Stepping off the plane, back on American soil was the most surreal moment in my life up to that point. For the first time I had flown barely noticing that we were moving for takeoff or landing, my mind couldn't seem to distance itself from the intense memory of Tammy's last day alive, especially the shattering glass and sounds of her being roughly abducted. It certainly put many things that I used to fear into perspective. Was flying really all that terrifying compared to knowing you had been literal seconds from the path to your death?

"Elsie!" My father shouted over the hectic sounds of the airport.

My brain half snapped out of the fog I was in, enough for me to pick up the pace towards him into a slow trot. I still hadn't fully shaken off the physical symptoms of shock, though it had been over forty-eight hours since I heard the devastating news.

"I've never been so happy to see you," he said, nearing choking on his tears.

Dad wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me like I might slip away from him and vanish at any second. The shoulder of my top became damp and my own eyes began to water, I had barely held it in all flight and I definitely didn't have the strength to continue through his crying.

"Are you okay?" He pulled away from me, grasping me by the shoulders while he searched the front of me for any signs something bad to happened.

"I'm okay," I insisted, though I don't think I was very convincing with tears running down my cheeks.

"It's going to be okay now," he reassured. "Had I thought anything would have happened like this I would have never let you go."

I shook my head and wanted to tell him not to think that way, but I was already exhausted again and didn't want to argue with anyone. It felt like gravity had been turned up and I was the only one who noticed.

Touching paternal moment completed, he took my hand and walked me slowly to baggage claim. We waited in silence while the carousel spit out the luggage from the flight and I weakly pointed to both my tan bag and Tammy's bright blue bag. My heart was heavy as my father took her bag from the conveyor and a look of understanding passed over his face. His eyes flitted to me with a look of pity and he handed my bag to me, but kept hers out of my sight next to him.

I had never been so relieved to see the old minivan, I don't know why it specifically triggered a feeling of being safe, but as soon as I slid into the passenger's seat it was like a wall had fallen between my brain and the emotions I had separated off. I started sobbing, barely keeping it together enough to pull my seat belt over my shoulder and lock it in. My father secured the luggage in the backseat, then slide into the driver's seat and placed a hand on my shoulder. He breathed in sharply like he was going to say something, but I held up my hand to stop him.

"Please," I sobbed, "let's just go home."

He turned on the van and pulled away, putting distance between us and the airport as I sobbed harder than I ever had in my life. I couldn't put it out of my mind that I had come back without her and that when she did return, it would be inside a casket. It felt so terrifying and unfair that I found myself doubting the very reality of the world around me. It seemed like nothing made any sense and that it all had to be just a very long nightmare, that perhaps sometime soon I would wake up feverish and screaming, but Tammy would still be there, alive and well.

Back in the apartment, dad pointed me towards my room and marched me forward by gently pushing my back. He guided me all the way to my bed, which I gratefully climbed into and curled up into a ball. He let out a long sigh, hesitating for a moment at the door before disappearing to bring in the luggage. I had intended to ask him for a drink of water when he returned, but I was mercifully asleep not long after he left.

When I woke up, it was pitch black in my room. Peeling my tear-stained face from the bedspread, I sat up, feeling completely out of place and confused. I had to sit and center myself until I remembered that I was back home and in my room. Desperately thirsty, I wobbled my way to the kitchen and drank three full glasses of water, regretting that I was chugging them so fast as soon as the third glass settled uneasily in my stomach. I stood frozen by the sink, feeling like if I moved even my pinky toe, I might throw up all the water I had just drank. While I stood there waiting for the feeling to pass, I noticed Tammy's bag sat next to the kitchen table. I let out a long sigh and wondered what I was going to do with it, in my panicked distress to get back home, I had let the consulate deal with contacting Tammy's family, I had no idea who they were or where they were.

Stomach somewhat settled, I sat at the kitchen table and pulled the bag to sit in front of me. I looked at it a moment, considering if looking inside would seem sketchy, but I couldn't think of any other way to possibly figure out how to get it to her family. I unzipped the main pocket and sorted through the clothes and other travel essentials that were neatly packed and labeled. At the very bottom was a key chain in the shape of the state of Nebraska with a single key attached, luckily for me she had labeled it "office." Searching through the rest of the bag, I couldn't find anything else that would identify anyone related to her. Her cell phone and laptop had stayed with the investigators as evidence, so there was no luck to be had there either. The only solid idea I had was to maybe go to her office at the university and leave her bag there for her family to find. Unable to sleep any longer and out of a desire to get the bag out of my sight, I swung it over my shoulder and left a hastily scribbled note on the kitchen table telling my dad where I was.

The air was humid and still tepid from the day's heat, but I appreciated how mild it was compared to how bad it could be. There weren't many people on the way to campus, it helped that the bars and other late night drinking spots were on the other end of town and most summer classes were done online. At the biology building, I spent several minutes scanning over the board where all the professors and their offices were located. It would have made sense if the board had been in alphabetical order, but instead they went with numerical, so I had to read nearly ever line until I found that Tammy was in room 216.

I hesitated after putting the key into the door, I really didn't have a right to intrude on what used to be her private office. Her family should really be the ones to breach the barrier, but this was the easiest and quickest solution for me, so my own convenience won out, as dirty as that felt. I closed the door behind me softly and flipped on the single light in the room, illuminating the work of her entire career. Trying not to look at anything, I pulled out the chair at her desk and slipped her bag from my shoulders to the chair. I placed the key on the desk and considered leaving a note about how it got there, but found that I couldn't bring to mind what I would even say.

My heart skipped a beat as a soft knock rapped on the door. I stood frozen, like an animal hoping that the predator only hunts by movement. The knock came again and it slowed trickled into my mind that they knew someone was in here, the light was clearly on and I hadn't been trying to muffle my movements, it was silly to keep up the charade.

"Dr. Phillips," said a tall, foreboding man as soon as I opened the door.

Fear ran through me as soon as I looked up to meet his gaze. It was a stranger in the middle of the night looking for Tammy, not exactly the situation I wanted to replay. My self preservation wanted me to badly deny that I was Dr. Phillips, but I again found myself frozen. He had a salt and pepper beard and professional hair cut, the generic cut that it seemed most male professors wore at one time or another. Despite his obvious academic appearance, I didn't recognize him at all, not even in passing somewhere on campus.

Without another word or verifying who I really was, the man shoved a thick manila envelope into my hand, nodded his head at me and left, not offering any insight into who he was or what he wanted. Once he turned the corner of the hallway, I found myself able to move again and I slowly closed the door. The envelope was heavy for its size and had a strange seal over the opening. It looked like a depiction of a mermaid, but with octopus tentacles instead of a tail. It seemed like a very odd choice for anything academic related.

I knew I shouldn't have, but for some reason I felt like I had to know what the package contained. I carefully lifted the bottom part of the sticker so as to be able to replace it later and slide out the sheet directly on top. The document looked to be a cover letter addressed to Tammy from the International Society For the Advancement of Crypto-Biology. My eyes went wide as I read the name of the sender over and over again, there was no way something like this could really exist. Waiting for some part of the letter to be an obvious joke, I read it in its entirety, but instead of finding what I thought would be there, it was a letter congratulating Tammy on being inducted into the society for her continued, passionate contributions to the crypto-biology world.

I had to sit down. I sunk into the chair opposite her desk and began to pull out the other papers in the envelope. They were all documents on how to proceed and methods to keep in contact with the society. I had in my hands an open ticket to joining an elite, secretive society of my dreams, a place where real science and imagination were melded into a thing off beauty. The only problem was that it was addressed to Tammy and not me. However, I found myself wondering if they had ever seen Tammy in person. By the sound of it she had been submitting research and papers to the society, but there was no mention anywhere of any video calls or meetings... maybe, just maybe...