《Classroom of Doom》Volume 3 - Chapter 19: No homo.
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Amidst Yuka-sensei's jubilant yet mysterious words, I had no single clue on what the special exam for this month would base itself on.
Strictly speaking, a special exam should be based on something that has a serious amount of variety of things into it or just a certain theme that contains a very high degree. Yet, our first special exam was a simple argument.
Well, it wasn't definitely simple, but my point is, it was somewhat arranged. Basara-sensei just came up with it on the spot and the rest of the class was bound to come to an agreement regardless of possible internal disagreements.
Still, the most noteworthy thing about the previous special exam was how the girls were somehow extremely prepared for it even though Basara-sensei had not mentioned a single thing about it.
I've thought about the possibility of them knowing about the contents before-hand yet that sounds extremely unlikely because Basara-sensei came up with it on the spot.
Therefore, there was something else---
"Let's do a matching contest!"
...
"What!?"
I don't think anyone in my class actually missed out on saying that. In other words, we all interrogated Yuka-sensei in an aggressive tone right away.
"E-Ehh!? What's wrong? I thought you'd all agree with me straight up!"
"Yuka-sensei! How can you be this dumb!?"
Okay, Ryoken, her idea isn't dumb, you're being way too savage about it without knowing the full extent of it.
"I really thought it was going to be something serious this time around... What a letdown..."
Even Gale, someone who doesn't speak at all voiced her opinion.
Although I did say 'What!?' back then, I'm fairly sure that it wasn't due to the same reason as these people.
Now, why would I say that you ask?
Because the whole premise is for bloomers.
"You're all misunderstanding. Let me explain."
Finally ceasing our chaotic confusion to an end, Yuka-sensei probably said the words we all wanted to listen.
"My idea for the upcoming special exam would have to be something that entwines with a certain moral aspect. In other words, I thought about developing friendships along with the students here!"
No, please no.
It won't work.
"And so, I figured that since this class is around 24 students, that we could form pairs for this!"
"Okay, but what for?"
She seemed to be somewhat aggressive about the situation too since it was unusual for Yukishiro to be speaking.
This is what happens once a girl if off her phone.
Talkative 100.
"Erm, you are...?"
How the hell did you still not know your own students' names?
"Yukishiro..."
"Oh, alright! Well, Yuki, I have decided that in order to create this matching contest that I would use a very simple method and that is, physical compatibility."
Now that's absurd. There's no way that there are people here who are actually evenly matched. What's more, is, if your aim is to create friendship among us, then you should literally drop this idea. Because you'll most likely develop rivalry instead of friendship.
"But, before you assume anything first, I will first explain how the physical compatibility works! Unlike what some of you might've already thought about, the physical compatibility that I have in mind will match the strong with the weak!"
...
At least I said it in my mind, okay.
"Now, you might be like: 'Ehhhh!? Matching me with someone who is weaker than me!? What a drag?! I don't want that!!' I know that feeling! But, if you think about it, isn't it fun!?"
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And how exactly is it fun to be matched with someone who is physically weaker than you?
But, well, knowing Basara-sensei, he was most likely plotting something evil from the get-go, so this can't be that bad, right...?
Meanwhile, just as Yuka-sensei was about to continue, an interruption came forward.
"Sorry to interrupt, but how is this match compatibility even going to work? I mean this without any sense of disrespect but aren't we males supposedly more physically capable than most of the females here?"
Although Susaga probably didn't mean to stir something up, he certainly got multiple glares from certain females.
Honestly, I would normally agree with him, but I just can't. If a midget like Hinagiku can whip the floor with someone like Rayazaki then what exactly tells me that they are all supposedly weak?
Absolutely fucking nothing!
"Saga, was it?"
"Susaga..."
Hey, at least she remembered a part of your name. Be glad, dude.
"Ok, so, Susaga, while you do have a point, I had already thought about that. You see, the match compatibility will be between girls and boys only!"
"...Huh? I don't get it..."
Well, same.
What's the harm with match compatibility between people of the same gender? I really don't see the harm.
No homo, of course.
"It's no fun to match boys with boys or girls with girls! I know about the physical difference between genders overall. Therefore, it will all work out under this premise: the most physically capable boy will be matched with the least physically capable girl! The least physically capable boy with the most physically capable girl, and so on!"
I see.
If we go by this premise then it's certainly possible to form a physical match. Although, the whole premise invites the exact opposite of what average match compatibility would suggest. Essentially, instead of matching someone who is physically strong with someone is equally physically strong, it's the exact opposite. Someone who is extremely physically capable will be matched with someone who is basically physically incapable.
"That's cute and all but how are you going to determine the compatibility though?"
Christ, Hyunda refuses to acknowledge her as a teacher or something.
I'm starting to think that he has something against blondes.
"W-Well, you see..."
You made her blush, you ruthless moron!
"Oh sorry... I meant to say, Yuka-sensei, could you please tell me the details of how you'll perform your delicate selection for the upcoming special exam that you have thought about?"
Weird... Why did Hyunda change his tone like that?
"You'll see."
What's even weird was how Yuka-sensei answered Hyunda with a slight hint of anger in her tone.
What the hell just happened?
"Thank you for your answer, Yuka-sensei, very much appreciated."
Hyunda even bowed. What?
"Tsk."
Wait, why are you clicking your own tongue?
Huh?
Am I missing something here!?
"Well, Hyunda over here, made a good point. How exactly would I determine the compatibility between the students here? Especially when it's a gender type of match, right?"
Yuka-sensei seemed slightly angry for some reason. Unlike her usual go-happy behavior she had the expression of a bull right now. Hyunda, what have you done?
"That's why I've decided to apply a very miscellaneous method for this! You will all be doing a 50-meter sprint run! Your timings will be essential to determine the compatibility, overall. With that said, everyone... run around the field for the upcoming ten minutes! After that, we will begin!"
"Ehhhh!?"
For the record, not a single boy complained.
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Yuka-sensei was going to the office to do something. Essentially, her office stayed in the middle of the boys' locker rooms and the girls' locker rooms. I had a general assumption that she was going to bring out a timer or something like that, in order to count our running speed time.
Also, even though Yuka-sensei had given that order, the majority of the girls weren't running, they were in the middle of running and walking.
Yes, I said the majority because there were some who were sprinting like some dumb idiots.
Namely, Ikkiri and Kanawari.
Wait, Kanawari? I would never have guessed that she was that fast.
Regardless, the true dumb idiots were Kawahara and Kuzan. They were running up ahead like madmen.
Well, I didn't exactly care about them honestly. I was going at the same pace as a certain individual.
"Be careful to not lose again."
And thus, I took off.
Around 3 minutes later, even though I wasn't sprinting she had caught up with me.
I wasn't running seriously because there was no point. And besides, I wanted to talk to a certain someone.
Yet, she kept running in my direction like crazy.
I had the feeling that my life was in danger.
The running platform on this field was an oval one. Pretty simple essentially. I wasn't trying to show off yet I had to somewhat accelerate.
"Hey, Hyunda!"
"What?"
Hyunda didn't seem like he was running seriously. Although to be fair, at the pace he was running, an average person could not keep up. The important part to notice about Hyunda was that he was breathing just like he was breathing a few minutes ago. In other words, he was breathing the same way before we even started running.
What I want to say is, it didn't matter whether he was running or not, this pacing was not even a problem for him.
He also wasn't being accompanied by anyone. He was in a line where he was neither close to anyone nor far too distant. It's as if Hyunda was purposedly trying to not be noticed overall.
Regardless, he was my true aim in this warm up sprint.
"What exactly did you do?"
"...What do you mean?"
"You made her angry, didn't you? How?"
"...I can't tell you. Actually, I can't tell anyone."
Hyunda was probably referring to how he vowed to Basara-sensei that he would never speak a word about it.
By 'it', I was referring to their earlier conversation. Yes, this was basically what I was aiming for. Basara-sensei said something to Hyunda regarding Yuka-sensei and I was awfully curious about it.
"Come on. I won't tell anyone."
"No, you don't get it. The information is far too good to be on someone else's hands."
"What the hell, dude? You got something against me?"
"It's not about you, really. It wouldn't matter who had asked me this question. You could be an Alien Emperor and I still wouldn't speak a single word."
"But Aliens probably have a way to scan your memories you know?"
I couldn't allow Hyunda to forget about that possibility. It's been implied on so many movies and games that Aliens most likely have the ability to scan your memories. Therefore there was no point in telling me that type of stuff.
"I was speaking hypothetically. Besides, I wouldn't see an Alien Emperor go out of his own way--- Well, 'his'? I don't even know if they have genders. That's a human thing, really. Well--- I wouldn't know. Whatever, my point is, I'm not telling you."
For something hypothetical, he made a huge deal about it. Hyunda even went as far as ranting about the secondary factors. Impressive, but still...
"Is that information that bad to the point where they wouldn't bother with it?"
"What? No. The information is good. But like, there's no superficial value to it. To be more precise, it's only good against Yuka-sensei."
No point in acting surprised about the fact that he said 'Yuka-sensei' since he was most likely aware that I was here under that premise.
"By the way--- I've been meaning to ask you this ever since you arrived here..."
"Oh? What is it? You got me curious now."
Hyunda has never asked me a question.
No homo, but I'm slightly excited.
"Erm, why is she...?"
Looking back, Hyunda asked me that question.
Oh, what the hell? That's the question. Low-key disappointed now, really.
"You mean that?"
"Yeah, that."
"I don't know really. I guess she's in high spirits."
"No, no, no! That's way too high-spirited. And I can't help but feel that you're involved."
"What? Hell no. She probably wants to produce some good results, that's all."
"You see, I get that. But she's not even looking at anywhere else but you at this point."
I wish this was a romantic situation. Because then, Hyunda's words would have made my heartbeat. Not by his own words alone but because his own words would imply that the one who is running after me is actually looking at me and only me.
But no---
She was looking at me alright. But, it was, without a doubt, not the look of someone who was searching for a romantic scenario.
The heart is red. Often, a red heart is used to decorate a romantic scene.
Yet, the only red she was most likely searching for was my blood, damn it!
"Don't worry, Hyunda. She'll run out of breath."
"Dude, what the hell is that?!"
Oh right, I forgot to mention, we had caught up with Kan. I'm surprised that someone like Kan, who smokes weed all the time, has the lunge capacity to run at this rapid pace.
Although Hyunda wanted to stay at his own pace, even he slowly realized that it was about time that he sped up.
"H-Hey, maybe we should speed up a little!"
I wasn't trying to suggest that we formed a competition or anything but I had a very wide feeling that my life was about to end for some reason.
She had surpassed Rayazaki, who, by the way, was staying behind only to talk with Hinagiku. Furthermore, the likes of Tsudo, who was staying behind the lines for cultural reasons, had been surpassed by her. Ultimately, not even Tatsu and Akihiko could keep up. Oh right, Susaga was basically like the majority of the girls at this point.
Between slow running and walking.
"I'm not moving from this position onwards, you two can do whatever the fuck you please."
Kan, however, objected to my proposal. Hyunda didn't, thus we sped up a little.
I think that overall 7 minutes had passed.
Yuka-sensei was nowhere to be seen.
Also...
"By the way, how is it going?"
"Um, I think that we might've been wrong..."
I'm saying this assuming that he's asking what I think he is asking.
"What do you mean?"
Well, it was natural that he wanted an explanation...
"So far, nothing has really happened. She's not showing any signs of manipulating Rayazaki..."
"I see. So, it's just a romantic type of talk?"
"Yeah, exactly. So far, it's only been that."
Really disappointing though. I was hoping for some intense manipulation to happen yet so far, nothing of that sort has happened. I'm not saying that the possibility is fully erased or something like that.
I can't simply overrule the possibility like that. But, realistically speaking, so far, Hinagiku and Rayazaki have been texting like some massive virgins.
"If such is the case, then what are you waiting for...?"
"Sorry?"
"Don't 'Sorry?' me. What I'm asking is, why aren't you making your move?"
I was slightly afraid that our conversation was being heard but that was somewhat impossible. The only ones in front of us were Sagasuga, Kawahara, and Kuzan. Sagasuga slowly climbed his own way to where Kawahara and Kuzan were.
And besides, we had, a while ago, surpassed Ryoken. His body was still aching.
Since my leg was already fine, I really didn't mind it.
All I had to do is to use my toes instead of using my full foot. Otherwise, the bone would contract, which I could not let it happen.
Yes, my bone was broken but it wasn't fully shattered. It was just a matter of time, realistically speaking.
Wow, what a bad logic.
Nonetheless, that was somewhat partial. What truly was on my mind right now was Hyunda's question.
"How am I supposed to make my move if there isn't any manipulation going on? If Hinagiku doesn't make her move on Rayazaki then I can't possibly make mine."
"Ah... So that's your reasoning."
By the way, can we just talk about how Ikkiri, Kanawari, Arkalee, and Akimiyashika are in front of us?
What the actual fuck? What happened to the 'boys are physically stronger than girls'?
Science is a myth, honestly.
Regardless, we were keeping our distance, otherwise, this whole conversation had no point.
"Is my reasoning wrong somehow?"
"It's not really wrong. But, it's incorrect right now."
"And why is that?"
Looking back, all Hyunda told me was that I had this chance. He reasoned that to beat someone who was committing manipulation, you, the secondary manipulator had to utilize the one that primal manipulator was manipulating to your own benefit.
What I assumed from his words was that, in order to defeat Hinagiku's scheme, I had to manipulate Rayazaki when she made her move.
Was I wrong somehow? I really think that this is the correct reasoning here.
"It's incorrect because that reasoning only works under the premise that Hinagiku makes her move on Rayazaki. If she doesn't, then that reasoning is useless."
No, but isn't that a good thing, actually?
"If Hinagiku doesn't make a move on her then it's completely fine, right?"
"Sure, it's fine. But, are you just going to sit back and let the situation be fine?"
"What?"
"Dude... You're... Ah, how do I say this... Really slow?"
"Huh?!"
I was seriously not understanding why Hyunda was saying something like that. Obviously, I got somewhat trigged.
"The only reason why I gave you that opportunity wasn't to make sure the situation was fine. It was to make sure that it wasn't fine. Of course, it's naturally beneficial for us that the situation is fine for us, yet is that really the potential of the situation?"
Certainly, the potential of the situation was far too wide in this case. I didn't exactly think about the potential of the situation since I was far too absorbed on making Rayazaki's life a living hell in the future.
"So you are saying that I should make the best out of the situation?"
"You do you. I already told you that. However, I'm just going to say this again... Rayazaki, right now, is yours to control. Yet if you only act on the premise that Hinagiku will make her move, then Rayazaki is irrelevant here. Because you're only acting on that premise."
Basically, what Hyunda just told me was that, the premise itself had already been established and that it was extremely fine for the situation to be fine. He, however, argued against his own words and said that the situation doesn't have to just be fine.
It could, essentially, be something more.
"Alright, but how do I use Rayazaki if Hinagiku isn't acting on the premise of manipulation?"
"Oi, oi. You can't be serious right now. I gave you the opportunity. But I refuse to babysit you. Have some originality, damn it!"
Shit, he was right. It was pretty non-sensical of me to ask all these questions while looking for an answer. What a sorry sight I am being right now.
"Also--- Please do something about that already..."
"Relax, she'll run out of breath soon!"
Why hasn't she ran out of breath yet!?
"She's obviously not running out of breath, you damn idiot!"
"Damn it, you're right!"
"Yeah, I fucking know I'm right! Just confront her already! She obviously wants something with you!"
Fuck, I did say those words back then because I seriously thought that it would be fun to throw some salt at her but she didn't like my joke it seems!
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask, but are you going to run seriously?"
"...Who knows..."
I asked that because despite that, we were basically sprinting at this point, his breath rhythm had not changed.
It makes me think that it was perhaps a good thing that Hyunda wasn't a part of the Street Fighter tournament.
Was I running alongside a monster or something like that?
Oi, someone, tell me.
"Well, let's just speed up a little bit..."
"Dude, we've been running for literally one reason alone. If I stay in the same position, nothing will happen to me. It's you who has to run, not me."
Hyunda had a point. Nothing happened to Kan, from the looks of it.
But, just in case---
"Just come along dude."
"Fuck no! I'm not going to be your shield!"
Shit, he realized my intention straight up.
"Tsk, guess you can't trust anybody these days..."
After I left those salty words, I decided to further speed up.
But---
"Hey, Daniel."
Hyunda apparently wanted to say something before we departed ways.
"Hm? What? I gotta speed up. Can't you see that I have an abomination coming after me!?"
"Yeah, I know, but I just wanted to say... Good luck!"
"Thanks, man..."
Leaving a smile behind, I officially had taken off.
Damn, what a bromantic moment.
No homo.
9 minutes must have passed, if not more.
I was constantly looking back and forth.
Usually, when someone is out for your blood, you would hear some sort of warcries or something of that sort.
Yet...
She was dead silent. Plus, she had her eyes wide open.
I noticed that she tied her hair and had a ponytail, but that was completely out of my caring right now.
What truly mattered was that she had some sort of evil intention towards me.
'Oh look, another harem protagonist being chased by a girl. Fucking damn it, I wish I was being chased by a girl all day long too.'
Me, when I watched To Love-Ru. Yeah, I was always high-key jealous of Rito honestly.
I really wanted to always have a girl chasing after me.
Well, I regret that.
I was actually going to fucking die!
Our distance was around 7 meters at this point.
Thus, I decided to speed up even further, which would imply that I would have to be at the same pace as Kawahara, Kuzan, and Sagasuga.
This also naturally meant that I would have to surpass the four girls ahead of me.
"..."
You know that awkward moment when you run past girls and they just look at you without saying nothing?
That's the moment you know you are being judged by them.
Fuck off you four, like I give a fuck about how you view me inside your mind.
"Wahh- Aniki!?"
After awkwardly surpassing the girls, I had gotten closer to where the rest was.
"Oh? You're approaching me?"
I can't honestly tell if Kawahara meant to make that JoJo reference, but I am proud that he did, regardless of his intention.
"Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?"
Did he just--
No, no way, right...?
"Hey, you caught up! You're fast, Daniel!"
"Oh, I like running, what can I say!"
I really don't. All this commotion is truly bothersome. I just want to escape from the demon who is looking at me with malicious eyes.
"Then, you are up for a challenge, right?"
"Unfortunately, Kawahara, Yuka-sensei had just left the office. Therefore, we will stop running pretty soon."
I had to let him know that there was no meaning behind a challenge at this time.
Still, I must say. I actually didn't expect Kuzan to be this physically competent. I guess I never saw the extent of his abilities.
Actually, I never saw anything from him. It was far too premature to judge him straight up.
He was up against King George back then. It didn't matter the opponent, anyone who is up against King George under normal circumstances is bound to get knocked the fuck out.
"Hey, hey. Don't be such a pussy now. Right now, we are exactly 100 meters away from the beginning."
True enough, we were exactly on the halfway of the running course. He was speaking the truth, no matter how I look at it.
"Therefore, the one who reaches the beginning the fastest is the strongest of all!!"
No, seriously.
I wasn't even going to try here. I didn't actually care about his challenge.
"Very well then... You're on!"
Kuzan had officially fallen into Kawahara's intention.
Although Sagasuga didn't say a word, he wasn't exactly denying it either.
"Oh!? You're actually serious, aren't you!?"
No, I wasn't serious about this.
Right now, after Kawahara said those words, we had officially stepped our game up.
But, um...
I'm seriously not running at the same pace as them for the sake of winning.
It's actually for the sake of not losing my life.
She had already surpassed the previous girls too.
What the actual fuck?!
"Alright, that's enough!"
As we were about to hit the endgame, I looked back to see if she had heard Yuka-sensei's words.
Sagasuga and Kawahara didn't really care and just kept on running, but after noticing that she had stopped, I also stopped.
Kuzan also did the same.
We had no reason to run anymore.
Shortly after, we went to Yuka-sensei's location, which was the center of the field.
"Aniki, you run fast too, huh?"
I was still officially ignoring Kuzan. Make no mistake, my previous talk didn't break this.
The condition was that, if I wanted to talk to Kuzan, I would. But, if he initiated the conversation, then he would get ignored.
Bring some food already, you pest.
"Wow, I didn't expect you all to be so physically competent! As expected of criminals! You really try hard about every single thing, huh!?"
Oi.
Why does her sarcasm who has a slight hint of seriousness in it hurt so much?
"Physically competent? All? Haha, what a load of shit! The only one who is physically competent here is me! After all, I finished first!"
Ah, Kawahara was bragging about winning a warn up race.
That's just sad, but no one bothered to counterargue. Not even Sagasuga who supposedly lost to him.
"Yosh then! Since you are so hyped up for this, why don't you start the first race then?"
This was predictable to some degree. Hence why no one bothered to speak in the first place.
I'm not saying that Kawahara wasn't aware of this but it wouldn't have made a difference because Kawahara is always trash-talking no matter the situation.
"That was the plan all along."
Smirking against Yuka-sensei's strong proposal, Kawahara went up to the beginning line that Yuka-sensei pointed at.
To contrast the cold weather, since my blood was fairly warm, the cold weather began to feel irrelevant. I suppose that's the good part about exercising.
Eventually, we all, except Kawahara himself, went to the sidelines where we took a sit essentially. Some stood up, by some, I meant, I, Sagasuga and Kuzan.
I wasn't feeling in the mood to sit down.
Yuka-sensei was the end line, which was at the end of the 50 meters. Naturally, Kawahara was in her exact opposite direction. Regardless of the field being oval, there was a straight line at the end of every angle.
Besides, it wasn't completely oval, it was just majorly oval.
Furthermore, Yuka-sensei was holding on to a timer, or I would assume it was a timer. In addition to that, she was holding a whistle on her luscious lips.
"Three, two, one...! Go!"
A loud whistle blow could be heard all over the place.
Noticeably after, Kawahara ran fast as hell and reached the end line without much commotion.
If I count correctly that was about 5 seconds if not less...
What the hell...
"Damn, Kawahara has it, Aniki! He's hot, damn!"
Well, he sure has it. I didn't expect Kawahara to produce a result like 6 seconds but 5 seconds is overdoing it, he just wants to flex at this poin-
Huh?
Wait.
What did you just say, Kuzan?
'He's hot, damn!'
Hey.
Why aren't you saying 'No homo.'
Hey.
Why aren't you showing signs of saying it!?
Kuzan!!!
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