go right for it, but the other part is more guarded scared of rejection." Rebecca could understand considering what happened with Garrett and your brother and father.

"You can't live in fear of rejection Jade. You have always feared rejection, so you strive to please everyone." Sighing, Jade knew this was true. When she was younger, she did everything to please her mother and father, but that was never enough.

"Not as easy as it sounds." Jade sighed, and her friend laughed.

"It really is. Just walk up to him and fuck him until it is out your system." Jade took the chance to laugh wishing it was that easy.

"Whatever, I got other things like my recovery to think about." Rebecca knew very little about what happened other than Jade almost died.

"How is that going by the way?" Jade didn't go into much detail, just told her basically what she was doing both physically and mentally. Rebecca was happy her friend was making progress and finally getting the help that she needed.

After both the ladies finished breakfast, they cleaned up and chilled out on the lounge talking about everything and nothing at the same time. When lunch came around both the women were too lazy to cook so they decided to go out. As they were leaving both, the brothers came out of their apartment at the same time with the idea to get food.

"Jade." Both women looked to their right and Rebecca didn't realise there were two sexy men living next to her best friend.

"Hey, Marco, are you heading out?" Jade asked out of politeness as she tried to keep her gaze from looking over to Marcus.

"Yeah, we are heading out to lunch, want to join?" Jade was about to say it was okay when her friend answered for them.

"We would love too." Jade wanted to smack her friend across the head for agreeing to such a stupid idea.

"Great, the more the merry." Marco all but skipped towards the stairs as once again the stupid elevator was out of service. Rebecca followed him leaving Marcus and Jade to walk together.

They started down the stairs in silent before Marcus couldn't help himself.

"So, you think I am sexy and want me to tie you up and ravish your body?" He said smugly, and Jade groaned the goading tone of his voice. Jade hardly ever got embarrassed, but her face started to heat up as a dark red started to make its way up her neck to her cheeks.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Jade denied as they passed the third floor. Jade squealed when Marcus quickly descended upon her pushing her up against the wall with his body pressed against hers.

She quickly gasped as Marcus leaned in so close that his lips brushed against her ear causing her to shiver in suspense. She could feel every inch of his hard body pressing against her and as much as she wanted to say she didn't like it, she did.

She felt his breath gently along her neck, as Jade tilted her head ever so slightly to the side giving him all the access he wanted. Her breathing started coming out in short pants as Marcus pushed her into the wall some more with his body. Jade felt her body reacting to his and if he took her on this wall, at this very moment, she would let him.

The desire was thick in the air it was almost suffocating. Jade gasped as Marcus gently tugged on her earlobe with his teeth. She wanted to reach out and run her fingers through his soft brown hair but; he pinned her hands to the side with his large body.

"Well, that's a shame." He whispered in her ear before pulling back. It took Jade a second for her brain to function again, as her desire cleared from her mind and she watched Marcus continue down the stairs.

"Hey." She yelled out realising exactly what he was doing as he started walking away whistling. Jade had to chase after him and by the time she caught up he was waiting with their small group.

"What took you so long Jade?" Rebecca asked, and Jade glared towards Marcus's and Rebecca raised her eyebrows giving Jade a smug look.

Jade huffed and pushed past them all and jumped into the waiting taxi annoyed and frustrated with Marcus. Everyone quickly piled in and soon Rebecca was happily chatting with Marco while Jade sulked, squashed between Marcus and Marco.

They didn't go far, just down to a local bar where they got a table, and all took their seats. There was an awkward silence amongst the table before Marco started talking about the most random thing that he could think of.

Jade could feel Marcus watching her, but she tried to ignore him and listen to what Marco was saying. They all ordered food when the waiter came by and Marco and Marcus insisted that they pay.

"So how long have you two known each other?" Marcus spoke for the first time since arriving.

"A while," Jade responded while shrugging her shoulders.

"She never mentioned you when we went away for a few weeks." Jade cringed on the inside as her best friend hit her on the arm.

"You never told me you went away with Marcus." Jade glared at Marcus wishing she could lean across the table and stab him with her fork. As much as the idea was amusing she didn't want to go to jail over stabbing him with a fork of all weapons.

"I needed to get away, so Marcus took me up to the farmhouse their family owns." Jade ignored the look her best friend was giving her and focused her undivided attention on the table and the small carvings that seemed to be indented into the wood. Jade was so focused on the table that she didn't realise that Marcus was talking to her until her friend gave her a shove.

"Sorry, lost in thought." She looked up and was met with Marcus's intense gaze.

"I asked if you wanted to come and grabs drinks with me from the bar." Marcus nodded his head towards the bar and Jade got up and followed him.

"You all right." He asked placing his hand on her arm while the bartender collected their drinks.

"Yeah fine." Jade shook his hand off wondering if the man was bipolar. One minute he was concerned and the next he was arousing sexual tension inside of Jade that she was trying hard to suppress and ignore.

"What is your problem, Marcus? The week away was amazing and we come back, and you become this cocky, arrogant man. I can't tell if you want me sexually or as a partner. You're too confusing." Marcus said nothing because if he did, he would tell Jade how much he wanted her both as a partner and sexually. He wanted to claim her in every way possible in both body and mind. He wanted to worship her the way he craved, but then he would remember what happens when he let people in.

He would remember his best friend who he found hanging from his ceiling because he wasn't there. He would remember his ex who took away his chance of being a father without talking to him about it. Who cheated on him and left him for another man because he wouldn't give up his career for her.

So, when he thought about what he wanted to do with Jade he would remind himself of what happened when he opened his heart to others and decided it was best to keep his distance from Jade, so he could protect himself.

Marcus realised when he got back to Sydney, that Jade had slowly crept her way into his heart. It made him nervous and scared because he was sick of seeing the ones he loved either die or leave him because of who he was. So, he decided the best way to keep himself and his heart safe would be to keep Jade at a distance. That way he could keep an eye on her but have her far enough away that she couldn't risk hurting him.

However, it was harder than he thought because he craved Jade like a drug. He wanted to be around her all the time to excite her both sexually and emotionally, but he knew he could never 100% be what Jade needed.

Jade walked back to the table with no drinks leaving Marcus to think by himself. When Jade got back to her table Rebecca gave her a confused look, but before she could ask questions her phone rang. Using any excuse to leave Jade left and walked outside and answered her phone without looking at the caller id.

"Hello." She answered once she was outside as people brushed past her as they continued with their busy lives.

"Jade." The deep voice said on the other end and Jade groaned wishing she had looked at who the caller id was before picking up.

"What do you want Garret?" She knew her mother had given the prick her number meaning she would have to get a new number again.

"I miss you." He whispered on the other end. There was a part of Jade that despite everything he did still loved him. He was the first person she had ever loved and though she wanted to bash his teeth in there would always be a small, small part of her that will love him.

"Whatever. I will hang up if you don't tell me why you rang me." Jade tapped her foot against the pavement wondering why her life couldn't be easy.

"I was hoping we could talk." Jade sighed wondering if her mother put him up to this.

"I'm out, and why should I after everything. My mother probably told you to ring me." She heard Garret sigh and she could imagine him rubbing his temples while tapping his fingers against their kitchen counter.

"Your mother didn't ring me. I just really want to talk to you. I miss you Jade and I just-"He became stumped on his words and Jade closed her eyes wishing she never picked up because she could feel her heart breaking again because she never really dealt with it.

"Look I can come to pick you up and we can talk at my place. I mean our old place." Against her better judgement she agreed because the truth was she needed closure, she needed to deal with him for her to move on. It was something Jade had put off for months because she wasn't emotionally ready, but with everything going on in her life she realised she needed to confront Garret. For herself and no one else.

Jade waited until Garret said he was around 5 minutes away before she texted Rebecca telling her that Garret would pick her up, so they could talk. Not long after she sent the message her phone started to ring, and Jade ignored it as a familiar car pulled up to the curb. As Jade got into the car Rebecca and Marcus came out, and neither of them looked happy.

"I'll see you later," Jade told them both before shutting the door. Garret didn't say anything as they pulled away. As he drove, she looked at him getting a good look at the man who broke her heart.

He looked the same as the man she fell in love with all those years ago. That same jawline she would spend hours running her fingers along as the slight stubble prickled her fingers. The same green eyes that showed her so much love and attention. She sighed quietly to herself as they pulled up to the neighbour she lived in for 5 years and the same house that held so many memories both good and bad.

Jade wasn't used to the quiet man that got out the car, he was normally confident and always had something to talk about. Jade got out and stood in front of the house they bought together, the place where they made plans for the future and the place where those dreams and plans went up in flames.

"You can come in." He spoke for the first time and Jade went inside and was surprised to see nothing had changed. The photo above the tv was still slightly tilted and the couch still sitting at the same angle when they moved it all those years ago.

"I haven't had the heart to change it." He shrugged and gestured for Jade to sit which she did. She couldn't help but wonder if he fucked his whores on this same couch they made love on the very first night they moved in.

"So, you wanted to talk." She said ringing her fingers together feeling very out of place in a place she used to call home.

"I did." He said after clearing his throat and Jade was wishing she never came.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry." Jade looked up from her fingers to see Garret looking at her the same way he used to. She sighed loudly, and she crossed her arms and waited for him to continue whatever excuses he had made up.

"I am so fucking sorry Jade. I don't know what happened. I promised I would always be faithful, and I broke that promise and I can never forgive myself for it." Jade wanted to look away, but it was impossible when the only man she ever loved was apologising.

"I am so sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness Jade and I will spend the rest of my life living with that shame and disgust for what I did. I still love you, Jade, I always have, and I always will. I know what I did was unforgivable, but I want us to be us again. I miss you so much baby girl." Jade felt her heart-breaking bit my bit as she tried to keep everything inside of her all the pain, betrayal and love.

"I miss waking up to you every morning, I miss the way you would hum to yourself whenever you cooked. I miss having you around. I miss your beautiful smile, but I mostly miss being able to talk to you about anything and everything." Jade felt a single tear run down her face that Garret wiped away from her like old times. She tried to move away from him, but he came closer and grabbed her hands.

God, there was a time that she dreamed of this day and she knew what she would do. She would yell at him maybe even hit him. Tell him what she really thought of him and leave. However, dreaming and reality were two different things. This wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. He was opening old wounds that never healed and she felt truly broken.

Broken because she wanted to be stronger. Broken because she thought it would be easy to hate him forever, but it wasn't easy.

Her heart ached for the man that was sitting in front of her, and for what he used to represent for her. Her first choice that wasn't her mothers. Her first step towards her own freedom away from her mother. Her first real relationship her mother didn't dedicate.

She didn't want to admit it, but she missed him. She missed the feeling of being someone's whole universe; she missed having someone to care for her. She didn't miss Garret as a person because he was an ass, but she missed what he provided for her. A stable home and relationship, something Jade never had growing up.

She knew she couldn't get back together with him. There would always be that seed of doubt of would he cheat again, was he on drugs again? It would always be there no matter how hard they tried or how much he promised. That doubt would never go away, and she would always have to live with that feeling of what if?

"I can't." She whispered out trying not to cry because her heart was aching for the man that she once loved and what she was giving up by saying no. The stable home, which used to be a stable relationship.

"You can't what. We can take it slow Jade these no need to rush when we have our whole lives together. I want to marry you and watch as our children grow inside of you. I want to grow old and watch our children and grandchildren grow." Jade couldn't help the tears that were streaming down her face because she wanted that, she wanted it all, but she couldn't have it not with Garret.

"I can't Garret you broke my heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces. I gave you everything and you repay me by sleeping with other women, sniffing fucking cocaine up your nostrils with my hard-earned money because we both know you never made much. So, I can't. I'm sorry." She sobbed and through her tears, she could see a change in Garret, one she had never seen before.

"I promise it was only a phase you would be home with me all the time. We can work on it." Jade shook her head and let out a sad chuckle.

"What happens when I go away again Garret. What happens if you fall back into old habits? I can't have my heart broken all over again. I can't live like that." Garret frowned before his whole demeanour changed.

"Go away, as in overseas. You wouldn't be going back you would stay home with me and raise our children." Jade wiped her eyes and shook her head and looked at him like he had grown another head.

"I wouldn't leave my job to sit around and be a housewife you know me. It's not only that Garret, but I don't think I can ever look past the fact that you slept with multiple women for god knows how many years I can't forgive or forget that. As much as I want what you are promising I can't." She stood up to leave because every second she stayed here the more she felt her heart-shattering. Her dream that she once had of a stable family who loved her and didn't want to change her into something she wasn't, was shattering. As she went to leave Garret grabbed her arm tightly causing her to wince in pain.

"Garret let me go." She tugged at her arm as he pulled her into him and slammed his lips against hers. Jade struggled at first, she tried kicking him, but he would move. So, she knew the only way to leave was to give Garret what he wanted. Kissing him felt so familiar and wrong at the same time. There were no sparks of desire, no arousal rolling through her like waves, there was nothing. She tried not to vomit as the same lips that were kissing her also kissed many other women

She tried to push him away, but he just pulled her in tighter. Having no other choice, she stomped on his foot as hard as she could as he finally broke away.

"No Garret." She said pushing him away.

"This is what it could be again Jade." He said snaking his arm around her waist pulling her close. She tried to struggle, but between the tears and his warm words, she was struggling to fight because her mind was a mess