“Stop laughing at me!” Astil ranted with an angry blush on her face. Zacharias didn’t care. He just couldn’t get over the fact that a socially awkward elven princess just got embarrassed by his mom, of all people.

She clenched her fists at her side, glowering at him.

Zacharias straighten up, wiping his eyes and realising mid-motion that he forgot to remove his eyeliner after all the ruckus with the elves. Shit.

Astil cocked her head. “Wait...are you using cosmetics?”

He checked his face in his smartphone screen, attempting to wipe the smeared bit away with a tissue. “Yep.”

“But...I thought only females did that. Stop grinning!”

“Can’t help but smile at the tasty shame on your cheeks.” That sounded kinda wrong. Damn internet.

The princess blushed a bit more. This man was an imbecil. No one ever dared to laugh at her like that. Then again, he wasn’t obliged to treat her like royalty, she said so herself. Sighing, she gathered her social skills.

“...you bought food.”

Zacharias glanced at the bag he had dropped on the kitchen floor and subtly moved to hide it behind his legs. “No I didn’t.”

Sighing, she gave him that “can-you-please-just-humor-me” face again.

“...alright, maybe I did buy food. Are you hungry?”

A look at the clock told her it should be evening. The sun was weird in this world. “Yes.”

Picking up the bag and starting to unpack its contents into the fridge and cupboards, he tried to be serious. “Look, I’m sorry. I know I can be a real ass, sometimes.”

She snorted. “Sometimes?”

Zacharias smiled a broad, innocent smile. “I mean well!”

The princess poked the sandwich with a fork. It smelled like dairy products and fresh vegetables. Not too bad. The bread looked soft and tasty.

“How do you...eat this?” She asked from her seat at the kitchen table. Zacharias cleaned the knife he used, absolutely not looking like a fashionable serial killer. Altis half expected him to lick the blade like a goblin thirsty for blood.

That’s rude. He doesn’t look like a goblin at all.

“Since it’s not a Gordon Ramsay Burger, with your hands.”

Once again noticing how different he looked without the black rim on his eyelids and the dark, ominous clothes now that he had exchanged them for baggy trousers and a short-sleeved shirt, she looked outside through one of the windows. A few people were on the street below, the buildings on the other side being lower than this one, offering a nice view of rooftops and the occasional tree poking out. None of the humans dressed like him.

“If I might ask...” she began, trying not to be socially awkward again, “why are you dressed like that? Why use makeup?”

He pursed his lips. Apparently, he liked doing it. “I’m a goth. Or at the very least, I look like one in my free time and when I go out to clubs and conventions. It’s a lifestyle thing. Dark clothes, lots of belts and laces, makeup and dark stuff.”

Altis’ interest was piqued. She carefully took the sandwich and awkwardly bit into it. It was good. “Dark stuff?”

“Philosophizing about death, metal ballads...though I’m mostly into the fashion and music.”

She nodded, chewing and swallowing her mouthful. “You also said you’re working for the army. How come you’re at home?”

Zacharias shrugged. “It’s my vacation, had to use up my extra hours. Still have a week left. Looks like your archmage did his homework and picked a good time.”

Astil nodded and continued eating. She had so many questions she wanted to ask, but didn’t want to look like a curious child. However, one thing she wanted to know, hoping it wasn’t a rude question.

“If I may ask, how old are you?”

He turned his head to shoot her a curious glance. “Twenty five. Why?”

“Just...curious.”

Now she really felt like a child. He had been an adult for years.

After a few moments, it seemed like curiosity won and he turned around again.“So...how about you?”

Astil shrank in her seat, looking at her plate. “...twenty one.”

“Huh.” he made before noticing. “Uh, is that a question elves don’t ask?”

“No, it’s just...elves mature around eighteen like humans, but we aren’t really considered adults until we’re thirty. I’m legally still a teenager in my world.”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled amusedly. “Well, in this world you’re a full fledged adult.”

Astil felt small. “I don’t think I’m ready for taxes.”

Zacharias couldn’t help but laugh, causing her to shrink even more. “No One ever really is.”

After dinner, her host gave her a couple of books so she could familiarize herself with the human world a bit more.

“Also, please don’t watch TV at night.”

“I...won’t. Why?”

“There are things better left unseen.” He said with a look like he remembered dark times. “You know what, let me disable the shitty programs, just to be sure.”

After fiddling with the remote for a bit and bidding her a good night, he left and retreated to his study. A few minutes later, wild clicking and the occasional curse could be heard through the door.

Maybe he was using this computer thing she read about? His job had to do with them, after all. An outrageous understatement, as she would come to learn.

Burying herself in the books in the light of the floor lamp, she thought about her situation.

This was her life for now and the foreseeable future. She would have to adapt to this world, find a way to talk to people without embarrassing herself or her host, learn his mother language and so on. Deciding to explore the TV a bit, she pushed several buttons to change the program. Then, she tried a new one and her eyes went wide when a single word filled the screen:

Netflix.

In his corner in the corridor, Spidey’s spidersense tingled and sent a shiver down his thorax. Something wasn’t right.