“You call me what?! You dare, you bastard?!” Reiko-chan screamed as she repeatedly drove her heel repeatedly into my torso.

“Wahhhhh!!! Yaiiii!!!” My piteous cries bounced off the genkan walls.

*THOMP THOMP THUD SQUISH*

She started to jump up and down on top of me like I was a trampoline. I twitched as kami reached out to whisk me away from my pain. Spotting the flashes of Reiko-chan’s creamy thighs as she trounced me proved to me this life was worth living. I grinned despite the pain.

“Y-YAIIIIIII!” I yelped when she leapt off and leaned down to lift me up by my collar.

“Are you sorry?” She glared at me. I nodded my head as though it was a machine gun. “Good!” She threw me to slam to the ground again.

Can you blame me for loving her so much?

“Reiko-chan! I love you!” I actually managed to confess my feelings to Reiko-chan and I said it as loud as I could. This was right after she’d utterly demolished me. Well, it didn’t occur after the latest physical beating she’d delivered to me in my family genkan. It was right after she’d destroyed me in the fighting game Tekken. I’d been thinking about how to confess my love to her the whole time, so I blame my defeat on being distracted. Of course, I wouldn’t have lost soundly so often if I weren’t nervously thinking about the cute girl sitting by my side on my bed. It was intimate. Her leg would sometimes touch mine. She didn’t mind doing it, though. I started to think it might mean she had a thing for me.

“D-Damn it! Why’d you have to go and weird things up!?” she responded, balling up a fist. It looked like the finishing move from the character she liked to use in Tekken. Her fists lashed, knocking me across the bed. She ended it in a powerful roundhouse kick straight to my head. I flew and blood flowed through the air. I hit the wall hard, my expression silly and confused.

“R-Reiko-chan?” I hesitated, twitching against the wall.

“The answer is no!” Reiko stomped and jumped. “I have a date in Akihabara tonight! Why’d you have to make things so weird? I was having fun kicking your butt, but you just had to go spouting things like this!”

“W-why? D-Don’t you like me? You spend time with me every..." I essayed an uncertain response as I climbed to my feet. “I mean really, I love your company. When you show up it’s like the sun just rose. You bring light to my life. I mean it earnestly.” I’d somehow found courage, maybe because she’d knocked some sense into me.

I wiped the blood from my lips coolly. My stance might have been a bit battle ready.

She stared at me. “The answer is no, Susumu! You’re the scariest and ugliest looking bastard on the face of the earth!” she exclaimed. Ouch! She’d hit me where it hurt most, as always. If you had to choose between crying over something like this, it’s always best to laugh.

“C’mon!” I rushed to her, weakened by her verbal barrage. “Let’s do it! I’ll take you on the best date you’ve ever been on! You can go with the other man later and I promise I won’t make you late. I swear I’ll show you I can be the guy you need and want. It’ll be so fun you won’t want to even look at him later!” I took her hand. She blinked and flushed. I smiled, encouraged by the reaction. She looked so bashful and cute. I’d scored a victory by triggering her. I thought she might see me as a man, finally.

I grinned, assuming my victory. “Let’s do this thing! Right now!”