Sarah woke up later than usual but didn’t feel rested. She had woken up several times during the night, and it had taken a lot of tossing and turning to get back to sleep. She looked at the mirror, and the bruise was still there, not even lighter than before. She had spent the rest of the evening in her room, so she hadn’t had the chance to use any ice on it. It was another day for the scarf. Not that it mattered anymore since everybody knew. But maybe people would stare her less when the hickey was covered.

Sarah got dressed in a loose sweater and jeans and walked to the kitchen only to grab an apple and a snack bar on the go. She didn’t want to deal with her mother. Sarah felt slightly guilty about shouting, but mum was at fault too. She had been rude as well. It was insulting that mum didn’t think Sarah knew how to handle herself. She had never done a single stupid decision. Well, nothing more stupid than touching hot stove or licking a metal pole at winter, but what kind of kid didn’t try at least one of those. She had been a sensible child. Did mum think she’d start being stupid now?

Sarah huffed while tying her shoes. When she straightened herself, she noticed mum standing in front of her. Sarah turned to leave.

“Sarah, I’m sorry,” mum said. “I shouldn’t have shouted like that. I was just surprised.”

Sarah stopped and sighed

“I’m sorry too,” she said. “This is a lot to get used to.”

“You can always talk to me honey. I promise I’ll be calmer and listen to you.”

“Thank you, mum. Maybe I will later. I have to go to school now.”

“Of course. Have a good day.”

Sarah’s chest felt lighter when she headed to the street. She hated fights so it was nice that they had both apologized. Apologies couldn’t take back all the words that had been said and implications they set but at least the hostility was gone. It would be easier to come back home now.

At the school gates Sarah ran into Castiel. He noticed her from afar and stayed waiting since no one else was around.

“Hello,” he smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” Sarah replied. She hesitated for a bit, twisting her hands.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she said then.

“What about yesterday?”

“Oh, well, in the staircase I pushed you away… I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to be rude. The guys just made me nervous.”

“Oh that. Don’t worry about it. I didn’t think you were rude. I know you don’t want too much attention on us. I should’ve kept my distance.”

Sarah smiled but her heart was heavy. “I wish we wouldn’t have to worry about it. I’m just causing trouble for you.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t worry about it. We don’t need to hurry. And I can still have you all for myself when we’re alone. I’m happy as long as I have that going for me,” Castiel grinned and pulled Sarah closer to himself before letting her go again. There was no one to school yard.

Sarah smiled. “I need to come over soon then.”

“The door’s always open for you. And seriously. Try not to stress. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Sarah smiled. That’s what she wanted to believe too. That with a little bit of time, she’d get comfortable with herself and this situation. Castiel was so kind to her.

The school was loud and bustling as usual, but today all the commotion was focused on the first floor hallway. Sarah and Castiel could see people standing at the top of the stairs, a few even on the steps, when they walked in the building. Castiel glanced at Sarah, and they headed upstairs as well. Of course, they had to see what was going on.

Someone noticed Sarah and immediate shoving and whispering started in the crowd. People nudged each other, pointed at her and then started speaking in quiet murmurs. Sarah’s throat tightened, and her heart started to thump louder. The biggest congestion of people was gathered around her locker. Castiel placed his hand on her arm. He had a bad feeling about this.

“L-let me through,” Sarah muttered and tried to push herself through the crowd. Castiel followed close behind, and people kept whispering.

Sarah made her way to her locker, and it took her several seconds to register what she saw. Insulting words had been painted on the door of her locker in several colours so they would draw the reader’s attention. Sarah’s eyes bounced from one word to another. ‘Cow’ was the nicest she could see. But there was more. Several pictures of her were plastered on the locker. It was a picture from before the gym class, and she wasn’t wearing her shirt.

The world spun around Sarah and her vision was getting blurry. Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach churned. Tears burned in the corners of her eyes and she had no strength to stop them.

“What the fuck is this?”

Castiel’s voice was distant to her. She stared at the locker that was designed to humiliate her. She didn’t hear how Castiel shouted at Melanie, who just arrived, telling her to get a teacher, and how he yelled at everyone else crowding around them. He noticed someone with a picture of Sarah and grabbed the guy from the collar, snatched the picture from his hands and ripped it to pieces. Sarah didn’t see. Her world was just mist. She covered her face with her hands, shaking and sobbing. It was hard to breathe.

Castiel stopped shouting at the crowd and hurried back to her shoving people who didn’t understand to move out of the way. He was shaking too but from rage. His heart wrenched when he wrapped his arms around Sarah, trying to comfort her. He didn’t care that everybody saw them. Everyone with eyes could see Sarah meant something to him, but Castiel didn’t care. Sarah was in pain, and he wanted to help. But there was nothing he could do.

“What is happening here? What is with this crowd? What on Earth is this?!”

Principal Taggart’s appearance made the crowd shuffle. Those on the edges of the crowd took the chance and slipped away as quickly as possible. A few stuffed pictures of Sarah in their bags. There had been a pile of them on a nearby chair. They were all gone now.

The principal pushed the crowd out of the way. Mr Coy meekly followed behind her, eyeing the students and twisting his hands. The principal read a few of the words and gasped. Then she picked one of the pictures and gasped again.

“Miss Webster, what is this?”

Sarah looked at the principal but couldn’t answer. She opened her mouth to speak but the words got stuck in her throat.

“Isn’t it pretty clear to see principal?” Castiel grunted. “Someone’s messing with her.”

Sarah took a long, shaky breath. Castiel softened his hug but didn’t let go. He couldn’t let go. He was worried Sarah would crumble to pieces if he did.

“Could you come with us Miss Webster?” the principal asked. Sarah nodded.

“Everybody else go to class or you’ll be in detention! I will let you know right now that the person or people responsible for this will meet heavy consequences. We will not take bullying and defaming lightly. This will be a police matter. If someone knows something or wants to admit their guilt, I recommend doing it soon.”

The remaining crowd started to disperse. Some hurriedly dropped the pictures they had been holding. They didn’t want to get in trouble for this. People tried to guess who the perpetrator could be. No one had seen anything happen of course. It had all been there when they had arrived. They all had their guesses, but no one said anything.

“Now, Miss Webster if you could come with me.” The principal’s voice was softer now. “Mr Thompson you too go to class.”

“I’m not gonna leave her alone.”

Principal Taggart rubbed her temples. “I can see you two are close, but I must first speak with Miss Webster alone.”

“It’s alright Castiel,” Sarah whispered. Her eyes were swollen and red. She placed her hands on his.

Castiel sighed. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

Sarah nodded and followed the principal.

“Mr Coy call the janitor and make sure that mess gets covered. Get rid of those terrible pictures too,” the principal ordered.

Castiel looked at them leave. Sarah was hunched and stared at the floor. Castiel clenched his hands into fists. He’d strangle the barbie for this.

“Do you want some tea, Sarah?” the principal asked when they arrived in her office. Sarah shook her head and sat down on the nearest chair. The principal chat on her chair and laced her fingers together. She looked directly at Sarah. She didn’t look at her.

“I’m very sorry this happened to you. We’ll do everything we can to solve this. Do you have any idea who could’ve done this?”

Sarah knew exactly who had done this. There was only one person who hated her this much and for very petty reason. Sarah was ready to bet all her money on it being Mercedes.

“I don’t know.”

“Really? No ideas? Has anyone been mean to you recently? Have you got into arguments with people?”

“I can’t really say I have.”

The principal sighed and straightened her posture. “I understand. The police will check the cameras. The culprit will most likely show up there. I will call your mother and-“

“No! Don’t call my mother, please.”

“Are you sure? This is a serious matter. It is our policy to inform the parents in all bullying cases…”

“I don’t want her to worry.”

“I think it would be good to let her know. That way you wouldn’t need to carry this on yourself. It can be hard to talk about situations like this at home.”

“Fine. But I don’t want to be here when you call her. And I don’t want her to come here. I don’t know anything so can I go?”

The principal looked at Sarah. She stared at the floor.

“You can go. But if you need to talk with someone, the school psychologist is also available. We might ask you to come here again when the police arrive.”

Sarah stood up and without saying a word walked out of the office. The principal sighed and picked up the phone. This would be a long day.

When Castiel’s phone vibrated to sign a new message, he jumped from his seat and walked out of the classroom. The teacher’s shouts fell to deaf ears, and Leon tried to explain what was going on.

Castiel marched straight downstairs to the basement where she found Sarah sitting on the floor, curled into ball. She turned her head slightly when she heard the door open. Castiel sat down next to her, and Sarah leaned against him.

“Are you- How are you?” Castiel asked. It would’ve been wrong to ask if Sarah was okay. She clearly wasn’t.

“I don’t know. Empty? I can never show my face in the school again.”

“Don’t say that. People will forget this soon.”

“There are pictures of me in my underwear around this school Castiel! I’ve been exposed and humiliated! What else can I say?” Sarah’s voice broke, and she buried her face in her hands.

Castiel wrapped his arm around her and pulled Sarah closer.

“Mercedes will pay for this once I find her,” he grumbled.

“No, don’t do anything.”

“Why not? It’s clearly her fault. No one else is childish enough to pull something like this. No one else has any reason to do this. I can guarantee it was her.”

“But is there any proof? If we just accuse her with no proof, she could do something worse. And you could get in trouble too. I don’t want that.”

“Don’t worry about me. All that matters is that you’ll be fine.”

Sarah swallowed a lump in her throat. Castiel was so good to her. She had done nothing to deserve it.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered.

“What?”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what? I don’t understand.”

“This. U-us.”

The words were like a punch in the stomach to Castiel. He looked at Sarah, who was avoiding his eyes.

“Do you want to break up?” The words very heavy like lead. Forming them was painful. Castiel was scared to hear the reply.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I think I just need space. To think… But I understand if you want to break up. I’m nothing but a bother.”

“Don’t say that,” Castiel whispered. It hurt him to hear Sarah belittle herself like that. Had this incident wiped away her concept of self-worth? “If you want space, I’ll give you space for as long as you need. But I’m not going to give up on you. I feel like you don’t realize it, but I like you a lot.”

“But why? Why do you like me?”

“Because you’re…you? You’re kind and funny. You’re soft and warm but can also be sassy when you want to. You…you make me want to protect you.”

Castiel face flushed red. It was embarrassing to say his feelings out loud, but Sarah needed to know. They hadn’t dated for long, not even a full week. It was too early to end things. He didn’t want this relationship to end before it had even properly begun. This felt different than being with Rachel. It was more comfortable and natural. He’d do everything he could to keep it going.

“You’re making me feel terrible. I really don’t deserve you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. But don’t give up. I’ll wait for you. I’ll let you be now.”

Castiel pressed a kiss on Sarah’s forehead and stood up. He didn’t want to leave but it was probably for the best to go now. His steps echoed loud in the empty room and the closing door sounded like the bells of doom. Sarah flinched.

She buried her face in her knees. Tears soaked in her jeans and her shoulders were shaking as she cried.

Sarah skipped all morning lessons as well as lunch and spent all of it in the basement. When she finally emerged from hiding, all tears had run dry and her body ached from sitting on the concrete floor. Her eyes hurt and she had a pounding headache. Breathing through nose was close to impossible.

When people saw her approaching, they gathered into groups and started whispering. She paid no attention to them. She walked past everyone, only focused on getting to her destination.

Castiel was sitting with Leon at second floor hallway when Sarah trudged past them like a zombie. Castiel perked up and looked after her. Leon glanced at his friend. Castiel and Sarah didn’t have it easy. He felt bad for his friend, but he also understood Sarah. To Leon, Sarah seemed like a sensitive person. It must’ve been stressful for so many things happen at once. But she was strong. She had made Castiel work with her in a project he hated from the beginning. That alone was a great achievement. She would surely get over this hardship as well.

A group of three boys was standing nearby and chatting to each other. When Sarah walked closer, they nudged at each other.

“Hey, you!” one of the boys called out. He had sleek black hair and ripped jeans. Sarah turned her head to look, and so did Castiel.

“I didn’t think you’d look this good under those baggy shirts. We’d like to talk more with you. Why don’t you come talk with us?” The guy waved a picture of Sarah in his hand.

Castiel narrowed his eyes when he heard the words.

“Leave me alone,” Sarah said quietly. “You’re disgusting.” Then she left, biting the inside of her lip so hard it hurt.

When Sarah had outside of the hearing distance, Castiel stood up and marched to the group of boys. Leon followed him. It didn’t seem wise to leave Castiel unattended.

“Give me that picture right now,” Castiel said.

“Oh? Sorry but this is the only one I have. If you want your own copy, you should ask around. There’s probably a few still available.” The sleek haired guy smirked. The other two shifted their weight from one leg to another and glanced at each other in worry. Castiel took one step closer.

“I’m not asking again. Give me the fucking picture. You have no right to keep it.”

“And who are you? The fun police?”

“Tony, just give him the picture,” one of the guys whispered. “He’s the girl’s boyfriend.”

“What? You and that girl? I guess I can see it. Must feel awful to have every guy in the school see what your girl looks like. She is quite a snack I have to say. Shame she still had trouse-”

Castiel slammed Tony against the wall. He yelped and his friends staggered back. Leon sighed.

“I said give me the picture,” Castiel growled. “You don’t want to make my repeat my words again.” He pushed him against the wall harder.

“Okay, okay, here you go,” he whimpered. “No need to get violent. I was just complimenting her.”

“No, you were being a scumbag. Never talk to her again or you’ll regret it. You understand?”

“Y-yes I understand.”

“Do you have any pictures of her?” he asked shifting his attention to Tony’s friends.

“No!” they replied in unison.

“I don’t even like girls!”

“But there’s few in the toilets. Or there was a little bit ago at least.”

“Good. Now fuck off.” One last push against the wall, and Castiel let Tony go. He ripped the picture to shreds and threw it in the trash can. The boys scampered off and almost tripped down the stairs.

“You seem to be bit on the edge,” Leon commented.

“How could I not be? Sarah’s in shambles, but she wants space and I don’t know what to do to help her. She might want to break up.” Castiel ran his hands through his hair.

“I understand. I don’t know what I’d do if something like this happened to Amanda,” Leon said. Just the thought made him shiver. “I think all you can do right now is be there when Sarah’s ready to come back.”

“Yeah… Where is Amanda by the way? Maybe she could talk with Sarah.”

“She’s meeting the teachers. Since the picture was from the girls’ locker room, they’re interrogating all the girls in the class.”

“Could you ask her to talk with Sarah?”

“Of course. But I’m sure she’d do it without asking too.”

The lessons passed painfully slowly with everyone’s eyes glued to Sarah’s back. She tried to avoid looking at Castiel but found herself glancing at his direction more often than she wanted to. The teachers didn’t ask anything, but they took looked at her with a wrinkle in their brow. When Sarah raised her hand to answer a question, they flinched and talked to her softly, like she was about to break. After that, Sarah stopped offering to answer.

Finally, the school bell rang to mark the end of the day. Sarah jumped from her seat ad packed her bag in a hurry. She wanted to get away from the school as soon as possible. But before heading home, she went to the toilets. The first thing she saw was a picture of her taped on the mirror. Gritting her teeth together, she ripped the picture of and crumbled it in the bin. There was sound of flushing toilets and three stalls opened at the same time.

“Oh, Sarah. I didn’t expect to see you here,” Mercedes said, exaggerated shock in her voice. “Terrible thing that happened to you. How are you feeling?”

“Are you proud of yourself?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Do you think you’ve done something great? Was this your idea of revenge because I’m with Castiel? I hope you enjoy this now because it won’t last. You’ll get what you deserve.”

Mercedes let out a laugh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. You think I caused this?”

“Like anyone else would be childish enough to pull something like this. You’re so petty. You can’t accept that someone has said no to you, but news flash Mercedes, this will not make Castiel like you anymore. I know you did this, and he knows too. You’ve shot yourself in the foot. He’ll never date you even if you begged him.”

Anger and frustration fuelled Sarah’s outburst, giving her confidence to accuse Mercedes so boldly. Did Mercedes really understand what she had done? This wasn’t just a little prank; it was humiliation and slander.

Sarah looked at Lind and Victoria before returning to Mercedes’s confident face.

“You do know this is a crime, right?” she asked. “You could go to jail.” Technically she wasn’t sure if that was true but the uneasiness on Lind’s and Victoria’s faces was a satisfying proof that they really were behind this. Mercedes did her best to keep a straight face.

“You’re lying,” she said but her voice faltered just slightly.

“If you don’t believe me, you can always check. Your dad’s a lawyer, right? I’m sure he’ll be super happy to hear his daughter is a criminal at such early age.”

A flash of worry visited Mercedes’s expression, but she wiped it away with a smirk.

“You’re spouting nonsense. Like I said, I have nothing to do with this.”

“Of course. Well, I’m sure the police will find out whoever the culprit was. I’m really looking forward to it.”

Sarah walked out with her heart hammering against her ribs. She let out a nervous chuckle. It always surprised her how she was able to talk like that. Did Castiel mean this when he said she had sass in her? Sarah smiled but it faded quickly. It was time to go home. She was worried what was waiting for her. Her phone had been off all day, and she was sure her mum would murder her for it.

Sarah tried to drag the walk home as much as possible. She feared how mum would react. Would she be ashamed? Would she think it was somehow Castiel’s fault? Sarah didn’t want that. She kicked a pebble, and it bounced on the pavement before falling into a puddle. Sarah could sympathize with the rock. She felt like she was drowning too, being crushed by all the thoughts and emotions.

Even with all the attempts to stay away from home, in the end, Sarah found herself at her front door. She was two hours late. She grabbed the door handle, bracing for the worst.

Sarah had barely stepped inside when she heard mum’s voice: “Sarah? Is it you?” The voice was strained and tired.

“Y-yes.”

Mum dashed from her office, eyes red and hair messy. She noticed Sarah and she sighed in relief. Her shoulders slumped like a heavy weight had just fell from them.

“Sarah, honey, where have you been?” mum sobbed and rushed to hug her. “I got a call from your principal. It’s terrible. Are you alright? I tried to call you, but your phone was turned off. I got so worried something happened to you.”

“I’m sorry mum. I just needed some time.”

“It’s fine. You’re alright and that’s what matters. Come sit down.”

Sarah dropped her coat and bag on the floor and followed mum to the living room. She plopped down on the couch. Mum sat down next to her.

“What is this all about? I got a call that something happened at school. There were pictures of you?”

“Someone took pictures of me when I was changing clothes before PE,” Sarah explained without looking at her mother. “They also painted words in my locker and spread the pictures around.”

Mum covered her mouth with her hand.

“Do you know who did it?”

Sarah remained quiet.

“Sarah?”

“It was most likely Mercedes. She… she’s jealous that I’m with Castiel.”

“Really? She’d do all that because she’s jealous?”

“There’s no one else who would do that. No one else has any reason. She’s been on my neck ever since the baby project started.”

“Did you tell the teachers?”

“No…”

“Sarah! Why not?”

“Because there’s no proof! They checked the cameras and only saw people with their faces covered. There’s nothing that proves it was Mercedes and her friends. If I start accusing them, they might make things even more difficult. I just want to be left alone.”

“Oh, baby,” mum sighed and hugged Sarah. “You need to tell the teachers. If they don’t know, they can’t start looking into things. This is serious.”

“I know but I just want people to forget this.” Sarah’s voice started to falter again, and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

“But you can’t let the people who are responsible get off for free. It’ll just teach them that they can do what they want without consequences. They might think they can keep bullying you because you don’t say anything back. All I want is for you to be happy. Do you want me to call the principal and tell them what you said?”

Sarah was silent for a moment but then she nodded her head. Mum smiled and pressed a kiss on Sarah’s forehead.

“I’ll go make the call now. I’ll talk to you a bit later. There’s food in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”

Sarah nodded again. When mum left, Sarah wiped few tears from the corners of her eyes. She picked her bag from the hallway and vaguely heard mum’s voice through a closed door. Her stomach was growling from hunger, but Sarah headed to her room and collapsed on the bed. She was tired.

She closed her eyes for a moment but then her phone buzzed. Sarah rummaged through her bag. A text on the screen said she had a message from unknown number.

Hey. This is Amanda. I’m sorry I’m messaging you so suddenly. I just wanted to check if everything’s alright.

Sarah smiled.

I’m doing better. Thanks for asking. Where did you get my number btw?

That’s great to hear! And Castiel gave it to me. He…told me what’s going on between you two and hoped I’d ask you how you’re doing. He’s worried about you but wants to keep his distance. I’m not trying to be his advocate or push you to any direction! I would’ve asked anyway if I had your number.

Sarah sighed. Of course. She should’ve guessed. But at least he wasn’t mad at her. It was a relief. Another message arrived from Amanda.

It was Mercedes, right? I don’t know anyone else who’d do something like that.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

Did you tell anyone?

Yeah.

That’s good. I hope they catch her soon. She’s an idiot if she thinks this helps her chances with Castiel. He’s so worried about you I don’t think he even thinks about anything else. I heard he roughed up some guys who had pictures of you.

What?

Nothing serious! He just got the picture from them and scared them a bit apparently. Leon was there. He wouldn’t let him get into trouble.

Leon sounds like his baby sitter, lol.

Lol, I think he pretty much is. Making sure Castiel doesn’t do anything stupid. Castiel really likes you so much. You look so sweet together!

Really?

Yeah. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but he looks like a totally different person. He isn’t grumpy all the time! :D

Haha, that’s true.

And I think you look lot happier too. You always looked kinda lonely but now with Castiel you’re more social and smile a lot more too. It’s really nice talking to you. Sorry if that was too personal. Didn’t meant to be :<

It’s alright. I’m happy to hear that :)

Lovely. We really need to meet up properly at some time. Maybe go for a double date :o That’d be so cool. I’m sure Leon would be up for it. But I have to go now. My dog’s begging for a walk, lol. You can message me any time you want.

Thanks. It was nice to talk to you.

You too!

Sarah smiled when she put her phone away only to pick it up few seconds later. Talking with Amanda had made her chest a little bit lighter. She could practically feel the sunshine radiating from Amanda through the phone screen. She was always so positive and had managed to make Sarah forget all the sad things for a moment. And Castiel… She’d have to make up all this for him. She didn’t want to give up. She’d have to pull herself together before Castiel would get tired of waiting. She should be strong.

The first thing Sarah saw in social media was a picture of herself, and her stomach dropped. Her mentions were full of comments, and message box was littered with messages from people she didn’t even know.

hey pretty girl

you look so hot in your underwear

could you take off more for me

you’re pretty ugly

I’d love to bang you

you’re just looking for attention

cow

Sarah bit her tongue. Taste of iron filled her mouth. She threw her phone and buried herself under the bed covers. She didn’t have the energy to deal with this now.