This was a memory from a long time ago, in a place farther than the reach of humans.

— Your Grace, may we grant blessings upon the fate of the world.

— Your Grace, may we protect the pillars of the fate of the world.

— Your Grace, may we embrace the turbulence from the fate of the world.

Time felt like it had slipped away; in place of her humanity was a feeling of power unlike anything she had ever felt. But there was a catch - her new power, her new identity was governed by a force beyond her own desire. Spoken simply, she could wield her power, but the power also compelled her.

In between assemblies and lessons, during which the abstract concept of “protecting the fate of the world” was slowly beaten into her in the form of practical actions (talk to the angels, summon divine power, perform rituals), sometimes she found herself without anything to think about. It was strange, being a Goddess, and she wondered if all deities felt this way. The angels all looked like they had a purpose and knew what to do, their every word compelled by the power within them. It was the same for her; all she had to do was reach out to that familiar and encompassing power. The shackle of duties could barely be felt among the euphoria of fulfilling the purpose of her new existence.

But sometimes, she found herself estranged. Left with an inexplicable sense of emptiness that weighed in her heart, even though she no longer should have one.

And sometimes, she tried to think back on what it was like before this. To the unspoken time, was how she liked to call it. Her memories were fragmented, of course, because she was recalling memories from another existence together. In fact, she had no idea how she was even recalling memories that were not her own. The angels told her to not pay the dreams any mind as they would simply fade with time, inevitable remnants of the process of become divine.

And faded away they did. But she found herself searching for them nevertheless, if only to escape from the stifling emptiness that surfaced whenever she was alone. Memories of an unspoken time.

It was one of those days. She sat in the chair reserved for the Goddess, staring aimlessly at a spot on the exquisite sculpture of the Goddess embracing the world. The angels had all left after the assembly ended, and she had time until her next lesson about divine power. Feeling without energy as usual, she started recalling the memories again, even though she had no idea what she was supposed to feel.

Meeting someone under a tree. Looking at families. Sharing a room with someone. Taking the hands of a couple. Hearing someone play the flute. Watching someone read a book.

Sometimes the memories repeated, sometimes they overlapped into a meaningless mess. But she was enraptured nevertheless, hungered for whatever she could salvaged, completely dazed until some force pushed her out of it.

— Your Grace.

— Your Grace, are you alright?

Brown hair. Hazel eyes. A gentle voice. She didn’t lose her sight, but for some reason she had to will her mind to recognize what was in front of her, or rather, the figure that was standing next to her. It was Hirule, one of the angels. She then responded to him as usual.

— I’m okay, just thinking about… angels, that’s all.

Hirule was kind and approachable, and he was more understanding of her struggles while learning the duties of the Goddess compared to other angels. He was the only one she dared to ask about the memories, but she also did not want to worry him by saying she had been doing the opposite of “paying the dreams no mind”.

He looked at her and, recalling something, began to say.

— It must be overwhelming having to lead all of us angels, on top of your other duties.

And she blurted out.

— They are kind of intimidating, to be honest.

They had lived for countless years serving the Goddesses before her, so while they looked at her with nothing but reverent and polite gazes, it was the kind that made her feel like she had to live up to an expectation that she was yet to grasp. She pushed this feeling away, remembering one of the angels telling her that the fate of the world rests on her shoulder. The statue of the Goddess was always smiling, not grimacing from confusion.

Hirule put out a small smile as he said.

— We must be doing a terrible job if we’ve scared the one person we have to support. Sorry about that, Your Grace.

— No, it’s just… I still don’t know if I can do this. I mean, I have to, I just don’t think I’m ready yet…

Or ever will be. But she kept this to herself. Hirule seemed to ponder a bit before he said.

— You can take your time, Your Grace. The fate of the world won’t just crumble one day - we have spent centuries keeping it stable. There’s no problem right now, and if there is we can help you solve it. Please have faith in us.

— Crumble…

— It won’t, Your Grace. Not so easily. We have the pillars, or angels who kept track on the most important forces influencing the fate of the world. They usually could handle most problems by themselves, only needing you to be informed. The only thing that requires your personal attention…

— The Divinity Ritual, at the Temple of Lunacape. The kingdom of Cassendria.

The names she had heard many times. She tried to not think about how they also came up in her caricature of memories. Hirule nodded as he continued.

— Yes, but that’s only every decade or more. We will also be there to guide you, so you can rest assured Your Grace.

— You are all very capable, what can I even do as Goddess?

The angels, the voices from the her divinity, from the believers of the Goddess… they were all expecting from her, the new Goddess of Fate. But what was she to live up to if the angels could do everything? Why would they believe in her when the angels were doing everything?

— We are but your hands and feet, Your Grace. Your word is our command.

— ……

She know she could command them. But what was the point when they knew what to do better than her?

— You keep us in check, Your Grace. Us angels don’t live for the believers, we live for you. So you can punish us when we are doing goes against what you need to do to protect the fate of the world.

— What does that mean, really?

— It’s unlikely, but angels could, instead of preserving the forces influencing the fate of the world, use their power for other reasons. To benefit the humans they know, for example.

— That can happen? But why is it a bad thing to help the humans who believe in us?

— Sometimes, humans may wish to destroy the very world they live in. In such cases, we are not supposed to grant such wish. That would go against our duty of protecting the fate of the world.

— Oh…

So “save the world” for the faith of Fate was not “making everyone happy”…

— We can’t grant the wish of every human. We can only protect the world they live in.

That made sense, but it was also unbearably sad for some reason.

Even as Goddess, she could not just help everyone.

Seeing her look down, Hirule stopped and began to say something else. She listened as he continued on.

— In any case, there are two simple rules that you can follow to make sure such issues don’t come up.

— One, angels are not allowed to stay in the human world for more than one month at a time. This will minimize the time we have to get attached to the humans we meet.

— Two, no other deities beside the Goddess are allowed to exist. This is a rule passed down from the first Goddess of Fate in order to minimize turbulence to the fate of the world that we cannot control.

She tried to put the knowledge into her head as she pondered, almost to herself.

— I’ve heard of the second rule. But doesn’t the first one make it hard for us to help… I mean, do much to the fate of the world?

Hirule seemed to smile as he said.

— There are key moments in the fate of certain individual humans that if intervened, can greatly change the course of their destiny and thus change the fate of the world. And this is what I’ve heard from the last, last… last Goddess.

— What was it?

— That rule was actually made to protect the angels, or any divine being that decides to descend for any reason.

— You mean, even the Goddess?

— You too, Your Grace. The human world is beautiful in its complexity, the way the fates of humans are interlinked, but we shouldn’t stay there for too long. I do not know why myself, but if the last, last… last Goddess had said so, the rule must be there to protect us.

— Protect us, huh…

She kept thinking, but she could not figure out why would being in the human world would hurt divine beings like the angels, who were immune to each and every of the ailments that agonized the humans. Divine power was infallible, just like their unwavering duties.

And Hirule said it himself, it was unlikely for the angels, who had been diligently performing their duties over centuries, to let themselves be swayed and misuse their power. Especially by some humans they would have met only for a while. The human lifespan was pitifully insignificant compared to how long divine beings have existed.

But if following these rules was what she could do as Goddess, then she would try to do just that.

— Thank you, Hirule. I’ll remember them.

— I’m glad if I have helped you in some way, Your Grace… And, I hope this might not be too much to ask.

— ?

— You seemed a bit dazed earlier. Could you be… having those dreams again?

She felt the skin on her face go still, so it was not like she reacted, but Hirule seemed to take that as an answer. It was a bit unnerving to be seen through, but she also took solace in the fact that he was the only one to care enough to point it out.

— Your Grace, if I may…

— I know they’ll go away eventually, and I’m not really dwelling on them either…

It was a half truth, but one she could live with. Hirule did not need to worry even more about this bumbling excuse of a Goddess.

— I know you’ll be fine, Your Grace. It’s just something that has happened before… well, perhaps you may find it useful to not sleep for extended amounts of time.

— Have I been sleeping too much?

There were lessons and angel assemblies every other day, so she went to sleep and woke up around the same time each day. It was similar to how much humans normally sleep, actually.

— That’s not it. Very soon there will be no more lessons, and angel assemblies only happen once in a while. You may find yourself with a lot of time to spare, and…

— Once in a while? How long would that be?

— It would be a year, or even a decade, depending on the events around the world. The last Goddess chose to spend the time sleeping, and it did help her pass the time more easily. But…

— But…?

Hirule was looking away when he said this.

— The dreams… took longer to fade for her. So if I may, Your Grace, please take care not to spend too much time sleeping.

— Alright, Hirule.

She could not imagine sleeping for days, let alone years at once… but perhaps it was nothing unusual for divine beings, whose lengthy existence could render years into feeling like days to humans. Perhaps it was something she would eventually come to understand.

No longer a human, but a Goddess.