《Classroom of Doom》Volume 2 - Chapter 11: Deflected boners apparently matter.
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I don't mean to act like the hero, but in order to actually get everyone out of here, I really need to act like one. It's not a heroic act purposedly, but essentially, I'll have to perform a heroic act out of necessity.
That truly pisses me off. I always hated those moral speeches that preach heroism and idealism to an absurd extent. Even more so, if I was ever in such a situation, I vowed to not act like a hero, but this is conflicting.
This is by no means a simple rejection or just an act out of hatred for moralities. I simply despise how supposedly cliched everything is and that it's way too boring to follow the normal line of things.
Furthermore, right now, thanks to that bastard Hyunda, this whole situation just got a whole lot worse. Not for me, of course. I simply just have to wait until King George resets the location of the gold and then I can dip the fuck out. However, that's not the problem. The problem is that the dumbfucks that are surrounding me right now have absolutely no idea about the simple gimmick.
Besides, I can't even tell them about how simple the gimmick is. Under my assumptions, let's say that I told Rayazaki about this gimmick. His reaction would probably be an impulsive one. He's not the type of guy who can remain silent about this. Not to mention that we are acting a little bit desperate as of lately.
I think that Akihiko just took a bite on his forearm as if to eat it.
...
.
How tasty is it anyway?
NO!
I have not fallen that low!
Well, to summarise the situation, I might need to act like a beta to get everyone out of here. I had an idea. Since the only ones left here are... Tatsu, Sagasuga, Rayazaki, Akihiko, Ryoken, Kuzan, Kan, and Tsudo. That's nine people. Myself included. The conclusion here being, my idea would be to secretly put the gold under a visible spot so everyone here could take it once at a time.
Essentially, this would take around 9 days to achieve.
But, I had a good idea. Ryoken's words came to life earlier. He said that we haven't tried to show the piece of gold altogether. Nothing says that it won't work. The problem is that the tyrant, also known as King George will most likely flat out reject the possibility.
Gladly rejecting our opinions is something that King George has done a lot.
So, what can I assume from this?
Can I do this alone? Of course, I can. But, there is a consequence to this. I will have to act like a beta and save everyone here. The only reason why their presences matter in the first place is due to the reason that we are massively screwed if we don't participate in the special monthly exams.
Hyunda had a point. If one suffers, we all suffer.
It's also not hard to imagine why it was made that way. Perhaps the government wants us to act as a unit in an attempt to morally reform us. What a predictable strategy... and a lame one at it.
Therefore, in order to not be a beta, I had to try the ultimate chad strategy.
And for that, I needed the help of Ryoken.
To be honest, I was kinda excited about my ultimate chad strategy.
Alas, I had to wait until night.
Because, you know, my back is currently being whipped by King George's whip.
Later on during that night.
It's impressive how we aren't really talking with each other at all.
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After all that development I thought that Kuzan, Akihiko, Tsudo, Rayazaki, and Sagasuga, would talk to each other but nope. Nobody here deliberately talks out of compassion. It's as if they are in a constant state of reflection about the crimes they did or something.
Oh yeah...
Why was I accused of that crime again? I have no clue about it. All I know is that I have 1000 years to fulfill.
When did I do it? I can't really recall. Do I have amnesia or something like that? I'm not trying to portray the cliched amnesiac character development onto myself but that really seems to be the case.
I guess I'm similar to Akihiko in that sense...
Speaking of Akihiko, I've been meaning to ask him about that.
We really aren't eating anything, by the way, we are just blankly staring at nothingness. Endlessness is here to stay, endlessness won't wash away. Ah damn it, why did I have to remind myself of how much I love Final Fantasy XV. If only the plot was more decent.
...Meaningless worries aside, I decided that it was time to reach out to him.
"What?"
Immediately reacting to my approach, Ryoken makes that question with an aggressive expression. I wasn't really going to small talk. I know how everyone here acts. Either make your point or shut the fuck up.
"Let's try your strategy tomorrow."
I only said that and went off to sleep.
In the next morning, even though we were being lashed physically by King George over and over, Ryoken would glance at me occasionally. Speaking of glances, it reminded me how my table partner was totally glancing at me constantly during that day.
Well, I officially had enough. No more of this shit. This has prolonged itself for way too long. Not to mention that we are experiencing slavery right now. I would complain but then again, with a 1000-year-old jail sentence, that's not really that good.
"Come with me."
"What? What do you want?"
God, why is this guy so hostile?
"Do you want to get out of here or not?"
Fortunately, he understood that I was up to something good and shut his mouth. Not too long after that, by escaping King George's malicious vigilance, Ryoken and I went to the same place as yesterday.
Without speaking a word, I used the shovel in my right hand and stroke a massive strike onto the ground. I kept on digging and digging just so Ryoken could get the bigger picture.
"Are you not gonna take it?"
"Why is it here...?"
"Well, it's really simple actually. But, now that you know its location, have you arrived at some sort of conclusion on your own? You seem to be good at forming independent conclusions when provided enough logical evidence to do so."
"Let's see... this might be connected to Hyunda. No... It's definitely connected to Hyunda. In the first place, he might not have been lying about the gold location. But that's weird... because it wasn't here yesterday. I really have no idea how it got here in the first place."
I really didn't feel like there was a point in explaining this whole thing just for him to understand. What he needed to understand, however, was another thing.
"Ryoken. With this, we can all get out of here. Remember what you said about how we could all just show this to King George if we all get it together?"
"Oh, I see where you are going with this. I see. But, you know, they are an illogical bunch. We could get a few of them to side with us but the majority would just be greedy as hell."
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"You wouldn't be?"
"No real point in being greedy, is there? Isn't it so fucking stupid? This whole scenario, man. It's so repulsive. Everyone thinks that just because we are criminals that we cannot interact or something. That we will just pull out a fucking knife and kill each other... I'm so sick of it..."
Well, this turned an interesting turn. It reminded me of when I was having a somewhat deep talk with Kuzan back on the girls' dorm rooftop. It might be important to make an emotional connection right now in order to get him to cooperate though.
Therefore...
"You don't really seem like the rest, Ryoken. From what I've seen you seem to be emotionally conflicted about something. What is it?"
"I'm not really emotionally conflicted though. I'm just pissed off. I know that I didn't come here to make friends or to enjoy school life, but... I'm living my life you know!? I don't want to fucking waste 3 years of my life without any sort of joy just because I happened to have fucked up! I don't care if happiness has a cost or not, it pisses me off how subjective it is, especially in this scenario..."
So Ryoken's problem wasn't about whether or not he liked the people around him. Normally, when choosing who to befriend, if you create distance, then it's most likely due to some sort of dislike. But, it's different in this scenario. Ryoken is simply pissed about the whole scenario because it's creating a disruption in his happiness' progress.
I suppose it's fairly understandable. There is no one who doesn't want to be happy. Maybe there are people who think that they don't deserve happiness but, without a doubt, happiness is a natural feeling to a desire.
However, that's exactly the problem here. Everything is going against Ryoken's way. If he can't have happiness then he detests everything apparently. He said that he is not emotionally conflicted but he is. The fact that he isn't aware that he desires emotional understanding is evidence alone.
"Why not change that though?"
"No way that's possible. Look, it's fine. I'm used to it. I have a plethora of troubles that have little to zero solutions. Regardless of the situation, it's normal to feel frustrated sometimes. But I just can't bear the thought of spending three years like this."
"That's what I meant by my previous question. The situation isn't going to change unless it is changed."
"Huh...? I don't get what you are on about..."
"Well, just watch and learn. Something fun is about to happen. But first, I need you to gather everyone as a group-"
Just as I was about to continue with my proposition, Ryoken interrupted.
"I can't. They piss me off. I can't stand emotionless people like those. Sorry."
Of course, that much I was aware. His earlier disagreement with Kan proved that. Though, this guy is way too emotional about everything. It's as if his whole being is the embodiment of emotions as a whole.
"Besides, why do we have to bother with them? You have a good attitude about this Daniel. I couldn't care less about what you did to deserve 1000 years of jail time, but from my understanding, you want to solve this situation, right? Then, let's escape together."
Woah there, bromance is not my thing. Nope, nah aha. Fuck that shit.
"I can't. I really just want to leave you all here without a second thought, but I really fucking can't. Can't you see? Even though we don't want to cooperate we are essentially being forced to. Under this system that the government has put us under, there is no other way!"
"I won't do it then. You can escape yourself. I'm not helping you. I don't feel like it anymore."
Is this guy fucking serious right now...
"Bro, what do you mean you don't feel like it anymore? Do you enjoy the shit we have to go through? I think I have my back muscles so fucking sour that I hardly feel anything anymore."
"Of course I don't enjoy this shit, but I refuse to cooperate with them. They are not good people."
Wait, is Ryoken's argument seriously based on morals?
"Did you forgot that no one here is a good person? We are all fucked up. What we did, we can't redo. Why not just accept the fact that you will be marked for the rest of your life and move forward?"
"Because I don't want to live a life where I don't get to atone for my own actions! Yes, I want to be a good person! Surprised, huh!? You really thought that among us, who are most surely criminals that there wouldn't be an individual that wants to change his mindset regardless of how fucked up the rest of his life is!? Fuck that! I want to live my own way too!"
"Then live the life you want to live! Why do your ideals of life have to come into play!? Just because they don't share your mindset that doesn't mean you can't interact with them in a positive manner..."
"No, that's wrong. That's precisely it. I want to change, but no one else wants to. I get that I am in no position to talk about it but I will talk it regardless."
That's hypocrisy but I suppose he doesn't care at this point.
"I need to pass this program. I really need to have some sunshine in my life. Why can't you understand that?"
"I can understand that. What I can't understand is why you have to be so emotional about this. All I'm asking is for cooperation. Being dramatic for no reason won't help the situation."
"Except I'm not dramatic unless I have a reason, in which case, I do. I said that I wanted to change as a person and aim to be better yet I can't do that in this environment. It's as if everyone in this class just adores their own malice."
"The environment is irrelevant, Ryoken. What's relevant is the will to pursue the ideal. You are afraid of committing your desired endeavors because your way of thinking is wrong. When are you going to realize that people around you will either oppress you or cherish you? It's not a choice, damn it! It's a mandatory duality!"
"Then, what the hell am I supposed to do? You've been talking as if you have some major clue or something. Come on. Go on. I'm really curious. Tell me about it."
Christ, I really didn't expect this guy to be this emo. And you thought Kuzan was something, get a load of this guy over here...
Regardless, the first priority when dealing with an emotional person is to make them understand how they want to feel. Not how they feel, but how they want to feel.
"In order for you to achieve change, something needs to change in you first, Ryoken!"
"And that is!?"
"Your flawed perspective about how everyone's at fault is childish, for starters. If others do worse, then why can't you do better? There's nothing stopping you. Except there is. Only one person is stopping you and you don't even realize that that person is yourself."
"How exactly am I stopping myself though? Haha. It's amazing. You don't even realize how hypocritical you are being right now, do you?"
Except I do realize, but my moral compass is broken beyond measure, honestly. It's just that when convincing people like you, fancy words won't do.
"Can't you see? Take a look around you. No one rejected you. I never rejected you, for example. Yet earlier, when I approached you acted all hostile. Realize this already, Ryoken... You reject people instead of accepting them."
To be honest, I'm not sure whether or not that's true, I just want him to reveal more of his emotional problems. Then, I could move forward and get him on my side so to speak.
"I don't reject people. I just apply myself distant. There's a vast difference."
"That's exactly my point... You want to change your standards but you keep blaming the environment around you for how you can't seem to reach a consensus with everyone. All of this just because everyone else is supposedly not treating you with respect or something like that."
"That's not my point. I never wanted respect in the first place. Why can't this scenario change? It's so infuriating..."
"The scenario obviously can't change. The only ones who change the scenario are the actors of it, not the spectators. Right now, you are a spectator. A spectator is exactly the type of person who enrolls in society and constantly hopes that the situation that revolves around the spectator can suddenly change."
"My god, you're annoying. What's your point even?"
"My point is, you won't be able to change your situation as long as you are the spectator."
"That is to say...?"
"Fuck my life, are you seriously this clueless? Can't you see where I am getting at?! Ascend, motherfucker! Become the actor in your own environment! Let me tell you something additional to that. Almost everyone in this class has the perspective of a spectator. I said almost, right? Do you know the exceptions? Take Akimiyashika for example. She ruled her own tempo by assuming command and won. Hyunda, the guy who FUCKING lied to us all, even though he was a son of a bitch about it, still managed to defeat us all with his trolling strategy. Man, what more do I need to say? What are you not understanding here!?"
"What I don't understand is how I can become this 'actor' you are speaking of?!"
"Hell if I know! You think I have all the answers in the world or something!? Don't be a damn idiot! What you become is something you decide!"
This is it. If after all this emo talk, Ryoken can't process these simple little factors that there are about life, then I will have to use the beta strategy. It was already pretty beta to be in this emo talk though. But it couldn't be helped.
You counter emotion with emotion.
"...Well, that makes sense, I guess... What I become is something I decide. Hey, I became a subject to this program due to the choice I made, right?"
Is this guy incapable of understanding the basic natural consequences of his own actions or something?
"Yeah. We all did."
"I got it. I will ascend."
Wow, it worked.
Maybe Ryoken is truly capable of setting aside his turbulent emotions and rationally think about such simplicity, huh?
"So, let's review this. We need to gather everyone in order for this to work, yes?"
He's finally coming into an agreement. Maybe all that emo talk was worth it.
Regardless, this is what it comes down. Plus, there's no actual guarantee this works. This has a chance to work, but that doesn't mean it will necessarily work.
"Yep. That's the first step. But for that to work, we need them to understand the meaning of our own actions."
"Got it. I will make sure that they are not allowed to fight back in any way possible. As a matter of fact, I will apply physical force if necessary. I got this, man."
"No, please don't use violent methods."
Ryoken's questionable set of methods aside, after ending this conversation, I grabbed the gold and returned, along with Ryoken to the main location that we were digging.
"Faster, bitches!! You're all so fucking slow that I've yawned a hundred times under a motherfucking minute!!"
As per usual, those verbal lashes belonged to one person only. We had to wait until lunchtime in order to get this to work. Because if I just tell everyone the plan then King George will realize that it was an obvious lie.
Plus, what's the point? A discussion had to be made first.
Lunchtime.
Ryoken was oddly looking forward to this. Unlike his usual unspirited attitude, he had firm eyes. It's as if he was accepting the likelihood of everything instead of rejecting the possibility of rejection.
As a clarifier, I will say this.
Never for once did I mean the words I have said. Regardless of how they are viewed, the outsiders will never understand the primal mindset of the human being who spoke those words to them. I am the same. Even though I did give Ryoken an inspirational speech, all I did was to make him understand his own emotions better.
It might be somewhat heartless of me, but I really couldn't care for his situation. However, I do care for mine, and since my own situation seems to require the assistance of others, I have not much of a choice.
"Who wants to get out of here?"
Although Ryoken said those words against them, they did not respond in any manner possible.
It's fairly normal because, at this point, hope was nowhere near sight.
"Really? No one. Kay. Then, I'll just get out of here myself, I guess. After all, this should allow me to."
"Ryoken, tone the jokes down, bro. No one here cares. Shut up al-"
The deadness in his eyes really spoke out loud. It was clear that Kan had lost a huge fragment of hope in these last few days, however, in the sight of that, he couldn't help but be at awe.
It wasn't only him though. Everyone looked at Ryoken as if he was a massive eruptive flame midst the endless darkness.
"Let me have it!!!"
I did take into account the possibility of this guy, who was so desperate about this whole situation, to perform his strike at this time.
But, sincerely, Ryoken and I were not in the mood for such stupid developments, thus we utilized what we had at our disposal.
Rayazaki, the one who leaped straight at Ryoken's piece of gold was immediately countered with a heavy strike on the back of his head. Needless to say but, the one who stroke him was no other than me. However, I couldn't allow him to be knocked out. Therefore, I only gave him a somewhat light strike.
"Oi! What's the deal, Daniel!? Why are you siding with Ryoken?! We all agreed that we would steal the piece of gold without any remorses, what gives!?"
I did say 'Yep!' at that time, right? Well, I guess this is an awkward moment to go back on my own word. But oh well.
"Well Tsudo, do you want to know why I've sided with Ryoken?"
To be honest the situation was getting a bit dangerous. Even though Ryoken and I were holding our shovels, they had a greater number.
"It doesn't matter! It's mine! I've missed the opposite gender so fucking much! I think my boner got deflected yesterday!"
"How the fuck is that any relevant right now?! I couldn't care less if your boner got deflected!"
"Deflected boners matter, Daniel! Masturbation is the healthiest thing a human being can do! It's heresy to have a deflected boner!"
"Masturbation!? Oiiiiiiii!!!! You fucking masturbated in the darkness you fucking shameless prick?!"
"Got a problem with that!? I wouldn't have to be so desperate but I am desperate! I haven't seen a girl for more than two weeks now!! All I see are boys. BOYS!! I'm not fucking European!"
Crap, I seriously didn't think that Tsudo was this desperate. I also forgot what sort of person this guy is.
"All of you, stay back and listen to my words! We will all leave here together!"
"Stop screwing around, Ryoken! You know that shit ain't happening ever! Hand over the fucking gold and I will spare your ass!"
"Shut the fuck up, Kan! I'm tired of your shit! Stop being so damn selfish, all of you! I will share this piece of gold with everyone if you all cooperate! Otherwise, I will fucking eat it right now!"
Great going! Nice going, Ryok- Wait, what!?
"Oi, oi, Ryoken! You can't be serious!"
"I'm so fucking dead serious!! And don't think you'll be able to get it after I take a shit! I'll just eat my own shit back!!"
What the fuck!!!!
"Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up..."
"Fuck, fuck, I can't unsee it!! Ahhhhh!!!!"
Not gonna lie, but I felt like throwing up too.
"If you fucking understand then cooperate, or I will do it! Don't test my wits, you fuckers!"
Oh no, what monster have I created... This is not how inspirational speeches are supposed to portray themselves!!!
"Hah, you're fucking bluffing. You don't have the balls to fucking eat that shit!"
T-Tatsu!? What the fuck are you doing bro!? Get a fucking clue, you colossal idiot!
"Oh!? Fine by me bitch. Watch and test the might of my will!"
He ate it.
"OIIIIIII!!!! DON'T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY ATE IT!!"
Out of desperation, Kan drops his shovel and grabs Ryoken's collar, thus slamming him into the wall.
"Well, I haven't yet. But I will if you all don't cooperate. Yes or no?"
This situation was so fucking disgusting that for a second, in my mind, that beta strategy sounded like a better idea. However, these stubborn dumbfucks weren't falling for what Ryoken was saying. They truly believed that he wasn't going to eat that.
"Oh? No answer. Well then, I'll just swallow it."
"Stop!!!! You were actually going to swallow that, weren't you!? I saw your throat contract!! You were actually going to fucking swallow it!! Fine, I'll side with you!!"
This is the first time I've seen Kan this desperate. Also, Tsudo and Rayazaki were throwing up. Their poor souls were far too young for what they just went through right now.
"Not enough. All of you, say it!"
"Yes, we'll fucking side with you! Just don't use such disgusting threats like that, Jesus fucking christ!"
I'm somewhat sad. I thought that the past emo talk with Ryoken would lead him to become a better person. Honestly, for a couple of hours, I felt good about myself. I thought that I had achieved something good for once.
But, the reality is sad.
Sometimes your speeches which were meant to make someone understand their own emotions better manage to turn that person into a monster who uses threats to have people side with him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad this worked out, but it's undeniably sad that it had to come down to this.
Also, let's remind ourselves that Ryoken is supposedly aiming to become a better person.
"Phew. I thought I really was going to have to swallow that for a second. Yo, Daniel! It worked!"
"Yeah man..."
I can't look at him in the eyes.
I'm sorry.
"Why aren't you looking at me, Daniel?"
I'm sorry.
"What's wrong? Is there something on my face, Daniel?"
I'm so sorry.
"Explain it, Daniel."
I'm really sorry. I'll reflect on this.
5 minutes later.
Well, after we reached a consensus, it was about time to get this plan on the move. Of course, I didn't tell the actual plan to Ryoken. He would not have understood the profundity in my ultimate chad strategy.
Coming out from our cells, we resumed digging.
Ryoken explained something really basic. Essentially, before King George returns, since he leaves the underground when it's lunchtime, Ryoken was going to put the gold in the same place as Hyunda said. This way, this was naturally bound to result in something good.
Seeing the huge black silhouette of King George that came right from the surface's entrance, he couldn't help but be surprised at the fact that we were already digging without him having to tell us to do so.
Even his mayonnaise sandwich fell off from his greasy hands.
"Y-You guys... I can't believe this..."
"Huh? What are you talking about, King George! We love digging! Isn't that right, guys!?"
"Damn right we do! Digging banzai!!"
We all shouted those sarcastic words out loud only to allude King George.
10 minutes later.
Having reached our desired destination, the supposed piece of gold's location, we had to act all together now.
"Hm? What is this? Oi, Rayazaki, I think I stumbled upon something all myself."
"Yourself? Hahaha, what are you on about, Tsudo? WE stumbled upon in!"
"Oh, hahah. Silly me, of course WE did."
"That's right, that's right. What a splendid teamwork WE have."
"You're damn right, Sagasuga! WE are number one!"
Weird time to make a Lazy Town reference, but whatever. Tatsu's reference aside, this was going perfectly.
"Hey Daniel! Should WE show what WE found TOGETHER to King George?"
"Sure, Ryoken! I'm sure that King George will be happy when he finds out what WE found!"
The reason as to why we were acting sarcastic was because King George was basically right there.
"Oya, it seems you all have found something. What is it!?"
"Well, actually, I found i-"
I had to smack him before he got any weird words out.
"King George, what Rayazaki was going to say is that, after OUR tremendous effort, WE just so happened to have coincidentally stumbled upon this rare piece of gold! And would you believe me when I say this!? WE ALL FOUND IT TOGETHER!"
"Hm. That does seem to be the case. But, I can't let you all go just like that. I'm afraid only one of you can go. So, work that out."
Now!
"Actually, about that. I've been thinking, just in case this situation happened. What if we could solve this from another angle?"
"Excuse me?"
"King George, you like fights, right? Like real bloody fights, right?"
"Well, yes. A contest to the death is how it should be done!"
Alright, he took the bait.
"May I offer a suggestion that will not only solve this situation but also please your insatiable quench for bloody fights?"
"You caught my interest now. Normally, I would just two slap you until your tooths were all depleted. This better be good."
This either works or it doesn't...
"Well, about that... have you ever heard of a game called Street Fighter?"
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