xx48.11.04 / 21:45 / Thursday

Okay so you know how on Tuesday I said THAT was the worst day of my life? I lied. Well, I didn't LIE, I can't LIE, but today was DEFINITELY the worst day of my life, so that kind of makes what I said untrue and therefore a lie. There are only two words that could sum up today's events:

TOTAL DISASTER.

Well actually NO, 'disaster' isn't the word I want even though it was TOTALLY a disaster, I need a more powerful word than that:

TOTAL HUMILIATION.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh, I thought I was depressed before but now ... my life is over. I want to die. I'm that down about things. I just spent the last three hours trying to get an outside signal on my Opal, I went for a big walk up the hills behind the school and even climbed on to the apartment roof. Result? Nothing. Local nets only. I WANT MY FAMILY!

Sigh.

I suppose I should write down what happened. Things started off okay. Morning classes were fine, just more boring than I expected. I keep trying to enjoy them but nobody else seems to want to make an effort, not even the teachers. Boring classes are the least of my problems now, though. Lunchtime was when it all went wrong. I was so excited to see 'Ronny' again and her friends and to sit with them and listen to them chat ... but when I went up to their table and said "Hi Ronny!" and went to sit down she just looked at me with this totally blank expression. It was like she hit me, it felt that bad, I don't know why, just seeing her blank face while her seventeen friends all giggled and nudged each other and sneered at me was the worst thing in the world. She waited until I'd recovered a little from the shock and was just really confused and stunned before she talked:

"Nobody calls me Ronny," she said.

And then I knew. In that instant I knew, she'd just been playing with me, tricking me, that she'd just pretended to like me, to be my friend, that she'd just been setting me up for this. Like Veronica had just given a signal, all of the other girls started laughing and talking at once, all about how clueless I was and how stupid, how they'd been insulting me to my face yesterday and I didn't even notice, that they couldn't BELIEVE how far they stretched Veronica's little pretend-to-be-friends-with-Charlotte scheme without me realising that's what they were doing, pretending, and where did someone as naive as silly little Charlotte Powers COME from? The MOON?

That's when the spaghetti sauce got dumped over my head. I didn't see who did it, one of Veronica's cronies probably, it doesn't matter. All that mattered was that I was standing there totally humiliated in front of the whole school and they were all laughing at me again, standing there dripping with tomato sauce, all in my hair and over my new clean uniform and seeping into my shoes.

Worst. Moment. Of. My. Life.

Worse even than when I realised I'd lost my powers. I don't know why, it just WAS.

What followed was pretty bad, too. This guy suddenly appeared, a student but dressed in a different-coloured uniform to everyone else, darker and with a band across it, and he started by telling Veronica off so that wasn't bad, but then he turned on me! I couldn't believe it, I was standing there dripping with tomato sauce and he was telling ME off!

"You might be new here but that doesn't excuse your behaviour," he said. I didn't do anything, though! I haven't done anything bad, just the thing with my guitar which I still haven't gotten back and getting spaghetti sauce dumped over me, what did I do? WHAT DID I DO? Anyway, he wasn't finished telling me off, he went on about me 'causing disturbances' and 'encouraging misbehaviour'.

"I ... I'm just trying ..."

I couldn't get anything more than that out. And before you say anything YES I cried AGAIN, why am I such a crybaby? I'm supposed to be a superhero, even without my powers I should have 'inner strength', right? A will of iron? An indomitable presence of mind? An invincible spirit? I always thought I kind of did but now I know that I don't. I'm not strong-willed or indomitable in ANY way, I'm just a stupid weak girl who cries when she's told off. Just pathetic.

"Trying to do what?" the guy said—he's a head student or something, I don't know, I was too upset for comprehension. "Be a menace to the school? Look, Powers, while you're here you're going to have to do things OUR way. Keep your head down, do your work, and FOLLOW THE RULES. Don't act out, don't rock the boat. The last thing this school needs is another hero. Somebody get her to a bathroom."

So once again I was escorted to a bathroom, my head spinning. What did he mean? What rules? Nobody said anything about any rules! It's not fair to say that sort of thing and not even tell me what's going on! Give me a pamphlet or something with everything written down, otherwise how am I supposed to know how to behave? And what did he mean, 'another hero', how have I acted in ANY WAY heroic since I've been here? Hah, he doesn't have to worry about that AT ALL, if there's one thing I've learnt since I came here it's that I am DEFINITELY not a 'hero'. At this point I wouldn't even make a good VILLAIN. I'm just a no-power nobody, of no worth to anyone.

About halfway through getting cleaned up I realised that the person who was helping me was the creepy girl from yesterday, the one who'd warned me about Veronica. Now I realise what she meant, of course, a little too late.

"Why didn't you tell me!" I demanded—I know it was unfair but I wasn't in a state for reason at that point. She shrank away and I could tell I'd upset her, but to my shame I didn't apologise or say anything, just kept trying to clean up—she'd brought a clean uniform for me but there was a lot of sauce all over me, it got EVERYWHERE.

After a couple of minutes she spoke:

"I did tell you."

That made me feel worse. Horrible, actually. She was just trying to be nice to me and what did I do? Acted like a totally awful person, is what. But ... but I didn't apologise. I should have, but I didn't.

"I'm Charlotte."

That was her, a couple of minutes later. Her name is Charlotte, too. Charlotte Crescent.

"That's my name," I managed to mutter. She half-gasped.

"I'm sorry, I've offended you—"

"No, you haven't—why would that offend me?"

She shrank back again and clasped her hands together in front of herself, kind of wringing them together.

"I don't know," she said, her voice small. "I'm glad I didn't."

I should have said something, I should have smiled at her, I should have done ANYTHING except just walk out of the bathroom—I was clean and changed then—leaving her to deal with my sauce-covered uniform.

After that I couldn't really face anything except coming back here to my apartment and taking two showers and then hiding under my bed with Opal set to 'search'. Then after school was out and the grounds were pretty much deserted I went for a signal-search walk. Nothing, though. Nothing at all.

You know something, though? Even though today was awful and horrible and definitely the worst day of my life, right now, as I write this, I kind of feel ... clear. Like I can think properly for the first time since I teleported here. Maybe I've been suffering some after effects of the teleportation, a kind of brain-scrambling or something, and that's starting to wear off—which might mean that my powers will come back too! Oh, PLEASE let my powers come back. Then I could just ... just run out of this place. Just flee.

Maybe I should try that anyway. Start walking and don't look back. Or take the first bus out of town, at least until I get an outside signal for Opal.

That sounds like a good plan, actually. Tomorrow is Friday. Then it's the weekend, which means no school. I probably wouldn't even think about going back except for the other Charlotte, I feel so bad about how I treated her, or didn't treat her, or whatever, I wasn't good and I need to make up for that. Besides which I kind of ... I kind of just want to see her again, she's creepy and weird but she helped me when I needed it, she tried to warn me against Veronica and in my worst moment she was the one who guided me to a bathroom and cleaned me up and oh my goodness I was so totally awful to her. I didn't even say thank you, that's pretty much unforgivable.

Okay. So that's my plan. Go to school tomorrow to find Second Charlotte and apologise, then on Saturday I get a bus out of this stupid town, get an outside signal on Opal, and call Mum and Dad. They'll know what to do.