“Now I finally found you, little kiddo!

What the heck did you think, jumping in front of my truck for NO GOD DARN REASON???! Do you have a death wish? I can kill you once more, but this time it will be permanent!

Also… ARE YOU STUPID?

I came as soon as I could, but you somehow already managed to make the Haelia kingdom your god darn enemy?!”, the middle-aged man spat out his cigar and descended towards the ground while yelling at me with an angry expression. It felt like he was lecturing his own son… wow that sounds weirder than I thought it would.

I was baffled by this weird and unexpected chain of events. First, I was saved from near death and now some random middle-aged, flying dude was lecturing me about my own suicide. I didn’t know which part of this was the weirdest one. Fortunately, the month since my arrival in this world had made me very resilient to all sorts of unexpected situations and honestly…

This dude didn’t seem too hard to deal with.

“You realize that it’s been a month since I arrived here?”, I interjected after some time had passed and the god (?) was still talking about how I fucked up my relationship with the king. An amused grin appeared on my exhausted face.

The middle-aged god twitched and began to smile wryly. His hand wandered to the messy stubbles on his chin and began to scratch the dirty looking beard.

“I wanted to come sooner, but I had to wait till my vacation. The cargo doesn’t drive itself after all!”

I was speechless. My lips quivered and I couldn’t help but begin to chuckle.

“Y-you really work as a trucker in my world? You’re a freaking god!”, my voice shook as the laughter threatened to take overhand. This was really too ridiculous!

He laughed even more awkwardly.

“Hey, even gods have to make a living! And trucks are quite handy to… ‘acquire’ heroes and transport them to this world!”, his face suddenly changed as he seemed to remember why he had come here in the first place.

“YOU on the other hand were never supposed to be here! You little bastard, even somehow managed to enrage this kingdom’s king enough to make him hunt you down! What the heck did you do? Sleep with his wife and screw his daughter???”, he truly seemed quite angry, shaking his hand in an aggressive manner. Despite that I couldn’t sense any bad intent from this amusing god.

“Let me guess, you are also useless leve- wait… that can’t be right.”, the truck driving god was taken aback and took a deep look at me. His gaze seemed to see right through me and I felt like I was violated by this dirty old man’s eyes. Yes, this IS a hentai reference!

Suddenly the god looked up and began to laugh out loudly.

“Luckily you don’t seem as useless as I originally thought!”, he proclaimed after calming down again.

“Level 35, a few levels above the other heroes of this bunch. Seems like you’re a good fighter too. After all, you managed to survive all of these guys.”, he pointed at the rows of soldiers who pressed their bodies against the ground, too afraid to even lift their heads. After all, they had already realized that they were in the presence of a god; a god who was protecting the enemy they had been about to kill.

“Also… it seems like you have already met an OG. Seems like these old geezers like you!”, he seemed very happy about this fact, a smug expression taking over his face.

“An OG?”, I asked with a clueless expression.

“An old generation god. Though they really don’t like that label. They kind of hate us newcomers and try to keep away from us. For some reason they like you though.”, the truck driving god explained.

The face of a certain ancient loli appeared in my mind. So, these guys didn’t like the so-called gods. I could have guessed so since she was talking about overthrowing them.

“Well either way…”, the middle-aged god continued with a now carefree expression.

“You seem competent enough to deal with the demons, so I see no reason to take any actions here. Though I should tell that king to keep his hands off you. I have no idea what you did, but it can’t be that bad right?”

My face turned awkward and I blushed in embarrassment. He had no idea how close to the truth he had come with his original idea.

“I… kind of enslaved the princess with a slave seal…”, I admitted with a difficult expression.

He gave me a blank stare. Then he began to chuckle before outright laughing.

“Y-you did… you seriously did that? Hahaha… HAHAHA.. God, you are gutsy. But I like that. Is she at least good in bed?”, oh geez, that guy is the perverted god kind of type.

My expression turned a little sour.

“I didn’t… sleep with her…yet…”

That shocked the man even more than the fact that I had enslaved the girl.

“I-is she that ugly?”, he asked with a curious expression.

I wordlessly pointed at Maira who was speechlessly staring at the completely absurd events that were happened right in front of her eyes. The god took a good look, stared at her boobs and ass before checking out her face. Then he shook his head.

“You are an idiot. Screw her while you still can!”, he looked right into my eyes and said this with a completely serious and honest expression. It felt like he was giving me his heartfelt advice.

I only smiled wryly, refusing to continue pursuing the topic. He on the other hand chuckled a little before turning his attention to the rows of soldiers around us. His expression turned stern and all of the sudden the sloppy looking guy was engulfed by an awe-inspiring aura befitting of a true god. His entire disposition changed, and his messy looks turned into a handsome man that could captivate any woman with his looks.

“Hear me, mortals.”, his voice swept across the town and shook the earth.

“Tell your king that this hero is my agent in this country. Anyone who acts against him…

Acts against the will of the gods!”, the sky was filled with deafening thunder as the god’s aura skyrocketed even more. Then he looked over to me and gave me a wink. All the mighty aura and inspiring impression was immediately gone.

“Seriously though, you should screw her.”, his words echoed across the entire kingdom.

I almost fainted from embarrassment while over a million people all across the kingdom were kneeling in shock and wondering what the hell this almighty being was talking about.

The god blinked as he realized that every human within the kingdom had heard what he said. Then his grin broadened.

“What I’m saying is, that the hero should fuck the princess!”, to hell with this shameless dude. HOW THE HECK IS HE A GOD?

“Well, se ya once you finished the demon lord.”, this time he had controlled his voice and only I heard the middle aged god speak.

“You look like you could really do it.”, with this he began to leisurely walk away. Only instead of walking on the ground he walked on this air, slowly raising into the sky as if there was an invisible stair case there. His figure became smaller and smaller until it finally disappeared.

Then I was left alone, standing in the middle of at least thirty kneeling soldiers and being stared at by over a hundred scared villagers and the few adventurers who hadn’t fled yet. Even worse, a completely red faced Maira was steaming with anger and she hid her face in her hands. This was without doubt the most embarrassing day of her entire life.

I looked around awkwardly, not knowing what to do in these sorts of situations. Finally, I sighed, and a confident grin appeared on my face.

“You heard them. Scam and tell the king that I’m going to screw his daughter whenever I want to!”, at this point I might as well roll with that one. It felt really badass to say this as well.

The soldiers and surviving mages hesitated for a short moment before jumping up from the ground and picking up their injured comrades. They quickly bowed towards me, mumbling some sorts of apologies before following the three knights that lead them and retreating at full spead.

It felt like they were a bunch of bullies who had been defeated by a shonen manga’s main character and were now scamming. Well, I’m no shonen manga main character, but I think an isekai main character is good enough.

Suddenly I heard somebody collapse and begin to sob loudly. It was a certain black-haired guild clerk who was crying with her face overtaken by desperation. I could guess the reason for this behavior.

“I-I am s-sorry.”, she shuddered as she prostrated herself on the ground.

“T-the guild m-master t-told me t-to l-lead whu….t-to lead you i-into t-that trap!”, she was clearly terrified that I would take revenge on her after what she had done to me.

Honestly, I didn’t feel to bad about that girl. It’s not like we were friends or anything. What she did wasn’t betrayal and in fact nothing that I would feel angry about. But I didn’t say that.

Instead I shrugged my shoulders coldly.

“If you feel sorry, how do you plan to make up for it?”

She lifted her head and stared at me for some time. Then her eyes suddenly shot over to Maira and a determined expression appeared on her face. With almost inhuman speed she rose up from the ground and ripped off her clerk uniform, revealing her plain underwear.

Then she once again fell to the ground, prostrating herself before me.

“If Master allows, I will be Master’s sex slave, like the princess is!”, the girl proclaimed loudly.

My expression turned funny while I could hear a certain princesses’ despairing mumbling. It seemed like the whole world had misunderstood that idiot god’s words thinking that Maira was a sex slave that I regularly had sex with!

I… seriously didn’t know what to respond. It’s not like I didn’t want to…. But… morals? Accepting a sex slave publicly…. I simply wasn’t brave enough to do that.

So, I simply refused.

“I appreciate your offer. But that would go too far. Just treat me a drink or something and I will consider this matter to be finished.”, I decided to improve my image by playing the magnanimous hero.

The clerk looked up and a grateful smile blossomed on her face. While she had truly been prepared to let herself be enslaved and to perform shameful acts with me, she was very excited that I hadn’t forced things and let her off lightly.

A certain princess also seemed quite happy with that outcome.

I turned around and walked towards my party. All of them were injured and tired, completely overwhelmed by the sudden appearance of a true, living god. But… they were alive and well. This time I hadn’t lost any of my friends.

Relieve washed over me and the tension left my body as he dragged myself over to them. Riina came running towards me, suddenly wrapping her thin arms around me as she snuggled herself against me. Her eyes were full of worry but also brimming with relieve.

“Are you fine?”, she asked me with a faint glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“I wouldn’t know what to do if you died!”, her cute face was brimming with genuine affection towards me.

I… literally fainted at that display of cuteness.

No seriously. I fainted right there.