Suddenly and without warning there was a mighty impact, as something threw its weight against my attacker, sending bodies sprawling to recover their footing as both parties tumbled to my side. My rescuer was the mirror image of my attacker, albeit in much worse condition. And it was doing its damnedest to keep my assailant pinned down.

Holy crap. Did that mob just… save me?

Just as suddenly, yet another frenzied mob threw itself onto the brawl taking place mere inches from my avatar. It was the creature’s original opponent, and it was determined to finish what it had started.

I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but one thing was for certain: I wasn’t looking this gift horse in the mouth. Not when its fellow horses’ mouths were equally horrific, and ready to tear my freshly minted flesh from my bones with their teeth. I got to my feet and hurriedly retreated further into the edges of the lair, frantically looking to the other players for help as I ran. But they all just stood there, glassy-eyed, like oddly muscular store mannequins modeling the latest in caveman chic. The only sign of life from any of them was emanating from the eyes of the bald, tattooed mage at the back of the room: they glowed with an eerie green light, his face strained and sweating. As suddenly as I had noticed their bizarre glow, his eyes dimmed. Simultaneously, one of the creatures behind me let out what could only have been its death cry. And I had a pretty good idea which shadow foal had bought it.

I looked back, confirming that yes, my unexpected savior was now little more than a bloody mess splattered across the stone floor. To my relief, its assailants had gone back to hacking at the frozen bodies of the warriors surrounding them, evidently distracted by the easy prey. Which bought me time, if nothing else. But how much time? How long could a party of fighters who couldn’t even defend themselves sidetrack these monstrosities, before the damn things became my problem again?

I surveyed my surroundings, quickly realizing that I was trapped in what appeared to be an underground of some kind. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected: Atonement Incorporated were incredibly secretive about the nature of their redemption software, arguing that information leaks only gave their potential customers the opportunity to enter on an uneven playing field. And after my short break on goblin island, I really didn’t have a clue what to expect. I understood that I was here to be punished, but this shitshow felt like overkill.

echoed a voice in my head, jolting me from my thoughts, adding: The voice was guttural but urgent.

What the hell’s going on with my status bot, I wondered to myself, frantically looking in all directions. And when did the damn thing get so rude?

To my surprise, a gangly, red-skinned individual was waving at me from behind a transparent glaze of energy. I was taken aback by just how ugly the humanoid creature was and could only assume it to be one of the games aforementioned demons.

continued the voice in my head.

I took a few nervous steps forward, literally caught between the devil and the devil’s pony sanctuary. Neither option looked particularly inviting, but at least the humanoid was trying to be civil, which was more than I could say for my attackers.

“Who are you?” I spat, trying my best to look threatening. “What the hell is going on here?” Hell felt like the appropriate choice of words, given the circumstances.

it replied.

Yup, the Demon with the blades jutting out of its arms was making references to puncturing my feeble avatar. I quickly decided there was no way in hell I was getting any closer to him, forcefield or not.

The creature sighed in my head.

“Keep them fucking occupied?” I protested, as I watched one of the ‘things’ in question literally tear a meaty chunk out of a helpless barbarian’s thigh. “And how do you suggest that I do that? Try and make myself as chewy as possible? Hope that my noob avatar somehow gives them constipation?”

he replied, as if it was the simplest quest in the world.

I looked back to the boss in question. It had now finished its dwarf sized snack and was stalking toward the individual I assumed to be the party’s gun mage.

“I’ll be slaughtered,” I protested.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” I demanded. “I’ll just respawn.”

I shook my head. I didn’t like the sound of this.

What? Holy crap! How is that fair?

Without warning, a translucent panel opened up in front of me.

-[ Quest received from user: G’rrak. Would you like to view further detail? ]-

Nervously and with little other option, I clicked yes.

NEW QUEST – Monster fodder.

A demon guard has granted you an important task.

Goal: Distract the enemy, buying the raid party more time to recover.

Type of quest – One off.

Reward: 10 gold. Potential rescue by the raid party.

Rep effect – Varies, depending on the number of lives saved.

Accept Y/N?

I turned to face my ‘quest.’ While we’d been ‘talking’, another of the barbarians had fallen, a trail of the warrior’s blood marking the path by which he had been dragged to the larger creature’s feet. The fact that the smaller mobs were feeding it only confirmed its boss status, and I was just in time to witness the horrific sight as the shadow stallion pretty much swallowed him whole.

Hmmm. So, the thing is driven by hunger, and the smaller mobs exist purely to feed it. Surely if I hang back and let it have its fill, my odds of survival-

butted in the demon, hijacking my selfish thoughts.

That pretty much sealed the deal. All I currently had to my name was my sword, my dagger, and a small bundle of healing herbs. Anything the creature could give me that would increase my odds of survival was welcome. I hit yes.

“Okay, whatever it is you’re offering, hand it over,” I demanded.

He was pretty hard to miss. I could only assume this one was the party’s tank. Either that, or he must have been huge to begin with, before the game started adding on the enhanced bulk of the barbarian trait. Perhaps a bit of both was at play. I nodded.