《Subversion》[4] You Must Gather Your Party Before Venturing Forth Ch. III

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"Hey, how's it going? Nice day, isn't it?" Kinenhael asked a passing elf.

"Humph!" he responded and brusquely walked away.

"Oh, they don't like you, either? I thought it was me," Caertonn said.

"No, no. They don't even like each other. Watch."

They stopped at the fountain in the center of the village. A woman passed by another and stopped, looking her over. "You're so brave, wearing that dress with those slippers. Quite a feat not to look silly."

The other woman looked her up and down as well. "Yes, well, it takes practice, and since you've lived longer than most, you'd know."

They both gave each other a smile with a "hmm" before continuing to walk in opposite directions.

"Those compliments were so backhanded, they should form their own dojo," Caertonn said.

"See. Nothing is ever good enough for them, so why bother?" Kinenhael said, waving his hand. "Doesn't matter if you're a pile of shit or a king."

"You don't get better for them, you get better for yourself and maybe anyone that wants to appreciate it. Don't bother for them; bother for the people that matter."

"I like that, Caertonn," Kinenhael said, paying close attention to the pronunciation. "That was pretty fucking swell of you." He looked around at their surroundings. "We're out of the center. We should talk about your progress."

"Yeah, I know I'm not as high as I should be. To be honest, I cracked the book open yesterday for the first time and there's still a lot to take in."

"That would explain why you're level two."

"Two? That's...better than I thought."

"How many diamonds do you have?"

"You mentioned that before. I don't know what that is."

"This might go easier if we linked. Get our your book."

Caertonn moved his pack around and grabbed his Book of Yu'ai from the top. He flipped it open. "What now?"

"That's just so you can see after we link. Ready?" Kinenhael held out his pinky finger.

"Uh..." He held up his pinky in return and was surprised when the elf wrapped his finger around his own.

"There, linked," he said. "Now, take a look at your book."

The first four pages remained the same, but somehow another had snuck in after they had linked. "Kinenhael Goldenleaf" it read with a small moving picture of in the corner where he turned his head and smiled occasionally. Three bars followed as well as some information, the diamonds, graphs, and a filled bottom section with the title “Bombardier”.

"Let's see," Kinenhael said, snapping his goggles down and tapping the side. "Uhh...hmm. Okay. Well, your H and G is looking pretty good."

"What's that?"

"Hunting and Gathering. It's not surprising, given that you're a farmer. Every time you picked a crop or milked a cow or shot a rabbit, your H and G skill went up a little. You actually leveled out of basic and you're about two-thirds into advanced."

"That's good?"

"Well, it means you're almost halfway there. Then, after that, you need three more diamonds to get an ultra diamond, then three more ultra diamonds to finish everything."

"Oh."

"No, it's fine. From what I read, most adventurers get two ultra diamonds at the most. You really only need to pick the skills you need and H and G is a good one to have." He paused as he looked ahead. "You also have Communication, which I gathered already by the fact that you can read. You're almost out of basic on that. You went to school, I take it?"

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"When the family didn't need me at the farm."

"Okay, good, good. You have two slots open to choose. It's good to pick one from each category. I have Engineering, which is a trade, Blacksmithing, also a trade, but it goes well with Engineering, Inscription, an augmentation, and Communication. I can't pick any more, unless I want to dump years of work. I have to finish those before I move on to something else."

"Wow! You have three professions at the third tier. That's incredible!"

Kinenhael gave him a bashful smile as they began walking again. "Well, you know, it's work. You'll get there. You just need to work at it every day. Check your book. It'll offer suggestions on what to do to level up. Now, about your class..."

"I don't think we should rule out me being a ranger."

"Well, no, I think that's fair. Let's look at the other options, though." He tapped the side of his goggles again. "We have caster, melee, or auxiliary to choose from." He inhaled deeply and looked up. "Auxiliary. That's it. Okay, so you said 'no' to bard. Witch? Cleric?"

"I don't think those fit me."

"Okay, caster. Casters use mana to hurl spells at their enemies. Fry 'em to a crisp, blast chill them, maybe slowly squeeze them to death with a nice entangling vine. You have elementalists, mages, and summoners."

"I'm not feeling great about those, either."

"Melee. Meleers punch and stab people. Who doesn't love doing that?"

"Me. I don't love punching people."

"They'd be bad guys."

"Well, that's a matter of opinion," he said, crossing his arms. "Just because someone points at someone and says, 'That's a bad guy right there' doesn't mean it's true."

"If you go inside an encounter, it's best to just assume that everything is a bad guy, even the female bosses. Bad girls. And you can punch them or stab them."

"But, that doesn't sound like something I want to do."

"As a ranger, you'd occasionally stab people anyway."

"Oh, well, if I were to take melee, what are my options?"

"So glad you asked. Would you like the basic path, the holy path, or the disciplined path?"

"What's the difference?"

"The basic path has no requirements, but no benefits, either. If you're holy, you have to pray and visit temples, but you get auras and a faith meter, things like that. If you're disciplined, you have to do extra work, but you level faster and get bonuses for favorite attacks."

"What's the basic path?"

"The illustrious corsair. Dashing, brave, heroic, even, well-dressed and erudite."

"That sounds like a possibility," Caertonn said, smiling. "Um, what is a corsair exactly?"

"A privateer, a swashbuckler of the seas, a dangerous Davy Jones dandy who duels for doubloons."

"A pirate? I can't be a pirate."

"Why not?"

"Oh, well, it's just that I've never held a foil, I don't steal, and, well, I'm afraid of water."

"Caertonn," Kinenhael said, putting his arm around him, "you're taking this too literally. You don't actually have to be a pirate, you just do things pirates do. You'll likely never set foot on a ship. You'll learn to fight with a foil. And, to be honest, corsairs were legal pirates, so you'd only steal things from..."

"...the bad guys. But, I don't..."

He stopped and looked at his new partner, who looked back at him with something between expectation and concern. No, he didn't want to be a corsair. There wasn't any appeal to the class for him. But, he needed to be something and it was better to take something.

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"All right. I'll try it out, see how it fits."

"Wonderful!" Kinenhael said, beaming. "You won't regret this. We're going to work together so smoothly."

"I hope so. When should I declare my class?"

"Right now, if you want to. Go to the first page in your manual and press the button that says ' class'."

"Button?" he said, holding his book open.

"You can interact with the pages."

"What? That's..." He placed his fingertip on the page and it depressed without any sensation. "Oh, it's like magic paper." A list of classes formed. He held his finger over a few and words appeared below describing what each entailed. He set it to “ranger” and his heart swelled to see this accompanying picture of an intriguing, cloaked figure with a wolf by his side in the middle of the forest.

"Yeah, magic paper." He waited until finally Caertonn picked “corsair”, then moved his goggles back up. "Now, let's wait a few moments until dead drop bear shows up."

"The what?"

Caertonn turned as he heard the sound of earth moving and saw a mounding tunnel under the ground. It stopped and after a moment a little furry bear popped up, his big floppy ears twitching. He turned towards Caertonn and climbed out of the hole, a tiny pack attached to his back.

"Oh gods isn't it adorable?" he said. "I want one."

"They don't make good pets. They deliver packages and spend the rest of the day underground."

"He's still cute." He knelt down and scratched the bear behind the ear. It gave some excited squeaks and nuzzled up to Caertonn. "Let's see. Underground? I bet you like root vegetables." He pulled a carrot out of his bag and the squeaks got more excited at the smell. While the creature was busy nibbling on the carrot, Caertonn took the incredibly awkward foil off its back, then opened the knapsack. Inside was a bundle wrapped in twine with a letter on top.

"Dear Sir or Madam. Congratulations on joining the exciting profession of being a corsair Corsairs are dignified sea folk, blending the quick wit and nimbleness of a sailor, the dashing bravado and swordsmanship of a musketeer, and the diplomacy and refined dressing of a courtier. Included in your introductory package is a practice foil, a set of corsair drabs, and a talisman to show the good folk of Balobaer your honor. It is recommended that you travel to your guild house the next time you are in a grand city, like METRAFT. Enjoy your new profession!"

Caertonn folded the letter and put the bundle in his pack.

"Aren't you going to put on your drabs?"

"Maybe later. Right now we should figure out where we're going."

"No rhyme or augury needed, the map will tell us." Kinenhael moved his goggles down and tapped on the frame. "We're almost at the crossroads. Once we hit the sign, we'll take a right west to meet our healer. No rush; he's headed in our direction, so we can take advantage of our surroundings."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Pokore, the region we're in, is a gentle place that's great for starting adventurers. I've read of some darker lands up north where roads aren't safe and stepping off onto the grass will get you killed immediately. So, before we go there, let's see what we can do to level up a little."

"Do we just...find something and kill it, then?"

"No. Your book will tell you more."

Caertonn opened his book to the page with quests. There were several with check marks, including one about surviving the bear attack. One sat unfinished, called "Know Thyself", without an explanation on how to complete it. Another, meet Therpis Strondeivian, was right at the top, waiting to be finished. And below that...

"Kill mixies," he said, then looked up at Kinenhael. "What's a mixie?"

"Don't know. Tap on the quest, then look at the map."

Caertonn did and flipped the page. A translucent green blob sat over the map, more opaque in some places.

Kinenhael anticipated his question. "Those are where the mixies are located. The darker it is, the more of them there are."

"Ah, so, just up ahead, if I'm reading the map correctly."

They followed the road westbound for a quarter of a mile. Caertonn took the opportunity to show his appreciation. "I just wanted to thank you for walking me through all this stuff. I really should have read more. I'm glad you did and that you're being so patient with me."

"Oh, no problem," Kinenhael said, smiling. "We're a team. We help each other out."

"Out of curiosity, how do you know so much?"

"Oh, just north of the Elder Ring are some dwarvish and gnomish communities. They live in the mountains, sometimes inside the mountains, but they have small villages. There's a bar there called The Hammered Nale where they like to drink and get rowdy. I started showing up there a few years ago. After a while they started talking to me about things. One of them. Old Youkai, used to be an adventurer. So, I learned from him."

"That sounds nice. I bet he had some great tales." A few hundred feet later, Caertonn said, "Here it's dark green."

"Perfect. Now, we will exit the safety of the road, like thus," Kinenhael said, stepping dramatically off the cobblestones. "Never go off the road unless you mean to fight."

"That I do know."

"Good. That's an important lesson to learn or else you'll get attacked by ligers and tigons and bugbears, oh my."

"Or just bears. So, where are the...?"

The map had grown larger and there was a blinking dot just ahead of them. Caertonn looked up, then back down, then up again. All he could see was a forest with little underbrush, a few squirrels and birds in the trees, and a rabbit nibbling on some vegetation.

"That's a mixie?" he asked.

"My goggles tell me 'yes'. It says it's a level three mixie."

"But...but it's a bunny rabbit! I don't want to kill a cute, little bunny!"

Kinenhael lifted his goggle and cocked an eyebrow. "You like animals, huh?"

"Yeah! I got along very well with the goats and cows and chickens on the farm."

"Oh, right," he said, slapping his goggles down. "I guess everyone has to have their hobbies. Anyway, in order to complete the quest we need to kill the cute, little bunnies. I know, I know. I don't really want to kill them. It's unfair and..."

The mixie nearby turned towards them. Huge, tumorous sores covered its face, pulling the rabbit's lips back in a sneer. Its eyes were red and swollen, the fur missing around them. It opened its mouth and its teeth were crooked and sharp, warped by blisters and ulcers. It hissed ferociously and turned to charge.

"Shit!" Kinenhael said, stumbling to grab a gun from his pack. "Kill it with fire!"

His gun let out a torrent of flames that set the mixie, bushes, branches, squirrels, and one poor, luckless finch on fire. When the elf had finished and everything around them in an arc was charred beyond recognition, he put the gun down and took a few deep breaths.

"So...that's what that does," Caertonn said. "I was wondering."

"This is an incremental elemental, level five," he said, holding it up. "Right now I can only do fire and ice. When I reach level fifteen, I can upgrade it to-"

In its death throws, the mixie twitched its cooked leg. Kinenhael turned and spewed fire again, holding it on the rabbit until he was sure it wouldn't move again. "It's dead."

"I would hope so. You threw a volcano at it." Caertonn nodded at the elf's gun. "How does that work?"

"Mana. That's the blue bar in your book. You get so much of it to power spells and guns and whatnot. If you run out, you need to wait to replenish it."

"How long can you use it before you're out of mana?"

"Mmm, maybe thirty seconds."

"I could gather a bunch of them, then you could blast them."

Kinenhael shook his head. "I'm likely to hit you, too. Look what I did to the forest. No, I have a better idea. It's not usually made for this, but..." He opened his sack and pulled out his spatial spacer. He clicked on a box and moved out of the way as a metallic item grew to its full size. It was bronze with thin, spindly legs and a barrel-shaped torso. "This is a shuttler. It does chores for you and works as a mailbox. I could change that chore to holding the attention of a group of fuzzy nightmares. I'll need to do maintenance every so often. First, though, let's pick your two other skills. Sometimes you can work on two or three at a time."

After going through the list in his book, Caertonn chose Physicality, since his class would need heightened agility and reflexes, and Assembly, since it would be handy if one of them could cook.

They were tasked with taking out fifty mixies. They repeated the quest, going for a hundred, and developed a rhythm. Smythe the shuttler, as he had been dubbed by Caertonn, would run around in a hapless, manic state until he gathered five mixies. Then Kinenhael would freeze them while Caertonn picked them off one-by-one with his foil. They went faster once he reached level three, the same as the mixies, and easier still when he reached level four.

"Good work," Kinenhael said after he turned in the second quest. "I think you hitting four and me hitting six is enough for one day. Come along, Smythe, you've done well."

The shuttler made some rather wretched grinding noises, but fell in line with the two as they stepped onto the road once more.

"We should take advantage of your excellent H and G skill," Kinenhael said. "Get us some dinner."

"And how would I go about doing that?"

"Use your book. It should give you a map with a bunch of items labeled. Smythe and I will guard you while you find food."

"What should I get?"

"I don't know, whatever sounds good. I'm not expecting tai beans, but things we can cook. Er, maybe get a lot. Oh, and maybe no coney."

They didn't have to go far. Caertonn's skill was high enough to spot many things that others would miss. He had plenty of birds' eggs, berries, tubers, and even a low-level boar that dropped some raw pork. Why the others hadn't, he wasn't sure, but he didn't worry about it.

There was a camp site about a quarter mile down the road. Kinenhael was able to start a fire with his auto-lighter, but dinner proved to be more difficult. While the elf had given the human a frying pan, Caertonn was finding his new skill frustrating.

"I'm staring at it."

"Yes," Kinenhael said, hunched down next to him.

"It's still raw."

"I see that."

"It's...dammit, I failed again." Caertonn sighed and slide the blackened and still on fire fried egg to the ground on top of five others.

"Fuck! Like, how does that happen? It literally went from uncooked to burnt in one second!Sorry, sorry, I'm not mad at you, just the situation."

"Maybe we should eat them raw?"

"If we're desperate we can, but eating prepared food is much better. You get more full than if you ate it raw, you get a buff, and you get your health and spirit bars replenished."

"I ate raw eggs when I was home."

"Yes, and weird things happen when you become an adventurer. Better and worse."

Caertonn tried another egg. "What was that you said about a 'spirit bar'?"

"You have three bars, health, mana, and spirit. Health stays full unless you get injured. If you lose all your health, you die, ehh," he said, miming someone being hanged. "Mana stays full unless you use it for spells, like my guns. It's just...sort of there? There's no problem if you have low mana and it will replenish on its own. Spirit is tricky. If you are in good health and you're happy, the bar stays full and you get bonuses, like faster experience. If your health is low for a while, it goes down. If life sucks, it goes down. If your spirit bar runs out, you lose the will to live and you can't do anything."

"Is my bar good?"

"Do you mind me looking? Some people are bashful about it."

"No, go ahead."

"Hard to plot percentages on a bar, but you look like you're in the 90s. That's very good. You seem like a happy person. Me, I don't deal well with stress, so I smoke a bit to increase my bar. Of course, food is better," he said, eyeing the blackened crisp in the pan.

"I'll try again."

This time, his egg went from translucent to white and yellow, the soft hissing of the pan a pleasant change to the usual boof of a meal en flambe. "We have eggs!" he said, excitedly holding the pan out as proof.

"I'll take it! Let's do it a few more times before we try the boar, okay?"

They were able to get five legs of pork from a boar, somehow, and one of those cooked well enough to eat. Kinenhael lit a joint and laid down, staring up at the sky. "Do you ever wonder what's beyond all the stars and the moon and stuff?"

"More stars?"

"Well, like, you know...some are bright and larger, some are less bright and smaller. So, it makes sense that they're, uh, at different places. In space. But, how do we know they weren't made that way? Like, someone drew them out to seem like they were stars, but they're not."

"I don't know," Caertonn said, looking up. "Is there a machine you could build to check it out? Like, a bomb that launches you into the sky?"

There was a pause, then a hacking cough. "Shit! That's...I can't figure out if that's, like, brilliant or stupid. Know what? Doesn't matter. I like it."

"I mean, I was just thinking that the best way to be sure about something is to explore it or do it yourself. If there were a way to go to the stars and see whether or not they were painted or existed, it would be the surest way to know."

"Ahh, Caertonn, I like the way you think, you know? Glad you didn't choose monk; you're not holy minded."

"Well, so far it's been fun. I think we're going to work well together."

"Yeah, same, man. I feel like we're going to get to the end, you and I and our two future friends."

While Caertonn still had his reservations, he was willing to wait before reserving judgment. Kinenhael wasn't a bad person and traveling with someone else gave him the kind of conversation he enjoyed. His elven companion was knowledgeable and he was a good teacher. And being with someone else made him feel safer.

That was, until he awoke and crawled out of his tent the next morning to the sight of four men with arrows nocked at him and his new friend.

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