I walked into the apartment after my classes from today and found Chloe sitting on the couch, working on her canvas. 

It's been a week since we all spent the night at Reece's apartment. I remember everything I said, I remember crying, I remember falling asleep in his arms. I also remember both of us waking up the next morning and acting like nothing fucking happened. And we continued dancing to the same dance this week. Acting indifferent, and dumb, and confused. And after dancing to the same dance this whole week, I'm exhausted. 

I made sure this past week that I didn't spend the nights at his house. If we had sex, that's all we did. I would leave right after that. And if we were together outside of that or classes, I made sure he didn't drop me home. I would get my own ride, whether that be hailing a cab or walking. 

I closed the door behind me and Chloe shot up to her feet, turning to me. "Indie." 

"Not now, please," I sighed. "I'm really sleepy." 

"Because you didn't sleep last night." 

I sighed again, sitting on the kitchen barstool and putting my head down. She's been trying to convince me to tell Reece how I feel since that night and I've been avoiding it. But she's growing frustrated and she's about to snap at me right now. I can sense. 

"Indie, what the fuck do you think you're doing to yourself?" 

I spun around and looked at her blankly. 

"You're killing yourself!" she scolded. 

I sighed and looked away from her and stared at the front door. 

"Indie," she sighed, walking over to me. "Relationships aren't meant to test your tolerance." 

I refused to look at her. I ran my hand through my hair and blinked, feeling my eyes tearing up. 

"It's been a week since you got drunk and vulnerable in front of him. A week and I still hear you crying every night because you aren't spending the nights at his apartment anymore." 

"So what?!" I snapped, standing up. "It's not about tolerance, I know that! You don't think I know that, Chloe? But if I'm willing to tolerate it then what is your goddamn problem?" 

She watched me silently. 

"Why is it such a problem if I just keep quiet about my feelings and keep going?" 

"Stop it now, Indie. You're only hurting yourself." She stepped closer to me and hugged me. 

I pushed her off, clicking my tongue in frustration. 

"Indie," she said, talking softly now. 

"Why do I have to tell him?" I sniffled, looking at her. 

"How much longer will you let yourself get hurt like this? You always say, 'just a little longer' but don't you think it's been long enough now?" 

I stopped holding it in and cried out once, wiping my cheek as soon as the first tear fell. This whole week, I've been crying little by little in my room at night, trying not to make a sound, trying not to break down. And I can't hold it in anymore. 

She hugged me again and I hugged her back this time, crying on her shoulder for at least twenty minutes. She rubbed my back and once I had calmed down and pulled away, I sniffled, wiped my cheeks, my eyes, my nose. "It's okay, at least you've let it out now." She nodded in understanding, patting my arm. 

I sat back down and she got a water bottle for me. I sighed, tying my hair up in a bun. I drank down the water and then looked up at her. "Thank you, Chlo." 

"It's my job, honey. No worries," she replied, giving me a small, sad smile. "But what are you going to do now, Indie?" 

I thought for a while, gnawing at my bottom lip. I looked at the time and then at the front door. I really can't take it anymore. And it's so much worse because I'm not even mad at Reece. I can't be angry at him just because he doesn't feel how I want him to feel. I have to accept that he doesn't like me in that way, that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, and all he wants from me is sex. 

But I'm drawing the line here. I can't keep going. I can't keep giving him what he wants. I want it too, I like having sex with him. But not at the cost of everything else. I had never cried over a boy before he came into the picture. And I'm tired of crying and keeping it all in. I need to tell him and then leave. The semester ends this Friday anyway. So, I'll tell him and then all I have to do is get through this one week. 

"I feel like I'm giving him an ultimatum, Chlo." I shook my head, taking a breath through my now stuffy nose. 

"Maybe an ultimatum is what he needs, Indie. He can't have the best of both worlds. No matter how hard anybody tries, they're always going to miss out on something. You study business. Opportunity cost, you know?"

I nodded, standing back up. "I know." 

"So, if he wants you, he'll have to commit. It's not fair to you. You already tried giving up what you wanted just to keep him around. It's okay to give up now. But he should at least try before he surrenders like a fucking pussy." 

I smiled looking at her. 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "He's hurt you so much and he doesn't even know it. Someone needs to tell him and it should be you. If he's too much of a coward to accept his feelings, then his loss. There is plenty of other fish in the sea." 

I frowned, staring at my shoes. 

"I know he's your favorite fish and you want him. I know, I know," she groaned. "He's your lobster." 

I rolled my eyes. "Lobsters aren't fish. They're lobsters." 

"He's your Nemo then. I get it, okay? But put yourself first, please. If it's meant to be, it'll be, my darling. Now go tell him." 

"I should go now, right?" 

She nodded, her nose scrunching. 

I grabbed the house keys. "I'll be back." 

"I hope you won't. I hope it works and you both have tons of sex and then stay together forever. But in case it doesn't... I'll be here." 

"Love you, Chlo." 

"Love you too." I pulled the door open and walked out, locking it behind me. I sighed, wiping my clammy palms on my sweatpants while I stepped into the elevator. I descended to the lobby and then walked out of the building, heading to his apartment. I tried not to think about it so that I wouldn't freak out and change my mind. 

Until I got into the elevator of his building. I stepped out when it dinged open and walking to his apartment. I let out a puff of air and then rang the bell. 

"Coming!" I nibbled on my bottom lip and kept shifting my weight from one foot to the other, back and forth until he answered the door. 

He saw me and grinned. "Hey." 

"Hi," I gave him a small smile. 

He leaned forward and kissed me immediately. 

I kissed him back with everything I had in me. It might be the last time I get to. We pulled away breathlessly and he chuckled softly. 

"Hello," he smirked, grabbing my waist. 

I pushed his hands off. "Are you going to make me stand here forever?" I asked, smiling softly. 

He stepped aside and let me in. I walked in and he shut the door behind me, following me. He grabbed my hand and started taking me to his room but I stopped. 

"Reece." 

He turned to look at me. "Hmm?" 

"I didn't come here for sex tonight." 

"What else can I interest you in, Indigo?" he smirked. 

"Conversation," I answered. 

His smile faltered a little and he looked at me with calculating eyes. "Okay. Tell me what's up." 

I took in a breath, looking at our held hands. "I think we should stop, Reece." 

He frowned in confusion, "Stop what?" 

"This thing that we're doing," I cleared my throat. 

His grip on my hand tightened. I don't know if he realized that. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean I think we should stop seeing each other. We should stop this whole enemies with benefits thing and we should just... stay away from each other." 

He stepped closer to me. "Why would you say that?" 

I looked up at him, blinking. I won't cry while doing this, that's a promise to myself. 

"Indie?" He held one side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. 

"I like you, Reece." 

He went still but he didn't pull away from me. He didn't even blink, just stared at me. 

"I like you. I'm not kidding, I'm not messing with you. I really like you. And it's starting to hurt." 

"What is?" His voice sounded detached. Very detached. 

"Being around you when I feel like this. Because I know you don't feel the same way and you never will. We're using each other but... it doesn't feel good anymore, Reece. It just hurts." 

He swallowed hard before pulling his hands down, letting go of me completely. I hesitated to continue but he nodded. "Go on." 

"I don't want to do this anymore if... God, if—" 

"If I don't want to be with you, right?" He finished for me, knowingly. 

I nodded slowly. I wanted to desperately look away from him but I also knew I shouldn't. So, I kept my eyes locked with his and focused on him. 

He sighed, watching me. He shook his head slowly, looking away from me first. "Why, Indie?" 

"I wish I didn't like you, Reece. I wish we could keep it how it was when we started this. But I don't know how to make it stop. And I tried stopping, I tried ignoring it but I can't do it anymore. I had to tell you. I'll leave it up to you. Your answer decides if I stay or go, Reece." 

"That's real nice of you," he scoffed. "Just put it all on me." 

"That's not what I'm trying to do, Reece," I sighed, stepping closer. I grabbed his shirt and lifted one hand, holding one side of his face. He tried shrugging me off but I just held him again. "Reece." 

He stopped struggling and looked down at me. So much anger. So much frustration. So much... disappointment in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "But I like you."

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