“I won’t let you take her away!”

Klaria yelled at her husband. Holding little Erin in her arms, determined to protect her at all cost. Her bedchambers were empty of servants as they were sent away by her husband.

“Be reasonable, you know as well as I, she will never survive.”

Mandar didn’t yell at his wife, knowing it will do him no good.

“She will!”

Klaria shouted back, turning to look at the little girl in her arms.

“I will make sure she does.”

She finished with a soft voice, as the child started to sob, she wrapped her hands around her baby, trying to ease her pain.

“Yes? And how are you going to do that? She is blind! You can’t be with her all the time, and what will happen when you aren't around anymore?”

Mandar raised his voice, not being used to his wife defying him so vehemently, he was at loss of how to deal with her.

It was more than clear to her as well, a blind girl like her wasn’t going to survive in the Ashte. She won’t survive in this world when left on her own, it was better to end her suffering now, rather than to prolong the inevitable.

Klaria wanted to shout back, that he was wrong, that it was not true, anything was better than death, but she couldn't, biting her lower lip she whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“Then,” Mandar started.

“But! There is no way, you killing her now is the better solution!”

“And what do you expect me to do? To watch you spent the rest of your life locked away with this girl?!”

“She is not just any girl! She is your daughter, our daughter! Can’t you see, I have finally given you a child and now you want to take her away.”

Klaria's voice turned pleading, knowing she didn’t have the kind of strength to truly oppose her husband.

“She is no daughter of mine!”

He couldn’t stop the words from escaping his mouth. The sound of his voice forced Mandar's face into a panicked grimace, looking at the stricken face of his wife, regret clenched his gut. Lifting his left hand he took a step closer.

“Klaria-”

With a frost in her voice which he didn’t hear in years, she spat in a whisper.

“Get out.”

“Klaria, I-”

“Get out! How dare you tell me she is not yours? Whose do you think she is?!”

Klaria’s face was flushed and hot with tears running down her cheeks. The little girl in her arms joined her mother in cries resonating in the small chamber.

Klaria went to her knees cradling her baby girl, there wasn’t a day she didn’t cry and Klaria could feel the strain on her body wearing her down. Chipping at her strength day after day, her shoulders shook with anxiety and fear of every arriving day.

The worst of it was that her husband wasn’t wrong, she contemplated the option over many nights. Almost every single one, over the last dozen days and she hated herself for it.

Frustrated, Mandar stormed out of the room, passing servants at the door, who all lowered their faces, waiting for instructions from their mistress.

Trying to calm the turmoil in her heart Klaria started humming a melody she learned more than thirty years ago from her mother. It was about the only thing that seemed to calm the little Erin from her anguish.

She dreaded this day, knowing she couldn't keep it a secret any longer.

After twenty years of trying to get pregnant with her husband who was more than a decade younger, they both gave up on having children.

Mandar didn’t care what others said behind his back, he never took a concubine into his bed or laid his eyes on other women which could give him children.

Accepting nobody would continue their line, they decided to move to Ashte ten years ago, the militarised border city in Atagare territory, was their main clan's most important defensive city. And her husband was leading the city in the protection of borders from Ferelis clan.

But then, a year and a half ago, she became unexpectedly pregnant. It was during the night of Sanrae and even though the goddess didn’t enjoy much popularity these days, Atagi household saw it as good omen and blessing from Sanrae to their house.

When the girl was born Mandar was mildly annoyed, for it wasn’t a son, but Klaria suspected it was just a face he showed to the other men, as he was thrilled every time he saw the little girl.

Glad his wife survived hard childbirth and both the girl and Klaria were healthy he decided not to care what his child was, naming the girl Erin, after his late mother.

Klaria was elated, she stopped hoping for a child when she turned forty, but now she had a baby girl. Most of the time she spent in joy, fretting over the little girl, torn between being afraid which come as part of the motherhood and joyful at the same time.

But as the days passed it soon become obvious there was something wrong with Erin. She was always crying if she didn’t bring herself to exhaustion or was too hungry to cry she would wail her sorrow into the world without a break.

Klaria was at loss of what to do, and even midwives weren’t any help determining the cause. About the only thing that worked to calm Erin was when Klaria sang her song or when she held her close to her body sharing the warmth.

Klaria decided to spend all of her time with Erin. To Mandars chagrin, he finally, after all those years, discovered what other men meant about there being no bedtime with women when a child is born into the house. Which prompted him into mild annoyance every time she rejected him, claiming she needed to be with her daughter.

Klaria spent all her days in the bedchamber's, which she seldom used before if ever, always sleeping in the same bed with her husband, enjoying his arms around her belly.

Eventually, she noticed something strange, Erin almost never opened her eyes. And even when she did, she seemed to look at nothing, not reacting to light, colors or toys, never really looking at her mothers face.

Klaria knew what it meant, but was too scared to say anything, so she remained silent, hoping she was somewhat wrong. Praying to Sanrae for help, to cure her little daughter. She spent countless times between cursing the goddess for her children misery and thanking her for giving her the child in the first place.

Klaria didn’t know what to expect at first, afraid of what could happen to the child, she resolved herself to protect Erin at all cost.

When Mandar started spending more time around his daughter, it was one of the only times he could hold his wife and feel her soft skin.

Noticing the little girl would never look at him he went to the midwife, demanding to know what was wrong, learning his daughter would never see the light of the day brought him great pain. He decided to take her into the forest, to animals who could release her from her damaged body.

It might have been just selfishness from her side, as she knew she would never have another baby. And was willing to leave the house and husband she loved more than anything she ever knew. But now there was her child, little Erin, who would die without someone looking after her at all times.

Steeling herself Klaria knew Mandar was right, she may be able to spend Erin’s childhood with her. But eventually, there would be situations where her position or age won’t allow her to be near Erin.

There was just no way she could leave the blind girl alone. She might not be able to be with her daughter at all times, but there is someone who can. As the plan slowly started forming in her mind Klaria looked at the door.

“Haruka!”

“Yes, my lady?”

Short, homely women with yellow hair come inside the room. Bowing at the waist with both hands placed on top of each other in front of her thighs. She wore white hanfu with a dark red hem on the sleeves and the bottom of the dress.

“Haruka, how far is the process of choosing new maids for the mansion?”

Klaria looked at the servant girl with a new determination in her face.

“My lady?”

Haruka was startled, lady of the house seldom concerned herself with new servants for the house. It was usually the role of the senior house woman. The lady then just chose the ones she liked for her own servants, Haruka being one of them.

Seeing Klarias finely trimmed eyebrows rise in question Haruka hurried to answer.

“The newest chosen ones by the senior are three months in training, nowhere near ready for the service my lady.”

“Perfect, I want to meet them tomorrow, let the instructors know to have them ready.”

Haruka was little stunned by Klaria’s reaction, not allowing herself another slip, she schooled her face into the proper expression quickly. Bowing again the servant girl left the room to convey the message.

Looking at the girl in her arms, the little Erin was finally sleeping peacefully again. The fact that Erin almost always cried herself into the sleep brought tears to her eyes.

Gently putting her daughter into the crib from white oaks, Klaria wiped her tears with light green hanfu which reminded her of the grass in the morning dew.

Leaving the bedchamber's, she nodded to her serving girls, two of them followed their mistress and three stayed behind to look after their future lady