Patch Notes #1.1

The NPC Harem Girls of the Dengal Desert were never intended to be hitched to sand yachts for more “speed.” They will no longer be allowed to leave the confines of the Proudhouse Palace.

The ballroom pagoda that Oha had mentioned was a spectacle. It stood on the other side of the welcoming center and was hidden from sight by huge palm trees until you went all the way around it to an open side that face the bay. The entire building was open to the elements and had 4 separate levels each topped with a rounded roof making it look like a tropical wedding cake building. The entire thing was held up by ten living trees covered in ivies that twisted up their heights. It was decorated in bright white banners that were hung from the railings.

The space was filled with locals hovering over tables laden with food and drinks. When Crash and Malia stepped inside the place erupted in applause. Oha put a hand on Crash’s back and guided him to the drink table. “Be sure to try some of the local fruit drinks there are flavors here I’m sure you have never tried.” He leaned into the two of them and quietly said, “Don’t turn around for about 30 seconds. They are going to try to surprise you with a gift!”

Crash and Malia put their heads together and pretended to try and guess what flavor the bright pink drink would be. They heard someone loudly clear their throat behind them and someone said, “Excuse me adventurers?” They turned around and found the crowd in a semi-circle around them. A good looking man with a goatee was standing in front of the mob. He bowed deeply to them and said, “On behalf of the people of Bolina Bay and our patron God Barnabus, we would be pleased if you accepted a small token of welcome.”

The crowd parted and two people stepped forward holding surfing boards. The boards were identical except for the paint jobs. They were big Malibu long-boards with bamboo patterns painted across them. One was yellow in the center that faded to orange and ended in a burnt brown at the edges. The other was pink, purple and black. The both had the words “Barnabus Bomber” stenciled at the back end. They were glorious, seeming to have a blue aura surrounding them. “Our best craftsman hand made them for you. They are imbued with mobility and stability enchantments.”

Crash almost reverently took the yellow one in his hands. The board felt like he had owned it for years. It almost seemed happy to see him. He felt a surge of power and a longing in it. “I have owned hundreds of boards, but I have never had one that almost called out to me!”

The man smiled happily. “Yes, well, it IS calling to you. I told you that they were hand made for you. That board is magical. It is enchanted and imbued with a blessing to Barnabus. I hope it serves you well!”

Crash looked over at Malia who still hadn’t said a word. She was holding the board in both hands and resting the side of her head against it as if listening to it. A tear was sliding down her cheek. She looked at Crash in awe and said, “Her name is Fleet and she said she has been waiting for me and she will never let me down!”

The crowd erupted in jubilation. Crash looked around in confusion. The man looked at him with tears in his eyes and said, “Truly we are blessed, that is only the second ever sentient board in existence and unless I am mistaken yours will be the third!” He started jumping up and down pumping his fist in the air. “WOOOOOO!”

Crash tucked the board under his arm and looked at the man with a grin. “I only have one question for you. How long until noon!”

A little kid yelled out, “Last one to the beach has to surf goofy foot!” The crowd surged thru the doors heading to their homes to grab their gear. Crash turned to Malia. “You heard that pup, let’s not be last!”

Crash and Malia jogged back to the villa to grab some towels. A maintenance man was in front of their house setting up an elaborate horizontal board stand on their deck.

“Crash stopped and said, “Is that for these two boards?

“The man solemnly nodded. “Oh yes. Those are very special boards. They must always be kept outdoors facing the water. They will not like being indoors at all.”

Crash said, “What about if someone...”

“Someone tries to steal or damage them?” He started laughing. “Don’t worry about that Sir. These boards can take care of themselves. Nothing short of a God or their owners can handle them for long!”

Malia came hustling out of the villa with two towels. She threw one over Crash’s head and said, “See ya later Alligator! WOOT!” She took off running.

Crash let out a big laugh and took off after her.

They arrived at the beach and although they saw hundreds of people getting settled in, the beach still had a lot of open space. It was a huge beach. The sand was very soft and cool to the touch. It had a sparkly pink hue. It almost felt like walking on cotton. Malia looked over at him with wide eyes and shrugged and said, “Magic!”

Someone started waving them over and they recognized Beebee in a one piece blue bathing suit. She had a huge towel set out that could fit ten people on it and two beach umbrellas set behind it offering a little shade. There was a picnic basket sitting opened and a big pitcher filled with ice and something that looked just like margarita in it.

“Hey guys! Take a seat, welcome to your first break!” She shouted.

Malia asked, “Break?”

Beebee nodded. “Ya, we call these four hours the break. A break from work, a surf break? It’s the break!”

Malia pointed at her setup. “Is all of this for us?”

Beebee bobbed her head up and down. “Sure is… Wait until you taste the cuke watermelon tea sammiches I made... deeeeeelish!”

Malia smiled but hesitated. “Umm Beebee... thanks? But it’s the break, we don’t want you waiting on us and setting up this whole shindig!”

Beebee got a sad look on her face.”Aww, you don’t? But I do this every day! And I want to! And it will look bad on me if you don’t want it! And I might get reassigned! Besides it is cool being able to hang with you guys. ALL of my friends are jealous! I beat out 200 hundred people to get this job! If I don’t…”

Malia interrupted her, “OK, OK, I get it, I’m sorry! If it will upset you not to do this then I get it. Do what you do.”

Beebee clapped her hands. “Oh thanks Malia it makes me happy to share break with you!” She looked over at Crash and winked and put her hands in front of her mouth to cover a laugh.

Crash let out a chuckle. “So Beebee I already see a ton of kids out in the water on boards. When do the waves start, and how can so many people be out there at once? Isn’t there a ton of collisions?”

Beebee smiled at him. “Collisions? As if! The waves will start any minute now. Those kids couldn’t collide with each other even if they tried. Just watch! I’m sure there will be a lot of showing off for you today!

No sooner than Beebee stopped talking Crash could see the first wave of the day forming way back by the entrance. It looked crystal clear with just a hint of white water at the top of it. He could hear the kids out on the water let out whoops of excitement and he saw a bunch of them start paddling out.

He noticed that three of them, who seemed to be young teenagers, were already in position to grab the first wave. All three of them were paddling to grab it within 5 feet of each other. A sure setup for a multi-person wipe out if he ever saw one. He looked nervously over at Beebee who was grinning. She nodded her face back at the kids making him look back at the coming disaster.

All three kids popped up at the same time. Crash murmured “Uh oh here it comes, wipe...” Before he could finish something unexplained happened. The kid on the far right was slid along the top of the wave 15 feet away from the kid in the middle. The kid on the left slid, (no, not slid, teleported?) 15 feet in the other direction until the three of them were perfectly evenly spaced out.

Crash’s mouth shot open and he looked back at Beebee who started to bend over laughing looking at his surprise. “Oh boy you should see the look you have right now!”

Crash looked back out with his mouth still wide open! Beebee was having a ball laughing at him. She actually let out a loud seal bark and covered her mouth in embarrassment! “Better close your mouth or you will catch a fly Crash!”

The second wave was now rolling in and at least ten kids were going for it! Crash watched in amazement as all ten kids, some that looked as young as 8, flawlessly popped-up and started shredding the wave. He saw kids walking up and down their boards. One guy was doing a handstand and he swore he saw a ten year old do a cartwheel!

Malia looked over to Beebee and said, “Whoa! These kids are good, is everyone here as good as them?”

Beebee chuckled. “Those are children Malia. Some of our villagers have been surfing for fifty years. You should see what they can do!”

Crash looked over at Malia. “Umm, we might not be the best around anymore...”

She smiled, “Wanna show them what someone from the Pipe can do?”

He grinned back. “Let’s go for it!”

Crash and Malia grabbed their boards, hit the water and slowly started paddling out. Crash was about twenty feet out and looked down. The water was crystal clear and he could see right down to the bottom. A beautiful swaying kelp forest was below him filled with colorful fish. He looked up and noticed that all of the kids were coming in with smiles on their faces. They wanted to see what Crash and Malia had. He smiled at the unspoken challenge. They called out encouragement as they passed him.

“Tear it up Crash!”

“Get some for the girls Malia!”

“Show the old fogies here what you’re made of guys!”

“I love you Malia!”

“I love you more Malia!”

“Talk to your board Crash!”

“I love my best friends girl Crash! What should I do!?”

Crash whipped his head around. “Huh? What did that dude say!?”

Malia laughed. “I think someone is trying to throw you Crash. By the way, Beebee told me our boards can “wave whisper”. Just tell your board what you want to surf and it will talk to the magic in these waves.”

Crash and Malia got to the point where they could get a long ride and looked at the wave coming in. “I’m going for a thirty footer, You want tandem or solo rides?”

Malia said, “Let me have the first one. I’ll soften the crowd up and you can bring home the bacon!”

Crash gave her the “hang loose” shaka and said, “Carve it up baby!” Malia took off and caught the wave.

Crash started paddling to the next wave and whispered to his board. “OK buddy, what do you say we try a 35 footer with a barrel on it?”

Crash duck dived thru the wave and turned to paddle right behind it. He caught it with ease and said to his board. “Here we GO BUD!” He came over the top of it and dropped-in. The wave that was 10 feet high instantly grew to about 30 feet as he hit the pocket. It was pure glass and straight as an arrow. It was kind of disorienting to be able to look so far down the wave. He did a soul arch with his back and flew down the face gaining speed. The board was so stable it felt like it had training wheels on it. Crash turned and headed back up snapping off the top. He carved up and down shredding the wave. He looked back and a long tube started to form. Crash stalled the board and let the barrel catch him. He entered it and knew right away that there was nothing on Earth like this. He stayed in the tube for a bit running his hand along the inside of the wave. Applying pressure and weight to the front of the board, he shot out of it like a bullet. He went back down to the bottom trough and straight up the face to perform a massive aerial.

After some more maneuvers The beach was coming close so Crash deceided to end the ride in his usual style. He zoomed up the ramp, launched, flew out into the air, struck his superman pose and screamed “BANZAI!” He did a fancy dive into the water and came up grinning. I really tore that wave up! He could see the kids on the beach jumping up and down and Malia standing there grinning.

He held his board up over his head in triumph yelling. “Woo Woo WOOOO! He brought the board down to his lips and kissed it. “Oh my God I love you buddy! I have never felt so perfect on a board before!”

The board replied, “My name is Monsoon, not Buddy! I think you shall do human.”

Crash looked down in shock. He sprinted over to Malia ignoring all of the kids shouting at him. He pointed at his board. “Monsoon!”

Malia raised an eyebrow. “He told you his name!?”

Crash nodded his head up and down as fast as he could. “UH HUH! AND I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM AND HE TOLD ME BACK HE LOVED ME TOO! And I’m gonna keep him forever and buff him and wax him and love him...”

Malia started laughing. Monsoon said, “I did not say I loved you, I said I think you might do!” Malia stepped back in shock. “I heard that!” Monsoon said, “Of course you heard me lovely lady, you hold my most beloved in your hands, Lady Fleet!”

Crash was waving over all of the kids that were vying for his attention. “Guys come here! I would like everyone to meet my board! His name is MONSOON! Come give him some love. You with the crazy orange pants… come rub him!”

Malia started cracking up. “Alright guys no one molest the living surf board! Wow Crash… I have never seen someone hit a wave that perfectly before! That was epic! I mean it! A ten across the boards for sure!”

Crash nodded. “I know! It wasn’t me though, it was him. I mean ya... some of it was me, but did you see that ollie? I could never whip the nose back that fast before. And he stalls like you’re driving a car hitting the brakes. I’ve never felt anything like it. I would win every single tourney I entered with him. It would be cheating of course, but wow!”

Crash high-fived every kid and sent them on their way. He gave crazy pants a slap on the ass for good luck. He leaned over and planted a big kiss on Malia’s lips. She stepped back a little shocked. “Umm OK! What was that for!”

He gave her a big shit eating grin. “It was long overdo… Can we try again?”