《Re: Pessimist》Chapter 3: Baby nearly got killed...?
Advertisement
Huh... something's poking me. Oh, this sounds like an innuendo, am I a girl? Did I become the midget? Is my big... oh, it's just a bottle. Well, there goes that wet dream, so what the fuck happened? Let's see... I partied, nope, wrong memory. I... shot a man? No, still the wrong memory. I graffitied sacrilege on a wall? Oh, there's actually sacrilege on the wall, but I didn't write it, since it's too big and I'm still a fucking infant.
"Midget... what happened?" I turned around to the amazing goddess... who is trashed on a pile of bottles. Oh, I remember, she was a lightweight, what a fucking joke. Immortal and amazing being my ass, she can't even stand on her feet for two seconds. Well, fuck, guess I have to piece together the shit from last night.
Well, my status should give me a good indication of the events of last night, that is if they're not utter shit.
Name: Alfred RathmoreSpecies: Human with a touch of a goddess' soulAge: About a dayStatus: Truly in normal stateLevel: 1Titles: Incarnate of Flaryvna, Depressant of Gods, Faithlessness, Goddess of WineSTR: 1INT: 70WIS: 100END: 2DEX: 1LUK: 10
Well, it's honest, I'll give it that. It knows I drink a lot, hence the state reference... so it really is fucking useless.
So, I have a hungover goddess, a lot of wine lying around... and Goddess of Wine! Oh, I remember that, it's the one where I can't ever develop resistances to alcohol, it's a fucking legendary title that only the best of drunks can achieve! I consider it an achievement that defines my entire life from here on out.
"AAAAAH" Oh, sounds like my mother's screaming, well that's noisy, someone should go shut her up. Not it! Oh yeah, the only one who can hear my thoughts is the half-dead woman on bottles... "W-Where's Alfred? His crib is burnt and his whole room is burnt as well! Where is he?"
Oh, yeah, I burnt my crib. Well, at least I got alcohol. So, time to binge-drink again! I wonder how much bottles I'll use up this time!
"The wine cellar is unlocked, quickly, the culprit could still be in there!" Oh, that sounds like my uncle-I mean father. I'm not sure if he's both or one of them at this point.
Oh, but wait! What if they discover that I'm down here in the cellar with all these bottles? They'll prevent me from going anywhere near it and even shut it off! MY ENTIRE LIFE RIDES ON WHAT I DO NEXT!
Advertisement
I've got to consult my skills! Since I have no other useful method of dealing with any of this shit!
Skill Rankings:SkillsAverage class:Uncommon class:Rare class:Wine generationMega Rare class:Legendary class:Bottomless DigestionDeity class:Embody Flaryvna, Flaryvna's Fury, WildfireUnrankable:Ultimatium Moves
Ah, screw it, I have wine generation, I don't give a rat's arse if I get caught now. I can be drunk for god damn years! And I don't even have to do shit! If 10 Luck is what makes me so damn lucky, I'll take it! Heck, I'll even go up to my parents drunk because I want to rub it in their faces!
Now let's do this!
Wine generation... GO!
I repeated the same way I tried for the fire except instead of my finger, I used both of my hands with wine! It goddamn worked! Too well.
Instead of spraying in a controlled area, it produced so much force that I couldn't control it and went everywhere, so I had to stop using it and made even more of a damn mess that before! Now that is an accomplishment, this much mess in so little time!
"Show your-Alfred?" I looked towards my father who wore some really fancy clothing, it's like a suit with so much colours! Is he on drugs? Am I on drugs? Is my wine filled with LSD? "What's with all the wine...?"
"ALFRED?" I heard the loud roar of what sounded like the thing called 'Mother', so I braced myself for its strong attack at me! She came down into the cellar and only paid attention to me. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just a baby you're suffocating to death, thanks mother. "Oh, I'm so glad you're okay! What happened? Did you see who did all of this?"
Yes, ask the baby who cannot talk. Great job fuck-face. I'm sure my parents are siblings now, there cannot be such idiocy which is not inbred.
"I think I know what the culprit's motives were." My father so suddenly says, he thinks he has it all figured out! If he guesses that the baby drank the alcohol, I'm giving him a medal. "With all the wine split and the bottles piled and Al's crib burnt, they clearly wanted Alfred dead. Not to mention burn down our manor."
Oh, so it is a manor, who would've thunk? Oh, the more pressing issue is the fact that my dad is a paranoid twat... or I'm too good at trying to kill myself. Well, I've got alcohol, so I'm not going to die for any reason soon.
Advertisement
"It seems so, so is the culprit human?" Wait, what? No, this cannot be correct! If my mother is asking if the culprit is human it can either have two explanations:
1.She thinks a human from the inside of the kingdom is trying to kill us and is betraying us and she wants to confirm it.
2.We're not human and they're our enemies and they are trying to kill us. A spy infiltrated and attempted to assassinate everyone. Or so it seems... which none of the aforementioned happened.
"It's possible... to think their espionage would end up this deep!" Father was worried, he even did that classic thing that characters always do when they think of something that has to do with not letting something happen or doing something about something...
I think I'm still slightly drunk.
Oh, what's going on? Did you die? What have you done? How could you? After all I've-
Please, Flare, shut up. Your entire existence is based on the desire for purpose and is just a mere contradiction of how the actual universe functions. Now, explain one thing to me: am I human?
You should be, right? Your status always says so. There's no real reason to suspect otherwise.
You say that now, but why are my parents talking about the situation of the hypothetical assassin who is myself might I add, like he's an outlaw when he's human? They clearly aren't familiar with it and if they weren't human... it would explain the recessive genes and therefore why they're not brother and sister.
Well, if that's the case, then there's two possibilities of what your species actually is.
The first is a royal-elf, a species which is greater than high-elves, but the thing is... brother and sister stuff, so yeah... they tend to transition into their species at a later age.
The second one is a dragon, who tend to develop their abilities and physiology a few years after they are born.
...
It's the first one, isn't it?
It's the first one by the look of things. Your parents have the genes of elves, you're human despite your parents being elves and you guessed the incest...
Whoo! Right about my parents being siblings from a guess! Now that's a good achievement! Oh, yeah... they're still inbred and so am I.
This doesn't sound as pleasant as the achievement.
Okay, so my parents decided that apparently, the manor was too unsafe for me. Or should I say incestuous parents decided that? Since at this point it's kind of clear they were sis and bro before they were man and wife. So, they sent me to the next best thing! A fucking... military academy?
Okay, I think I'm missing something here. I'm clearly misunderstanding something. Either they are planning on sending me into the academy to protect me or are trying to make me able to protect myself... from myself.
So, this is a mental institution.
Wait, your parents sent you to a mental asylum? They realised your depressing thoughts and your attitude was just lunacy?
Flare, please shut up. You're missing something obvious.
I'm a child who is a day old. What the fuck am I going to learn at a military academy? I can run now, due to your fancy wildfire skill but I'm still a fucking child.
Aren't you over thinking? What if they are just protecting the entire family? They're with you, so it's possible that they have a plan B if there's any form of danger. The military academy could have some great defense!
Flare, it's an academy filled with people learning to kill, they're quite obviously better at defense. I just have no idea why they don't have an end of the world bunker sort of thing.
What if it's in the academy?
Too far, if the end of world was going to happen, they would want it close. So, there's two options to why they chose this place as far as I'm concerned.
They are...?
Either, it's because they're royal-elves and are in a higher place therefore they choose this place as refuge since it's filled with a lot of expendable servants who can fight well.
Or, one of my parents worked here before and is coming back here because they're well known in some way.
I'm going to guess number two.
Good guess, now let's see what shit these people have in store...
A/N:
Thanks to superdbgtfan for pointing out a few errors I ignored! And for also suggesting a new way to organise how Flare speaks to the protagonist. :P.
[th_084_.gif]
Advertisement
The Aria Chronicles
A Car crash later Luna finds herself in a completly different world, a world full of magic and myths. A world where monsters raged and Bloodlines ruled, experience the wonderful adventures of luna in the magical world of Aria. Pledge to Patreon to read more than 20 Advanced Chapters. Patreon link: Patreon.com/theariachronicles
8 83The New World Beyond The Gate
Ares is a planet in the leviathan solar system and there exist 3 main continents which are conquered by the respective nations: The Imperial Republic in the northThe Confederation of Amazonia in the eastThe United Federation of Wilhelmshaven in the west Conflict looms in the background between the three respective nations and the Imperial Republic which has its natural resources running dry decided to focus its remaining resources on technological breakthroughs. Then at last they had broken through they were able to open up a gate towards a new world! Sir Edward is tasked to lead the expeditionary force and establish connections through the other side of the gate whether it be through war or diplomacy, he must be able to procure enough resources to fill up the drying banks of resources of their nation to be able to face the coming conflicts upon them. Read Now! To find out the fate of the Republic and the fate of the expeditionary force in the new world! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will also be posting this novel at Webnovel please also follow me there too, thank youuu https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/19721734305042605?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4316346076 Release rate will be on Tuesday and Thursday. Ps: Background Picture is not mine credits to its owner, just found it on a free site. The edit is mine
8 147Unknown Fate's End
The ancient's believed that a man's fate or destiny is written already, and that only God or maybe the Gods could change it. If they did change it, it was believed it was for a purpose unknown to that man or for maybe for the ammusement of those higher beings. However, whether that is true or not, one thing is for certain. Changing a man's fate will create a ripple of changes. Join our hero, who whether by luck, by some divine intervention, or by his own choice, separated from the fate that he shared with his fellow earthlings. Watch him struggle in his new world. Watch him grow. Watch him learn. Watch him walk a path oustside what destiny has for him. FYI: The magic concept in this story is high fantasy with involvement of polytheistic religions and demons. There will be a mix of GameLit style writing mixed with traditional magic novel style writing. The plot developement will be slow in the first volume, as I will focus on world building and character building. The main character will not be OP immediately and will develop into one in his own way over time. This series is built less like modern Japanese, Korean, and Chinese webnovels and more like the old school fanstasy novels like DND and Forgotten Realms.
8 84This project has no purpose
Summary: This is the story about the life of a "human" amidst a world that only appears to be earth at first glance. Long ago the face of this world resembled the typical tales of yore; of knights and fairies, swords and magic, however such an era has come and gone. Even the world of fantasy has progressed steadily into the modern epoch filled with the wonders of science and technology! In the ancient times a certain crisis had occured that lead to the quick decline of various magical species. Due to their low population and general incompatibility with the other races they could not crossbreed to save their numbers. Left with no other choice the major races of the world gathered together in an attempt to change the fate of this dying world. Their only hope was a special 'world-tier' magic known as 'the dusk of harmony'. The result of this magic would dissolve every race into their purest essences known as 'aspect' and instill them within the human population. The humans were the best choice as their numbers were numerous and form was similar to most races. As such, the various races of this world managed to save themselves in essence and soul only, though perhaps there was no other choice. With the various humans now carrying the weight and aspects of those who came before, life has continued onto the modern age. Yet, even amongst these hybrids 'Pures' emerge from time to time, beings who have inherited not only aspects of the ancient races, but their forms too. These Pures are often times exceptionally talented and seen as near deities. This is the story of a perculiar boy who is born with the soul of a stranger from the world known as 'Earth'. With the memories and soul of a human, he too is a rare Pure; a pure human. --- This project literally has no purpose and is being written because I felt like it. There isn't any semblance of a solid direction nor have I thought about any characters aside from the main character and a few auxiliary cast. If you would like to contribute to building this world with me then please contact me through a DM or by leaving a comment, I will be sure to credit you.
8 118Forbidden Magic
Bell, a girl who wants to learn forbidden magic and use it for her loved one to bring back to life.
8 61The Belly Games
The Belly Games are an annual competition held in a private island. 24 people are chosen to participate each year , 12 being men and 12 women. This year I've been chosen to participate. Can't say that I'm not nervous as I've heard many stories. Guess I'll have to see for myself. My name is Michaela , I'll see you in the belly games😏
8 102