There had been one upside with me not being able to contact Ash for a couple of days and that was that I had cleaned my apartment just to get my mind off things. So, when I got home that evening, I didn't have to worry that my mom would take out the vacuum the first thing she did when she got here. But of course, she scrutinized the place as soon as she stepped inside.

"You cleaned just because of me?" she said suspiciously when she had taken the obligatory tour of the apartment.

"How could I?" I sighed. "I didn't know you were coming until a couple of hours ago and I've just been home for half an hour."

She took off her large shawl and tossed it over a chair in the kitchen.

"Then I managed to time my visit pretty damn good then," she smiled and continued into my bedroom. "I wanted to see the state of your suit, you still have it right? It's dad's sixtieth birthday so it'll be a big party and I want you to look your best."

Worried I followed her and tried to remember where the hell I even had my suit. I hadn't worn it for ages, last time was my grandfather's funeral and that was three years ago. I froze when my mom grabbed the handles to my closet. That spot was not clean and tidy. At all. When she opened the door a pile of clothes fell onto the floor in front of her. Quietly she stood there and looked inside at the mayhem.

"Didn't get to this part yet, right?" she said dryly and gave me a long, hard look.

"It was on my to-do list," I grinned apologetically and cursed myself for not taking care of the closet at same time as the rest of the place.

She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and threw my blanket on the floor, then she grabbed a bunch of clothes and tossed them on the bed.

"Well, let's start fixing it then," she said and nodded to me. "I have no place I need to be anyway."

But I do, damnit.

I didn't say anything, there was no point in trying to stop her now anyway. So, I sat down on the bed like the obedient son I was and started folding clothes. She took military command over the operation and pointed at different places on the bed where I should place t-shirts, pants and sweaters. After a while she held up a white t-shirt in front of me and raised her eyebrows. The words 'Daddy's boy' screamed at me, and I didn't know where to look. How was I supposed to explain that particular piece of clothing? I felt the blush all the way up to my hair line.

"That's just a joke, you know..." I said and tried to smile like it was funny.

"I think it should say 'Mommy's boy' instead," she said matter-of-factly and folded the t-shirt. "You always were. Dad was just a pain to you, at least you thought so when you were younger."

Right. Because that was exactly what those words where about. Relieved, I laughed and agreed with her, thanking every higher power that she had so totally misunderstood the meaning. We continued folding and finally the closet was in order and my mother had managed to dig out the suit. It was wrinkled and roughed up from being on the floor of the closet and she asked irritated if I had an iron.

"Don't know," I confessed.

She marched to the kitchen and went straight to my cleaning closet and produced both an iron and an ironing board. I felt like I was eighteen again, a total newbie in living on my own and not knowing one thing about cleaning or anything.

"And where's the tie?" she demanded. "I couldn't find it in the closet?"

A sudden memory flash of an unknown room in the office building. Ash's hand around my cock. His growling words to me. I swallowed hard and looked out the kitchen window.

"I had to throw it away, it had... stains on it that didn't go away."

My mother rolled her eyes.

"You can borrow one of dad's then," she sighed and started to methodically iron the fabric of the suit pants.

I sat down at the kitchen table and watched her. Would I have the guts to tell her? Now that she was here, I felt so completely safe, I had always been able to talk to her about anything, but we had never talked about love or sexuality. Not that I could remember. Not that she was a prude, she could crack some seriously rough jokes sometimes, but there had never been a reason to bring it up.

"So, who is this Ash?" my mother suddenly asked and woke me up. "I heard from Zoey that you are co-workers?"

"He works in the cafeteria," I said and racked my brain to come up with a simple reason for me to be friends with him. "We share the same interests, play the same games and stuff."

She gave me a quick glance and pointed at a hanger on the table, and I gave it to her.

"I cannot for the life of me understand how you can hang out like that, over the computer," she mused and draped the newly ironed clothing on the hanger. "But I guess I'm just too old to understand. Is that how you two met, through the games?"

I stirred in my seat. It wasn't like I could say that Ash had come up to me one day and hand-flirted with me. That we met through the computer was an easier explanation, and certainly a more innocent one.

"Kinda like that," I answered.

My hands were suddenly sticky with cold sweat. I didn't want to dig myself too far down in my lies to her, but at the same time I didn't know how to start a conversation that would end up in the fact that Ash and I were dating. How did you even start a conversation like that? Did you just say it or were you supposed to talk around it for a while? And talk about what?

"Make us some coffee, honey," my mother said and held up the suit in front of her. "We could use it after the closet cleaning."

I did as she told, grateful to have something to do with my hands. It wasn't like I doubted that my mother loved me, but still I was unsure how she would react to having a son that was... not straight. I tried to remember if she or dad ever said anything derogative about gay people, but I couldn't bring up any memory of that. But on the other hand, I couldn't remember if they had ever said anything positive either. They hadn't talked about it at all.

I put the coffee pot on the table and my mother hung the suit on the coat rack in the hallway and sat down with me.

"Now, don't you dare touch that suit before you pack it on Friday, you hear me?" she demanded and took a sip of coffee.

"I promise, dear mother," I answered and grinned. "Thanks."

"What are mothers for?" she smiled. "But I'm happy that you found a friend, you don't have a lot of those. And that he works at the same place as you, that is great."

Just like that I knew I had to tell her. I didn't know why the feeling just came over me, but just looking at my mother sitting there, being so happy for me, made it impossible for me to keep it from her anymore.

"Mom," I said cautiously. "This thing with Ash... it's more than just us being friends."

There. I said it. No ifs and buts, just plain and simple. I could hear myself exhaling after uttering the words. Carefully I looked at her to see how she reacted to the information. To my big surprise she was giggling. Her eyes glittered and she took my hand across the table.

"Finally," she beamed. "I started to think you'd never realize it."

I didn't understand at all. Apparently, she wasn't opposed us dating, but what she just said was incomprehensible.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I had my suspicions ever since you were in your teens, darling. When the other boys started looking at girls you didn't care at all. You had some girlfriends in school, I know that, but it seemed to be just to fit in. And when you got older that just seemed continue. You never showed any true interest."

So, she had realized it before me. But she was right, it was never genuine interest that made me go after a certain girl when I was younger. And being an adult, I had liked my girlfriends, but there had never been that extra dimension. I didn't even know it existed, until I met Ash.

"I... don't know what to say," I said, and the words caught in my mouth, the tears came out of nowhere and I couldn't stop them.

"That's nothing to be sad about, is it?" my mother said and squeezed my hand.

"I'm not... sad," I stuttered and tried to get the crying under control. "I'm just... so fucking relieved. I had this worst-case scenario I had imagined, and it didn't happen."

She laughed and shook her head.

"I though you knew that your mother wasn't that bigoted," she said. "Neither is your dad, he just doesn't care, you know him. Well, now I really want you to tell me about Ash, I mean he is coming to the lake house and all."

I took a deep breath and smiled at her.

"He's 28, he's taller than me and he has tattoos and piercings, and his hair is dyed black and he has really blue eyes, almost sapphire and he's outspoken and funny."

And he can make me cum like no one else.

"Now I can see it, that thing I never saw before," my mother said happily. "Now you show some real interest."

We continued talking for hours. The relief I got when I told her was so much bigger than I had ever thought and I realized that I couldn't stop talking about Ash, things he had said or done, and my mother had looked more and more cheerful as the time went by. I also told her about Ash's family and how they had treated him, and that that was the scenario I had been so afraid of. She had wondered why I didn't let Ash sleep at my place until I found his own.

That had never crossed my mind. But the thought of it made me nervous and not in a good way. There was an invisible border there, one that I wasn't aware of until she had brought it up. Despite it, I couldn't get it out of my head, even after she had gone home. Could I manage having Ash living with me? In my tower of safety?