《I Have A Dagger》5-Selfishness And Shivving

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The sun shined through the forest trees, warming my cheeks as I leaned on my shovel. I saw the carriage sitting here. All the bandits I daggered lay strewn outside the forest treeline. Under the trees lay eight open graves. This morning's work. Labor is its own reward. It's also to please Pixie.

She dragged the knight's corpses, one by one, with full armor still on, into their graves. She carefully added their swords. I set to work laying dirt on them. Pixie grabbed the other shovel, pitching dirt.

I wanted to ask her what they had to die for, about the Demon Vicar. If her efforts are necessary. I knew that this wasn't the time. Especially not today. I looked over to the treeline where we stashed our gear for tonight. Pixie's specialized flanged mace I had custom-made for her lay across her pack.

See, I didn't want her getting desperate and rallying help to kill me, promising them a future reward. So, I'm paying for the inn and meals now. I also wanted her to stop dying. That way, she'd have less desperation in the first place. Consulting with Vizar, I came up with a good plan.

We finished up burying her knights in the early morning. Pixie kneeled in front of the eight graves.

"I wish I could have had buried you all as you deserved. I will send for proper burials when I take the throne."

Pixie rose, taking up her mace. She picked up her own, lighter, pack. She set off with me. It's time for her training.

First, I'd go snatch a bunny, squirrel, something small. Then I'd stab it as close to death. I would then present the dying cute animal in front of Pixie, who, with regret, would deliver the finishing blow. Her mace would tinge pink as it took lifeforce.

"This is working. This is working." She says to steady herself.

She's worried. I'm helping her through a hard time. I'm a good— well, not a good person, but, this is the best for her and me to keep both of us as far from death as possible. This way of lifeforce taking I came up with Vizar's help allows her to extend her life. At the cost of her pride and ethics, yes, but she'll live longer.

I actually found a boar. Felt proud of myself. My level 24-ness paid off. Dragging it back full of dagger holes, I daggered the boar further.

"Isn't, isn't that, a little..." Pixie drew back.

"You can do it." I told her. I don't know if she can or not, so I made sure the boar was one good stab away from death before I told her to finish it.

Her face wrinkled. She took heart. Shuffling to the boar, she raised her mace high, swinging it down she expended a small amount of lifeforce powering up her mace. It tinged pink, forming a bond with the boar's lifeforce as it hit. The boar died with her mace's blow.

The Princess raised her mace, flexing it in her hands. "I felt it. All this morning, even when you were using your dagger. It feels the same as my training when I would drain flowers."

She looks healthier. Tired and worried, but lively. Strange of her to say 'even when using your dagger.' There's no lifeforce gain to her if she doesn't hit it herself, is there? Unless, that's the real effect behind [Curses Into Blessings] change on [Carnation].

I did an experiment. I told her to wait here and tell me if she felt something. I snuck off and daggered a bunny to death. Coming back, she nodded.

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"A little lifeforce. Felt like when I ended the life of one of the hares earlier."

Seals the deal. Lifeforce drain to Pixie via my stabs must be the (Blessing) effect. I'll take it up with Vizar.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

Pixie resolved herself. Then, she gripped her mace with both hands. We headed towards the bandit camp. Flynn ran across some information from scouts about where they were holed up. Lbesslaum Guild wanted to launch a coordinated assault on them, but there's some demons hanging around town.

Pixie hadn't said anything about revenge against the bandits for the death of her knights. I just thought that they would be good drain targets for lifeforce.

She got a boar okay. So a bandit might be fine, too. And now, if she starts having adverse effects from her lifeforce drain, I can cull them as I please and still stock her lifeforce with [Carnation](Blessing).

It's a good sign that she hasn't had any adverse effects. Vizar warned me that my plan, while brilliant, could backfire and take more lifeforce from her in the brief time her and her target's lifeforce were linked. Experiments Vizar read about in books with Royal Magic and similar methods ended poorly. The magic user would expend too much lifeforce on the spell to kill the target. Royals would die from overcasting with their own lifeforce instead of stealing lifeforce.

Which is why my idea for having Pixie focus her magic into the custom mace changed everything. Pixie could only funnel a small amount of Royal Magic through a tiny hole drilled in the bottom of the mace that lead all the way to the top. The flanges on the mace were hollowed out, so her magic would spread into the metal of the weapon right before she delivered her blow. Little lifeforce in, lot of lifeforce gained.

We circled around the trees around the bandit camp. No sign of the horses they stole. I was hoping I could snatch them back and turn them into money. Pixie and I made camp on a cliff overlooking them while we waited for nightfall.

As dusk hit, the bandits quenched their fires. A huge one, dead ringer for sledgehammer bandit, wandered around the camp, patting bandits on their backs and raising his axes to the sky, cheering. "Hjallmar" they called him. They've been loud today. Then, I saw the demon.

A black impish creature. It winged in from above, heading straight for Hjallmar. The bandits went about their business as if this was normal. The imp and Hjallmar exchanged a small scroll, then the imp took to the sky. We ducked closer into the brush, hoping to avoid discovery.

"Bandits, working with Demons?" I said.

Pixie nodded her head. "My father believes demons are capable of peace. There is only a coming civil war. He has doomed our people."

Sounds involved. I let her comment die. Caring about the good of a bunch of strangers, what's the good in that? Isn't it better to dagger who you can, get what you can, and survive for yourself?

We snagged some spare bandits who snuck out of camp for dubious reasons. I daggered them down with as little noise as I could manage. Two bandits, bandits of the kind who slew her loyal knights, lay before her.

Pixie gripped her mace tight in both hands, hovering over the dying bandits. She's wavering. They are human. They have humanity going for them. For the Princess, before today, killing flowers and undead was her biggest achievement.

I'm supportive. So, I thought of something unnecessarily cool to say to her right now. I think she'll buy it. It's going to be a little painful to say out loud, but then, I am trying to talk her into killing to save her own life. And, by extention, save mine, from her desperation.

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"We know joy because of pain. Your knights would kill these bandits for you with no hesitation. Now, it's your turn to do what they no longer can. You must suffer their share of the burden." My painfully pseudo-wise posing failed on Pixie. She seemed more shaken than before. Oops.

Pixie's voice warbled. "Is this, justice? Is this right?"

"No, no, this is survival. Whatever reasons you have for taking out the Demon Vicar, this is where you are right now. Do this, so you can live. Isn't that enough?"

Pixie looked down. "Perhaps, I made so many fatal mistakes. My knights have died, but why? For a foolish and sheltered princess chasing some unobtainable goal. All my efforts to save my kingdom have failed. All my knights have left me. Is it better to die here?"

Maybe she really has no intent of killing me to survive at all. Disappointing! I rounded in front of her.

"They are dying. Look at them. This is what scum looks like. They have nothing in this world. They take from people. They are ugly, scared little rats. Whatever you want to accomplish doesn't matter, before all that, you are a Princess, a Princess who summoned Heroes with your life. You have your desires, and I have mine. If those two scum had their way, we'd be the ones on the ground. They don't need their lives. You do."

Pixie met my eyes. Her determination is rising. "Like my knights. Like my knights, I will defend my kingdom's people from the Demons?"

Sure, if that works for you, have at it. That was my thinking. It's not the right thing to say to her. She wants to hear one answer. That this is fine. That it's okay to kill humans to live. She lived her whole life draining flowers because she was told that was her purpose. She wants me to tell her this is what justice looks like, that this is her purpose. And I, well, I am not someone who sacrifices for justice.

"Like your knights," I stepped away.

The Princess raised her mace before the quivering unconscious forms. With a spurt of effort, she ended them with mercifully heavy blows.

She stood above them, breathing hard. Blood on her face, she turned around, angry. "You are lying to me. What it is about, is beyond me. I am no knight. You misled me. There is something twisted and sick within you."

Current situation and strained emotions aside, it's not like I disagree. You can call my actions whatever you want. Greed for power through levels, the desire to survive, hoarding riches, taking joy in daggering. It comes down to the same thing.

"I'm your Hero. That much, is true. But, I agree I'm not the best person. It's no problem if you want to fight it out, here and now. If you kill me now using the lifeforce you gained today, you won't have to worry about surviving. Our bond through your magic will be broken when I'm dead. I can promise you, Princess, I won't go easy on you."

"Selfish. You care for no one but yourself. My whole kingdom could burn and you'd be looting the ashes." Pixie tighented her grip on her mace. "Stuck up prick, with your only duty being to your dagger." Pixie spat. "Why don't you go shiv rabbits until you die alone?"

Eh, she's taking it out on me now. I understand. It's not as easy for her as it was for me when I first killed. Me, I lived in a world where the danger of survival is a foreign entity. Games were my only exposure to real violence. Bandits are just experience points and gold. Now that I'm here, with my dagger, I just applied what I understood about my life to this world's rules.

"You're right about me." I told her. "So. What will you do? I'm only living for myself. If you want to live for someone else, shouldn't you live for yourself first?"

Pixie grumbled, sheathing her mace, she picked up her pack. "Fine." She said. She left the bandit's corpses behind. Then, she stopped, turned. "You are the worst type of person. But, you saved me. For now. Thank you."

She reverts to her manners to feel in control, how princess-like. I followed her back to town. We shared the same bed. Like I would pay for two rooms. Pixie kept kicking me while she slept. Small bed.

Days were filled with hunting wildlife with Pixie. Nights with bandit hunting. The first night, we ambushed patrols. Second night, Pixie set fire to their camp with a low-cost ranged fire spell Vizar taught her. They chased us into the woods, finding nothing but trees. We waited in a thicket down by a river until they were tired from searching for us, then picked off stragglers. By the third night, I snuck into the camp in disguise, searching for the horses. Daggered silently until an uproar came, then I skipped out.

Pixie's magic control got good. Vizar said her lifeforce is overflowing, that he'd never seen anything like it. She could fire a pink pellet at high speed out of the bottom of her mace.

We attacked again. She covered me with fire from above, sniping bandits. I sowed mayhem from tent to tent. Then Hjallmar came with his axes. I got spooked by his speed and size, he practically picked me up and threw me out of camp.

Of course we visited next day. It's hard to loot these bandits while under attack, but I tried. Trinket here, weapon there. I left the fallen daggers behind to honor those who used them in life. Made a decent stockpile of boar kills and reported them to Flynn. He hired porters to head out and collect the corpses. Cash situation went well, so I started paying the Princess more allowance.

She doesn't look happy when I give her money anymore. Maybe I should stop? It's painful to see her like this.

But! What's important is that the bandits are dying, right? After a week of visiting them, the bandits outright camped in ranks, weapons out, waiting for us to attack. So, we gave up.

I woke up next evening to the smell of burning. Saw bandits running by out of the inn window. Tore Pixie out of bed, making her squeak as I gathered up my gear. Pixie took up her mace. The burning smell seems further off. Did we piss the bandits off so much they'd take on the Guild?

We woke the dwarf, told him to get out. Taking one look out a window, he zoomed into his cellar. We stole out onto the streets. Screams and fire raged in the distance. Dead silence filled the gaps.

Running through the streets we headed towards Vizar's. Bandits popped out in thick groups, blocking our way, and we ducked down alleys to avoid them. Pixie took the lead, knowing the streets better than I did.

Travelling through an alley, she rounded a corner, then shoved me back, joining me in the dark. Orange light filled the town square outside the alley. Large beasts tramped about, wings, huge teeth, thick muscles, strange colored skins, fur and tails and fangs. Demons.

A roaring fire lit the center of the town square. Hjallmar debated with a demon. Townspeople lay littered about between looting bandits and packs of demons. From what I could hear, they were losing. Hjallmar wanted to keep looting, but the demon thought he was insane. The demon wanted to run.

"Those monsters are ripping us apart, why did you tell me this town has no defenses! Instead you've caught us in a trap!"

Hjallmar and the demon soon fell to blows. The bandits around him drew swords and set to attacking the demons. Hjallmar stood triumphant over the demons corpse.

We watched too long. A fleeing demon shot into our alley, skipping past me, its yells gave away our position. Bandits clogged the exit to the alley, slaying the escaping demon, then pressed in towards Pixie and I.

We ran into the town center, a chaos of demons and bandits ripping each other apart. Hjallmar's eyes set on me through the crowd, and he streamed towards us. I drew my dagger, shiving something large and furry to death as it attacked, keeping an eye on Pixie.

The bandits behind us closed in. Hjallmar waved his axe at them, "Kill these dirty rats! I'll take this dagger-bastard!"

Hjallmar's axes went right for my neck. I jumped back, too late. A moment later he reeled back, a pink light hitting him. I turned, looking for a way out, but Hjallmar caught up to me again, swinging his axes he gashed my arm, knocked me back, toppling me. A broad strike that would have cleaved me in two passed in front of me, another pink flash hitting him.

Hjallmar winched, struck. He shrugged me off like a fly. Sailing through the air, I crunched down into a rat demon, daggering it to death as it fought back in a frenzy. A bandit swung for my head, I blocked with my dagger's hilt, cutting guts free as I rose.

Pixie knocked her mace into Hjallmar's back. He swirled on her, giving me a chance to land a few backstabs. Hjallmar's axes swirled with his body, crunching me to the ground with one foot. His weight pressed into his leg as I stabbed it, squishing my chest down.

And it snapped. I saw my body snap in half, my ribs cave in, my heart squish. I felt it, and then, it happened again. And again. Hjallmar's weight stomped through me, again and again, and I though I died. Each time, I felt dead. Each time, the event repeated.

A big pink ball soared into Hjallmar's back, knocking his body over me. An arm looped around my armpit, dragging me back. A shield loomed in the corner of my vision.

"Scott!"

A 'where the hell were you' would take time that could be better spent daggering. I am glad enough that my chest is free of squishing. Scott pulled me upwards, backing into me with his shield up. I turned and ran through a bandit who went for him, kicking the bandit in his gut to give us space.

Pixie ran straight into us, a small army chasing her back. I shot into them, dagger held high.

"Scott!" I yelled for his careful attention. The mob in front of me fell quickly, the pressing of the bodies behind them didn't give them much chance to fight back as I chose my stabs carefully to get as many on the ground as I could, forming a heap of corpses. The rest tangled and tripped over each other in their mad rush. I turned, rushing back to their side out of fear they would be overwhelmed while my dagger was elsewhere.

Hjallmar had his axes buried in Scott's shield. Scott pushed forward, knocking his shield into Hjallmar's legs. Hjallmar knocked into Scott with body. Scott, dazed, backed off, with Pixie behind him. I ran after them.

We stood clumped together in the chaos of the battle, keeping an eye for new attackers. Pixie shot off her pink pellets into anyone, and anywhere. Scott corrected her misses in the fray into hits with his ability. I faced Hjallmar, tapping on Scott to request backup.

Hjallmar roared and charged forward. An arrow took him through his skull. The arrow, the arrow in his skull failed to stop him. He swung in, I surged forward, yelling for Scott to save my ass lest I get squished again. My dagger caught against his muscles again and again. Despite more arrows piling into Hjallmar, his speed picked up.

Each dagger strike pierced all the way through. My body got cut in two countless times, each time the grace of Scott allowed me to have the courage to keep my dagger stabbing. I swept through Hjallmar's blows, heading straight for his joints this time. No matter how strong he is, joints are a weakpoint. My dagger blade struck home, causing Hjallmar's bulk to waver.

Hjallmar toppled, a mound of arrows in him. "Brother...".

I swept off to Pixie and Scott to find Flynn in the fray. He was walking with two daggers, nimbly and elfishly cutting down bandits and demons. Two huge warriors were wrecking everything in sight while I caught a glimpse of a bow elf raining arrows down on those from above. Vizar, too, along with the brown robed healer Geradt, were pressing in behind the warriors. Lightning strikes singed the stone of the town center. The entire field of battle snapped their heads towards the hunting party of Lblesslaum Guild. They ran. Bandits and demons ran over each other trying to squeeze out of the town center.

Flynn gave me a friendly wave and a smile as he passed, chasing down an oversized mouse with his cheese dagger. Geradt ambled past, sneering at Scott.

Scott slapped me on the back. "In jail, sorry." As if an excuse was the first thing he wanted to tell me. I didn't bother asking for an explanation. We chased after the Guild, taking the opportunity to join the mop-up crew. I got swept along in the excitement, Pixie leading the way with Scott trailing. A busy night for my dagger lasted late into the morning with the hunting party.

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