《The Party's Tank is a Masochistic Trap》Chapter 1.1: The Vampire Paladin
Advertisement
The Kingdom of Swords, ruled by the God of War, Eudon, was one of few countries basking in riches yet was more rural than developed. All its cities had more trees than buildings, more beasts than citizens, and as many dungeons as streets. Tamed and wild monsters alike cluttered the cobbly roads, and the skies always shimmered full of fireworks and light shows exhaled by flying reptiles trying to eat each other. As a result, the kingdom had always been quite popular with adventurers from all over the world. So much so that warriors from other nations even choose to move over to continue their journeys there instead.
One fine example of those said warriors would be Kirin Torisetti! A fresh graduate from the Academy of White Knights in the Kingdom of Armor.
Despite being from a prestigious institution that has raised the most brusque and knightly heroes there are, he's one small trap that none would ever even suspect to be a warrior had he not owned a sword hanging by his waist. His long luscious rose gold hair flailed in the wind. His silver, busted chest plate sheened under the sun. His sword and armor's steel skirt clinked, swaying forward and backward as he catwalked through Bladewood City's streets.
"Quite a beautiful day today, isn't it, lady knight!?" greeted a staunch man, tipping his hat. He had a crumpled face and gray hair, and was standing right in front of a stall selling swords.
From the sky, a fireball plummeted and demolished a house by the shop.
"B--" Kirin cupped his mouth. "Beautiful day indeed!"
That was a rather pleasant explosion.
The man's stomach jiggled as he let out a burst of laughter. "Fret not! That's just my house. I see you're new here. Do you need help with directions?"
Advertisement
"U-Um. It's impressive how unfazed you are after what just happened." Kirin twisted to pull out a scroll from a sack hanging with his sword. "Well, I am quite lost. But I'd feel bad bothering you, seeing as there'd be enough you'd have to be worrying about."
A winged scaly lion crashed into the house, besprinkling splashes of sparks and crumbling stone. Then a levitating snake, with fangs ready to jab, descended to the flaming rubbles shortly after.
"No worries." The man turned to see the wreck. "This happens all the time."
"Whaaat?! Why do you even stay?!"
"Well, well! Elsewhere could never be as eventful. Isn't that why you're here?" A knowing smile went upon his face.
"Oh. I... guess you're right." Kirin unrolled the scroll. "Bet it's expensive needing to repair everything all the time though."
"Ah!" The man waved his hand dismissively. "We don't have to worry about that. All our properties are insured by the king."
"How generous."
"He has too be. After all, it's directly his fault why we need to live like this." The man scratched the back of his head. "Anyways, where were you heading?"
On the map Kirin has opened, the lines were dancing. Although not literally. They were just that difficult to read.
"I'm looking for the guilds Coreiseuse and Excalibur." Kirin let his finger trace the paper's glossy surface. "If you could kindly point me to an apartment too, that'd be much appreciated."
"Wonderful! You plan to join those guilds!" The man brandished a balled fist. "What a brave lady. Very well! You can head straight. After you pass Eudon's statue, take the road right. That will lead you to Coreiseuse. You can ask for directions to Excalibur from there."
Advertisement
"Clear as air!" Kirin rolled the map back to a cylinder and shoved it in the sack. "Thank you so much!"
"You're most welcome, my lady. Take care!" The man tipped his hat once more, watching Kirin wave goodbye as he walked on.
"You do the same!" Kirin gave the burning house's debris one more look before setting his gaze up ahead the paved path.
The way to Coreiseuse.
According to news, it was the biggest, most powerful guild in Bladewood. If Kirin would, by Animus' will, be able to join, he's sure to be on the most dangerous quests in no time!
Dangerous quests. Yes.
Dangerous. Perilous. Painful.
Painful, painful quests.
The thought of those alone was enough to send a warm tingle along Kirin's spine!
"Lady knight, watch out!" From behind, the man's voice cracked the air.
Kirin whirled, and, finding that a fireball was merely a foot away from engulfing him, his eyes grew reflecting the bright orange flames.
Gradually did the heat come upon him.
The flame licked his skin. Then it wrapped itself around Kirin as if it was a gentleman ravishing the trap in arms.
Kirin gasped.
Pleasure surged through his body, permeating his muscles, nerves, and veins.
Pleasure? Perhaps I meant agony?
No.
Pleasure it was.
Immense! Immense! Immense amounts of pleasure!
Because Kirin... was a masochistic trap.
Advertisement
- In Serial51 Chapters
Marriage And Monsters - An Eschatological Romance
A healthy marriage is an ongoing conversation. So what happens when one partner is speaking English and the other is speaking the Celestial Language of Creation? Also the world seems to be ending, so maybe that should be a priority. Civilization is collapsing, magic and horror are rising, and suddenly all those lazy day conversations about heroism and fantasy are becoming very, very real. Can Sean and Haley's oddball partnership save the day? Can it even survive? Updates Tuesdays/Thursdays, will always be posted to /r/rational when a new chapter goes up.
8 88 - In Serial39 Chapters
Live by the Sword
--Follow a bandit prone to making poor choices in life. He lives in a somewhat medieval age where steel is king, blood is shed fairly lightly, and weakness gets you punished fast. But that's okay. As long as he has his sword, he'll be fine. Right? --This story is tragic and contains some depictions of violence and nudity. The attitudes of the characters don't represent my views and some of them are highly questionable. Due to these reasons, I've flagged the story as adult content. --I've been working on Live by the Sword since as far back as 2012 and it is my first actual effort at completing a book. Maybe I'll stick with it and there will be paperbacks of it some day. Who knows. Either way, I hope the words I tell give you amusement and perhaps some cause to think. Cheers.
8 108 - In Serial55 Chapters
Devour
Just a simple story of Jio De Vil and some other characters. In Jio's eye, it's either your a friend or a foe. He doesn't care what or where you are from, like a simpleton, but those who hurt him or the people he cares for will pay ten-fold, wishing they never meet him. Fate can be cruel, but his luck and perseverance trample all odds.
8 154 - In Serial13 Chapters
Unfair (Haikyuu X Male!Reader)
~ DISCONTINUED ~"You know what's unfair? How charming he is, how oblivious he is, how he can make anyone fall in love with him without even trying to and lastly.. how cute he can be."___________M/N, an American boy that debuted as a Japanese speaking idol at the age of 12, will now spend his first year of high school at Karasuno high thanks to his father.Sent there to take a pause from his idol career, he is now the assistant coach for the male volleyball team.The question is.. what will happen during this year?~→ Haikyuu!Various X Male!Reader ←//Not a OneShots Book//~Am I bad at grammar or what
8 142 - In Serial6 Chapters
Not my world
Legit just some au I made a few weeks ago (combines the SMB 3 show and the games) and is heavily based on my own HC'SBase idea of itA young Kooky Von Koopa was making a Portal machine for fun in the basement, which they got all to themselves. When they go to test it for the first time, all goes well, until they decide to step through the portal... with the gateway home closing behind them they have no way of returning meeting new friends with alternate versions of them & their siblings trying to rebuild the portal along the way. Who knows where their story will go!All characters belong to NintendoCover by me
8 189 - In Serial11 Chapters
Red Roses (XianWang-English Version) - END
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's Second Life after Reincarnation, but this time Wei Wuxian didn't want to be the underdog to Lan Wangji. ️ Top/Seme : Wei Wuxian Bottom/Uke : Lan Wangji this is Xianwang area, not Wangxian! here Lan Wangji is the uke/bottom! those who don't like don't read, ok? Areas: Yaoi, BxB, BL, Homophobic get out of the way!
8 200

