Like a switch turning on, one second a man named Jared was at home watching cat videos on youtube, but then like a scene from a movie the shot changed to something new, he suddenly found himself dangling in the air over a vast monochrome ocean.

Jared blinks a few times to process the new sensory information and instinctively tried to turn his head to look around, but like a portrait frozen in time, he couldn't move a muscle.

After a moment more he notices the monochrome black and grey ocean slowly begin to gain a deep blue color, then like a cannonball he found his voice and screamed while clawing at the air, as the ocean rapidly began moving closer to him.

--

(Ugh, I've been lying here for a few hours and I can feel my skin slowly begin to blister... whatever unjust god did this to me had better come back and rectify this! I'll file a complaint! I will...)

Jared sighs in defeat.

(Well, even if I die here, at least it's an interesting death, that sun is definitely bigger and brighter than it should be... Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore... not that I've ever been to Kansas or had a dog named Toto, and I'm allergic to furry creatures anyways... oh well why am I nitpicking my own thoughts? Cmon get a grip!)

(No...)

(Maybe I'm already dead, did I somehow die from cuteness overload? Were the cat videos the nail in the coffin for me? Am I now in the seventh layer of hell paying for my sins?!)

Jared lifts his hand out of the water, and feels his pruning fingers then lets loose a screech " NOOOOO, MY FINGERS! THIS REALLY IS HELL!"

(Well, at least it makes sense that the ocean would be my personal hell since I've had a crippling fear of the deep sea my whole life, but... I don't remember doing anything particularly bad though... and I've had a hard life, do I really deserve this?)

He hears a splash from far away, but from his back, there was no way to see what caused it.

Trying not to panic, Jared tries and fails to see the source of the noise, (Oh god what was that... don't tell me that's a shark, there isn't allowed to be sharks in hell, I won't allow it!)

A few minutes pass as Jared tries his best to forget the sound, and suppress his fears.

(Whatever, if there's something in the water with me, it should just come and eat me now... anything is better than this!)

(The only saving grace is the fact that for whatever reason the ocean is warm, and I'm not in direct danger of freezing to death, although the sun beating down isn't going to give me sunburn because of my clothes...)

(Oh that's right when I was plopped, or spirited away, or whatever horrible word you can use for this impossible occurrence, I was stripped of all my clothes, and now I'm a piece of naked human driftwood!)

(No, maybe it's a ruse, the devil that sent me here wants me to slowly dehydrate to death, and roast in the sun, that scoundrel!, that snake!!!)

(You'd think being soaked with water would save me, but no, I can already feel myself blistering!)

Jared felt his mind start to drift away and disconnect due to his worsening physical state,

(Hello dear readers, it is I, Jared!, why am I talking like this you might ask? Well, due to the abuse I received as a child, I found a way to cope, and what is that method you might ask? huhuhu!, not telling you! Ok I'll tell you, I write novels in my head to try to distance myself from the external world, so let me tell you a little bit about myself!)

(I didn't have a good life, being raised by a single mother who was bipolar who turned me into her own emotional tampon for the first sixteen years of my life was a good excuse, but when you are floating on a body of salty water, and slowly dehydrating, you start to question a thing or two.)

(Maybe I could have tried to live a better life, but people don't change so easily, even if whatever cruel God sent me to this watery hell returned me back home this instant, I don't know that I'd try to change or do anything different.)

(And why should I make friends or bother to reach out anyway? I'm a grown man now, and not only that, but humans are cruel, they never understand the pain you are going through unless they experience it themselves!)

(But... Let's be positive now, shall we! yes! Did you know I love animals...? Animals are great, I bet the world I'm on now is full of superhuman sentient cats, or giant cannibals, and the moment they see me they rip me to shreds, or it's a water planet with no land whatsoever, and I'm fated to drown... Oh well, why did I bother lying to myself!)

A small wave then knocks Jared over onto his stomach, Sputtering and coughing from the unexpected event, Jared looks around and curses "Damn you, devil! let me monologue in peace!!"

--

A few more hours pass, and it was nearing sunset, Jared continued to review his life, but soon enough his blistered body and tired mind finally found rest as he drifts along the gentle ocean currents.