there was a gorgeous bird

prettier than me.

it was beautiful and i loved it as much as i loved you,

but it hated me.

you told me that it didn't

even the bird told me that it did not hate me.

but i didn't believe you and it.

because beautiful things,

like you and that bird

hate me.

do not tell me lies, i am not a fool.

i see lies where no one sees.

“For I am a fool, greater than thee.”

and i am called nothing but friend.

and i wish to keep it that way.

but i cannot continue on this day.

i laugh

and then i cry

a lot.

“Stop blaming yourself, it’s illogical.”

hahaha.

“Do not cry for fools, or you will cry all day.”

haha.

“It’s fine.”

ha.

i’ve no one to blame but myself.

i can cry all day if i want to.

no it's not fine.

just don't lie to me.

please.

if you can hear me, please, just let me hear all of your voices

one

last

time.

because my mind is flying away

off to the stars

never to last another day.

“Make your time last!”

“Focus on your future.”

“Doesn't that bother you?”

“Shouldn't you be at home?”

“She seems like a gentle soul.”

“Why do you stay here if you're no good?”

“How fast would you get over it?”

“Please join us. We need more people.”

you're all birds,

pretty and fair.

and i am the idiot who tries to fly with them

aren't i?

(December 2018)