My eyes slowly open in the middle of the night. Something lightly wakes my skin and I lift my body. Sliding out of the sheets, I make sure to tiptoe across the carpet so I don't wake Adonis. I wrap myself loosely in the blanket laying at the edge of the bed and walk out of bedroom.

The night air bites the exposed skin on my shoulder as I walk into our garage. Adonis and dad had moved all my things into Adonis's garage, which was easy seeing as how we're only a couple houses down. I look at all the paintings I re-birthed from my episodes. I had painted over the girl in the wallpaper in my dad's garage and painted her on a canvas instead.

I walk over and stand in front of it. My fingers glide over the girl and I grab an empty canvas sitting it right next to her.

It's different this time.

I'm ready.

My eyes travel to the little finger poking through the wallpaper. I smile and touch it. My world falls away and is replaced by the shadowed clouds in my mind. I'm standing on water that's dark and weightless under my feet.

"You're not afraid anymore."

She's behind me, back to back.

"If I'm honest, I am a little, but I'm ready now."

I close my eyes and my fingers touch the canvas and start swirling and diving into the image that's coming to life. I open my eyes and see the smoke billow away replaced by vivid colors. The image shines and waves at me like it's in water.

"It's okay to let me go."

The fear in her voice makes compassion fill up in me like a glass being poured into. I start to sink in the water and look down knowing what needs to be done.

"No, there's no turning back now."

My fingers dip into the cool black liquid.

I'm once again staring in the mirror. She has the same blank expression as last time and her limbs are loose as well. Walking to the mirror I see my little round face and big creamy blues stare at me. She's hollow and lost. Instead of tilting her head and asking why I don't remember her, she just stares with that numb expression. Her eyes dart around taking in her face and she turns around.

There's a massive surgical scar on the back of her head with raw stitches and her curls have been shaved off. I watch as she cracks open the door and peeks around to see my parents talking with the therapist.

There's something else I need to talk with you about." Both my parent's sit down at the woman's request. There's silence as the therapist collects what she's about to say.

"I believe your daughter acquired savant syndrome, which is when a person develops prodigious skills and abilities that exceed the norm from brain damage."

She gives dad the finger-painting and he widens his eyes and mom takes a look next to him. The therapist touches the top of the paper. "She painted this with her fingers, and it took her not even ten minutes."

Mom stares at her in horror. "What does this mean?"

"It means your daughter has unlocked an amazing talent in art, specifically painting. And right after she got done she started talking. I think it's best if you guys have her embrace this, but with caution. She complained of her head hurting, but it could be from the wound."

Mom's face falls and she shakes her head in defiance while ripping the painting out of dad's hands and holding it up to the therapist. "No... no this isn't normal. We brought her to you so she can go back to normal."

"And that's my goal," she says calmly. "But you have to accept the possibility that she may never go back to how she was before. Do you mind if I ask her questions about this? I think if we talk about this painting we may get somewhere."

Dad gives his consent and the woman gets up to leave. Mom leans into Dad whispering venomously, "This is all your fault."

My chest rips open like a raw wound at my mother's words. Dad was obviously suffering from PTSD. It was no one's fault not mine, mom's or dad's. It had been an accident.

The therapist walks back to the room little me is in. I watch her open the door and ask, "Hey, Georgie, is it okay if we talk about this painting?"

"Okay." Comes the shy small voice.

Falling like snow, the soot comes back and I stare at the water rippling around my fingers. I give a small smile and without hesitation plunge my hand in. I reach deep in the ice cold liquid and then I pull her out. All of the missing pieces of my memory come back to me, clicking together like puzzle pieces then playing through my mind like a movie reel on a projection screen.

Me as a child smiling and wearing pretty dresses and tiaras, playing tea with my sister, hugging and playing dress up with dad, and me baking and doing pageants with mom. I'm surrounded by family and friends I had long forgotten but now remember.

Though I've altered, she was always missing, locked away deep inside of me waiting to either be let go or forgotten. I hold her hand and open my eyes.

In front of me is the colorful image that I saw part the thick clouds. It's me as a child smiling painted in watercolor. It's beautiful and simple with soft colors. Gentle eyes stare back at me with a smile I've longed since forgotten.

"You okay, Tater Tot?"

I peek around at my husband who stands in a heap of exhausted handsomeness with his hair mangled and body slumped against the doorway.

Looking, back I give a small peaceful smile. My episodes had never been my enemy. They were trying to help me remember, but I had been too scared. I take a deep breath and the smile I had painted graces my face as I turn around.

"Yeah, I'm... okay."

***

~LivingRed