Another nightmare.

They started coming a few days ago after Alexia arrived. They are getting worse and worse. To the point where I don't want to go to sleep.

- Alma? Another nightmare? he asks, taking me in his arms. Do you want to talk about it?

- I was looking in the mirror in a room. I was wearing a wedding dress that was to die for. As I zipped it up, I realised I had put on weight. A lot of weight. Yuma walked me down the aisle and once I was facing you... .

I pause, trying to regain my composure. The images are still so clear in my mind it's disturbing. My body wrapped tight in a white dress.

- What happened next? my husband asks patiently.

- Your face twisted in disgust. You started to make comments about my looks. The mayor came to ask us if we would take each other as spouses. You said word for word: "I have no intention of ending up with such a huge woman, she'll end up crushing me". The wedding stopped and then you left and I ran away from the rest of the guests.

- That won't happen," Gabrielo says. Whether you're thin, fat, normal or whatever, remember that I love you for who you are. All of you. No matter what. I love you.

- I love you too," I say, resting my head on his chest.

- Now it's time for you to answer my question, isn't it? Why are you so obsessed with your looks?

I remain silent without knowing what to say. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. My whole childhood and adolescence were ruined because of this.

- I-

Knock, knock!

- Come in," said Gabrielo, covering me with the sheets.

- I heard crying coming from here," Yuma announced, poking his head in the doorway. I wanted to know if everything was okay.

- Everything's fine," I replied, my voice cracking.

- You know very well that there's no point in lying to me, Alma. What's the matter? my brother asked, turning to my husband.

- She had a nightmare," he replies.

I feel Yuma's gaze burn the back of my neck.

- If you don't want to tell him, I will," he says, sitting up.

I remain silent, praying that he will come out of the room, but he doesn't. I step out from under the sheets and face my brother who looks me straight in the eye.

- It's not what you think.

- Then what? Yuma challenges me. Don't make me think it's the baby, I'm not stupid. I know you far too well to believe it.

Gabrielo keeps me in his arms without saying anything. He deserves to know. Since he plans to spend the rest of his life with me, he should know. 

- I'll tell him," I said to Yuma. I'm really going to tell him.

Yuma looks at me apprehensively before leaving the room after wishing us a good night. I play with my hands and take a deep breath. Gabrielo stares at me, a soft smile on his face.

- My mother was a prima ballerina when she met my father. She danced for a big company in Russia, where she was born, and she learned everything. I wanted to follow in her footsteps when I was younger. We lived in Russia at the time, I started doing rhythmic gymnastics.

- You were an athlete? Gabrielo exclaims with astonishment.

- You could say that. I trained four hours a day every day of the week. I started to improve until I was training eight to nine hours a day. At some point I started to gain weight. It was mostly around puberty.

"My coach told me to lose three kilos in three days. And that's what I did. I remember having a supply of water bottles in my room and Yuma came to visit me. He asked me if I was eating well and I showed him the bottles.

"That was my breakfast, lunch and dinner. All to be the best. I was told I was too fat and I lost the weight I needed. After that I started freaking out at every meal because I was terrified of gaining weight.

"I continued competing like that until I was 17. My weight was constantly monitored by the coach. An extra 300g is something you can see and feel on a gymnast's body. I had a coach who could see if I gained even 100g. And her superior even more so.

"She was often harsh with her words, so we would do anything to get even one compliment. So we had to give ourselves the means.

"We started to limit my meals. The maximum was an egg for breakfast, a small piece of boiled meat or fish and that was it. I had done my day. We even couldn't drink during training.

- You're joking," Gabrielo exclaims in shock.

- That's the sad reality," I smiled. Everything we had lost would come back with a sip of water so we were deprived of it. I pushed myself to the point of overcoming my limits.

"My body couldn't take it anymore. I had health problems and it was Yuma who realised that the damage wasn't just physical. He got me out of there and taught me how to take care of myself.I love the sport but I could never hurt myself that much again. Not mentally anyway. I'm here because Yuma saved me. I remember I couldn't even walk without being in pain."

He's my other half. Always there for me when I need him.

- So the nightmares...

- It's just my fears coming back because I know I'm going to keep gaining weight with the baby. I'm so happy that we're going to have our baby in a few months. It's just my old demons coming back.

Gabrielo holds me without saying anything. He gives me a kiss on the forehead every now and then and I start to fall asleep.

- Were you going to tell me about it? he asks calmly.

- I don't think so. Everything is fine and it's not like I'm still having problems with eating now. I'm learning to accept myself a little more every day.

He doesn't say anything and we lie back on the bed in each other's arms.

- Gabrielo?

He turns his gaze towards me.

- Are you going back to sleep?

- No, it's already seven o'clock. Why?

- I have something to show you.

- What is it? he asks, frowning as I straddle him.

I take off my nightie to show him the new underwear I bought.

- What do you think?

Gabrielo doesn't take the time to answer me and kisses me. I feel his hand play with the band of my panties and pull on them. He places kisses along my neck and down to my chest. He lifts his head and smiles at me before placing a kiss where my heart is.

- I love you," he breathes as he kisses me again.

This time he moves over me effortlessly and lays me gently on the bed.

_________

- Cordelia! I love you," I exclaimed, taking her in my arms.

If she hadn't knocked on my door to go to lunch, I'd still be in this bed. And I refuse to spend all day in bed and get sore.

- Me too," she laughs, returning my embrace.

- Alma, we can finally go home! Amber writes as she enters the room. The wedding is officially off!

- What happened?

- I have no idea," she replies, shrugging her shoulders. I heard that Mila had left, but no one knows where. She didn't take anything with her either!

- That girl exhausts me," I sighed, getting up.

- Where are you going? Amber asked.

- To check something.

I walk quickly down the corridors before opening Mila's room. Everything is in place. I approach the bed and lift the mattress before finding a paper. This was where we used to hide our letters when we were younger.

Who would have thought she would remember?

I quickly open the letter and read the contents.

There is only one thing, a phone number and a bank card. I close the envelope and put it under my mother-in-law's door. As bad as she is, she is still a mother who worries about her daughter.

This is the last thing I can do for Mila.