Patch Notes #1.2

The NPC Bishop O’Connor who rings the bell atop the Thousand Step Tower every day, can no longer be thrown over the edge to his death. Also the cookie baking trainer Sister Stevens, in the same church, can no longer be prompted to commit lewd acts by spamming the phrase “Kneed my dough.”

Crash and Malia were back in the villa getting ready for the big village party.

Crash was going thru the wardrobe that was provided for him. He noticed that half of his Aloha shirts were parrot themed. He picked a bright red shirt with green parrots. He walked out into the living room and asked Malia, “Did you notice an over abundance of parrots on your clothing?”

She shook her head. “No, a lot of my prints have turtles in an Aztec kind of theme.”

“Hmm I wonder what the animal themes are all about. We will have to ask someone about it. Let’s party!”

Malia grabbed his hand they they headed off down their secluded path. As they rounded the lane they could see light thru the foliage and hear a din of laughter and conversation.

The entire open center of the village was covered in decorations and hanging glowing lanterns. There were games and puppet shows and a stage set up with three hula dancers and some men with instruments on it. Friendly waves and greetings were thrown to Malia and Crash as they made their way in and they noticed a small throng of people gathered around a man in purple robes.

Crash nudged Malia. “Hey that dude looks familiar! Who is that?”

Malia snarled, “Ya, I recognize that jackass. His name is Jonni Fastplay, he is in all of the reality tv shows. He always plays the jerky, bad guy role. He tried to hook up with me thru my socials once and when I turned him down he harassed me for weeks!”

Crash narrowed his eyes at the guy. “I take it you don’t want to meet him then?”

Malia shook her head. “Hell no, I’d end up punching him!”

Crash nodded, “Ok I get it, but I do want to find out what he is doing here. I was told that we would be the only two on The Island for a couple of weeks.”

She waved him away. “Go for it, I’ll grab a drink and find Oha, I have some questions about how to pick up some crafting trades to work on in our down time.”

Crash nodded and headed over to the guy. He was chatting with a small crowd of the local women and had a creepy smile on his face. He also had what seemed like a small posse of three rough looking men behind him all scanning around as if looking for trouble. He noticed crash coming up and said, “Hey bra, your Crash Callahan right?” He stuck out his hand. “Names Jonni, nice to meet you!”

Crash shook his hand and Jonni gave him more than the necessary pressure needed and grinned. “Jonni how are you? I have seen you on a few tv shows. I take it you are one of our lucky celeb guests in Ever Ever?”

Jonni nodded. “Yup. This is my fourth day actually. Hit level 10 this afternoon and I deserved a break so I took a boat over here for your big welcoming party! Wanted to meet the top live streamers in the preview!”

Crash lifted his eyebrows. “We are the top stream?” He chuckled. “How did that happen and how do you know that?”

“Easy, my producer told me. We talk twice a day, go over strats for domination. He felt that it would be good for me to be seen by your forty million and send them a little message.”

He looked up into the sky and said, “Maybe this lovey-dovey, kumbaya scene will be fun for a while, but if you want to see a little raw carnage and world domination in your stream, head on over to Fastplay’s World!” He winked. “It might not be age-appropriate for everyone, but I don’t mind how old you are! We all gotta start somewhere!”

He looked back at Crash. “You know you can consult with your producer anytime you want to right? Just ask the eye in the sky and you shall receive. I’d advise you get out there in the real world soon. You don’t want to fall too far behind and end up letting this sweet little village burn to the ground with no protectors. You know what I mean?”

Crash shook his head. “No actually I don’t know what you mean. Care to elaborate?”

Jonni had a smug look on his face. “I’ll let you in on an unknown here Crash. These npcs are all low level A.I.’s, did you know that? All of the ones in your Bay are their own individuals. They fall under the guidance of a high level A.I. of course, like a local God for instance, but they have their own wants and desires. They are like 10 year olds at this point with no comprehension about Human manipulations. It’s not very hard to find out what they want and twist it to your advantage. Something I am very good at by the way. I can get any of them to do what I want at this point. Once they have a lot of interaction with us they will learn of course. For now though, Oh baby, It’s as easy as picking the proverbial low hanging fruit from the cherry tree!”

He pointed over at the stage. “See those three hula dancers? Wanna bet me 50k that I can’t get all three of them in the sack tonight?

Crash shook his head. “That’s not too cool bro.”

Jonni laughed. “Not cool? It’s very cool. That’s why I am second on the live streams right now. People want to see the adult version of Ever Ever. Not everyone enjoys Malibu Beach dance party Barbie!”

Crash shook his head, “I’ll enjoy my time here my way “bra.” You enjoy it however you need to.”

Jonni narrowed his eyes at Crash. “Let me give you some advice lover boy. See these robes? I took a very rare, very dangerous class at level 10. A specialty Necromancer who can reach the pinnacle of powers in the dark arts. If I were you I would search for a rare advanced class as well. You never know when trouble might come lookin for you and yours.” He turned to walk away.

Crash shook his head again and turned to leave as well. He heard Jonni behind his back say, “I think we will stick around here for a day or two. Try to liven up things a bit.” He looked back and saw Jonni headed for the hula dancers.

Crash wandered around looking for Malia in the crowd. He spotted Beebee dancing with another seal, this one looking decidedly male and wearing a dozen flowered Leis. She saw him and waved. “Malia asked me to tell you that she was headed over to the Sloshed Siren. It’s that complex on the far left side of the bay with the boardwalk in front of it. She said something about wanting to get as far away from someone as possible.”

Crash thanked her and headed that way. A few minutes later he found a curved wooden boardwalk that followed the shape of the bay-side. A loud chorus of drunken voices could be heard singing out a song about a naked pirate. There was a large wood carved totem next to the door in the shape of a bare-chested siren with her hands over her head and a sly smile on her face. “Well, this must be the place!”

He smiled as he saw Malia up near a long bar with her arms interlocked with two women. The entire bar had arms locked and were swaying back and forth as they bellowed out the end of the song:

“SOOO, Jack jumped on the bed…

He looked down at Big Red…

Stripped off his pantaloons…

THAT WASN’T MY PEG LEG!”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The bar erupted in laughter!

Malia spotted him in the doorway and ran over and jumped up on him placing a big kiss on his lips! “Oh Crash this place freaking rocks!” The people are so friendly and the sing along songs are so dirty! I love this place, it is officially my new hang!”

Crash looked the place over. It was huge! Easily 5 times the size of his dad’s place. It was packed with npcs. He guesstimated there were over a hundred people in there. There was a huge long wooden bar that ran most of the length of the back wall and a stage set up on the far left that had a 4 man band cranking out loud acoustic music. He gave Malia another quick kiss and slipped her off of his waist. “The Sloshed Siren huh? A great name… So what do you say we get sloshed!”

Malia liked arms with him and dragged him to the bar. “Sounds great, I wanna introduce you to my future B.F.F.s, They are badass sentry's on the Bay’s security squad.”

They walked up to the bar and two blonde Swedish looking girls. “Crash this is Hope and Faith.” Hope handed Crash a rum runner type of drink in a huge glass. “Nice to meet you Crash.”

Hope grabbed his bicep and squeezed it. “Wow, Malia is this hunk of man flesh yours? And will you share?” Hope giggled.

Malia laughed. “1 He is mine and 2 maybe when we get to know each other better!”

Crash almost spit his mouthful of drink all over the place. “Malia!”

The girls all started giggling. Faith said, “Where have you been Crash? I can’t believe you left Malia all alone on her second night here!”

“I met a real gem of a guy and was talking to him. I’m saying that sarcastically by the way. This dude was a real douchebag. If you run into a necromancer in purple robes here over the next few days try to avoid him. He is not a nice guy.”

“Ugg!” Malia spit out. “I told you that guy was a creep, what did he have to say for himself, why was he here?”

Crash shrugged “I got the feeling he was jealous of me. He was shooting veiled threats left and right. He also mentioned how he liked messing with the locals. A real creep for sure, you were right!”

“Enough about that Jonni guy Crash, chug that drink down, you have some catching to to do.” She pushed the bottom of his drink up at his mouth.

Right after Crash chugged down 30 ounces of rum drink the band struck up a song that made the bar erupt in cheers. Malia and Hope grabbed Crash by the arms and started dragging him to the dance floor. “You make feel like dancin! Gonna dance the night away!”