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Happy.

I feel so happy today.

Yesterday me and Kai read the book together and it was so good.

Today is going to be a good day.

I get up out of my bed and walk to my bathroom to brush my teeth and use the restroom.

Once I get out I go check on Laila.

She is passed out so I just kiss her chubby cheek and leave her in there.

I walk out to the kitchen to see Kai cooking some breakfast and I smile.

"Hi, baby," I say to him and hug him from behind.

He smiles as holds my hands that are on his torso.

Cute.

"You have some mail," he says to me and I smile.

Little did I know my whole world would come crashing down when I read it.

I smile before walking over to the mail and opening it and unfolding it.

To Aulora Madden:

My name is Judge Henry. I have sent you this letter regarding custody of the child Laila Madden. The respectable party that is Sophia Madden, your mother, has requested sole custody of the 9-month old Laila.

There is seemed to be child neglect being involved in this case. It has been said that Aulora Madden has been neglecting the child. You're court hearing will be sentenced at 3:00 on 7/13/22.

Regards,

Henry.

My chest constricts as tears blur my visions and my breath gets knocked out of my throat.

My mother...

Why would she do this to me?

What did I do wrong?

I don't neglect my child.

I love Laila.

She's going to leave me.

My mothers going to take her.

I can't breath.

All I can see is Kai moving frantically infront of me as he pushes my hair out of my face.

I focus on him and my hearing comes back.

"Baby, calm down your okay," he says as I try to stop hyperventilating.

"She's taking her from me," I say as tears stream down my face.

"Who is?," he asks me as he wraps me into a tight hug making me feel comforted.

"My mom wants custody of Laila. She's trying to take my baby away from me," I say as i start to get scared.

I push away from Kai and run to my room.

I go to my baby and pick her up out of her crib and sit on my bed as I hug her tightly to me.

"Mommy loves you so much. Don't leave me please," I whisper as she sleeps.

Kai comes back into my room and looks at me with sympathy and sadness as he sees the tears running down my face.

He walks over to my side of the bed and I scoot away as I start to panic.

"Don't take her from me. Please. Please don't take her from me," I say hurriedly as tears fog my vision and everything goes blurry.

"I'm not gonna take her from you baby. You're going to pass out if you don't calm down," he says to me and I start to breath again.

My vision starts to return as I look down at Laila and somehow she's still asleep through it all.

"Can you hold me? Please?," I whisper and he nods his head rapidly.

He gets in the bed and sits against the headboard as I sit between his legs with my back against his chest.

He wraps his arms around me.

I keep Laila on my chest as she lays her head on my boobs and sleeps.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you," I say in a small voice.

"Don't apologize," he says as he rubs his thumb up and down on my hip.

"I'll do anything to help you not let your mom win this," he says as he kisses my head lightly.

I muster a small smile.

"Can you invite my mom over I just want to talk to her and ask her why?," I say to him and he looks at me adoringly and it makes my heart beat quicken.

"Of course I can," he says and texts her before turning my phone off.

I rub my hand up and down Laila back.

She's my whole world, I can't imagine my world without her in it.

We lay there for a little as Laila slowly starts to wake up and smile at me.

See she loves me! Right?

Laila starts to put her hands inside my shirt telling me she wants to nurse.

At the same time the doorbell rings.

I hold Laila on my hip and walk into the living room and going to the front door.

I open the door and turn around and sitting on the couch.

I lay Laila sideways and pull up my shirt and let Laila latch onto my breast.

Kai comes and sits next to me as my mom sits across from me.

"I can't believe your showing your boobs when he is right here," my mom says and rolls her eyes.

"He's my boyfriend who has already seen me naked multiple times so I couldn't care less," I say as I stroke Laila's hair.

"I just wanted to ask how I neglect my child?," I say as I look at her with hate and anger clear in my eyes as she sits there.

"You neglect Laila a lot. Always hanging out at parties and going off with this boyfriend and throwing her off on me and Greyson whenever you get the chance. You're to young to have a child and your not a fit mother," she says.

"Funny coming from you when you never really had to be a mother. It was either work or your busy with Greyson. Do you even know how to raise a child that's a girl?," I say angrily.

"Yes I do. You're my kid after all," she says as she laughs.

"And for your other comment I've been out a few times since Laila was born and I already have guilt for it so don't throw that in my face and you've only watched her once or twice," I say.

Laila sucks vigorously as I pat her bum.

"You would have to have guilt if you didn't get pregnant in the first place. If you weren't such a slutty teen and wanted to go to parties maybe you wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. If you truly didn't want him you should have fought harder," she says with a shrug and I'm fuming.

I could beat her ass.

You're holding Laila calm down.

I take a deep breath before looking back at her.

Angry tears start to build in my eyes as I look at the woman I call my mother.

"I fought so fucking hard that day and that's not something you can take away from me and discredit me. You can try to take my child but you will never take away the fact that I put up a huge fight against him and you knew that. You saw the bruises I had on myself," I say angrily.

"I wasn't trying to be a slutty teen I was going to a party like everyone else. How much harder do you want me to fight? I fight every fucking day living with the memory of what happened to me. And you, you do not get to come in here and act like you are mother of the year and you know what I went through. Because you don't and you never will," I say as tears fall done my face.

"I was more cautious of myself when I was a teen," she says with a shrug and I just scoff at her.

Kai starts to clench his fists before he speaks.

"Good for you Sophia. Round of fucking applause for you. But me personally I really don't give a fuck. She's the greatest mother I've ever see and is a hell of a lot better then you. You're a bad mother and a victim blamer? Pick a fucking struggle. Nobody deserves to be raped," he says angrily as he looks at her.

I'm glad he said something cause I feel so defeated and anguished.

"Maybe she deserved it," she says and I stare at her stunned.

Laila finishes eating and unlatches as I fix my shirt and wipe her mouth.

She sits up and stares at my mom.

"She wants to come to me," my mom says and gets up and tries to take Laila from me.

Laila starts to cry and turns around and hugs me around my neck.

My mom takes her out of my hands as I stare at her with wide eyes.

Laila starts screaming bloody murder as she squirms and try's to get down.

"MAMA," she screams as she reaches for me and I snatch her away from my mom.

"Don't touch my baby," I say as I hug Laila to me tightly and she holds onto me tightly.

She starts to suck her thumb for comfort as she lays her head on my chest.

"You probably taught her to not like me," My mom says as she sits back down.

"I didn't do anything," I say dismissively.

Laila keeps her eyes on me like she things I'm going to disappear.

Kai sits closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

I lean my head on his shoulder as he rubs Laila's back lightly.

"I just don't know how you can sit here and be okay with trying to take a baby out of her home and away from her mother," I say to her and she shakes her head.

"She'll adapt. I'm not ripping her away from you. You can see her sometimes. She would have a much better life not trapped in this apartment where she doesn't even have a bedroom," my mom says as she huffs.

"SHE COULD HAVE HER OWN ROOM I HAVE THE SPACE. THERE IS NO POINT WHEN SHES WITH ME ALL THE TIME. Answer me this. How are you gonna breastfeed her?," I ask her and she laughs.

"I can just do formula," she says and smiles at me.

"You can but she won't want to drink it after she's been breastfed for her whole life," I say bluntly.

"We'll figure it out," she says and I shake my head.

"You're so pathetic is laughable really. Spent my whole life trying to make you love me when your only capable of loving yourself," I say with a angered laugh.

"Agreed," Kai says and I just kiss his cheek.

Remind me to suck him off later.

"I love other people not just myself," she says.

"Whatever. I don't want you in my apartment anymore. I don't want you to contact me at all for anything. By trying to gain a child you lost another," I say as I usher her out the door.

She rolls her eyes before leaving my house as I lock the door and come back into my apartment.

"Do you want to take a shower together after I put Laila down for a nap," I say to Kai and he nods.

I take Laila back to my room and rock her back and fourth as I hold her tightly.

She slowly falls asleep and I set her on the middle of my bed making sure she can't fall before going to the bathroom.

I strip out of my clothes and get in the shower as I wait for Kai.

My eyes start to water as I think about all the things my mom said to me.

Soon enough my body shakes with sobs as I cry into the palm of my hand so I don't have to wake Laila up.

Kai comes behind me and wraps his hands around my waist tightly.

"What's she said wasn't true. You're the best mom I ever seen and you didn't deserve what happened to you. Laila won't be taken away from you! I love you," he says to me and I smile as tears slide down my face.

"I love you so much," I whisper as I let him hold onto me.

I just let everything go as I sink down and he goes with my holding onto me as we sit on the floor.

After a while I stop crying and clean myself before getting out of the shower with Kai.

We go back into my room and see Laila still sleeping as we crawl into the bed and lay with her.

I love her so much.

☁︎︎

Here's chapter 42!

Please watch my tik tok it took so long and it has everything to do with this chapter! (my username is darkromancelol).

If you didn't see my message on my message board I'll resay it on here. I'm moving this weekend so I might be busy for a few days so I might not be able to update. I'm trying too prewrite and make stuff but it's hard. So if updates slow down for a few days I'm really sorry!

Also I think I scared some people that the book is ending. We still have like 10-20 chapters left depending on if I find ideas to write.

CREDIT FOR THIS CHAPTER IDEA IS @Caitlin336659! SO THANK YOU FOR THIS!

I hope you enjoy the chapter see you next time! Thanks for reading I love you -addyson <333