I fucking hate humans. Why? Because they are a plague, they destroy everything.

I lived in country named Latvia [a land where author’s from] . When I was 26 years old a war broke out. Russia and USA those fuckers didn’t even hesitate to use nuclear weapons from the beginning! Well that’s how human civilization came to the end on Earth.

So why am I still able to think? I have no fucking idea. I don’t even know how long I have been floating in this empty space. It’s so fucking boring!

While I was thinking that suddenly a loud and masculine voice was heard.

“Hello little soul” (???)

WTF? Did I lose my mind? I started hearing things.

“No you didn’t lose your mind.” (???)

Then where are you I can’t see you…forget that who the fuck are you?

“I AM A GOD OF EVOLUTION! Also you can’t see me because I have no psychical form.” (god of evolution)

So what does god need from me?

“Straight to the point eh? I have come here to reincarnate you to another world.” (god of evolution)

Ohhh cool!!!!!! But why?

“I have nothing to do.” (god of evolution)

Eh? But you are a GOD! And you say ‘I have nothing to do’ what about you know god stuff?

“It is precisely because I am a god I am bored! We gods are all seeing and all powerful only when it comes for our own creations, also we can do some stuff to souls and that’s it. You don’t even know how it is to be a perfect being that’s can’t do almost anything!” (god of evolution)

Well that’s a bummer. But what’s in it for you?

“Entertainment…” (god of evolution)

Entertainment...HUH?!

“I will watch your adventures like TV show!” (god of evolution)

Can I refuse?

“You can't.” (god of evolution)

…

“…”(god of evolution)

OK.

“Good. You can chose to be reincarnated as a last race you been living, which is human or become a completely different being of my creation which is evos, a race that evolves constantly, now chose!” (god of evolution)

I hate humans so second.

“I see. The choice has been made.” (god of evolution)

As he said that I was engulfed in bright light. As my consciousness was fading away I heard.

“As evos you will start from multicellular organism! Have a happy new life!” (god of evolution)

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!

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And also I would be very grateful if someone would write in comments how to make a spreadsheet like a Blue screen in the RE:HAMSTER.