《The Lord of the Stars》Chapter 12 - Nightmare

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Fire!

Sirens ringing. People screaming and running. Cries of pain and agony. Blood flowing in the streets. Skyscrapers collapsing like houses of cards. Windows shattering. Bolts of fire ravaging the urban landscape, causing thunderous explosions that shook the ground.

Amidst the devastation that ruined the grand city, a lone figure was standing in the middle of a road and gazing at the destruction unfolding around him; John.

The screams and cries of people around him were deafening yet he could single out some of them in his mind, allowing him to create mental images of the tragedies all around him. A child screaming for her parents to save her, a woman crying over the dead body of her husband, a young man pleading the Gods for mercy.

Pain

Horror

Guilt

Untold guilt…

“Did I cause all of this?” he couldn’t help but ask himself. No reply came. Only the thunderous roars of laser bolts bombarding the city and the screams of the dying.

John was sweating; his sweat was icy cold. ‘I did this,’ he thought to himself. ‘If they weren’t after me or if I had left with Iris instead of delaying with the futile attempt to save my parents, all those people would have been alive and Arcadis wouldn’t have been destroyed. I caused this destruction, even if it was indirectly. I did it.’

A bolt of fire came his way. John closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was surrounded by a dark mist. He scratched his head, trying to figure out how he survived the bolt of fire and how he got there, but he had no idea. John walked forward, trying to find a way out of the mist. Suddenly he stumbled before two figures that shocked him; his parents. Jonathan and Martha. They were deathly pale and blood was dripping from their eyes. They were pointing their fingers at him.

John was gaping in fear. His face was ashen white. His heartbeat raced. Fear. Fear mingled with guilt. He had seen before that dream, in K-L556. Yet it remained every bit as shocking and terrifying.

“You are not real!” John screamed. “It is just a hallucination. It… it is caused by my guilt.”

“You feel guilt because you caused our death!” Jonathan barked. “You caused the death of your own parents. Look at us. If it wasn’t for you, we would have still been alive. It is because they wanted you, that we were killed.”

John tried to turn around and ran away. As he was running, a sight before him caused him to stumble and fall on the ground. It was Wang Jiadi beating up a young woman who owed money to the mafia. The bleeding woman looked at John with a cold stare of hatred and loathing. “You help him do this!” she screamed.

“I do not,” John protested. “I simply agreed to fight in a tournament. I have… I have nothing to do with any of this. Please! Believe me!”

“You indirectly help this monster.”

“I need to find a way to leave this planet,” John explained, his hands trembling and cold sweat overtaking him. “I have with me files that can aid in bringing down the evil Helian regime and save countless of… lives.”

The woman collapsed, dead. Wang was laughing, his launch maniacal. John was simply standing there. He couldn’t think or feel anything. He was simply staring.

“Pretending we are not here does not change things,” a young kid who seemed to appear out of nowhere said. “It only makes you feel better, it does not change the fact that you caused the death of your parents, the destruction of Arcadis and now you aid gangsters. It does not change the fact that you caused the death of my grandparents and father in Arcadis and the death of my mother here on Frazzar. You are guilty and you know it.”

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John smiled. “You are not real. You are a figment of my imagination. Something I dream.” He chuckled. “None of this is real!!”

The child approached John. He grabbed John’s hand. “Does this feel real enough to you?”

John pushed away the child and tried to run away. As he ran in the opposite direction, the child suddenly appeared before him. “You may run but you cannot escape your guilt.”

John’s breath was rugged. His head ached. He closed his eyes and put his hands on his ears, trying to shut out the entirety of the outside world. “I am losing my mind!” he cried out. “Those dreams… why am I seeing them? I first began seeing them on K-L556. Now I see them more and more. Why? Why am I losing my mind?” John tried to find a logical explanation. Yet he couldn't. Maybe it was because on Frazzar, he could see the results of the destruction of Arcadis; refugees living in terrible conditions and bullied by gangsters, Sara crying over her lost friends and home.

John opened his eyes and looked at the kid. “How do I get out of this dream?” he wondered.

“You cannot,” the child replied. “Not until your mind allows you to leave. This dream is a mental creation, a reflection of your mind, your psyche. You created this dystopia. You are the only one who can erase it.”

John could hear whispers. Male and female – all kinds of languages and expressions, all kinds of feelings. “Who or what is this?”

“The whispers of those whose death you’ve caused,” the child explained. “See this young man,” he pointed at a handsome man in his twenties. “He is the friend Sara was talking about. You can see the brightness in his eyes, the wide smile on his face, his good looks. He had a bright future ahead; unfortunately your escape attempt meant that Arcadis was destroyed and he died, going down in flames along with his dreams, hopes and aspirations.”

John averted his gaze, trying his best to not look at the young man.

“Not looking at him does not make his death any less real. You must learn to accept reality; only by looking at what you’ve caused and accepting your role in it can you begin the healing process.”

John looked at the young man. He waved his arm, trying to greet him. The young man stopped smiling. His bright eyes took on a red color. His handsome face became pale white. “Why couldn’t you have surrendered?” he asked. “If the Helians had captured you and your sorceress friend, only two people would have died. Now tens of thousands are dead. Was it worth it? Are you two more worth than tens of thousands of lives?”

John had no good answer for this.

“I know what you are thinking; you will fight with all your strength against the Helian Realm, you shall make sure that the people of Helian planetary system are liberated and that they never again fall victim to such cruelty. But what good does this do to us who are already dead? Does it make up in any way? You like to think of yourself as the hero, the good guy. But you are the villain of the story.”

John let out a loud scream; he startled out of his nightmare. His cheeks were wet and his body was bathed in a cold sweat. The sheets were twisted around his limbs, because he was thrashing in his sleep. His heart pounded against his chest. He had woken up Sara and Nicole with his loud scream; they had rushed at him.

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“Are you alright?” Nicole asked.

“It’s nothing,” John replied. “Just… a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?!” Sara complained. “Stop acting like a child and go back to sleep.”

Iris had just returned to Thellasia after a five days journey from Xendia and she was meditating with elder Aerran.They were sitting cross-legged on round purple mattresses. The room was dark, lightened only the dim light of four candles. A couple of incense sticks burned too; their fragrance was heavy. Their eyes were closed and they were breathing rhythmically.

As always, the old teacher with the youthful-looking face exuded a sense of calmness and warmness. His long white hair and glowing face contrasted with the pitch dark blackness around him. Iris too had allowed her consciousness to retreat into the abyss of her subconscious mind.

“I sense that you are worried,” Aerran’s voice tumbled out softly. “Is there anything wrong?”

Iris opened her eyes. She took a deep breath before answering. “I… sensed… pain. I cannot stop having this feel of unease, like something has gone wrong. I worry-“

“You worry about John?” Aerran interrupted. “It is not unusual for a teacher and student to have a bond and to be able to sense extreme emotions. But you shouldn’t worry too much. I have confident in your abilities; you are a good teacher and I am sure that John has been prepared for whatever threats he will need to face.”

Iris simply smiled and was about to return back to meditating when the elder spoke again.

"I sense that your uneasiness does not have to do only with John and whatever emotional bond you share," Aerran observed. "You experienced something on Xendia that shook you. I can sense an internal turmoil inside you.”

“It’s…. I saw a vision on Xendia. A vision of the past. It makes me rethink about some of the choices I’ve made.”

The elder smiled warmly. “Sorcerers are not monks. Most of them at least. Embracing your feelings and pursuing personal happiness is not incompatible with being a sorcerer, as long as you are in control of yourself that is. But you are the only one who can choose what path you will follow. I cannot intervene. It is your life.”

With Sara and Nicole having gotten back to sleep, John had closed his eyes and was meditating. He was in no mood to sleep and needed to relax; those past few days, he had been plagued with nightmares. Suddenly he felt a chilling coldness. He opened his eyes. Darkness was surrounding him, only that this time it was a familiar darkness. He knew that he was experiencing one of those visions that allowed him to communicate with William.

“I can feel great unease within you. As if you carry a great burden, a burden that can drown you.”

“How can you sense that?” John wondered.

“The bond we share means we can feel each other’s powerful emotions.”

“I do feel troubled… and burdened. It is killing me. Do you ever feel so guilty, so responsible for bad things that you cannot imagine a way to make up for it? Do you feel hopeless and losing your mind over it?”

William chuckled. “Unfortunately you ask the wrong person. I don’t feel guilt because I see the concepts of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ as what they really are; arbitrary moral constructs by those who seek to limit our capabilities and hold us back from discovering our true strengths and from being ourselves. Good for me is what makes me stronger and happier, evil what makes me weaker and annoys me.”

“I could never buy into that philosophy,” John replied, “but it must sure feel good to not have guilt over bad things you’ve caused. To simply shrug off bad things you may have done, people you may have put in danger, and move on like nothing has happened.”

“What stops you from doing just that?”

“Me. I am just not as… whatever it is you are. Call me weak if you like, but I cannot just shrug off my feelings of guilt. I have a responsibility to, at the very least, not cause harm to others. That is how I’ve been raised, that’s how I have tried to live but I find myself failing my own moral code.”

“Then discard that moral code!” William shouted. “Do not let it dominate you. Do not let it turn you mad with guilt. Set yourself free from your constraints and you shall become more powerful than you can imagine!”

Iris had rushed to the landing platform as soon as he heard that Darren had returned from his mission to raid Al-Kwad. When she arrived to the platform, the ships had already landed and the entire facility was crowded with people; Alliance troopers were helping the rescued orc slaves out of the ships.

“Looking for me?” Darren asked, appearing almost out of nowhere.

“Yes!” a startled Iris replied. She skipped a heartbeat for a second. “I was looking for you.”

Darren laughed, his face becoming a vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. You should have seen your face.”

Iris simply sighed. “Very mature…”

“Oh come on. In my defense, I just returned from a quite dangerous mission. Relaxing and fooling around a bit are not harmful.”

“I… I did sense… pain,” Iris said. “Did everything go alright?”

Darren’s face immediately changed, becoming stern and cold. “We should head to your room. I believe some privacy is needed.”

Iris led the way and Darren followed behind. Soon enough, they were inside Iris’ room.

“John, Sara and Nicole had to steal a ship from the HQ of X-Corp in order to make their escape. They did manage to get hold of the ship but unfortunately it was damaged. Their ship crash landed on El Salvar,” Darren said. “Somewhere near Frazzar. I believe they must be alive. Unfortunately the planet is heavily guarded, with many military forces on the ground. Especially so if the Helians know three Alliance members are hiding there with important X-Corp files.”

“We need to go to El Salvar to save them,” Iris protested. “We cannot leave hi- them there.”

Darren let out a sigh. “I know; we cannot afford to lose three sorcerers nor those X-Corp files. It will be a damaging blow to the Alliance. However we need to be careful before putting ourselves in danger; I do not want to lose you or others on top of John, Sara and Nicole. “

“But-“

“I shall decide after we have the necessary data on our hands,” Darren interrupted. “I certainly will not just abandon them there but before mounting such a dangerous rescue mission, we need all the preparation we can possibly get. I do not plan on launching any suicide missions. You of all people should know how such missions end up.”

Iris understood that Darren was referring to the battle she had witnessed in her vision on Xendia. It was a topic they rarely discussed. Bringing to her mind the images of the Alliance soldiers being massacred, she couldn't blame Darren for not wanting a repeat of that battle.

“I know you care a lot about John; I do too.” Darren touched Iris’ hands and looked her in the eyes, “you shouldn’t worry. Your teachings will help him survive.”

“True, he has been through a lot of tough situations,” Iris said. “But Frazzar is no playground…”

“I know. I grew up there; I understand only too well how rough things can get.”

John was in the underground corridor where the warriors would wait before entering into the combat arena. Despite his doubts, he understood that fighting in the tournament was the only way to get the cash needed to get out of this planet. Sara and Nicole had followed him there, to ensure that he would be alright.

“You must be careful,” Nicole said. “This death tournament is no joke. You should be focused and prepared for everything that may come at you.”

John caught a fleeting stiffening of Nicole’s face but then she forced a weak smile. He could tell how worried she was. “Don’t worry,” John replied with a confident smile on his face; more in order to calm Nicole down than due to any confidence he really had. “I’ve faced much worse danger before.”

“Yes, but this time you cannot use magic to get out of trouble. You have to rely exclusively on your physical strength and martial arts.”

“I won quite a few combat tournaments in high school and was tournament champion back in Winsorsmith.” John remembered fondly his home village. “I am sure I will be just fine.”

“I don’t think a village tournament and death combat in a big metropolis tournament organized by the local mafia are exactly the same,” Sarah interjected. “Even if with the all the combat experienced you’ve gained from fighting Helians, you still need to be careful. Don’t be overconfident, think hard before attacking and do not let emotions to get the best of you.”

John nodded affirmatively. It was then when Wang made his way in the corridor. Well-dressed as always, the gangster was striding forward towards John.

“Here is the new warrior!” he loudly exclaimed. Sara and Nicole had turned their backs at the gangster and were leaving, in order to avoid having to talk even for a few seconds to this ‘scumbag’ (as they called him).

John forced a smile and tried, rather unsuccessfully, to show some enthusiasm.

“Kid, don’t worry. You shall make a fortune and everyone shall know of your name!” Wang said with a wide smile on his face.

“I would prefer not,” John replied. “I would rather if people did not know of my name.”

“Trouble with the law, eh?”

John did not respond.

“Come on, I ain’t a cop, I am a gangster,” Wang said. “Whatever… If you want, I can send a text to the broadcaster to give you some other name… How about the ‘Crazy Swordsman’? It is catchy!”

John nodded approvingly.

“Good. Now that we cleared that…” Wang threw a short, shiny grey hilt at John. John barely managed to grab it. There was a tiny red, round button on the hilt and John activated it. A laser blade suddenly emerged, emitting a bright yellow glow.

Much like the laser knives, laser swords were a common melee weapon used across the Helian Realm, albeit somewhat less used than the knives as they were more difficult to wield; on the other hand, they were a far more powerful weapon and in the right hands they could be more lethal than even a rifle.

“Why swords and not hand to hand combat?” John asked.

“To make things more exciting… and lethal,” Wang replied. “Fights need to be exciting in order for us to make cash. You have experience in sword fighting?”

John performed a series of intricate moves with his sword; his moves were slow but powerful. The whooshing sound of the sword revealed the great strength put into each move. “I had classes on high school. I had shown potential as a fighter and thus was eligible for the sword class. We did not master the art of sword combat but we did learn enough to get through a sword fight. Of course it has been some time since then but I still remember the moves. I just need to be able to perform them somewhat faster…”

Wang had a wide grin on his face and patted John on the back. “Don’t worry. You are a natural warrior, boy! You shall kick some ass out there and make us lots of cash!”

“Are there any rules I should know?” John asked.

“No,” Wang responded. “You are free to use whatever technique you need to kill your opponent. And please, do not hold back. The dude you are going to face has killed more than twelve opponents; before that, he was low-key thug. He is not some innocent athlete, so give it your all.”

The arena was located underground, for obvious reasons. Yet the construction was impressive. It was a small marble colosseum, with the arena floor made out of steel. Hundreds of chairs donned with comfortable mats oversaw the arena. The colosseum was full of people, all excitingly waiting for the fight to begin.

A tall man walked into the arena. He was bearded and scruffy looking, his face full of scars, wearing a long dark poncho and a wooden conical hat. He spotted a confident smile.

“On the one side is Shuren, the ‘Sword of Wind’. He has managed to emerge victorious twelve times in a row; otherwise he wouldn’t be here with us!” the broadcaster laughed loudly. “He is among the most talented warriors we’ve had in this arena.”

John walked into the arena. His walk was slow and careful, betraying his anxiety. He was barely noticing the outside world, focusing on mentally recreating the lessons he was taught regarding swordsmanship back in high school. Memories flashed themselves before his eyes.

“Facing Shuren is the ‘Crazy Swordsman’. He really must be crazy to be picking his first duel with the man who has won twelve times in a row. Give applause for the new warrior in town!”

The crowd applauded and cheered for him. Although he was still worried about his ability to win the fight, the applause did lift his spirit and gave him some newfound confidence. He forced a smile and tightened his grip on the sword hilt he was holding.

Shuren activated his laser sword; its long, yellow beam glowed brightly. John too activated his bright laser blade. They both aimed their laser swords at one another and took a battle stance, ready to attack when the moment was right.

Shuren lunged forward, swinging his sword. John ducked low, avoiding the strike but he could feel the heat of the laser blade; he had barely managed to survive. He leaped over Shuren's head, attacking him with a powerful slash. Shuren managed to block the attack; the two laser blades met and a loud buzz! sound was heard.

Having defended himself, Shuren attempted to counter with an upward slash. John quickly rolled back to avoid this slash. He let out a breath. ‘I am getting better at this,’ he thought. ‘Remember the lessons in school… Plus, it isn’t that much different from hand to hand combat.’

Shuren slashed again, this time even more forcefully, forcing John on the defensive. He then fainted an attack on John's chest. As John tried to parry the attack, Shuren swiftly moved his blade upward and brought it to John’s neck; the terrible heat of the laser blade, before even touching his neck, was scorching John’s skin. John was barely able to dodge the slash but his neck was slightly cut; it was only a minor cut but John knew it could have been far worse had he not moved as quickly as he did.

The young sorcerer was forced to retreat by a few steps. The crowd jeered at John and cheered for Shuren to finish him off. John’s heart raced and his breathing was fast and heavy. ‘I really wish I could use magic…’ Yet he couldn’t reveal himself as a sorcerer before the crowd.

John had only a few seconds to think of what his next moves would be. He closed his eyes and tried to use the magic he had somehow used back in Al-Kwad, when he temporarily slowed down time. Yet it was futile; he did not know how he managed to use this kind of magic then and did now know now. His attempt was a complete failure and only served to allow Shuren to strike at him.

John quickly moved his blade upwards, to meet the incoming blade. The two laser blades violently clashed and a surge of light nearly blinded the two warriors as the two weapons of energy met. Sparks flied and the heat was unbearable for both of them. They were both nearing their limits as they tried to overpower each other with pure physical strength. Many in the crowd had gotten up from their seats and were gaping in amazement.

John reminded himself of the teachings of Iris. He also reminded himself of how when he had faced that bounty hunter James, who had murdered his parents, back on Bremman, he had utilized magic to enhance his physical prowess and beat him. He could do it again. He closed his eyes and took deep breathes.

Shuren was taken aback seeing his opponents act like that. ‘What the hell is he doing?’ he wondered to himself.

John shut out the external world and concentrated on listening to the currents of the universe and with connecting with the Qi of the natural world. ‘All things are imbued with Qi,’ John remembered Iris’ words. ‘All things in the universe are connected. If you allow your mind to listen to the currents of the universe, you shall see the intricate patterns that form our world. Feel! Let the universe guide you. Let the Qi of the natural world flow inside you’.

John could feel the Qi in all things around him; he could feel it in the people in the arena, in the machinery, even in the seats, walls and doors. It was everywhere, imbuing life all around him. John sensed the vastness of the universe, realizing that he was like dust in a beach or water in an ocean; a tiny part of a vast universe, intricately webbed to form complex patterns of life.

John drew the Qi in him. He felt a sudden surge of energy; he felt as his physical prowess had increased hundredfold. He let out a roar and overwhelmed with sheer force Shuren. The enemy warrior was pushed on the ground. John charged and slammed his laser sword at him. Shuren was barely able to roll to the left, avoiding a lethal slash. He quickly got up and tried to fight back against John but the young sorcerer’s attacks were brutal and powerful, pummeling Shuren into retreat.

It was now Shuren’s turn to be jeered at by the excited crowd that chanted the ‘Crazy Swordsman’s’ name and demanded that he finish off his opponent. Shuren, however, was quite the skilled fighter and couldn’t be counted out yet. ‘I will show him!’ Shuren struck at John with a series of quick and intricate sword moves that caught John by surprise. The attacks were too quick and complex for John to effectively counter and he had to take a few steps back.

John sighed. He had to think of a smart way to defeat his opponent; brute strength wasn’t going to do the trick. John advanced speedily, aiming his blade at Shuren's neck. Shuren moved his blade upward to block the incoming attack but John hastily changed the direction of his blade and instead struck at Shuren's chest. The sword was stabbed deep into Shuren's chest. He let out a cry and instinctively kicked John. The sorcerer was pushed back and spit a mouthful of blood.

Shuren still had a laser sword impaling his chest; he was vomiting blood and trembling uncontrollably. His knees felt weak and he collapsed on the steel floor. A blood pool formed around his dead body. The crowd chanted John’s nickname. John waved at the crowd. Although he did this for the money and wasn’t particularly happy that he had to kill Shuren, he did feel good seeing the crowd worshipping him. He now understood why people risked their lives for the glory and fame they could acquire in such death matches.

The training hall, located in one of the many basements owned by William, had an old hardwood floor, reinforced walls and taupe smooth toned ceiling. Lights installed in the ceiling shined down dimly.

A tall, sturdy man in torn clothes charged at William; the Chancellor’s son waved his arm and a powerful wave of energy sent the man flying against one of the walls. A crunching sound was heard as his back was crushed. A second man, equally muscled, attacked William. He leaped backward, dodging a furious fist. With a powerful round kick, William kicked the man onto the floor. As he tried to get up, William waved his arm and an energy wave pushed him again on the floor. He walked slowly towards the man, grabbed him by the hair and with a swift move two of his fingers poked into the man’s eyes; he gouged them out as the man screamed. Unable to process the agony, spasms of incoming death overwhelmed the man, his brain shutting down.

Walden, who had just walked into the room, clapped loudly. “Impressive!” he exclaimed. “Although I do not think your father will appreciate you abducting prisoners.”

“Don’t you have a company to run?” William chuckled. “You seem to have way too much free time for a CEO…”

“What can I say? I have competent underlings. Anyway, I see you are becoming far more powerful as time goes by,” Walden said. “And I do not think it is due to your training alone.”

“Indeed!” William smirked. “It is because of that sorcerer with whom I am connected. The more powerful he becomes, the more powerful I become.”

“But the opposite is true too, right?”

William nodded approvingly.

“Isn’t it a bit dangerous?” Walder asked. “If this sorcerer becomes too powerful, he might become a threat in the future.”

“I shall deal with him when the time is right,” William replied. “What matters now is that thanks to our bond, we are both reaching higher heights of mastery of magic than possible if either of us was working alone. If the books I’ve gathered are right, our powers will be far superior to those of most sorcerers.”

“Hopefully your father will not find out; he really hates sorcery. Speaking of your father, I am reminded that I have a message to relay to you.”

“Now he sends his messages through you?” William sighed.

“He knows I am the only one who can find you. Plus, you usually don’t reply to his calls. Most likely because you are stoned or hangover from your constant partying…”

“What’s the message?”

“He wants you to go to his office tomorrow evening. Your brothers will be there too.”

“Good… My favorite people!” William complained. “Did he tell you what exactly he wants to talk about?”

“No. You will have to find out yourself. Good luck.”

“Thanks. With my father, I will need it…”

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