Tell me, how has the patriarchy justified itself throughout human history?

Do you dare say it isn’t the sexual dimorphism of the human race?

No, you don’t. That is the root of the problem, and so long as it exists the patriarchy will keep coming back, no matter how much progress is made by social movements.

Therefore, the obvious solution that could get rid of it once and for all is reducing the sexual dimorphism to a near negligible level.

Want to know which family amongst extant animal families has the least sexual dimorphism?

It's the Aves! The family that includes all modern birds!

So you see, turning into birds will solve one of the greatest issues humanity faces. We could successfully eliminate the patriarchy!

So join me, support me, and help me save you!

Let me bring you… to Parrotise!

…

Captain Wayfinder was exhausted. She had been awake for nearly 3 days straight watching the engineers try to recover the formula that Torra had computed.

When she first brought the engineering team to the site they scoffed and told her it would take them a couple minutes at the longest to get her the data even if it was encrypted.

Those minutes had now turned into days with nearly half of the engineering team collapsed on the floor.

First it turned out that the hard drives were actual hard drives rather than SSDs and Torra had somehow disabled the fans that kept them cool so they literally all overheated and melted!

Seeing that the engineers merely shook their heads and put the melted drives into a strange looking machine which was supposedly capable of scanning melted hard drives and, using some machine learning models that they had created, reverse predicted what the hard drives data looked like before it was melted with 99.99% accuracy.

Turns out, that the machine learning model of theirs had never been shown hard drives like these. Torra built each one of the hard drives using a different kind of transistor that even the government, with all of their resources, had never seen before!

That’s when the engineering team started to actually take this seriously. Now, half of them had collapsed in frustration, and the other half were nearly worshiping Torra’s genius. Captain Wayfinder was certain that if they weren’t contracted by the government, these lunatics would have built a shrine for Torra at this point.

Out of the entire engineering team, only their head was different. He was still working diligently, although he would occasionally look through his photo album of cute cats and murmur something about doing this for the kittens. To each their own though, no judgement was gonna come from Captain Wayfinder.

And like this, nearly a week passed until finally, a breakthrough. Not the kind that pleased Captain Wayfinder though.

“Captain Wayfinder, we overestimated him,” the engineering team lead sighed with a deadpan look and eye bags that stretched to his lips.

“What do you mean?” Captain Wayfinder yawned. “You got his formula?”

“No, the computers here really aren’t capable of rendering something so complicated. He was using them to remotely run renders on far more powerful computers located throughout the city. Using new, never before seen, transistors in his hard drives was to throw us off and make us think he actually did all of his work from this lab.”

Captain Wayfinder’s eyes’ twitched.

The entire engineering team, save their leader, immediately fainted in anger, even the ones that wanted to worship Torra.

Indeed, the most likely scenario that they had all thought of was true. And they had just wasted a week. Torra and the data were likely long gone to some foreign country where he was actively synthesizing his ridiculous virus.

…

I really wanted to laugh as I watched those fools from my tree branch.