I am the protagonist. I mean,I think therefore I am, it’s the only thing I can prove in this world. That means I am the center of my own universe. I am the main character of this story. Then why doesn’t it feel like it.

In this club room, luckily enough I attend a liberal highschool that allows for niche clubs like Anime Club, anime is my shit. I should be the king here, but instead. I’m just another side lined misfit. The president and vice are female. The female favoritism in this club is so strong that I suspect that these weebs might be simps. When did you become an incel? I’m not a damn incel. I had sex last week. I look over at the twink hanging on the arm of the president. I smile at him, but he averts his eyes. He’s a shy one; wants to keep his gayness on the down low so his parents don’t find out. We can’t all be so lucky to be born with parents who don’t give a shit about you, but atleast I was. If you couldn’t tell by my unique manner of speech already; Unlike my peers I wasn’t gifted with an upbringing where both parental parties bestowed their values onto myself. Not an orphan, mind you, my parents just work night shifts. They sleep when I’m at home and they work when I sleep. It’s been that way for years now. I try to connect, but I always feel like a stranger when talking to them. My mind has been warped. Without a father figure I turned to the first male older figures in my life. 4chan. I was raised by 4chan, even went through the cringy /pol/ phase where you unironically quote ‘despite making up only 15% of the population……’ But that stage of my life is over now. I’m a normal human, if you discount my tendency to tell people to kill themselves. Enough introductions let us get to the plot. Then there is that voice. She likes to be called Eris. Self diagnoses schizophrenia. That or I’m receiving messages from a god. She harmless though, just whispers my insecurities into the back of my skull. I already do that, so the only real harm is that I’m double dipping on shaming myself.

Screaming, the anime kids are screaming. Did something funny happen? I look up, “What’s happ--” A large bright light is coming from the ceiling. It’s incredibly incandescent. Did a circuit short? I rush to grab the fire extinguisher. As I begin to run I feel myself being lifted off of my feet.

Crashing onto the hard dirt floor I brace for impact. The world is in shades of green. Like being viewed through a night vision camera. I stand up, a breeze flows between my knees. I look down. I’m naked; not only that, but I’m not me. This isn’t my body! Short and covered in scales. Tracing myself with my hand….No, with my claws. What the fuck am I?

Race: Kobold

Jesus fuck! A UI screen popped up right in front of my eyes. It’s like a video game…

Wait…

Wait…

No fucking way.

I really am a main character! I’ve been isekaid. Okay, calm down, first thing first. “Inspect.”

Name: Anon

Race: Kobold Level: 1/5

Skills: English[Common](Majoy), Draconic (Medium), Gold in league, Trap Detection (Medium), Night Vision(Medium) Tittles: Chosen, Quick learner

Was being gold in league the only skill that carried over from my past life. I should have been a better human, but the past is the past. Only betas get hung up about things they can not change. The other two skills. Nightvision; which I presume is what I’m using to see in this pitch black cave, and trap detection are probably racial abilities. Along with speaking draconic, that is probably the language of kobolds. Thankfully common and english are the same thing in this world. The other noteworthy thing is that my level has a cap, which means I have a goal to achieve.

I was in a tunnel. I had two choices to make. I could walk on the path that sloped down or the path that sloped up. The downward path smelled of sulfur and a great heat came from that direction. I choose to walk upwards. After walking for a while I come across a huge beetle. By beetle standards he was huge, or maybe it was because I was smaller than what I’m used to. If the tropes hold up then this should work “Inspect.”

Scarab Beetle Level 1/5

Do we have the same level? How? I look around for a rock of usable size. I’m going to crush this thing for even having the audacity to stand on the same playing field as myself. A main character can not share his stage with insects. Without making a sound I procure a large enough rock and sneak up behind it. I hold the rock up high and slam it down on it’s armored back side. It bounces off harmlessly. The beetle slowly turns around to face me. It’s two beady eyes bulging out of it’s tiny head. For a moment we stare at each other. It’s back side lifts up, fluttering wings then jumping for me. “Ahhh!” I open my mouth to scream. It lurches right at my head. Too late do I realize my mistake, with my mouth open and it flying towards my face. It has nowhere to fly but into my mouth. I immediately shut my jaw, but the beetle is too fast. It’s head has made its way into my mouth. With a clean bite the head is severed from the body.

Level up! Learned skill: Bite!

I spit out the head of the insect then begin scrubbing my tongue with my claws. It tastes horrible. Like instant mashed potatoes made of dirt. When the taste receded I closed the UI screen. A level up, just from that! Maybe when a level one kills a level one they level up. Eris was acting weird, she was being logical. Following her logic then to get to level two I need to kill a level two, or possibly two level ones.

Abnormal status: Poisoning (Minor)

Oh, fun. I can already feel the bile rising through my throat.

I spew chunks.

Then I keep spewing....

At some point I lost consciousness, but upon awakening I am met by a new UI.

Abnormal statues: Starvation (Minor) New Skill: Poison Immunity (minior)

I wasn’t poisoned anymore, and I was now harder to poison.

The second time I encountered a beetle I let it be. Walking right past it. It didn’t bother me and I didn’t bother it. Walking through these cave tunnels has only agitated my hunger. It had upgraded from minor to major and my stomach was starting to agree with the UI. I could feel the hunger pains as my stomach tied itself into knots. By the time I came across the third beetle a thought came to my head. I was already immune to it’s poison. I could, in theory, eat it. In some cultures bugs are a delicacy. I reasoned to myself, then quickly discredited it. That’s something that boosie white people say to shock other small worlded whites. It’s not something I would do. What protagonist has ever died of starvation. Eris is right. I can’t die here, starving in some random cave. I need to step up. This time I don’t bother with a rock. A spear would be nice, but I’m a monster right now. Monsters come equipped with tools. I lung for it, mouth wide open.

The starvation went back to minor. After eating another bug the debuff disappeared and I was already at level three. The taste is like raw crab. Not that I’ve ever eaten crab raw, but it’s what I imagine it’d taste like. I just need to smash nine more bugs and I’d be at level max level. Jeez, I can reach the peak of a kobold that quickly. I hope that I don’t get stuck there.

Level up!

I was level four already. I was on my way out of the cave, I knew that because I was walking upwards. That’s not how you actually navigate out of caves, but it made sense logically. Not like I had anything else to go off of. It’s incredibly boring, walking, sleeping, eating. Long ago had the novelty of having a new body in a new world had worn off. Just as I was about to raise my tiny claws to heaven and scream at the gods a new thing came into view. Seeing a scaled tail rounding around a corner. A scaled tail that looked similar to mine.

“Hey!” I shout while rushing after it. Turning the corner, there’s more kobolds. Noticing first that they are shorter than me. A quick inspect confirms that they are all level one. They pause. “New?” Then look at eachother “New.” The other confirms. “Leave now. Run.”

“Why would I run?”

“Dragon, bad dragon.”

They sell toys in this world too? “What do you mean?”

“Hurt kobolds.”

I turn to leave, but as they were leaving I double back and begin to follow them. It was a chance to see a real life dragon! Plus, if someone was in trouble then I should help them. Where did that sentatment come from? Fuck off Eris, I’m a good person.

For the first time my night vision turned off. Ahead of me is the flickering light of a bonfire. A large opening is carved inside the mountain. There is a small hole in the roof for ventilation. A large green dragon sits atop a hoard of gold. The group that warned me are now at its feet kneeling in front of it. From this distance I can’t hear what the kobolds are saying. Only the dragon’s massive voice echoes to my ears. I see the dragon pick up a human sized spear. In its massive claws it looks more like a toothpick.

I inspect it.

Green Dragon

Level 200/250

Skills: Dragon's breath(Master)

“Are you sure there is nothing you need to report?” The kobolds shake their heads. The dragon brings the spear down, skewering one of them. He lifts up the skewered kobold and holds it over the bonfire. “Are you sure?” He asks again as he roasts the kobold. The others shake their head. I want to jump out. I want to stand up for them, but the dragon is just too large and too high leveled. I silently thank them for standing up for me. Even at the cost of their lives. As the dragon pops the roasted kobold into his mouth the sound of crunching bones fills the cavern. “So who’s the uncrested stud of a kobold watching us?” The dragon looks right at me. “You’re quite large for a kobold. You would do well in the breeding pits.”

Nope, nope, I turn and run. Nopeing the fuck out of there. I won’t be captured and used as the plaything of some dragon. Hearing the dragon's low chuckle. “There’s nowhere to run little one.” I make a proclamation to myself, I will free these kobolds. Someday, I don’t know how I can take on a dragon. I should leave this cave and return to help, but he’s probably blocking the exit. I slow to a jog, just to put a large distance between me and him.

After a long jog I stop. I’m out of breath and my legs hurt. Driven by a purpose I use even my rest time as a way to plan. When my body rests it is time for my mind to exercise. Sneaking past the dragon is a no go. I could explore the deeper parts of the cave, but that might just be a dead end into a lava vent. The bugs are my only food source. While their squishy insides provide me with food and water it can't be healthy to only eat one thing. I have a few months until I get some kind of vitamin deficiency. There are no other options, but hide and eat bugs till I die. I hate that. I hate the feeling of powerlessness that it gives me. Letting out my frustrations I slam my fist into the wall behind me. It sinks into the soft earth. Rocks fall out of the loose soil onto the ground in front of me. Wait! That’s it. I can dig!

Eat, dig, eat, dig, and eat. I started at the highest point and started digging outwards. The small cavern was terrifying to crawl through, but with its small size I didn’t fear a cave in. The excavation was greatly sped up when I had another realization. The carapace of the beatles are rounded; almost like a shovel. I used it to shovel out dirt like an escaping prisoner would use their food bowl. Another gift from the beetles was that with a few planned breaks and a little grinding you can shape it into a improvised knife. Just having a weapon made me feel better, I didn’t have to lunge at everything head first anymore. Making the dagger has also granted me new skill.

Crafting(Minor)

Crafting the tunnel also netted me

Digging(Medium)

I killed another bug and checked my level. 4 One more kill and I’ve hit maxed level.

Hearing footsteps I stopped moving. There wasn’t anywhere to hide, so I just waited for them. It was only the rhythmic padding of two feet, I was confident that I could handle one enemy. The approaching enemy slowly plodded towards me. It was another kobold, one I didn’t recognize. He was only level one. “What are you doing here?”

“Dragon said bring you back for him.”

“I don’t want to fight you, can’t you just go back and pretend you didn’t see me?”

The kobold shook its head, pointing at its eyes. “Dragon see.” In other words the dragon can use them as security cameras. “Then why not run away with me?”

He shakes his head again. This time pointing to a stamp on his chest where the scales don’t grow. “Crested. Obey or die.”

I nodded, gripping my knife. “So we have to fight?”

He nodded. Sighing, I prepare myself to take a life. This’ll be the first time I’ve killed anything larger than a bug. On humans you want to stab for the heart, in between the rib cage. I don’t know kobold anatomy that well, but my opponent hasn’t even taken a fighting stance. He’s like a minimum wage employee doing a job he doesn’t want to do. I applaud him morally but I know that as soon as I attack he won’t be so self sacrificing. I run a hand up my own chest. The beating of my heart is strongest in the middle. Underneath the sternum. I feel the gap in between my ribs. It's about an inch for each, just like a human’s.

Springing forward I aim my knife to breach the skin and curve towards the heart. His eyes go wide, his lack of stance leads to his arms not coming up in time to block. The blade makes a sickening tearing sound as it plunges through flesh. He lets out a high pitched scream. I try to retract the knife, but it’s stuck. I let go and jump back. Now he’s in a fighting stance, but his eyes keep flickering from me to the knife in his chest. Blood has started to pour out around the knife. He begins to cough. “So you really can’t retreat?” It was me giving him one more chance to surrender and confirming that he had to fight me to the death. He nods. Gripping the knife handle he pulls it out from his chest. Blood flows like a waterfall. He drops the knife to the ground. He is drunkenly swaying as he crouches down. I hear his teeth clack together as he tests his jaw. He’s going to lunge at me for a bite. I respond by turning tail and running. He lunges forward. His teeth find purchase on my tail. “Fucking shit!” God damn. The pain, but with him on the ground I deliver a few kicks with my triangle shaped feet until he lets go of my tail. Then I run. He has an open chest wound. He can’t chase me for long. I run away until I get the UI screen popping up.

Level up! You are now at max level for your species. Pick your evolution path!

Kobold Theif

Kobold Warrior

Kobold Shamen

“Can I get some more info?”

Kobold thief - Light footed and quick handed. Their small size and night vision make them the almost perfect thief Kobold Warrior- Despite their small size they are very agile. With their tails to balance out their momentum they can wield weapons much larger than themselves. Kobold Shaman- Tribe leaders, a magical kobold class focused on healing and daily life.

Breh. Magic? I know it’s a fantasy world, but to think that I could access magic on my first evolution. This species might be a lucky

score. I select kobold shaman. A white light envelops my body. I lose consciousness, but when I awaken I am greeted by a few pop ups.

New Skill learned- Pryomancer(Minor) New Skill learned- Aquamancer(Minor) New Skill learned- Healing magic(Minor)

“Inspect”

Name: Anon

Race: Kobold, Kobold Shamen Level: 1/10

Skills: English[Common](Majoy), Draconic (Medium), Gold in league, Trap Detection (Medium), Night Vision(Medium), Bite (Minor), Poison Immunity (minior), Crafting(Minor), Digging(Medium), New Skill learned- Healing magic(Minor),New Skill learned- Aquamancer(Minor),New Skill learned- Pryomancer(Minor) Tittles: Chosen, Quick learner Four spells added to your spell book! Create Water, Create Fire, Cure, Heal(minor).

“Spell book?” I ask, a new UI greats me. It’s a screen that is imitating a worn book. In it two skills are listed, create water and create fire. Along with a small description of them. Create Water, creates a 1ft cube of water or fills a chosen small container. Create Fire, creates half a cubic foot of fire. Cure, cures all status ailments that are minor or below. Heal, heals any wounds that are minor or below. I have free water forever now! That is super cool. I almost want to cut myself just to test my new healing magic, but that would be supid. Instead I direct my excitement into my pyromancy. I focus my mind on a random spot on the floor, extend my hand and call out the name of the magic. “Create Fire!” A flash of light blinds me. I can feel the heat quickly brush against my body then recede as the fire with no fuel burns out. The sudden impact of light destroyed my night vision. All I could see was white light for a few seconds. I blink rapidly to clear my eyes. Protip: Don’t create light when you’re using night vision. Thanks Eris. I return to the corpse of the kobold. He bled out while chasing after me. I follow the blood back to my knife. The excitement of learning magic washes away. Replaced by the somberness of being a killer. I tell myself that it’s not my fault. It’s the fault of that damned dragon for forcing him with the slave crest, but that doesn’t change the fact that I killed him. Out of respect for the dead I use my digging skill to quickly dig him a shallow grave.

The tunnel is like a glacier core sample of how far my digging skill has progressed. At first the walls are ruff and it’s sketchy to crawl through, but as you go forward it gradually gets better until the walls are flat and you can breathe easy passing under the solid ceiling. Currently my digging skill is at Major status. Which is just one away from max. I presume master is the max, it’s the highest I’ve seen so far. Admiring my tunnel as I dug I pushed against the far wall. It gives and I’m stuck tumbling forward. I brace for the roof to cave in upon me, but it never comes. When I open my eyes I am momentarily stunned by the brightness of the sun. I turn off my night vision and look at the ground until my eyes adjust. I’m out of the mountain! I’m halfway up a mountain. At the base of a mountain is a forest it is split by a river, after that there are fields of wheat, and in the distance I can see a city of stone blocks. Humans! I can get them to slay the dragon. Then I quickly slap myself for having thought that. If this is following fantasy tropes then kobolds would be registered as some kind of monster. I can’t just rush into their city all willy nilly. I need to hone my skills in the forest. If I can grind in the forest then I can even reach my next evolution before reaching the city. I should make my way towards the river. Rivers are a source of clean drinking water for all kinds of creatures, but before I hunt any creatures I need to upgrade my weapons. There is wood and plants around me, that is all the materials I need for a bow.