《What The Heart Craves》Chapter 22 - Part 1
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A few hours later, I woke up. I'd fallen asleep with my head beside Lacey's hand. My neck was stiff, and I rubbed it with my hand. It was early morning. Link slept in the chair across from me. Lacey was still unconscious.
Dr. Clark came to check up on her. I watched him as he checked through her chart.
He looked up from the chart.
"What's the worst that can happen?" I needed to know what the worst-case scenario was.
"She is not out of the woods yet. She could stop breathing or her heart could stop," He held my panicked gaze.
"But surely you can bring her back from that?" I asked incredulously. I wasn't a doctor, but there were ways for them to get her heart going again.
He studied me for a moment. "She signed a DNR." I frowned. I did not know what that was. "It means that if she stops breathing or her heart stops, we can't do anything to bring her back."
My heart skipped a beat, and I felt like it had shaken my world. "Why?"
"Every patient has their own reasons for deciding," he said, but it gave no insight to why my Lacey had done that.
"If all goes well, she'll wake up." He closed the chart.
"Is there a chance she won't wake up?" I asked, needing to know the answer.
"Yes." He nodded, and I felt like it had given us another hurdle that we needed to overcome.
When he left, I tried to wrestle with his words. She had to wake up. My eyes went to her and leaned closer. My fingers wrapped around her hand as I held.
"Harp," I whispered. She didn't respond. "Wake up. I need you to wake up for me, Harp."
I wasn't sure if she could actually hear me, but I needed to say the words out aloud. "Harp, I don't want to do this without you."
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When I thought about her dying, I felt a pain in my chest like my heart was being ripped into two. For as long as I could remember, she'd been a part of my life. From the small girl with pigtails that had followed Alex and I around, to the awkward teenager who'd looked at me differently, to the young woman who owned my heart.
I stared at her peaceful face for a few seconds, wishing she would wake up, but she didn't. I still couldn't believe she'd signed a DNR, and I felt a little betrayed. Understanding why she'd done it escaped me.
"This has to be the most uncomfortable chair on the planet," Link said as he woke up and sat up in the chair he'd slept in. "I wonder if we can order some beds."
I shook my head at him, unable to stop the slight smile.
"Has the doc been past?" he asked.
"Yes. They're waiting for her to wake up," I told him. Feeling the anxiousness set in again.
There were a few moments of silence.
"What if she doesn't?" he asked.
I didn't want to answer his question. That couldn't be an option. She had to wake up.
For the next few days, every minute felt like an hour. Time dragged on and my fear that she wouldn't wake up grew with every passing moment. While I lay holding her hand, I watched her chest rise and fall with each breath, hoping it wouldn't be her last.
I never mentioned the DNR to her family. I just hoped it wouldn't be necessary and they would be better off not knowing. A part of me wished I hadn't found out about it. I pushed it to the back of my mind, refusing to think about the reason she would have felt the need to put that in place before her surgery.
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The only time I left the hospital was to shower and change. I didn't like to be away from her, so I made sure I was quick. The fear that she'd stopped breathing kept me in a continuous, fearful state. I slept in the chair beside her hospital bed. The nurses gave me some extra pillows.
The press had found out where I was, so the front of the hospital was a circus with fans. A few had even snuck into the hospital, but before they had reached Lacey's room we had discovered them. I called a bodyguard service we used regularly and got some bodyguards which were posted outside her room. They had strict instructions not to allow anyone who wasn't on the list of approved people.
I'd always love what I did and usually I reveled in the attention, but not this time. This time I hated the invasion into my privacy. It had been my choice to become a public figure, but Lacey hadn't. I hated they were trying to get pictures of her while she lay helpless as she recovered.
The protective instinct in me kicked in with her. I wouldn't allow them to plaster pictures of her all over the news. Luckily, they only suspected she was a childhood friend. A couple of articles had suspected she mean more, but with no confirmation those stories had fizzled out.
I used a back entrance to get away from the hospital when I needed to. The crowed of fans was too much to deal with in my exhausted state. I was getting some sleep, but not enough.
Exactly a week after the surgery, I was sitting beside the bed. Aiden sat beside her on the opposite side. It was silent as I stared at her. She was beautiful, and I memorized every fine feature with my eyes while I held her hand in mine. Everyone else had gone home to change and rest. They'd be back in a few hours.
With each day that had passed we'd become more despondent and the reality was she might not wake up. It was hard for everyone. We all loved her and wanted her back, but there was nothing we could do but hope and pray.
Her fingers moved slightly in my hand and I looked in shock as her eyes fluttered slightly.
"She is waking up," I whispered to Aiden, not quite believing it, and for a moment I wondered if I was hallucinating from lack of sleep. He leaned closer in anticipation. When she did it again, he dashed out of the room to look for the nurses.
Relief flooded through me. Excitement made me clasp her hand tighter as she moaned softly.
The nurses rushed in. We were told to leave the room so they could check on her. Outside the room we waited for them to finish and a few minutes later they allowed us back in.
"She'll be awake soon," one nurse told us.
Back beside her, I waited in anticipation for her to wake up. Her eyelids lifted and the sight of her beautiful eyes staring into mine made me smile.
"Harp," I said.
She shifted slightly in the bed. "Gray."
My heart lifted from my chest. She remembered me.
Even though she'd woken up, there had still been a fear of damage to her brain that could have affected many things, including her memory.
Aiden leaned closer on the other side. He smiled at her as she turned to look at him. There was something in the way she looked at him that made me prickle with nervousness.
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