I teleport into my slave village, two bottles of wine in hand. “Everyone gather around.” The demis that heard me say that begin to move in stiff robot-like actions towards me. “That wasn’t and order move at your own pace.” Their movements relax as they regain control of their bodies. Damn, do I have to watch what I say around them. No telling what the slave magic might construe as an order. A crowd gathers around me and I pass out drinks. The demis take them with shaky hands.

“Yall did a good job yesterday. I felt it was my duty as your boss to reward you for your hard work.”

They hold their drinks in their hands and peer deeply into the grape alcohol with sad faces.

“Don’t look so glum. Cmon drink--” I stop myself from telling them to drink up. I don’t want to command them to drink. “If you would like to then I would appreciate it if you all had a drink with me.” I pour myself a glass. I bring it to my mouth and take a sip. It falls right through my chin and onto my armor. Oh yeah. I always forget that I’m a skeleton. The demihumans bring shaky glasses to their mouths. Their hands are so jittery that the wine begins to spill out.

“This is sickening! You can’t do this!” The elder mouse screams before his collar sparks and he is on the floor writhing like a tazerred man.

“What the fuck?” I rush over to help me. “You are you okay?”

“Don’t make fun of me. “ He manages to choke out through the pain.

“I’m not! I’m not! What the hell?” I frantically try anything to make it stop. I turn to the nearest demihuman. “I order you to tell me what’s happening.”

She goes stiff and with a monotone voice replies. “He went against master. The collar is punishing him accordingly.”

“When the fuck did I order that?”

“It’s built into the collars. No speaking Ill of the master, no disobeying master, no hurting master, no hurting master’s property.”

That explains what is happening but it doesn’t explain how to stop it.

“Collar stop!” Doesn’t work, I can’t command the collar.

“You can speak ill about me.” Doesn’t work, it’s not enough like an order.

“I order you to speak freely!” The collar stops electrocuting the man.

“Also forget about the other rules of the collar as well. I want you all to live as freely as possible.” Then I go to check on the old man.

“Jeez, are you okay?” I hold him in my bony arms as I check his breathing and pulse.

He’s unconscious but breathing. “Have you built a hospital yet?” I ask. They shake their heads. “Well then, take him home to rest.” Two large demihumans carry him back to his house. I turn to the rest of the crowd. “I order you, and all of my other slaves to speak freely.” They breathe a sigh of relief. “Also you don’t have to drink the wine if you don’t want to.” They all pour it onto the ground.

“What are you all straight edge? Why does no one want to drink the wine? I spent dungeon points on it. It’s good authentic 2020 7$ gas station wine.”

“Poison.”

“Yeah, I know alcohol is a poison on the soul and body, it’s still a fun drink.”

“Grapes.”

“Grapes?”

“Grapes are poisonous to dog demihumans and cat demihumans.”

“Oh…I knew that actual dogs couldn’t eat grapes, but to think it carried over to demihumans.“

“We were actual animals until not too long ago.”

Oh yeah! The year is only 2025. I didn’t exactly see too many demihumans on the streets back when I was alive. All the furry conventions got shut down because of the virus. “Wow, the aliens really changed the world with their magic.” It’s all I have to say. I’m amazed. Take this poodle girl to my right for instance. She has the same curly black hair as my poodle used to have. Tall, black curly hair with dog ears. Her tail wags constantly. Her skin white. To think that six months ago she was an actual dog.

Fucking wild.

“Do you remember being a dog?”

“No, master, every living being on the planet was struck with some powerful magic that made them forget their past life.”

“Then how do you know that you were a dog?”

“The human before us had books that not even the big booms destroyed. The humans told us that that is where demihumans come from. We must serve them in this life because we served them in our past lives.”

It did seem like a plot hole. This can’t be 2025 and there be people who don’t remember 2020, but alien mind magic sums it up well, despite the concept making my head hurt.

“Well, what would you guys like to celebrate instead of booze?” I deflect before the plot gets any more complicated.

“MEAT!” The crowd roars. I laugh and begin to search the Store System for the best meat my DP can buy.

Waggo is only 1000 DP for one hundred pounds. To think I’d spend one thousand DP on food. A few days ago it was ridiculous, but now It’s worth it. By the time it’s done cooking I’ll have regenerated it.

“Oh, that reminds me. Hiro smashes your houses and shit up. Let me upgrade them too.”

A one-bedroom one-bath is only a hundred points. I spend another few thousand points buying nice houses for my slaves. By the end, they are all cheering for me and hailing me as some kind of god amongst men.

It feels nice.