《FLESH: Distorted Soul》Ch:1 Hunger

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Woman Pov:

I’ve been wondering for days, maybe weeks searching for food. Slowly watching my body dry up, becoming sickly and thin... so thin. My body is eating itself, depriving me of my human form. I have become a skeleton wearing human skin, disgusting.

“Waaahahhhhaaaaaa” the cry of a baby wakes me from my depressing thoughts into a more depressing reality.

“Sssshut up” I hiss at the child. This little parasite feeds off me, sucking out what's left of me. I hate it, this selfish little demon attached to my bosom…..When did i start to think this way? Cursing at my own child, yes this thing looking up at me is mine. A baby i'm supposed to love and take care of, and believe me i tried….(Sob)..i've tried sooo hard (sob). But i can’t take it… the hunger, mine and it’s…….just a little longer...i’ll try.

Date XXXX

My tits have dried up weeks ago, i was sure the little spawn would have died by now, but it seems he’s been weaned and started eating solid foods, if you can even consider the few scraps i find as food. Grass, roots, weeds i scavenge the edge of the forest where it’s reasonably safe, im lucky it’s still autumn, it’s cold but i'm still able to survive of the land, providing enough for us not to die yet….though thinking of the winter that is almost upon us, I wonder why I still try. It’s been a few years since the crops have stopped producing. Everyone is struggling and still the officials raise the tax. How is anyone supposed to survive this.

Date XXXX

“Hahaha..(cough) ..ha” I croak out a laughter i didn’t think i could, my throat is so dry, yet tears streak down my face. Finally I found shelter, An abandoned burnt building stands in a clearing of the forest i've walked along for days. The structure looks unreasonably old as the roof is half collapsed, The wood making up the building is splintered and blackened, I have no idea how it is still standing, but i'm thankful none the less. I head into my new residence and inspect the space….frankly it’s disappointing, with most of the roof gone and a few of the walls being broken in, I fare I have little chance of surviving this winter….but little is better than none.

Date XXXX

Months have passed and it is well into winter...i think, i can’t think straight anymore, my mind is fuzzy and i’ve been hallucinating. I still see the little demon in the corner, i don’t know how he’s still alive…he’s only like ….how old now? …...I’ve started eating dirt, i’ve had to eat it a few times these past years but i’ve supplemented with any real food i can get, just eating dirt is definitely not good for me.

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Date XXXX

………”Ugh”……..w..weak..i’ve gotten so weak……...i can’t even crawl properly, my sight faded days ago but i can still see him, My child watching me from the corner. I hate him, why does he seem to be ok, while im….im...dieing. Why do i have to die while that parasite lives! Yes i took care of him but that was only as long as i get to live to...i want to live……... hungry.

Child Pov:

She inched closer to me, her eyes were filled with a maddening hate, hate that i was still alive, hate that she would die and she blamed her death on me.

When i had first gained an awareness, a sense of self, I was met with the face of a monster, well …. not quite. It was a woman as far as i could tell and how she took care of me would have led me to believe she was my mother if not for the distance she held towards me; I could see it in her eyes, she never saw me as a person, though she probably couldn’t, not in this situation. Every person i saw was like her, a walking corpse barely held together by skin, all muscle and fat had atrophied from their bodies and they just struggled to survive. Zombies was probably the thing they resembled most, still functioning but mentally not all there. Picking up scraps and scavenging for anything edible in the forests. We had passed and gone through a few villages but the people there weren’t any better off than us. Most fields were barren, the weather was too cold for the crops to grow and the attempt to plant rice didn’t seem to solve the food shortage. Many were unfortunate (?) enough to have starved to death, they lie on the roadside at first being eaten by maggots and birds...but as the weeks pass I witness a few people(?) taking whatever meat was left on the bones of human corpses. I would stare at these sights thankful I was still breastfed and didn't have to worry about surviving like that...for now. My mother always seemed to ignore these sights. She just kept walking, murmuring under her breath. Her eyes were normally void of thought, like she was in a dream, these were my preferred moments with her because whenever she regained her conscious she would look at me with hate. I could tell she thought I was a burden, which I was, but I did my best to behave as thanks for not abandoning me, and leaving me to my death.

…..It’s been a few days since her milk dried up, Why must this moment come! My nectar of life has dried and now I must scavenge if I wish to live….fuck…... Luckily I was prepared for this to happen, i had been exercising (Flailing arms and legs) and watching what mother(?) gathers for us to eat…..besides dirt which seems to be her staple food.

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I have finally gained the ability to walk! I could crawl for a while now but finally becoming bipedal makes me finally feel human. Though I enjoy the ability to walk I only use it when looking for food, I have to be careful and conserve energy during these times. My diet consists of any edible plants or animals I can find…..catch, yes that includes bugs, I was grossed out for a couple weeks but eventually hunger made me renounce my disgust.

Weeks of wandering until we finally came upon an old burnt down temple of some kind, it was nestled in the forest and seemed abandoned. My mother(?) finally made the decision to settle down for a while, it was probably due to winter being right around the corner and it would be impossible to survive without shelter. You may be wondering why she didn’t settle in a village and try for help. Well thats because we weren’t welcome, people could barely feed themselves, let alone others, the famine had gotten so bad humans had resorted to eating each other. I had seen cannibalism a few times now but not nearly as prevalent as it had been the last few weeks. Humans are dangerous, they are animals.

It has been months since we’ve been cooped up in this temple, the winter has come and been harsh, I almost froze to death a few times but made a little fort in the corner and have done my best to survive. I was lucky to find some hibernating rodents in the corner which I eat occasionally...but sparsely. It’s dangerous but I eat these mice raw, i’m too weak to create a fire and my mother is no better. Fire should have been our first defense against the cold and would have enabled us to more easily survive….but mother(?) has been nonfunctional since we got here. She just stopped, her mind has been degrading by the day and she just lays there staring at me. I've tried offering her food but she won’t respond and i’m frankly surprised she is still alive.

Today something surprising happened, snow fell!....well not quite, it was ash. i don’t know where it came from but it is really beautiful.

It’s been a few days of ash fall and i’ve finally realized how fucked we are; it’s cold, really cold. The ash clouds block out the sun and have lowered the temperature significantly. Food became even more scarce, struck with malnutrition and hyperthermia, I will probably die…………….I….don’t want to die……………...i’m scared.

Lately the look in her eyes has changed, before when she regained her senses she would just peer at me with hate but now...an insanity has encroached into her gaze, she seems to seek life and her desire to take mine is apparent; but i can’t leave...if i leave i’ll certainly die. The cold and snow has made this temple into my prison.

A growl, I look towards the woman who created this bestial noise. She’s glaring at me a primal hate fills her face as it twists into a form i can’t even describe as human. Her eyes bloodshot, teeth bare and lips curled into a snarl a frothy saliva drips onto the floor as she starts to crawl towards me with a morbid hope for survival. I know what she plans to do, i've seen this insanity in all those who ate their own kind, who stooped to the level of monsters. Even if she’s so weak she has to crawl she can still kill me; I may be a bit better off but my strength is still not enough to fend her off, but that doesn’t mean i won’t try.

She rushes me and attempts to wrap her bony fingers around my throat. I use what little strength I have left to rush back and try to find something I can use as a weapon in this malnourished child's body. I grab a small piece of splintered wood while that beast lunges toward me in another attempt to strangle me, i stab the splinter into her chest but she barely flinches and lashes out by hitting me against the wall. My head smashes against the hardwood disorienting me as a stinging pain runs through my back, i fall to the floor wondering how the fuck she has enough strength to smash me against the wall when she looks like she could die any moment now. I lie on the floor trying to regain my bearings when i look up and see her staring at me with a smile plastered on her face. Rather than a smile i should call it a savage grin….a shame that's the happiest face i’ve seen her make, and i’ll be the one to take it away. As her nails dig into my neck, i find it harder and harder to breath but still i stare into her eyes hesitating…. am i prepared to fall. With my last burst of energy i stab a sharp branch into her neck and watch as the shock creeps onto her face, her grin slowly inverses, depicting the despair of death as her blood drains from her neck and onto my face. She falls onto me and i lay there with her on top of me as I drift into relief, relishing in her warmth that is slowly fading……………………….i’m hungry.

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