..................

............

........

"Bzzz..."

.........

......

"Bzz...."

......

...

"Bzz."

What the hell is all this noise...?

"The hell..."

I can't put my phone on silence mode because I have my alarm clock, but it's fucking 3 am and these two virgins are...

"Ah... Great..."

It's not great. I was frustrated over the fact that my phone's constant vibration managed to wake me up.

My sleep was going perfect too. I think that I was snoring so loud that I sounded like a chainsaw.

『Hey, are you awake...?』

As soon as I checked my phone, I noticed a plethora of messages from Rayazaki, such as...

『It's me, Rayazaki!』

『 Hear this! That bastard Daniel broke my phone! So I had to ask for a borrowed phone in order to contact you! Hehehe, I didn't forget your number 😎 』

Oh no, not the shady sunglasses emoji...

I thought it couldn't get worse, but...

『What are you doing?』

『Hey, why aren't you answering? Is your phone broken?』

『Hahaha jk LOL!』

I'm definitely screenshotting this cringe.

How am I going to call this folder?

By the way, all these messages were recent. Therefore, Hyunda must have given him his extra phone a while ago...

But seriously... 3 am of all times? Fuck off Hyunda, how dare you make me bear the responsibility for this shit?

You're lucky that I'm actually looking forward to the endgame of this.

Regardless, so far, Rayazaki's messages have been incredibly one-sided.

Even knowing so...

『Btw, what's your favorite song? I wanna listen to it!』

What the hell is this guy even trying to achieve...

Just accept the fact that she's either asleep or completely ignoring you.

Honestly, Hinagiku is most likely asleep.

Well, whatever...

I'll leave the door open just so I can make sure to listen to the outside noises.

This way, I'll for sure listen to noise when everyone else is awake.

In other words, I'll be able to put my phone on silence mode.

After going to the definition bar, I was about to place my phone on my headboard, until...

"Seriously... How much of a virgin are you, Rayazaki!?"

Unbelievable. Even after getting so many empty messages in, you should realize that---

"Wait..."

『Rayazaki? Is that you? Ohh sowwyyy... I was in the middle of sleeping.』

Against all odds, Hinagiku replied Rayazaki.

And of course, Rayazaki, being the massive virgin that he is, immediately replied back.

『Heyyyyyy!!!! It's fine, it's fine! Don't worry about it! Anyways... How was your day?』

Rayazaki, you dumbfuck. It's common sense when texting a female to always leave her two minutes hanging if not more. If you reply to her that quick then you are no different from the rest of her 'friends'.

However, since Rayazaki is far too blinded by her charms he doesn't care. Well, it doesn't matter if he cares or not since he probably isn't aware of this.

Also, what the fuck? 'How was your day?'?

Dude, what the hell kinda question is that!?

『Fine... I'm a bit tired >3 How about chu?』

Why do I have the feeling that it's against the universal laws of romance to read a conversation this innocent...

No, no.

She's most likely going to manipulate him! I have to be there!

To screenshot the cringe, of course.

『I... really wanted to talk to you!』

Not what she asked you, you goddamn moron.

『OwO, what is it?』

Oh fuck me, not that...

『Erm, actually never mind... Don't mind me...』

Wow, you pussy, at least finish it.

『Okay. XD.』

Don't you just love it when the other side gives you 'XD' as their last reply?

What a tremendous demonstration of originality.

After that, Rayazaki stopped messaging Hinagiku.

He really pussied out like that, holy.

"I can't blame him when you get an 'XD' as a reply, you really can't do much."

I'm not speaking from experience but it's really not your fault that the other side sucks at texting this much.

Especially when they use '>3' '

Once again, as I was about to turn off my phone's screen...

『I'm going to sleep now...』

Don't answer it.

Don't you fucking dare. This is such a shitty bait, Rayazaki.

Don't fall for it!

『W-Wait!!"』

Damn it!

『We can talk tomorrow, Rayazaki... Aren't you sleepy too?』

Or maybe it wasn't a bait? Is Hinagiku really trying to end the conversation?

『NO! WAIT!』

Did you know if you capslock someone like that, you are most likely an abusive person?

Perhaps I should crush Rayazaki's balls the same way I did with Kuzan's.

On second thought, back when Rayazaki was arrested, Hinagiku was literally crushing them, so...

『Do you have any plans for the next month!?』

Could Rayazaki be taking the lead here?

Find out on the next episode of Rayazaki Sucks Balls.

No, but seriously.

Was he?

『Hahaha, what kind of question is that?』

Truly, he had to be more explicit with his own words.

『Let's hang out.』

Woah.

Talk about a switch up.

『E-Eh...?』

Unlike Rayazaki's previous replies that were storming up at the speed of light, this time, no such replies came forward.

『Are you... there?』

This time, it was Hinagiku who was blankly replying.

I don't think that Rayazaki's the type of person to ignore someone. Most surely when that person just happens to be his crush...

What exactly happened...

『I'm really tired... I'll answer you tomorrow in school, k?』

Why am I feeling like I have to cut my arm off or something?

『Well... Um...』

No, stop. I can't take this anymore.

I will repent, I promise!

『Sleep well...!』

I think my soul just got cleansed.

Ultimately, after reading that diabetic exchange of words going down, I went to sleep.

For the record, no more exchange of words, also known as, messages, went down.

I could, therefore, finally sleep.

9 am, block F classroom.

Well, the sleep wasn't that bad.

But, one thing was in the back of my mind all this time.

"Where the hell is he...?"

Perhaps I said that a bit too loud since my table partner looked at me for a second.

Ah, she's still salty about that. It can't be helped. Under normal circumstances, we will probably never talk again.

I have no patience for her type of character. If she's moody, then let her be moody.

"Sensei, what's your relationship with Yuka-sensei?"

"There is no relationship. Pay attention please."

Basara-sensei was being bombarded with questions like that from the girls ever since the classroom had started.

Why aren't you telling them to fuck off?

Hey.

Why are you giving them such nice treatment?

Hey.

What about that time you basically told us that you would kill us all and you weren't showing any sign of joking about that?

Hey.

Why are you telling them that's not the case but you aren't explaining why such is so.

"Hypocrite."

I didn't care whether or not she was bothered by it at this point, I was developing some Akihiko self-talking skills, honestly.

Speaking of which, Akihiko was not talking to himself, at all, for some damn reason.

"Well... That's it for today. Please behave in Yuka-sensei's presence..."

"Sensei!"

Just as Basara-sensei was about to take his leave, Hyunda raised his hand high.

"What? I swear, if it's something stupid, I'm just going to ignore it."

"No, it's not something stupid, or at least I like to believe it's not..."

"What is it then? Out with it!"

Christ, why is this so heated up?

It's just a question, guys. Chillax.

"W-Why didn't you tell me!?"

"...What? Be more specific plea-"

"I thought that you were supposed to serve as the example, sensei. Why didn't you tell me that she was an M?"

"M? Hey, Hyunda, what's an M?"

Ikkiri somehow didn't get what Hyunda meant by 'M'.

"Fucking dumbass, you expected me to actually tell you that! Use your cranium for once, you oval moron!"

I wasn't sure what he meant by 'oval moron' honestly.

"I can't win against that! Tell me, how did you do it!?"

Being slightly curious too, I looked at Basara-sensei instead of looking at a certain romantic conversation happening between two individuals.

To my surprise, Basara-sensei, who usually denies any request, at first sight, sighed deeply and then looked at Hyunda with serious eyes.

"Well... Since we still have 2 minutes before she comes, I'll tell you..."

"I see. I will pay an incredible amount of precise attention to those words."

"No, please don't."

"Heyyyyyy, don't ignore me! What's an M?!"

Unable to read the mood, Tsudo takes on Ikkiri's question.

"Huh? You seriously don't know it means being a mas-"

"Tsudo, shut your fucking mouth. What sort of crap are you about to say to a 15-year-old girl?"

Fortunately, Hyunda was there to prevent him from speaking the truth.

"Ehhh, just tell me!! Or I'll get seriously mad!"

It's amazing how Hyunda just refused to look at Ikkiri.

"Come here, Hyunda. I can't tell all of it to the rest..."

Honestly, not all people here were giving a fuck. Especially those two.

I'm starting to think that I'm actually wrong and that Sagasuga was right.

Although, that just gives me more the will to purge the living shit out of Rayazaki.

I was even thinking of going easy on him because of the possibility of him being manipulated but if such is the case then I have no reason to hold back.

If I was wrong, then I have to reflect on it for sure. Let's suppose that Hinagiku is serious about giving Rayazaki a chance. What then?

Did Hyunda miscalculate?

Given that Hyunda might know that, why would he bother with all this...?

Speaking of Hyunda...

"Y-You can't mean...!"

"Yes... But that's not all. Listen closely to what I'm about to say next..."

They were literally trading words while being extremely away from everyone else.

Ikkiri was fuming for some reason.

"O-Oh...! A-Are you serious right now!? But, what about rule 34?!"

"Rule 34!?"

Tsudo, being the pervert that he is, couldn't contain his excitement.

"Well... about that... You see..."

They kept on trading words in secret. Realizing that nothing could be heard, the majority of us were not even paying attention to it. In fact, it was a miracle that this was any relevant.

Also, can we just talk about how Basara-sensei supposedly didn't deny his knowledge about rule 34?

That's how you know a man has been spending quality time online.

"Shit, I must get going. She's coming. Don't tell this to anyone or I'll expel you from the program."

Oi!

You goddamn failure of a teacher, that's going too far!

"I got it. I will protect this piece of information with all I have!"

Don't say that, Hyunda!! Counter his absolutely unreasonable words!

Unless...

W-Was...

Was that information all that good!?

Even though the majority of us were barely paying any attention, we all got our attention directed onto one place alone.

The typical entrance via slamming the entrance door was being witnessed.

"Hello, my students!! How was your sleep!? Did you all sleep well?"

She's certainly charismatic, unlike our previous homeroom teacher.

"Yuka-sensei!! Hyunda's bullying me!!"

"I am not bullying you, for crying out loud. There's a huge difference between bullying and opting not to say a word. Besides, you're just a whiny baby who cries every time when you don't get what you want."

"That's bullying though! Silence is bullying! I don't like it!"

"Deal with it."

I cannot fathom what it feels like to have Ikkiri constantly argue with you day in day in without a single day out.

"Hey. Let go."

"Ara, but I thought we could talk a little bit~"

Yuka-sensei, noticing that Basara-sensei was about to leave, took a hold of his right arm using her cleavage as a weapon to seduce him.

"Woman, I swear on my life that I will break your ovaries if you don't let go of my arm right now."

W-What is this feeling?!

Why am I feeling so much respect for this evil teacher right now!?

"Y-You will!?"

However, Basara-sensei should know this the best, that sort of insult will only backfire.

Though it wasn't to my best interest, I could tell that my side partner was digging this scene quite a lot.

What? What's so appealing about it?

"Hey! Don't cause me to hit you, damn it! I swear I will!"

"I-I see!! Then, go ahead!"

She was seriously looking forward to this, she even closed her eyes.

No, I'm not talking about my side partner, but Yuka-sensei.

Although, she was quite attentive to this.

Well, nothing was really happening. What's the harm of trying to talk to her, right?

And besides, the virgin texting between Rayazaki and Hinagiku had stopped for now.

They were happily talking to each other.

I might have to kill myself if I don't purge his existence off this planet.

"Can you imagine what their sex must be like?"

.......

Okay, maybe not the best starter.

But, I'm sure she heard it.

Look, I'm seriously not trying anything funny with her, I'm just bored.

You can't blame a bored man for every single thing.

Well, let's go at it again.

"Personally, I think that they would be an S&M coupl-"

"Shut up."

.........

I really hate this world.

About 1 hour later.

"Everyone brought their P.E set of clothes, right!? No one else forgot, right!? RIGHT!?"

"I made sure that we, the bois, didn't forget!"

Kawahara truly did. After all, he literally woke the whole dorm at 7 am just so we didn't forget to bring our P.E clothes.

Oh right...

Yesterday, Yuka-sensei said that we would be attending P.E classes every day and thus, we were to ABSOLUTELY not forget to bring our set of P.E clothes today.

But, if you were to ask me, Kawahara was mainly just looking forward to the fact that we would finally be attending P.E classes.

A pack of P.E clothes was given at the start of the year, so naturally, everyone had them. However, we didn't have them on. We had yet to change into them.

"Then, it's settled! Everyone, let's go to the outside field!"

Without much to complain about, we moved out.

The freezing air was almost making me cry yet what truly worried me was the fact that we were going to most likely do a P.E class out on a field in the middle of the winter.

"A-Aniki, it's freezing!! I dun wanna do this!!"

I was officially ignoring Kuzan until he manned up and got his deal done.

To ensure that he fully understood that, I plugged my earplugs in my ears.

The song I chose from my playlist was random, yet it was "Water Breathing."

Damn it. I'm not saying Water Breathing is bad, in fact, it's damn good, but I kinda wish it was Rengoku's theme instead.

Honestly, I'm not too sure if I'll be able to hold my tears in the upcoming movie.

Oh well, the Dimensional Infinity Fortress Arc is the thing I'm looking forward to the most.

"Aniki!! Don't ignore me!! You've been giving me the silent treatment ever since morning!"

Allow me to add something more to that.

The fools that think that the anime was truly something will eat their own fucking words once Ufotable decides to further adapt the source, which is the Manga.

It makes no sense to not adapt any further.

I'm fairly sure that the profit was massive. I can also understand why they decided to do the Infinity Train arc into a movie.

The arc is certainly short, therefore a movie was a good call.

"I told you that I can't pay for the food! Please understand!!"

I would say the only problem would be the massive budget.

Then again, Unlimited Budget Works, am I right?

All in all, it would be a huge waste to not adapt the rest. Plus, considering that the fights in the Dimensional Infinity Fortress Arc are arguably the most epic thus far, from an economic stance, it's bound to rend quite a lot of profit. Ultimately, it benefits Ufotable greatly.

Unless they decide to just not do anything at all...

However, I seriously doubt that's the case.

My inner dialogue aside, Kuzan's shouts were so damn loud that even max volume didn't do shit against them.

I felt like slamming his face on the ground for a second, but we had arrived at our lockers in the meanwhile.

"...Sagasuga, you bastard, how dare you have a body like that..."

Tsudo, out of jealousy, threw some salt at Sagasuga.

Right after entering, we started to strip. Thus our bodies could be witness by one another.

"Huh? What are you on about? This is average."

"Average my ass! That's fucking eight packs oi!!!"

I wonder if Tsudo is aware that you can achieve 10 packs.

"No, Sagasuga, is right. That is average as hell."

"...What did you mean by that, Kawahara?"

"I meant what I meant. That's average as fuck. What kind of wuss training did you do?"

No, guys, please don't argue about your abs.

Don't make this gayer than it already is.

I beg of you.

"I don't know, you tell me. Only 6 packs, what a joke. Where did you get that, in your mother's basement?"

"My mother's already dead, bastard."

Wow, that went dark real quick.

As suggestive as this event may sound, not all of us were fit like hell.

People like Susaga and Tsudo had average bodies, for example.

It's fair to assume that most of us did criminal activities that involved a lot of physical activity.

I didn't want to flex so I changed from my student uniform to my P.E clothes at the speed of light.

Also, some of us were already with their P.E clothes.

And, ALSO, a certain someone, would not get the fuck out of his phone.

"Rayazaki. Fucking dress up. Right now."

"Eh, wait a second. Texting."

Yeah, I fucking know that.

That's exactly why I'm telling you this.

"Oh yeah! Listen up, you anti-social bastards, there's a crush in class, hahaha!!"

"No one really cares, Kawahara. Why are you speaking like a little bitch right now...?"

Kan had a point. Only a little bitch would be so into romantic stuff like this.

"What was that!? Aren't you getting a little too high of yourself, Ran?!"

"It's Kan, you retard... Also, what crush? I'm not interested in it particularly, but since you're bitching about it, might as well say it."

In other words, Kan didn't really want to know except he wanted to.

The rare male tsundere.

"Oh, that. I love Hinagiku."

........

Why is this man so beta yet so chad?

I can't understand this paradoxical fusion of contrasts!

"So you love jail bars too? Just asking."

"T-The hell is that supposed to mean, Akihiko?"

"It's the truth, no matter how you look at it. If you have a taste of that cursed fruit, you will go to jail for sure."

"No, but Akihiko, isn't Rayazaki being smart about this in a sense? He's already going to jail anyway, what's the point of denying it at this point? If this is his last stand then that's pretty commendable."

"I see what you mean, Tatsu. Well, if that's his aim, then go for it. I don't think anybody here will judge you for that."

And nobody really did, which just goes for show how twisted we really are.

We are essentially approving of Rayazaki's hell sentence.

Because no jail time will ever be enough for you to atone for what you are about to do to her.

"W-What the fuck are you people on about!! You goddamn psychos!"

Or, that's what I would like to think.

Actually no.

I don't really like to think that.

I will allow Rayazaki to think that he has a chance of blooming but when the time comes, I will bring his old usual self back.

Boy oh boy, that will be a fucking sight to see.

Nevertheless, as soon as we were done, we took off to the center of the field, where surprisingly, all the girls, along with Yuka-sensei were present.

"What the fuck... No skirt, no bloomers... Is this hell!?"

Although I refused to voice my opinion on Tsudo's complaint, he was right.

All the girls were dressed up in jerseys.

Talk about anti-climatic.

Accordingly, this is one way to get your boner deflected.

"Gyaaaa!!"

"W-Why is he..?!"

Ah, of course.

Our alpha male, Kawahara, just couldn't resist the urge to flex.

"Hey, Kawahara, put a shirt on!"

"Huh? What for!? Can't you see that I'm damn comfortable like this!?"

The one that had the courage to step up while the vast majority of the girls were looking away out of embarrassment was no other than Akimiyashika.

"It's completely irrelevant whether or not you are feeling comfortable! It's against the rules to not be wearing your P.E clothes!"

"Rules are for pussies! Therefore, all of you!"

Ouch, okay, chill out brother.

"Yuka-sensei, this is qualified as sexual harassment, right!?"

W-What? Is Akimiyashika seriously going to go that far!?

"Well... I can't say it doesn't... Kawahara, please put your shirt on..."

"What!? Hell no! I like to express myself! Physically as well! I have every right to express myself!"

"You also have every right to go against my own words and suffer the consequences."

Hearing that, Kawahara took a full 180-degree turn and went back to the locker's room.

"Are all of you like Kawahara, physically?"

"No."

Maybe we all had different reasons to deny Yuka-sensei's question, but I denied it because it's really troublesome to attract unnecessary attention.

Girls' attraction for abs is something that I can't even hope to comprehend.

Oh, my bad.

When I said 'we', I lied.

Apparently, one of us begged to differ.

"Well, hehe, actually---"

What perfect synergy we have, seriously.

We all looked at Sagasuga with murderous eyes as if to tell him to shut his fucking mouth.

But in all seriousness, it was so fucking cold. How the hell can Kawahara just be like that?

Is this some unknown form of masochism?

"Oh, he's back! That was quick!"

Kawahara was indeed back. Though, he looked fucking pissed off alright.

There are consequences to flexing, that's why you don't always flex.

You want to flex sometimes, but not all the time.

"Happy now, you blonde thot?"

"Y-Yes!"

"......."

Well, Kawahara was asleep during the whole introduction so he didn't know about that.

Still, blonde thot? C'mon dude.

You barely know her, why would you---

Okay. Time to get these beta thoughts out of my head.

"Kuzan, kick me."

"W-What? A-Aniki, what the hell!? We are in the middle of... you know..."

"Just do it. No one's looking."

We were hiding behind the lines here, no risks here.

"Why though..."

"God fucking damn it Kuzan, this is urgent just fucking do it----!!!"

Oh crap, that hurt way more than I thought.

Was he holding a grudge against me or something?

No matter, the beta thoughts are officially gone. That's what actually matters in the end.

"You're weird, Aniki..."

"Thanks."

I take 'weird' as a compliment, honestly.

If someone were to call me 'normal', I would flip my shit on that person.

How dare you call me someone who is equal to the rest?

I strive for the difference in my individuality, damn it.

"Yuka-sensei, what will we be doing today? You've just been standing there without saying anything..."

It was rare to see Yulia talk. However, she was right. Yuka-sensei was indeed taking far too long.

What for?

"Hm... Hm...."

She seems to be in deep thought...

Again, what for?

"Oi, fucking give us something to do already."

Hyunda, why are you saying that in an offensive tone when you know what's going to happen?

"D-Don't be rude to Yuka-sensei, Hyunda! She's thinking about something!"

Whether she was really thinking about something or not, we knew not, yet Hinagiku still defended her on that matter.

"Be more patient, Hyunda. Just relax."

And of course, white knight cuck number 1 Rayazaki is reporting for duty.

"Yosh!! I've decided! Y'all listen up!"

Y'all.

Y'all.

Sorry, I just can't process that without cringing inside.

Friendly reminder, I was born in America.

"I've thought about what the special exam and what I've came up with is---"

Yeah, sorry about that. Cliffhanger's a bitch, I know.