The grey mane rat swung its tail at me, wrapping it around my arm, trying to pull me off balance. The oversized rodent didn’t have enough strength and instead lost its own balance trying to pull me in. Using the situation to my advantage, I hold its now ensnared tail tightly and, with a confident jerk, pull the rat towards me, rendering it airborne in the process.

The poor monster could only watch in horror as it rapidly approached me, my dagger already brandished and prepared to strike at my foe. Before it could put up any sort of feeble defense, my weapon already pierced it, killing my opponent instantly.

[Congratulations, you have leveled up!]

I only leveled up twice so far, a far cry from the breakneck speed we were improving last time. It must be a testament to my improvements as I’m not struggling as much as before.

“For being such weaklings, they sure drop a decent amount of loot,” Eve exclaims, eagerly thinking of all the possibilities in crafting and leveling she can apply with this. “We really should figure out a way to sell the junk and buy materials we need.” I agree, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out on the weekend. We barely have any free time right now as is.

We’ve been here for an hour. I’m slightly out of breath but managing. Last time it took us the better part of a day before we called it quits. This time we’ve reached the mystical stairs already. “Is this where we’re supposed to go, then?” I ask her.

“Oh no, you goblin is in another castle, Mario. Of course, it is, silly! Have you seen any other ominous-looking stairs here?” She did have a point. The stairs look royal, though they’ve certainly seen better days. What is supposed to be a regal carpet flowing down each step is battered by the test of time.

Brown splotches, deep cuts, and crumbling stone encompass what was once an impressive sight. I wonder what this place used to before falling apart like this. Whatever it was, it no longer is. I look to my companion, to which a nod is returned. Carefully, we walk down the stairs. The air feels heavier as we descend.

I find myself no longer in a cave but the inside of a castle. At least that’s what it looks like. Withered and decrepit it may be, a kingly feeling surrounded this floor. I can hear some distant sounds of metal hitting metal and flesh. My guess is that there might be some fighting going on.

“We should try sneaking around for a bit to see what we’re up against. I doubt we’ll face too much trouble, but you never know.” She said in an unusually serious tone. It’s a good plan. While we have no idea what’s going on on this floor, it’s best to lay low and snipe the occasional straggler whenever possible.

“ Urghk, ak!” Speak of the devil. A lonely goblin jumbles around, not noticing me sneaking closer. It doesn’t seem to be the same one I faced. This one appears dimwitted even for goblin standards. As if on queue, the green clown trips over a rock. I almost feel bad for what I’m about to do. Almost. As my newfound opponent slowly gets up, I quietly inch closer. It barely had enough time to get up before I reached in, grabbing it by its scalp and plunging my dagger into its throat.

“Well, that was easy enough.” it makes me feel good about myself, knowing that I managed to improve myself this much already. My arch-nemesis shouldn’t be much more of a problem.

“It certainly doesn’t take you much to grow an ego,” Eve laments comically. At this point, I’m getting used to her tone and sass. I fire back at her, “I’ve been told my ego is quite huge, you know,” winking at her.

“Oh honey, they just didn’t want to hurt your feelings” Once again, I’m defeated, though amused at the same time. Who knew that talking to my game menu can be so entertaining. I still have a long way to go before I can catch her off guard.

We decide to slowly move towards the fighting sounds, killing stragglers along the way and looting whatever we can find. My backpack is getting quite full.

[Achievement unlocked! The dumbass award - Reward: A handy inventory system to store items in, which you could use when you started this adventure. Seriously dude? You’ve got a glorified RPG UI, and you didn’t even think to check if you had an inventory? Consider visiting your doctor to check if you have a decimal amount of chromosomes.]

I… Wow. I know I should’ve probably checked, but I was busy with not dying. At least I can rest easy knowing my skin will lose its pale hue from all the roasting I endure both from Eve and the notification texts.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this inventory system?” I ask her, hoping she didn’t know about its existence either. “Eh, you looked so cute with that comically large backpack. I couldn’t help but let you do your thing,” she replied coyly.

Exasperated, I drop it. Just when I thought things were looking up, I find all my supposed allies ganging up on me! What is this, high school? I put my items away in the newly acquired inventory and continue down my path to the mysterious sounds, ignoring Eve’s antics for now.

The sounds get louder and louder as we reach our destination. I’m lucky no one sees me, though they might be occupied with what seems to be an intense battle. I peek around the corner and finally find my main villain, the one I’ve been working towards defeating.

Though strangely enough, he doesn’t seem to be winning. Armored skeleton warriors are slowly widdling down the goblin and his allies. He seems to be leading them, to no avail, as the difference in strength is just too large.

I could leave them to slaughter each other. It would make things easier for me. But part of me knows that the goblins will lose. I don’t want to let that annoyance die before I give him his due diligence. Besides, surely I’ll get more rewards if I defeat both groups.

I’ll help out the goblins for now and deal with them later. The skeletons are the stronger opponent. Luckily I’ve got just the right item to use on a crowd this big.