Hey guys, I'm currently writing chapter 5 and there's something I want to know.

Do you guys mind extremely broken english?

I'm stuck between 2 styles. One's semi-modern who I think is too advanced for the period and one's so primitive that writing it is both giving me a headache and causing my grammar senses to go haywire and I personally think it's a crime.

Here's a sample of both:

The semi-modern one:

Semi-modern:

Cold… So cold…

Cave is cold…

I hate cold… I hate snow…

I hug mama, but mama is also cold…

Please, let cave be warm… please…

Listen, young child.

A voice in my head? I heard about it before.

I look at a carving in the corner, “Awa?”.

Some in cave look at me. Some laugh at me, others just ignore me.

Maybe it is the cold. Playing tricks.

The extremely primitive one:

Primitive:

Cold… So cold…

Cave is cold…

I hate cold… I hate snow…

I hug mama, but mama is also cold…

Please, cave be warm… please…

Listen, young child.

Voice in head? heard about before.

I look, carving in corner, “Awa?”.

Some in cave look. Some laugh, others ignore.

Maybe cold. Playing tricks.

Please tell me which to use.

I also made this on Webnovel and I'm going to write the chapter based on the sum of both sites.