Sarah stared at her reflection and tried to hold back panic. The bruise on her neck had grown and darkened during the night, and now it was screamingly noticeable on her skin. She wished someone in the house used make up so she could’ve concealed it but there wasn’t even a vial of mascara to be found. Scarf was her only hope and option.

She picked a simple black long sleeved shirt from her wardrobe to combine with the purple checkered scarf she chose to wear. Sarah looked at her reflection again and brushed her hair on the sides of her neck to bring extra coverage, even though the scarf concealed the hickey perfectly. She sighed in relief. Maybe she’d survive the day.

“Why are you wearing a scarf?” Steffie asked in the breakfast table. She was still in her pyjamas, and normally Sarah would’ve been as well, but she couldn’t take any risks now.

“I just wanted to wear one.”

“Are you sick?”

“No. I just thought it’d look nice.”

“Mum can I have a scarf too?”

“Not today. I’m not gonna start looking for a scarf now. If you’ve finished your breakfast, go get dressed.”

Steffie sighed and left the table dragging her feet. Mum turned to look at Sarah.

“You’re not trying to hide anything with that scarf, are you?”

Sarah almost choked on milk. She coughed and blinked tears from her eyes.

“Of course not. What would I try to hide? A surprise tattoo I took yesterday?” She let out a nervous chuckle and gulped the rest of the milk. “Thank you for breakfast.”

She put the plate in the sink and hurried out of the kitchen. Mum narrowed her eyes. Something was up.

Sarah’s heart thumped in her chest. Did mum suspect something already? How would she explain this? She packed her bag and gym clothes in a hurry. It was still early to leave for school, but she didn’t want to stay at home. She threw the bag on her shoulder and headed to the hallway.

“Sarah, seriously, you can talk to me if something’s happened,” mum said when Sarah was putting on her coat.

“Nothing’s happened. Everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You’re acting strange.”

“Everything’s fine! Sorry… It’s nothing. I just wanted to wear a scarf, okay?”

“Okay then…”

Mum-senses tingled stronger than before. She’d have to talk about this after Sarah got back.

“I’ll be going now. See you later. Love you.”

Sarah slammed the door closed slightly too hard. Mum wrinkled her eyebrows. Steffie came from her room fully dressed.

“I’m ready!” she announced. “Will you braid my hair?”

“Of course.”

She sat Steffie down on a chair. The girl babbled on about her coming day, how they’d talk about jungles and deserts. She was excited to meet her friends and could hardly wait for lunch because they had pancakes as dessert. And then after school she’d go to her friend’s house. The best day ever.

“Never grow up, baby,” mother sighed under her breath. Teenagers were a lot of work.

The closer Sarah got to the school, the more nervous she got. What would she say if someone found out that she had a hickey? It was unlikely that anyone would pay enough attention to her to question why she was wearing a scarf; let alone guess that it was to hide a love bite, but what if? She was a terrible liar and had made mother suspect something for sure. And teens were even more susceptible of jumping in to conclusions. Maybe she should just pretend she had a cold? No one would surely question that. The weather was getting colder, so it wasn’t unthinkable to get sick. But what would she say to Castiel?

Sarah stopped on the spot. What would she say to him? She didn’t want to lie, but she was embarrassed.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Castiel’s voice struck Sarah like a lightning. She spun around. Castiel was standing right in front of her.

“Are you alright? You’re white as a sheet.”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. You just scared me a bit,” Sarah said. She took a deep breath that fogged in the chilly air.

“Sorry. But you’re blocking the way. Starting to have doubts about going to school? We can ditch if you want.”

“Wipe that smirk from your face. I’m not gonna ditch,” Sarah huffed. “I was just thinking about something.”

“What?”

“Nothing special.”

“How are you here so early?” she asked then. It was unusual for Castiel to arrive anything but just on time for class.

“I’m gonna have a quick band meeting with Leon before class. What about you? I didn’t think even you’d be on the move this early.”

“I got ready early and thought I’d just leave. I didn’t really feel like being at home.”

“Did something happen?”

“Kinda? But nothing serious. Mum was just being a bit nosy.”

“I know that feel all too well,” Castiel sighed. Her mother was nothing but nosy.

They walked towards the school together. Sarah’s nervousness eased a bit. Castiel’s presence was calming.

But the stress picked up again when they got inside and left their coats in the racks. There weren’t many students in the hallways since they were almost an hour early for the first class. Sarah adjusted her scarf which Castiel of course noted right away.

“Did you get sick from yesterday?” he asked.

“N-no.”

Sarah’s cheeks flushed. She looked around but there was no one nearby. It was better to just tell. Castiel would find out eventually, and she didn’t want to hide things.

“It’s because of this,” she said and lowered her scarf revealing the dark red mark on her neck.

It took Castiel few seconds to register what he was looking at, and he was struck by guilt.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Castiel ran his hand through his hair. Sarah pulled the edge of the scarf back up.

“I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“This is the exact opposite of keeping low profile. I don’t understand how I was so careless.”

If Castiel was honest with himself, he was surprised there was only one mark on Sarah. He wanted all of her, and it was hard to hold back.

“Well no one should be able to see it. And it’ll go away in a day or two, right?”

“Yeah it should. You can try ice on it. It should help it go away faster.”

“I’ll try that. It doesn’t bother me, but I don’t really want mum to see it. She’ll make a scene.”

Castiel swallowed. Had he added another entry to the ‘unfavourable boyfriend’ list?

“Is she against…these kinds of things?”

“Not really, I think. She wouldn’t be mad, but she’d start fussing a lot. And I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

There’d be so many questions, too many in fact. Mum would want to know everything, and Sarah wasn’t ready to share. She wasn’t even sure if she’d have answers to all the questions.

“I get it. My mum would probably be the same, “ Castiel sighed, slightly relieved. He hadn’t told her parents yet and while he wanted to, he wasn’t looking forward to it too much. Mum would be unbearable.

“But it’ll be fine,” Sarah smiled. “I’m sure she won’t be angry. I just want to keep it a secret here at school.”

“It shouldn’t be too hard. That scarf hides it well. I doubt no one would guess the reason for it.”

“Yeah, it’d be hard for them to imagine me doing anything promiscuous,” Sarah grinned. A hickey on Sarah the Boring? Impossible.

“You might be right. No one could ever suspect a little lamb doing such naughty things,” Castiel said and leaned closer to kiss Sarah.

“Here you are, Castiel.”

Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. Castiel jumped away from her and spun around, hiding Sarah behind his back. Leon was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt you?” A mischievous smile creeped up on Leon’s face when he walked closer. He knew he was interrupting and did it on purpose.

Sarah sighed in relief to hear it was just Leon.

“A bit,” Castiel mumbled. “I was gonna come soon. Sorry if I made you wait.”

“No problem. I just got here a little bit ago myself. Hello Sarah.”

“Hi.”

“And congratulations. Castiel told me.”

“Thanks.”

“Good job on keeping low profile,” Leon grinned then at Castiel.

“There’s no one else here apart from us.”

“I suppose. But if I could ask a moment of your time? If you bear to be apart from your girlfriend.”

“I’m starting to think it was a mistake to tell you. Let’s go. Sarah doesn’t need to listen to your nonsense.”

Leon laughed.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” he said to Sarah. “And I’ll make sure he doesn’t babble too much either.”

“Okay, come on now. Weren’t you in a hurry?” Castiel said and started heading towards the stairs.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Sarah nodded with a shy smile on her lips.

“Have fun,” she said when the boys headed to their meeting. Sarah wondered how much of it would be discussing the band and how much Leon teasing Castiel. At least he had seemed happy about his friend’s relationship. It would’ve been sad if Leon hadn’t liked Castiel dating Sarah. Things would’ve been awkward.

The whole class was crowding in the second floor hallway, waiting for chemistry class to start. Sarah had survived the day so far without questions about her scarf. However, her anxiety was on the rise since she had realised, she would have to take off the scarf for PE. She had two hours to come up with solutions, and she didn’t have a single idea.

The chemistry class was disliked by most students in the school thanks to the teacher, Mrs Styrne. She acted like she hated all children, which probably wasn’t far from the truth but raised the question why she was teacher in the first place. There was a permanent frown on her face that even the tight bun couldn’t stretch out.

A sound of high heels clacking against the stone floor echoed on the stairs and all students hushed. Mrs Styrne appeared, looking sour as ever, and opened the door to her classroom. People shuffled to their seats and started quiet talks with each other.

“Good afternoon,” Mrs Styrne said.

“Good afternoon!” everyone replied, or at least mouthed the words.

The teacher called out everyone’s name to make sure no one was absent, as if anyone would dare to ditch from her class, and then started to explain the day’s schedule. They’d be doing experiments, and Sarah sighed. She hated experiments. She always worried she’d create a poisonous cloud or explode things even though they didn’t even handle substances that would cause that. It would be much nicer to listen to a lecture and jot down notes.

When Mrs Styrne finished, everyone moved to the back of the classroom to get their lab coats.

“Miss Webster,” the teacher called, and anxiety stabbed Sarah in the stomach.

“Y-yes?”

“You need to remove your scarf. It’s a safety hazard.”

Oh no. Sarah’s throat dried up. She opened her mouth and closed it again.

“Is it really necessary Ma’am? If I’m careful couldn’t I keep it? My…throat hurts.”

“Your throat can survive half an hour without a scarf.”

“Ma’am please.”

“Take it off.”

“Could I not…”

“Remove the scarf or you’ll get detention!”

Sarah flinched at the sharp tone of Mrs Styrne’s voice. Everyone started at her. Her hands trembled when she unwrapped the scarf, revealing the dark bruise on her neck. It had become even more visible than before. People started whispering around Sarah. She tried to hold back tears. The expression on Mrs Styrne’s face softened slightly.

“You can put the scarf back on,” she said without looking at Sarah. “Just make sure all the tassels are inside your coat. I don’t want to see a single piece of yarn dangling in the beaker.”

Sarah wrapped the scarf around her neck and buttoned her coat up to the collar, but Mrs Styrne’s mercifulness came too late. The cat was already out of the bag. She felt the looks of other students in her back and heard the whispers some didn’t bother to muffle.

“Was that a hickey? Did she hook up with someone?”

“Sarah? Don’t be serious.”

“Where did she get it then?”

“I don’t think she has a boyfriend.”

“Who gave it to her then?”

“I’ve seen her hang out with the curly haired guy from 2C”

“She also spends time with Castiel.”

“Castiel? Don’t be ridiculous, he…”

“Everybody, quiet! These experiments require focus and accuracy!”

The students shut up but kept glancing at Sarah who was close to tears.

Jaime, who was sitting next to her, patted her shoulder gently and compassionately. He whispered a few comforting words to her.

Castiel’s stomach twisted. This was a disaster. Total opposite of what Sarah had wanted. There was no keeping secrets anymore. Everyone knew something was going on. The only positive thing was that they didn’t know who gave the mark to her. Yet.

Mercedes glared daggers at Sarah’s back. It was hard to believe someone so plain and uninteresting as Sarah would get a hickey from anyone. She had probably made it herself in order to look cooler. But a suspicion gnawed at the back of Mercedes’s head. Whoever had mentioned Castiel as the potential giver, had a point. He and Sarah spent an awful lot of time together, and for some weird reason Castiel seemed to like her. Mercedes couldn’t understand it, but surely Sarah wouldn’t be so stupid to get this close to Castiel when Mercedes had made it so blatantly clear that Castiel was meant for her. But she’d have to confirm it.

It was impossible for Sarah to focus on the rest of the class properly. After she added fifteen drops of salt water in their experiment liquid instead of four, she decided to give up and let Jaime finish it. Thanks to the extremely high salt amount, the experiment didn’t work out as it should’ve, but at least nothing blew up which Sarah was fully expecting. It would’ve fit in the theme of the day.

When the bell rang and Mrs Styrne let the students leave, Sarah packed her books and pens in record speed and dashed out of the room before anyone had time to ask questions. She considered skipping lunch, but the loud growl from her stomach advised otherwise.

While heading down the stairs, she felt a gentle touch on her hand. When she turned her head, Castiel was next to her.

“Meet me in the basement after lunch,” he whispered in her ear during the one step it took him to pass her, before trotting down the stairs. Leon followed closely behind.

“Sarah!”

Sarah flinched and turned to look who was calling her this time. Amanda and Lucy hurried after her, pushing other students out of their way. Some looked after them with annoyance.

“You. Lunch. With us. Right now,” Lucy said and grabbed Sarah’s arm. She didn’t have time to answer when the girls pulled her along to the cafeteria.

They managed to get to the cafeteria before the biggest rush thanks to Lucy bulldozing everyone out of their way. Sarah let herself to be pulled along like a ragdoll. Even though the main masses were still queueing their way in, the cafeteria was still full of noise as the students from the previous lunch slot were finishing their meals and trying to get out of the way of the third year students.

Sarah, Lucy and Amanda stopped at the end of the food line. Today’s meal was rice and beans with green salad. Not the worst thing since Sarah liked rice. She wasn’t the biggest fan of beans, but they weren’t terrible either, so she took a decent serving, not too much because they had PE next. Running and jumping with full stomach was not pleasant, even though they had over half an hour to digest their food.

While they walked through the cafeteria to one of the few empty tables, Sarah could feel eyes staring at her. At first, she thought it was just her imagination but every time she looked at some direction, someone turned their head away. Sarah bit the inside of her lip when she sat down. Lucy and Amanda had picked a secluded spot, a table that was mostly behind a big pillar.

“So, who gave it to you?” Lucy asked before Sarah could even take a first bite of her food.

“Lucy don’t be so brash,” Amanda chided. “We weren’t supposed to be grilling her about this.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just very curious. I didn’t expect you of all people to get a hickey. You seem so nice and quiet.”

Sarah sighed.

“You don’t need to tell,” Amanda said. “But if you want to talk, we’re here to listen.”

“Yeah. We want you to be alright. You have nothing to be ashamed of. People get hickeys all the time,” Lucy said. “People might talk about it now, but they’ll forget it soon once something more interesting happens. I can give you some make up to cover it if you want. We have pretty similar skin tone I think.”

“That’d be nice. Thank you.”

“Soooo…. who was it?”

“Lucy!”

“It was Castiel,” Sarah whispered and her face flushed red. Both girls stared at her in total loss of words. It took them several seconds to recover.

“Really? That’s, uh, wow. I didn’t expect that at all,” Lucy said, and the surprise was visible on her face.

“That’s so nice,” Amanda smiled. “I knew Leon knew something, but he didn’t tell me.”

“We wanted to keep low profile,” Sarah muttered. “So Castiel asked him to not tell anyone. He could’ve told you though.”

“It’s very like him to keep his promise to the fullest. If Castiel didn’t say he could tell me, he wouldn’t.”

“So, are you like dating?” Lucy asked while piercing three beans with her fork.

“Yes.”

“It’s about time he finds someone else after Rachel.”

“Mmmh.”

“Have you dated for long?”

“Only a couple of days.”

“Was it the baby project that brought you together?”

“Obviously… I wouldn’t even talk to him without it.”

“There was something good in it then. I thought it was a complete waste of time. I don’t want kids and I’m pretty sure Morgan doesn’t either.”

Lucy glanced at Amanda to seek confirmation to her words, but she just shrugged her shoulders.

“How would I know? You’re his girlfriend.”

“I was just thinking if he had told something to Leon.”

“Well if he has, I don’t know about it.”

“Fair enough,” Lucy sighed and skewered pieces of cucumber in her fork.

Sarah took the opportunity of Lucy being quiet to eat her own lunch. It proved to be a mistake because Lucy chewed faster than she did.

“So, have you done it already?” she asked.

Sarah inhaled rice in the wrong pipe and started to cough furiously. Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to not choke on rice.

“Lucy!” Amanda chided again, patting Sarah’s back to help her.

“I was just curious,” Lucy shrugged her shoulders. “She has a hickey so…”

“We haven’t done anything,” Sarah wheezed and took a gulp of water. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Right. Sorry…”

“It’s alright. I gotta go now. Thanks for keeping me company,” Sarah said.

She left the table with a half-finished plate before the others could say anything.

“You were too nosy again,” Amanda sighed. “You scared her away.”

“I know... It’s just in my blood. I can’t help it.”

“You should try sometimes.”

Sarah headed out of the cafeteria and towards the basement where Castiel wanted to meet her, but she was stopped on her tracks by three annoyed princesses. Mercedes glared at her while Victoria and Lind stood next to her with their arms crossed. They were leaning against a wall and when Sarah tried ignoring them and walk past, Mercedes kicked her leg straight in Sarah’s path, making her stumble and almost fall.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Mercedes asked.

“It’s none of your business really,” Sarah replied after recovering her balance.

“Pretty rough marks you have on your neck. I didn’t think you were that kind of girl, but I guess looks are deceiving.”

“What do you mean?”

Mercedes smiled but she wasn’t amused.

“That you’re a girl who jumps into anyone’s bed for little bit of attention.”

“And how do you know I did that?”

“Well it’s obvious. You couldn’t get a boyfriend so the only way to get some action is to do it with some random guy. Unless you did those marks yourself which would be even more embarrassing.”

“And how do you know it was some random guy?” Sarah asked with a smile on her face.

Mercedes narrowed her eyes.

“Who was it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Tell me!”

“Why should I? I can ‘get some action’ with whoever I want.”

“If I find out it was Castiel then I…”

“You what? I’m sorry Mercedes but it is none of your business. You’re the one who’s embarrassing. You should let go and move on.”

“How dare you! I’m thousand times more interesting than you’ll ever be! You’re so plain these walls are more exciting than you are. Castiel would never really get interested in you! He’ll move on once he realises how boring you are.”

“Keep telling that to yourself if it makes you feel better,” Sarah said, “but I have to go now. Unlike you, I have other things to do than torment innocent people.”

And with that, Sarah walked away. Her cheeks were burning, and her heart hammered in her chest from the adrenaline. She could hardly believe that she had said those things to Mercedes. But it had felt so good. Mercedes had no right to act like that, and it had been amazing to say back to her. But a small seed of doubt started to dig its way in her mind. Why did Castiel like her?

Mercedes was fuming. Sarah’s behaviour was outrageous. That kind of insolence was unacceptable.

“She’s being pretty arrogant,” Lind said.

“She thinks she’s something special after the attention she’s got from Castiel. I think she needs to be reminded of her place,” Victoria added.

“Definitely. She’ll remember where she stands and that Castiel is mine.”

Sarah glanced around to make sure no one was around when she opened the basement door and slipped inside. Castiel was already there waiting for her and got up from the floor when Sarah walked in. He had a serious expression on his face that made Sarah fidget.

“Hi,” she said.

Castiel didn’t say anything but crossed the distance between them with a few quick strides. He wrapped his arms around Sarah and pulled her against him.

“Castiel? Is something wrong?”

“I should ask that from you,” he replied and leaned his chin on Sarah’s head. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, I think.”

“You look a bit down.”

“I ran into Mercedes…”

“Oh great.”

“…and she wasn’t happy. At all.”

“What did she say?”

“Well, first she implied that I’m someone who’s ready to jump into anyone’s bed for attention. And then she kindly reminded me that I’m so boring you’d never like me and that she’s the only one for you.”

“For fuck’s sake. When does she understand I’m not interested in her?”

Sarah shrugged. “I doubt never. Unless you spell it out for her.”

“I don’t know if she’d understand spelling,” Castiel scoffed. “Her thick skull blocks any voice of reason.”

Sarah pushed herself away from Castiel to look him in the eyes.

“Why is she so obsessed with you anyway?”

“She’s been like that since we were kids,” Castiel sighed. “We were in the same second grade. She was small and quiet at that time. One day she was being bullied by some other boys. I stepped in and told them off, and ever since she’s been like that.”

“Oh, so you’re her hero.”

“I didn’t even try to be! The boys were just pissing me off, and I didn’t want to listen to their annoying voices.”

Sarah muffled a laugh. That sounded like something Castiel would do.

“And no matter how many times I tell her, she just doesn’t listen.”

“Maybe you just haven’t said it convincingly enough. She clearly still harbours some hope.”

“She shouldn’t. I’m not interested in her. She used to be nice I guess, but now she’s just a bitch, being mean to everyone and thinking she’s better than others.”

“Yeah, it’s annoying. But there has to be a reason she became like that.”

“I don’t know if there is and I don’t really care. She’s just a spoiled brat. Don’t listen to what she says. There’s nothing wrong with you, and I do like you for real. Switching to Mercedes would be a serious downgrade and I’m not about that.” Castiel laughed and kissed Sarah’s forehead. She smiled and in turn pressed a kiss on Castiel’s chin.

“I believe you,” she said. Castiel didn’t like Mercedes that much was clear to her.

“Good. And let’s forget Mercedes. I missed you,” Castiel hummed in Sarah’s ear and sent shivers down her spine.

“It’s been like three hours,” Sarah chuckled and let Castiel wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer again.

“Three hours too much,” he muttered against her neck and then kissed Sarah on the lips. Butterflies fluttered to flight in Sarah’s stomach. She smiled and threw her arms around Castiel’s neck. She had missed him too.

Sarah opened the basement door and peeked outside to see if there was anyone in the hallway. The coast was clear, so she slipped outside and Castiel followed behind her. Sarah felt like she was doing something forbidden sneaking around like this.

They were climbing the stairs when two guys Sarah didn’t know walked towards them. Sarah tensed and slowed down. The guys stopped their discussion when they noticed Sarah and Castiel.

“Hey, you’re that girl with the hickey, right?”

Sarah’s face flushed red. How did these two random people know about it? She didn’t even know which class they were from.

“What are you doing with Castiel? Is it really true that he gave it to you?”

Sarah’s stomach twisted. The rumours were already flying around the school. People already thought it was Castiel.

“What if I did?” Castiel asked and threw his arm around Sarah’s shoulders. Sarah flinched but couldn’t look at Castiel. “Are you jealous?” he added and smiled.

“Wha— no, I didn’t mean that. It’s totally fine if you’re doing that.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Sarah muttered. “We just happened to bump into each other. That’s all.”

She shook Castiel’s arm from her shoulder. It made her heart wrench.

“I’m sorry but I have to go, or I’ll be late from class,” she said then and pushed herself past the two guys. Castiel was left standing in the stairs. He looked after Sarah with a worried wrinkle in his brow.

Sarah hurried to the gym with uneasiness welling in her stomach. She felt bad for running away like that. Maybe she had hurt Castiel. She didn’t really know why she had panicked like that. If everyone was already suspecting she and Castiel were a thing, what would it matter if they found out? But she didn’t want anyone to know. If everyone knew, things would get more serious and more official. People would look at her differently. Mercedes would hate her more than she did now. If things didn’t work out, people would talk. She’d embarrass Castiel.

Almost all girls were already in the locker room when Sarah arrived. Gathered into their own friend groups, they were chatting and changing clothes. Sometimes they forgot the latter for a while and stood there half-dressed while talking about the latest gossip.

When Sarah walked in, all the talk quieted down for a moment and everyone looked at her. Colour rose back to Sarah’s face when she lowered her eyes to the floor and walked across the room to find the most secluded corner. Before she reached that spot, she was stopped by Lucy and Amanda who grabbed her arm.

“Sit with us,” Amanda said.

“You need to cover that mark, right,” Lucy added.

Sarah didn’t say anything but nodded. She dropped her bag on the bench and started to pull out her gym clothes: a simple t-shirt, grey joggers and shoes to be used indoors.

Unwrapping the scarf made Sarah’s heart thump in her chest. She tried to tell to herself that no one would care but she still had to glance at other people to see if they were looking. Most weren’t but few did look, and it made Sarah’s skin trickle with nervousness. She bit the inside of her lip and quickly brushed her hair to cover her neck.

She took off her shirt and while she was reaching for the other one, it fell down the chair. Sarah sighed and grouched to pick it up, brushing it quickly and pulling it on. Lucy pulled out her make-up kit and started working on Sarah’s neck, assuring her that the concealer would withstand physical exercise as long as Sarah wouldn’t sweat a waterfall.

When Sarah finished getting dressed, Mercedes quickly slipped her phone back in her bag, and Victoria and Lind moved from being an obstruction of view to the outsiders. Mercedes smiled. That stupid girl would soon learn her lesson and would regret touching Castiel.

Sarah’s legs ached when she walked home. They had played basketball, and Sarah had participated more than usual, even making contact with the guys in the struggle to get the ball. Venting all her frustration in the game had lightened her mood, but now she was slowly succumbing back to gloominess thanks to the post-exercise aches and not getting a chance to talk with Castiel. She felt guilty of leaving Castiel in the staircase. While she believed Castiel would understand, she would’ve wanted to talk about it with him. But he and Leon had decided to stay at school for band practice, so Sarah walked home alone. Although after the day’s events, it was probably for the best. By the last lesson of the day, biggest murmur around her had quieted down, and Sarah hoped people would’ve forgot everything before the end of the week, preferably tomorrow. Walking home with Castiel wouldn’t have been a smart choice.

“I’m home!” Sarah announced from the door. Steffie’s shoes weren’t under the coat rack, she must’ve been at friend’s house. Sarah hung up her coat and headed to the kitchen.

Mum was sitting at the table, looking serious. Sarah stopped at the door, hesitating to go in when mum looked at her. This didn’t promise good. Last time mum had looked like that, Sarah had failed a maths test in middle school because she had forgotten to study.

“Sit down,” mum said.

Sarah swallowed. Her heart was picking up a faster pace when she walked to the table and sat on the chair.

“We need to talk. Your attitude this morning was not good, and I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

“I’m not hiding anything. You’re just imagining things,” Sarah said, her voice fading towards the end of the sentence.

Mum narrowed her eyes. “Take off the scarf then.”

“What? Why is everyone telling me to take it off?”

“If you have nothing to hide then you can do it, right?”

Sarah bit her lip. If she started to argue, mum would just get more suspicious. And Lucy had covered the mark with concealer, so she’d be fine. It had lasted through all the sweating in PE. It wouldn’t fail her now.

“Fine,” Sarah muttered and pulled off her scarf. The edge of it was smudged light pink. Sarah’s heart dropped.

“Sarah! What is that?”

Sarah covered her neck with her hand. “Nothing.”

“Is…is it a hickey?”

“N-no.”

“Don’t lie to me. Who gave it to you?”

“Nobody. It’s not a hickey.”

“Didn’t I just say not to lie. Who was it?”

“C-castiel.”

“Castiel? The boy you did the baby thing with?”

“Yes.”

“I should’ve had guessed. They get to play family for a bit and all the hormones are going wild. Did he force you?”

“No! He didn’t. We…we’re dating.”

Mum looked like a fish in dry land. For a whole minute she didn’t know what to say. Sarah grew increasingly uncomfortable by every tick of the clock. She wanted to get out.

“Da-dating? How long?”

“A few days.”

“And he already did that?”

“It was an accident. He didn’t mean to.”

“But you were doing things that led to it?”

“…Yes, kinda.”

“No, absolutely no. I will not allow that!”

“What? Didn’t you always want me to get a boyfriend?”

“I didn’t mean you’d have to jump in bed right away!”

“I didn’t jump in bed with him!”

“Well you did something! Does your dad know?”

“About Castiel? …Yes.”

“You told him first and not me?”

“I didn’t mean to! He found out by accident. I wouldn’t have told anyone yet! And for the record, he took this much better than you.”

“Probably because your neck wasn’t bitten to bruises.”

“Why are you like that? I thought you’d be happy, but you just shout at me! I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I’m just worried you jump into things too soon. I don’t know the boy. How am I supposed to take this?”

“I don’t know? Calmly like a normal person? Do you really think I can’t look after myself? I’m already eighteen!”

“I just want you to…”

“But don’t worry, with the example I’ve got from home I probably can’t make this relationship last long.”

“Sarah!”

Sarah jumped from the chair so fast it almost fell.

“Thank you for being so supportive, mum,” she hissed and marched to her room, slamming the door shut so hard it shook the mirror in the hallway.

Sarah’s head was spinning when she threw herself on her bed. She clenched her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. She buried her face in the pillow, so it’d absorb the tears. Was nobody happy for her? Was she just making a fool of herself by being with Castiel? He made her happy but was she doing the same? Maybe Castiel didn’t want to hide the relationship. She had pushed him away. What if he didn’t like it? She didn’t want to hide, but the thought of everyone knowing made her anxious. What if Castiel would grow tired of waiting? Sarah didn’t know when she would be ready. Castiel deserved better.

There was a knock on the door. Then another.

“Sarah? I’m sorry for shouting. Can we talk more, please?”

Sarah didn’t reply. Mum knocked again.

“Sarah?”

She curled into tighter ball around the pillow she was hugging. Mum knocked few more times before giving up.

Sarah sighed. Was she making a mistake?