"I Can't control your behaviour, Nor do I want that burden... but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I Have Self-respect."

- Unknown 

Part 8

Angel's Pov 

I entered her room and looked at her still sleeping form. 

"Hi mom.. I missed you. I need you mom there is so much I need to tell you." I said holding her hand. 

I was feeling like a girl who got ragged in school, and wanted my mom to tell me that everything will be okay, she is with me. 

I know people wonder how I can be so weak to stand for myself. But that is how I am. I don't like to hurt anyone, even if that person is the cruellest one, I always feel panic when anyone tries to pick on me. 

That's how I am. But now I'm tired, I'm tired of the attraction of attack, now I just want to sit and hide from everything.

"Mom, you know humans are the worst animal god has ever created. I want to become a bird in my next birth" I said and laid my head on her hand. 

"You remember I told you about the Williams, who were taking the company where I work. Mom it was Blaize, yes mom Blaize" I cried holding her hand. 

"Mom his real name is Blaize William, and he owns the richest industry line in the world, Ian was right about Blaize, he lied to me mom, his promises and those words everything was lie, you know he even denied to know me."

"He-he called me slut mom, and today he manhandled me and threw me out like some sack, I don't know why he is doing this. He insulted me and made me cry."

"you know right that Blaize could never do such, but mom the Blaize we used to know back had never existed in this world, it was all an act and the reason is unknown to me. I'm so lost mom, i don't know what to do, please help me" I cried my heart out hugging her and told her everything that happened in the past 3 days. 

I don't know what to do now, I'm jobless, heartbroken, but what hurt me most that I didn't expect the hatred and insults from the one person who used to respect me most. 

"Mom, I have so many questions, why did Blaize leave me? Even though he promised to be back, why didn't he do so? What changed him? How could he be so heartless? He didn't even ask how was I, What happened when he wasn't there? why? Why? Why? Why can't anyone answer me questions?"

"I started to move on from my past, started to live my life in a new way, so why did he come back and even if he did, how could he hurt me like this? he crushed my self respect in pieces, I want to hate him but then why my heart still takes his side." I poured my heart to her, but didn't notice when the door opened. 

"Angel, are you okay? Oh my god what happened to you?" Kate shrieked while looking at my broken self. 

She hugged me while I poured my heart to her too. She helped me in my worst and knew everything about my past, so I can share everything with her. 

"Angel I'm so sorry, I wasn't there for you, but I really hate that shame of a man." She gritted her teeth. 

"But I can't hate him kate, I .. I tried but my heart didn't listen to me, and I felt alive from heart after so many years just to see blaize but-" I couldn't complete it because of crying.

"Angel, look at me... do you see me as your sister?" She asked seriously, what's the matter with her. 

"Yes, you are more than a sister to me" I answered. 

"Then will you listen to me without crying and listen very carefully?" She asked again and I nodded. I don't understand what she is trying to do, I'm just a hopeless girl right now. 

"Angel, I know you have gone through so much in your past years, and you didn't even deserve that with such a beautiful heart of yours, but tell me one thing?, was any of that your fault?, hmm.. no it was not, you know why are you hurt baby, because you let them hurt you. You let people insult you, pick on you, hurt you emotionally" she said and I opened my mouth to answer her but nothing came out. 

"I know you can't fight with anyone, either verbally and physically doesn't even count on you" she said rolling her eyes. 

"But angel, that doesn't mean you let anyone step on you again and again, don't let them ruin your self respect baby" she said holding my hands and I bowed my head. 

"I don't know what to do, I .. I want them to not to hate me but I don't know what should I do" 

"Angel if they hate you then feel special because you must have something special which they don't, so don't let their hate reach your heart, and if you can't control your heart then control your mind, don't shed any tears in front of anyone, and if you can't being strong then act like a strong girl baby, I know you can't fight for yourself, so just ignore their comments and insults. Let them bark baby, just make your mind stronger to win against your heart, make yourself strong for being strong" she held my left hand and brought it to my heart.

"Just love yourself first Angelina before loving any bastards, just love your self respect before loving anyone else, don't let them hurt you again, will you do that for me? For your mom? So when she wakes up, she will be proud of her daughter" she asked in a soft voice. 

My body froze at her words, can I do it? She is not asking me to fight with anyone, to hurt anyone, she just asked me to respect myself, to not let anyone hurt me. 

I don't know if either I can do that or not but I remember my mom telling me, try try but don't cry. 

"I..I can try" I said looking at her.

She smiled and hugged me, "you must do what you think is right to do by your heart, but still it is your responsibility to protect it baby, just give yourself some time and I know that everything will be alright and about your job.. I'll ask my boss about you" she said and grinned. 

I smiled and decided to do what she suggested, maybe things can get better for me. "Alright but still I don't understand why and how did you find me here?" 

"Oh I tried to call you but you left your phone at home, and you were not at your office so I knew where to find you next, and as for why ... I wanted to tell you that Ray proposed to me last night and he's moving in with me" she told me happily. 

But wait what? "But Kate, shouldn't it be the other way around. .. I mean you should be moving in with him?" I asked with a confused look.

"Technically I don't want to leave that place, and Ray still would shift to another apartment, so I asked him to move in with me, plus I can't leave you with the burden of the whole rent, I know how you save it for your mom's medication. And most importantly, I can't leave you alone angel" she said with a cute pout, that's why she is best because she understands me like the back of her hand.

"Okay, okay fine, now I have to bear two crazy heads" I joked to which she laughed. "Definitely, now let's make pizza today, tomorrow Ray will move in." She said and excitement is dripping in her voice. 

"Okey, and mom I'll see you soon, I hope you'll wake up then, and thank you for listening to me, I love you mom" I kissed her cheek with a sad smile and went out with kate. 

We went home and made home pizza and covered each other with flour and eggs. Yup food fight with your bestie is the best thing to do. 

My mood changed to a happy one while enjoying it with her. I guess she is right, I just need to let go of our past, I think I need to forgive them all... to move on.. but still I'll never forget, so not to make any mistakes again like before.

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Author's Note

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