《Classroom of Doom》Volume 2 - Chapter 12: The trash talk paradox.
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"Huh? The hell is this 'Street Fighter' you speak of?"
You mean to tell me this boomer doesn't know what Street Fighter is?!
"W-Well, Street Fighter is a video game!"
"Video games!? This isn't what I signed up for!!"
"Wait! Wait! Please let me explain!"
It would be seriously bad if I screwed up this golden chance just because this boomer refuses to listen to me.
"So Street Fighter, as I have said, is a game! But it's not just any game! In it, the main character, Ryu, fights a lot of different opponents! Well, not a lot, but 10! And so, bloody fights for glory and honor are witnessed!"
"Oh, I see! That's really cool! So?"
"E-Erm! By winning fights, the winners get to obtain prizes!"
"Interesting! So?"
Why is this boomer telling me to fuck off in a sweet way!?
Whatever, I must get to the point.
"And by winning prizes, the winners get to rejoice! Thus, I was thinking. In order to decide whether or not we can't all just simply return to the surface by handing the piece of gold altogether, we should go at this from a fair way!"
"Hm? Yeah, that's exactly what I've said a while ago, retard!"
Oh no, I can't let his extremely intimidating voice get the best of me.
"But you know, since we are 10 people here I thought that we could form a tournament of strength and might to decide the winner!"
"Hm? But, aren't you counting the numbers wrongly? Let's see, with you, it's one. With Rayazaki, two. Sagasuga, three. Tsudo, four. Tatsu, five. Ryoken, six. Kan, seven. Kuzan, eight. And lastly, with Akihiko it makes nine. That's all the people we have here. Your idea really wasn't bad. The winner would get the piece of gold. But you can't make a tournament without an even number."
Correct.
In fact, extremely correct.
However, King George. What you failed to realize and what you underestimated was my ultimate desperation.
"Pardon my impudent rudeness, King George, but I believe you are the one who counted the numbers wrongly."
"Boi, I don't tolerate this type of talk. I'm never wrong."
You know shit is serious when King George is forced to use the word 'boi'.
Regardless, he had yet to understand something crucial.
"Then can I count our numbers instead?"
"Ho? You think that I don't know how to count, Daniel?!"
"No, not that, but I feel like you might have forgotten something."
"Very well then. Prove me wrong!"
I might die here if I fuck this up somehow, but that's pretty hard. Regardless of the scenario, the only thing that surrounded this humid atmosphere was no other than the lights around this supposed mine. Not only that but the stares of my fellow remaining classmates. Essentially, this was now or never.
This would determine the beginning of our way out.
"As you said, I am the first. Rayazaki is the second. Sagasuga is the third. Tsudo is the fourth. Tatsu is the fifth. Ryoken is the sixth. Kan is the seventh. Kuzan is the eightieth. And you said that lastly, Akihiko was the ninetieth. However, you forgot the most essential and crucial piece for this tournament to work. I need a piece that will make this number have an even number. Therefore---"
What I did, not only put many of my classmates in shock, but I was shocked that I mustered the courage to do something so suicidal. Just as I was about to finish my sentence, I lifted my right index finger and pointed at the last remaining person who would be the tenth person.
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"What, what? Why are you pointing at me? Don't you know that pointing at others is a sign that you lack manners?"
"I'm not lacking manners in the slightest. The tenth member is you!"
"Muhahaha!!! What are you talking about, boi!? What do I have to win by participating in this tournament of yours!?"
"If you win this tournament, which I have yet to explain how it works, then we will all be your slaves for the rest of our lifetimes!"
"A-Are you insane, Dani-KAH!"
I'm glad Ryoken understood the necessity to put this situation on a serious degree. I'm additionally thankful that he stroke Rayazaki with his shovel right on his balls.
"So, what do you think!? A more than a fine deal, huh!?"
To be honest, if King George denied me right now, I had absolutely no way to counterattack.
Though, from my understanding, King George is not a reasonable person. And what is the one thing that unreasonable people love?
An unreasonable proposal that extremely benefits them.
"You might have slightly caught my interest. Explain how the tournament works and I will give you my word then."
Well, at least he's not dumb. Otherwise, I could've arranged rules in my favor.
"I was thinking of making this exactly like in Street Fighter. In other words, we would hold a tournament in which we would have our respective matches and the winner would arise as the victor. So, simple to understand right?"
"And let's supposedly say that one of you plebs win, what is the prize?"
"For starters, I believe that if any of us wins, then we should all be allowed to leave to the surface together."
"I see! So, in your mind, you actually believe that despite running this mini-tournament, you will actually win against me!? That's utterly pathetic, son!"
King George just used the son card on me. I'm without a doubt being looked down on. However, he is right. What would be the point if it all came down to that? It's extremely stupid and suicidal to actually believe someone would have a chance against this guy. That's why...
"Since we are 10, we will first hold 5 fights. As a way to show I'm serious, I will allow King George to choose the fights for the first round. The fights will, of course, revolve around physical fighting. I think we all expected that to some extend."
Obvious as it may sound, the whole premise was already known the moment I said Street Fighter. Plus, this was also with the secondary intention of pleasing King George's violent tastes.
"Of course, the fights will be 1vs1. The winner moves on and the loser gets left out. Which means that only 5 of us will be able to move forward. However, since the number is uneven, the one who finished his previous fight faster will automatically move on. Thus, we then are left with an uneven number once again. However, if King George manages to reach that far, then he will automatically be placed in the finals. Ultimately, a semi-final will occur in order to determine who will face the finalist. But, let's suppose that King George doesn't make it. The same treatment will be applied. The conclusion here is, the one who finishes the fight faster in the first round will automatically move to the final."
I wasn't going to bother to make this fair. Because we would all agree if this whole tournament was unfair. Furthermore, under the assumption that you actually finish your fight as the fastest in the first round, it represents a tremendous advantage.
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Additionally, I made sure that King George would get the best out of this. In other words, he doesn't even have to finish his fight fast in order to move on to the finals.
Also, it's not a blunder to assume that King George will most likely knock the fucking lights out of whoever is paired up with him. Also, King George received my own word when it came down to deciding the matches. What this means is, if I was suddenly paired up against him and got sent to the shadow realm, then this might backfire immediately.
"Interesting, boy."
Well, this time he didn't use the word 'boi'. Is this a sign of minimal respect?
"But I will not choose the first round fighters. I want my opponent to be a surprise!"
An alternative meaning to what he just said would be that King George approves of the tournament. Well, why wouldn't he? We are basically slaves for the rest of his life if he wins. However, I had yet to establish the most important factor in this tournament.
"King George, sorry to say this but, in other to make this tournament minimally playable, I will have to nerf you, is that fine?"
"What is this 'nerf' you speak of?"
I was not going to explain this Millenial concept to a boomer like King George.
"What I'm saying is, you shouldn't be allowed to be at full strength. Because honestly, we have no way to beat you, whoever which one of us ends up with you will get killed. So, I thought that it would be fair to establish a rule. If you get hit once, you will lose."
The whole point here was to still appeal to the factor that King George, despite being under this rule, will still have us as slaves for the rest of our lives if he wins.
Nonetheless, I was, without a doubt, acting way too freely. It's a miracle that I haven't been countered yet.
"Now, why should I allow that?"
Good question really. But, Ryoken already knew what to do in this situation.
"Pardon my intrusion, but that's a silly question to make."
"What!? You got some nerve, boi!"
"Nerve or not, we are already offering our lives to you, given that we lose here. As a matter of fact, you are the one who has the nerve here. Can't you see? We are already doomed if we don't succeed. You don't understand our fear. Our feelings are incomprehensible to a monster like you. We are clinging onto this last hope of ours because we want to succeed. Would you be such a coward to the point of framing our valiant attempt to succeed this?"
I don't like how Ryoken acts. Let me clarify something, I usually don't form a tendency of liking or disliking unless I'm somehow involved. In this scenario, I'm still being haunted by how my supposed speech influenced his mindset.
My point is, since Ryoken wanted to try and aim to be a better person, he should have formed a tendency to aim for morally right fundamentals. In contrast to that, so far, Ryoken, after that speech, has resorted to not only threatening but also, as of now, he is resorting to manipulation.
He knows that King George isn't someone who would back down from what Ryoken just said. King George is the type of purpose whose only purpose in life if given a choice, would probably be... proving everyone that they are wrong.
Please don't misunderstand. This is great. This is fantastic. We want this. But, considering Ryoken alone, he is going way too far to change himself and it's not working. As a matter of fact, it's backfiring. And since I happen to have a somewhat guilty consciousness sometimes, this is one of those times.
I can't believe my speech somehow managed to fuck someone up this bad. Why?
"Are you serious just now? Do you actually think that I, King George, have the necessity to run away!? Muhahahaha!!! You fools!!! I never run away!"
Honestly, I doubt anyone here present didn't expect this to work.
"So, how do we decide who fights who? King George doesn't want to choose. What now?"
"I have some dices! We could use that!"
"Why the fuck do you have dices, Kuzan!?"
"Whatever, Rayazaki! Just listen! In theory, if we choose numbers for ourselves then two dices should do."
"What the hell, explain."
"We need to first get the first six people elected. In other words, we should choose a number for ourselves, from one to ten. Then, let's say, person number one rolls a dice. Depending on the result the dice produces, the first person, in other words, the one who is number 1, will be paired up against the number that person just rolled."
"So, why do we need to get the first six out of the way first? Why can't we just elected all from the get-go?"
That was a really dumb question by Rayazaki but I suppose Kuzan just somehow had to make this ultra complex.
"Because then, numbers 7, 8, 9, and, 10, will be able to be elected. This is to say that those numbers will roll a dice but will ignore the 5 and 6. In addition to that, they will just roll a singular dice because it can conflict with the results if we roll two dices. Also, 7, 8, 9, and, 10, will be labeled as 1, 2, 3, 4. And so, the numbers that are paired up will fight. Are we clear?"
I can't tell if Kuzan is either retarded or just occasionally a genius. No, he has never proven to be a genius. Also, this isn't a genius idea. This is quite complex, but oh well.
"Okay but how do we determine what numbers we are?"
"Well, we roll the dices. We will, however, ignore 11 and 12, since we are 10. Okay?"
In response to Kuzan's complex logic, we just nodded.
It's quite likely that we just don't want to think about it. This is just a method of selection. We had bigger worries ahead of us.
"I'll go first, then. Hey, Rayazaki, blow it."
Kuzan just made the gayest request to Rayazaki, who immediately retorted back.
"Fuck off, piece of shit. Roll it."
Also, by 'blow it', Kuzan meant to say that Rayazaki should have blown some wind with a single whisper to the two dices that Kuzan was holding in his hand.
"A grand total of 3 and 4, therefore, I am 7."
"Aight, I'm next!"
Rayazaki landed his two dices which landed on...
"1 and 1!? The fuck is that!? I'm great as fuck! How come I didn't receive two sixes!?"
"Shut the fuck up, Rayazaki. You're number 2. Pass them to me."
Next up was Kan.
"5 and 5? I'm 10 I guess."
Although we were rolling the dices that Kuzan for whatever the fuck reason mysteriously had onto the cold ground, we were also noting down the names and the numbers each one of us would get. Actually, it was only I and Ryoken who bothered to do such. We were using our index fingers on the ground, by the way. You cannot get sadder than this.
"1+5, that means I'm 6."
Well, this was quick in the long run. In the end, we all got our numbers decided. We were also retarded to the point of not realizing that if we rolled two dices continuously that we could never know who the person with the number of 1 would be. Ultimately, it fell onto me.
The list is the following:
1 - I.
2 - Rayazaki.
3 - Tatsu.
4 - Akihiko.
5 - Tsudo.
6 - Sagasuga.
7 - Kuzan.
8 - King George.
9 - Ryoken.
10 - Kan.
Okay... This line feels way too coincidental. Then again, that's what happens when you play a game that's essentially revolved around luck.
"Alright! We can finally get this started! So, what are the rules!?"
Tsudo was for some reason oddly happy about this. Was it because he was going to fight Sagasuga? I see. I totally see why he is excited. He probably hasn't forgiven Sagasuga for potentially banging Tateyana.
Honestly, my suspicion was still young. After all, what the hell would you have to do to a girl to leave her that red?
Go get him, Tsudo. May the forces of the gods be with you.
Ah well, but first, everyone was staring at me, since I was the one who came with this whole idea.
But, I seriously thought that the rules were obvious.
"There is only one rule - There are no rules. Use whatever means you want to win. The fight ends the moment the other person loses consciousness. Any objections?!"
Once again, I'm not the type of person to go with cliched stuff. I wasn't going to make this tournament something exciting. I wanted this shit to be over as fast as possible. No way am I in the mood to enjoy some pathetic dispute of spirit. Actually, no one is.
"Nope."
"Perfect."
"Exactly what I was hoping to hear."
Multiple agreements came forward. However, there was still something I had to establish as well.
"The place where each fighter will fight is inside our sleeping cell. I say this because otherwise, we would have unlimited places to hide. Again, any objections?"
"Christ, I don't fucking care man, just begin."
"For real though, stop being such a damn pussy about this shit!"
Alright, you ignorant fucks.
"Daniel, Rayazaki, step the fuck in! You two are up first! Show us something good!"
"Go, Aniki! Good luck!"
I'm not sure how Kuzan has managed to keep a positive stance when he is facing off against King George.
Is this the premature acceptance of death? It must be.
King George additionally led the rest of the fighters, except me and Rayazaki, to a place where they would be able to watch the fight nicely. Essentially, they were up on a higher plane. Like an upper floor and thus, they were sitting on the edge of the plane.
Though, I was also aware of how troublesome this line up was. I really cannot afford to lose here. I need to be the one who is up against King George. I'm not confident that I can win, but I believe that if I am up against him, then, I can hope to land one blow.
To ensure that happens, failure isn't an option.
Besides, I wasn't really feeling threatened by Rayazaki. I noticed how his shoulder was broken. Plus, his fight with Hinagiku worsen his physical state. Oh, what I'm about to say applies to us all, but, we aren't in any way possible at our physical peak.
King George's daily physical torture with his whip on our backs fucked us up pretty badly.
As I carried my shovel, I and Rayazaki walked towards the cell. We didn't say anything to each other. Even if Rayazaki is furious about how I've beat him up previously, if he's smart about this, he will fight this fight with caution.
Plus, anything goes here. We can literally use shovels. It would be an understatement to say that this will be bloody. Because it will obviously go beyond that.
"I won't lose this time. I might kill you at it too. Blame yourself for this. It's your fault for pissing me off this hard."
To be honest, I couldn't care less. Rayazaki was looking forward to this way more than I was. In fact, he probably forgot about the tremendous advantage that the fastest fight has in this tournament.
However, I wasn't really going for it. Assuming that King George does manage to score a victory, which let's be honest, there's no way he doesn't, then he is guaranteed to be in the final. There was just one slight problem.
Rayazaki was hungry and thirsty for blood. Otherwise, it would be strange to engage in an assault with your adversary the moment your adversary got inside the cell. As for who's blood he's thirsty for, it's without a doubt mine.
Oh, and, he really initiated an immediate assault with his shovel, thus I'm on the ground, right now.
"Bastard!!!! My shoulder's been in so much fucking pain that I've thought of killing myself all this time!!!"
Aside from his emotional crisis, he kept on plumming and plumming me with a decent amount of strikes on my abdominal area.
"Kuh..."
"What's the matter huh!? Not gonna fight back!?"
This was a common scenario. Basically, Rayazaki was on top of me right now. After his barrage of effective strikes, I had fallen right into the ground. This all started because as soon as we got inside the cell, I was dumb.
Quickly striking my head with his shovel, Rayazaki managed to gain the upper hand. Thereafter, he continued to inflict considerable damage upon my abdomen. Of course, this was only possible because he took advantage of the fact that my equilibrium lost its composure due to the shovel attack.
Subsequently, the scene that followed was me falling into the ground. Rayazaki had also kicked the shovel out of my right hand.
Well, what I mean to say is, as I'm being punched on my face back and forth, I'm somewhat fucked.
"That's...!! What...! You...! Get...! After...! Messing....! With...! ME!!!"
For the record, his punches got heavier every time he uttered a new word. And so, the last one hurt like hell.
Noticeably, Rayazaki abandoned his shovel. Instead of using it, he gave his fists priority.
First things first, since I need to win, I naturally need to get out of this situation.
But, that's not possible in this situation. The main reason as to why I can't leave my current position is because Rayazaki is applying enough body weight in the zone where he is sitting on. Knowing that he is positioned in my pelvis zone, I can't muster the strength to use my legs. No, I can use the lower parts, but I can't utilize the pelvic area which is the most important one in this scenario.
Furthermore, I was already occupied with blocking, well, trying to block his punches with my arms.
Now, what the hell can I do in this situation?
"Fucking fight back!!"
Well, shit, I would if I could, but as the situation stands, either I take some massive damage and achieve something from it or I just keep blocking until something new happens.
I really like gambling though. So I'm willing to follow through my gut.
"Kahh!!!"
I loosened my arms and took off my guard. I took his left punch, which, from my reaction was already plenty.
It wouldn't be surprising if I had a broken tooth at this rate. However, the main goal was to catch his right arm and for that, he needs to throw a punch with his right arm, which then will allow me to grab his right shoulder and further dislocate it.
But...
"The fuck's wrong little bitch? Got cocky just because you got lucky once? Don't be so naive, you piece of shit!"
I'll admit that I wasn't expecting him to be minimally smart about this. Realistically, I didn't expect Rayazaki to have learned anything from our fight, but I was wrong.
He was not using his right side at all. He wasn't taking the bait. He simply kept on striking my left side of the face with his left fist. In other words, he wasn't using his right fist nor any movement that would involve his right shoulder.
Smart.
This way, he will not be vulnerable to my strategy. Plus, his words imply that he is aware that I want to fuck his right shoulder up even more. I underestimated him.
However, I can still compensate for that.
"Oi, Daniel! You're getting your ass kicked! You're gonna die at this rate, hahaha!!"
I could hear Kan's voice from far away. He's not joking. I had to make my move. It can still work, regardless of how it is done. I just wanted the additional advantage of fucking up his shoulder which is already broken, but I don't mind if I have to do it again.
As Rayazaki kept on striking with his left fist, I attempted to intercept it with my right fist, as an alternative attempt to clash with him.
However...
"Guhhh...!!"
"You really thought that was going to work?"
How!? How was he able to predict my movements!? If I had intercepted his left fist then I could have used my strength and pull him closer to me, which then would allow me to gain some sort of advantage but he immediately intercepted my right fist my grabbing me with a hold by utilizing his right hand.
Ultimately, I had yet taken another punch to the face.
I could actually taste my blood at this point. I might seriously die at this rate.
That's it... I'll probably break a tooth or two, no, it's gonna be way more but this is bound to be successful.
"I fucking had enough of this shit..."
"Oh!? Finally talking huh!? Well, too fucking bad the situation isn't going to change! Whatever you do, I'll counter it! It's impossible for you to have a way out!!"
Not only is this situation unfavorable in all senses, but Rayazaki was showing to be tactically superior in a sense. He made the first strike, which was already a superior tactic.
"....!!! W-What the fuck!?"
I would be surprised too if my opponent did what I just did.
"You're out of your fucking mind! Gah...!"
Blood was flushing out of his right fist. It's somewhat normal, considering the situation. Plus, Rayazaki was way too shocked about the current situation to persist with his barrage of strikes, which gave me time to get up, since he backed off a little.
Damn it, I can hardly get up though. He applied so much weight in my pelvic area that my pelvis feels crushed. Not only that but, my face feels like it's about to fall off. Oh, thanks to what I just did, I just lost two tooths.
"Woaaaahhhh!! Are you sure you aren't an animal under disguise, Aniki!?"
Kuzan's comment wasn't off the mark. After all, what I did was quite animalistic. Just as Rayazaki was about to unleash a mighty right strike at me, I took a bite out of his fist. Yes, I have just devoured some of his flesh. Although, I spat it aside. In order to gain some momentary advantage, I need to incapacitate him in one way or another.
Also, I won't commit the same mistake twice. What happened so far was my fault. If I was cautious for the first time then I would've anticipated his attack yet I was arrogant and let my guard down. And, this is the cost. By the way, I took a huge bite out of his fist. I could literally feel the bones from his fingers cracking. In other words, his right fist should be almost useless.
"What's the matter? Come at me already! Or are you gonna pussy out like a little bitch!? Weren't you looking forward to this rematch!?"
Honestly, the rematch is beyond my caring. All that matters now is asserting the victory. Confidentially speaking, since Rayazaki is an emotional person who has absolutely no control over his own emotions, he will rush. That's right. He will fall for such petty tricks. All this, because, his pattern of action is far too obvious.
However...
"Oi, Rayazaki! What happened to you, man!? Why did you go silent!? Did your balls got frozen or some shit!?"
"Nah man! He realized how utterly meaningless it is to fight against Aniki!"
Tsudo and Kuzan's comments were ticking me off honestly. They do not match with what's happening right now.
In fact, what is happening right now?
Under my prediction, I claimed that Rayazaki was someone who had absolutely no emotional control. Along those lines, I also claimed that he would rush at me yet...
"..."
He's not moving at all. We haven't been moving at all. So far, this battle has been a singular one-sided onslaught by Rayazaki, but right now, he is looking at me as if nothing exists except me.
What actually happened though? Why the sudden change in his behavior?
"Hahaha. Oi. Don't be like this. It's anticlimactic if you just go dead silent like that in the middle of the climax after all that shit you spoke to me. You afraid or something?"
I didn't realize the contradiction of my own actions and how our actions contradicted our initial actions. Rayazaki started the taunts and the trash talk, yet now I am the one who is doing that.
Mysteriously enough, Rayazaki seemed to be on the edge of calamity.
He refused to move no matter what. Perhaps it was those eyes that told my instincts this...
That I've been trapped inside a cage with a lion.
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