Hey, Al! Actually, I have no idea what to call you. Hey, can you stop falling asleep whenever I have something important to tell you? Pleaseeee? I actually have something very important to tell you!

You see, Flare, whenever I go to sleep, I don't give a shit if I'm in a prison being tortured or if a goddess who can't handle a drink has something urgent to tell me. So, if you could, shut fuck up, I would gladly be your friend. Actually, knowing you, I wouldn't even be your friend.

Can't you be nice for a second? Anyways, it seems the wildfire has gotten some important tools for you! It is the next step into becoming awesome!

Yes, I know I've grown teeth but you know already that I don't intend to use bottomless digestion in any way aside from drinking myself till I piss my pants. So, if that's the only important shit you got, then I'm heading back to sleep.

You look like a two year old.

Oh, so I basically grew physically into two years within the matter of 48 hours, huh? So is every day from now on going to be a year for me? Am I going to be a 30 year old by the end of the month? If so, that's actually pretty decent since I can have fun drinking and die pretty easily.

B-But, aren't you going to do anything? I know for a fact that you can do some weird things like kill a demon lord or something or marry a princess... or even... oh yeah... I forget what you're like at times.

Why the hell would I go to a demon lord or even a princess? Do they have unique wine cellars or something? Cause I'm pretty sure my parents already had a lot of shit which is royal enough for me.

Actually, if you're interested in wine so much, here, let me show you something.

A blue screen appeared before me again and within it was the description of the wine generation.

Wine Generation-Max:

The ability to generate wine,

or any form of alcohol whatsoever.

From anywhere on your body... (ᗒωᗕ)

However, what alcohol you generate is

determined by what alcohol you have

drank before.

Current Alcohols:

Royal elven wine

Elven wine

Elven beer

Elven rum

Elven vodka

Holy shit! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THIS IS LEGENDARY! FUCK EVERYTHING, I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING AMAZING!

I looked around to find out where I was, it was definitely dark, but I could faintly make the room. The walls were different, they had some white plaster instead of the lazy architect design... actually this is more lazy. There were a lot of bookshelves, I'm starting to think I'm in a library.

And, I'm in a crib again, whoo! That's a fucking annoying discovery.

Oh well!

I stood up, in one of the most comfortable suits I've ever been in, it's awesome, if I had the dragon with fur instead scales transformation, this would be second-rate! Oh, it's a onesie, just realised that.

I turned to my left, to see a mirror on a desk nearby, it's probably where some woman would do her make-up since there's a lot of make-up there! I lit my index finger on fire and walked normally over there, waddling became a bit too weird.

And... I look like an inbred shit.

My hair is taken after my mother's which is odd, it's quite flat and is still very green, so are my eyes... I sort of look like Daenerys from game of thrones in terms of inbreeding looks. Really pretty, probably a lot of rule 34 floating around somewhere and definitely inbred.

I haven't watched game of thrones, that's the only character I know.

"Well, this is creepy. Midget, show me my status." I demand from Flare.

Name: Alfred RathmoreSpecies: Flaryvna Incarnate(Natural species is negated)Age: Not even a yearStatus: NormalLevel: 1Titles: Incarnate of Flaryvna, Depressant of Gods, Faithlessness, Goddess of WineSTR: 5INT: 70WIS: 100END: 10DEX: 10LUK: 10

"Whoa..." Flare once again appeared besides me, this time she spoke aloud. "Your status grew so much in so little time! This must be the effects of wildfire!"

"What do you mean grew so much? I think I have the most shittest status I have seen in my entire life." I groaned at her, she shook her head.

"This doesn't work like it does in games, in this world the average status of a normal male human is 20. You Intelligence and Wisdom are adamant. I haven't even seen elves grow this fast." Flare seemed to be excited about all of this, which is expected from her at this point.

"Well, before I point out what I wanted to, show me the descriptions of Depressant of Gods and Faithlessness." I once again demanded from her, she complied.

Depressant of Gods:

Are you serious? You really made

the gods depressed? What are you

some pessimist who doesn't believe

in anything?

Oh, you are?

Well, this title was especially created

for Ewan when he made Flaryvn cry for

pointing out that there is no meaning

or point in anything and calling her

an insignificant little shit.

Are you happy, Ewan? Oh, shit, you are,

aren't you?

This title negates all interferences of

Gods and Goddesses without your

approval. Also, because you wouldn't

mind dying your H.P was removed.

You depressing cunt.

Faithlessness:

Oh, look everyone, it's

Ewan again with his

depressing attitude and

annoying words. Seriously,

you are like the number one

asshole.

I'll stop, since this is probably doing

nothing to you anyway.

Ewan, you don't believe in anything,

you strictly believed that you can

explain things via science and math

and anything else is just stupid

delusions.

Because of your cynical nature,

you don't require any M.P, you

can use any magic or powers or

whatever you want to call them,

freely.

Also, the power of Deities has no effect

on you.

...

"Flare did you write this?" I asked her, it was certainly a very asshole move to write it but nevertheless if she did write it then she's got some balls. "If my H.P is removed does that mean I won't die?"

"N-No! I didn't write it, I wouldn't write anything like that!" Flare was eager to defend herself, I'm quite certain she did write it now. "Your H.P isn't displayed, since you have no qualms about dying it was considered irrelevant for you to even have H.P since you don't care about your own life."

"Flare, really? If you wrote it at least admit it, besides our relationship ain't going to be any different if you did write it." Now that I think about it... is our relationship a drunkard and a midget who is neurotic?

If you want to confirm our relationship, we could just ask the blue box. It can efficiently examine our relationship and tell us what it is based on its results.

Oh, I keep forgetting that we can talk via telepathy, so if that's the case... Flare, make the box tell us what it thinks of our relationship!

Fine...

Examining...

Is this a loading screen? Does your screen have a loading screen?

Hey, if you want it to be accurate, then you have to wait!

Examination complete.

Relationship between

Flaryvna and Ewan/Alfred:

Codependent

...

...

I was actually going to doubt it and argue that it's completely wrong but when I look at our relationship up until this point, we really appear codependent.

Actually... you have a good point. And us being aware of this isn't going to stop it, is it?

No, no it is not. Anyways, with all that out of the way, I can finally tell you my master plan! The idea to do everything!

The idea to... pass time.

Okay... what is your totally amazing idea which encompasses everything? Everything like devils, she-devils, rip-offs, dragons and inappropriate things.

Okay, first of all, that was a metaphor. It's mostly going to give us something interesting to do. Do you know what that idea is?

Is it to travel the world and do all you can do drink all the wines in existence so you can have the greatest Wine Generation skill and to get drunk on every single alcohol simultaneously?

Wow, that was actually accurate, it was spot-on. Nice job, Flare.

I think I have gotten to know you too well... I don't feel proud of it.

Really? You're my ego, act like it. Now, let's get this started!

Let's drink every alcohol there is in the world!

Yay! We are finally going to do some adventuring!

Now I just have to eat the crib.

A/N:

Welp, they're codependent, that's an interesting relationship. :P

And the journey to drink all alcohols in existence... BEGINS!

Oh and thanks for reading. [th_117_.gif]