《Reality Grants One Chance》Chapter 29: Murky eyes

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I could feel myself being moved, sharp mandibles digging right into my skin. The back of my head was being dragged over the sand and stones on the ground, making it sound like the rubbing of sandpaper over. My long messy hair acted as a mop and collected a whole bunch stones and moss-like material along the way.. Somehow, I wasn't being dragged towards the exit from the cave, but, on the contrary, to the far wall - where the new "hosts" were positioned. Slight anxiety faded just to allow for another wave of worry wash over me..

The wasp started rotating my body and laying me down beside the live toaders, placing my arms along my body, as they've got stuck in some weird position when it was rolling me towards the wall. It was careful not to break anything.. destroying my body seemed to be the privilege of the young larva... Then the wasp simply left me alone and gone cleaning up the mess larva left after themselves, leaving towards the other part of the cave.

I closed my eyes for a second calming myself down, then opened them right away.. Slight surprise was reflected in my eyes.. I repeated the process of closing and opening my eyes a few extra times.. just to make sure that what I was seeing was real. As for what I saw .. well.. something unreal and crazy.. The whole black substance inside of my body thing.. I could tell it was there, not even that - I could see the amorphous mass inside of me... though I couldn't grasp its size..

My brain didn't process it.. even though it was "inside" of the body.. it didn't have definite size - it was like peeking through a screen.. looking at an object without any measure of scale... It could be an ant-sized mountain, or a mountain-sized ant.. bizarre and strange.. though it was certainly there.. right inside of my chest, a curled up ball of black string..with black liquid swirling inside of it..

" Ok.. if that's not magic.. call me Lucy.. " - I was utterly confused, somewhat agitated .. but mostly - curious. I looked at the same spot with my eyes open.. even though I couldn't see it when looking directly, there was still the same sort of a radiant outline.. like a highlight that I could notice with the corner of my eye. I couldn't stop "looking" at its movements, slow and flowing - it was mesmerizing. My curiosity got the best of me and made me try to look a the toads to the left.. well.. not at them.. away from them unfocusing my vision, trying to notice the outline. Which worked.. in the spot where my vision became blurry, I saw something similar to what was inside of my chest..

Though - I soon figured out that you can just relax your eyes, making your vision blurry - which allows you to look straight and still see the contrast of light and dark that outlines the black swirling mass.

"They've had the same thing inside of them as me.." - Same - not the exact word that should have been used. Where their swirlies looked like they were a bundle of snakes made of smoke, mine felt like a few strings tied into a knot .. that's where my mind started coming up with different sorts of ideas.. well, rather tried different concepts - looking for something that could match.. something that could provide even a semblance of an explanation.. Souls, humanity, exp, anything.. first things that popped into my mind really... Next was mana - of course it wasn't the cliche blue color...I wasn't judging though.

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"Ok.. So.. is this IT?" - I somehow got my hopes up, thinking that this could very well be the "ability", the "skill" that would change everything.. well.. if you forget the fact that I'm a cheaper and less funny version of Mr.Pool.. Even though I didn't bleed to death from being turned into worm food, my fingers didn't grow back ..

The issue.. the main issue.. the most damned obvious main issue.. still remained.. I was laying on the damp and warm stone floor, unable to move nearly anything.. even though I COULD breathe. That - was somehow strange.. before - the only thing that I could control were the eyes. I couldn't really understand it completely, however I had some ideas.. which unfortunately had to wait..

...it was feeding time..

"I didn't even have enough time to miss you.." - I was looking in the darkness at the figure of a giant wasp - which seemed contoured right over the pitch dark fog. It was so full of the.. inky stuff.. that the highlight it radiated was easily seen. In comparison to the toader.. it seemed so much more.. deeper.. darker.. bigger.. even without exact measurements this much was really obvious. I really have to get my synonym game up, ninety percent of what I was able to make out in this cave void of light, was ..black.

The sharp claws made their way to my mouth.. and once again.. the dreadful event happened all over.. in the exact same fashion... Disgust, pain, pleasure.. and before I could think of a way to escape, for a way to more.. it would repeat itself..

Again..

And again..

And again..

...

My bloodshot eyes were looking at the stone ceiling.. I wasn't sleeping any more, not for a while anyway.. It was sixteen feeding cycles so far.. even though I thought that the wasps would figure something out and dispose of the thing that was killing their young.. they fucking didn't.. which made me angry, not just angry.. I hated them with all my soul - or something like that, I couldn't tell of I was mad or simply grumpy. The wasps were mind-rapingly retarded.. thoughtless creatures working on pure instinct, meaning they do what they usually do.. over and fucking over again.. Inbred shit-brain bastard.. I am killing off everything you put in me! Notice it already! You use the same host over and over again, dispose of the trash or something.. the wasps were persistent as all hell.. or they thought I was a fresh body every time.

I hated the toads for dying so easily.. they were lucky that their suffering ended within a few hours.. Leaving me there waiting for the wasps to move my body to an empty spot, clean up and start laying eggs inside my stomach once more... I doubted that my mind was intact at this point, whispers turned to murmurs and faded into nothingness... whispers which were the only thing accompanying me in the silence.. I was truly getting lonely..

What's worse.. even though there was so much hope for the black swirly thing inside me.. nothing changed.. not a single damn thing.. The swirlies inside of toads seemed as pathetic, the swirlies in the wasps were as menacing, my own.. Didn't change at all.. though with all the looking at them.. I finally figured it out, the reason my lungs were under my own control.. It was where the swirlies floated, a lot of them actually..

As I thought of breathing, even without an audible thought, the movement changed, making my body obey and move along.. Yep, I wasn't controlling my body.. I was in fact completely paralyzed from head to toe.. Its just that I've been "breathing" consciously because of the black thing inside.. The same went for my eyes.. and considering just how much time had passed from the moment I was stung.. I guessed the damage was permanent.. of course.. there was the possibility of me figuring out how to make my body move using the swirly-swirl.. though that had to wait until after the "dinner" to think again.

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"Hello there" - I stared right into the eyes of the wasp, in my mind I was cheerfully smiling as I greeted the creature. I really wanted to burn every single one of them, rip them apart and exterminate each specimen of their kin, from the tiniest egg to the last feeder.. and this particular one, I'd crush inch by inch - making sure it survived long enough to see me feast on its insides.. just to make a point you know.. Small droplets of sweat were sliding down my forehead, along the patchy beard and over my neck. Despite my hatred for the creatures, that tortured me to the point I started doubting my own sanity, I could do utterly nothing.. well..almost - I focused on every other sensation other than the bitter-sweet taste and the feeling of the giant insect tongue waving around in my mouth and throat.. ignoring the feeling of these living marbles going down my esophagus..

"And again.. you're a sloppy kisser" ..

...

I didn't notice when I drifted into sleep, time had little power over me.. if I had to guess, I'd say I was awake for quite long.. I think it was when the number of feeding cycles climbed over the twenties that my mind gave out and decided to shut down. Oh the sleep, it was so good to be out of that damp warm cave filled to the brim with death and decay..

I was laying on the charred ground within the dream, it was dry and dusty.. here my body was still able to move, unlike in reality, so I sat up - staring at the dark swirling sun. I looked pathetic, on the verge of giving up..I touched my face, feeling the dry, cracked skin, the blackish swollen eyes, that looked as if I colored them with pur-map.. my half-dead eyes showed little but the hate, my expressions could change.. but the eyes.. they showed that I understood the rules..

The tendrils in the sky were fear-inducing.. Just as the insects that had been menacing, the sun seemed to get a deeper feeling to it.. really, why would it even get even more overwhelming than it was.. It was truly making me feel afraid for some reason... a simple fear..

".. please.." - I stared at the thing in the sky, pleading, begging in my thoughts. Somehow, this hulking giant blob in the sky.. was the only thing that I could ask for anything..

" HELP ME! Anything.. the very smallest thing.. " - I shouted, straining my throat inside of the dream, thundering the words..I was rather quiet compared to the usual sound of the "star".. My scream turned into a barely audible whisper at the end of the phrase - fading into silence just as abruptly, getting lost in the nothingness.. however, a change occurred.. it began to rain.. Inside of this black space it began to rain.. droplets, which looked like someone was splashing ink, landed on my face, landed on the ground.. and... I woke up.

I could feel the slight difference immediately.. No, I didn't simply jump up and rush the hell away from the hive.. I felt the burning feeling spreading over my chest, small needles piercing and charring me inside-out. I looked at the swirling mass inside of my chest, there could really be no other perpetrator. Even though it still looked as pathetic as before, I could tell the difference.. there was more of the black string-like tendrils, which was something I wasn't able to feel from the swirling mass of other creatures.. I could feel it reach somewhere else, as if a tube was going right from it.. somewhere. It could be going into the dream, it could go anywhere for all I cared.. An umbilical cord connecting real and unreal... I only felt it because.. drop by drop.. the dark matter was dripping into the thin coil which I was able to see...

The swirling mass seemed to stretch, as if something was pushing on it from the inside...then it slowly started to produce smoke. Light and nearly transparent, like diluted gray paint flowing in a glass of water..the smoke clouded around the tendril covered clump of darkness - increasing in volume.. spreading over my whole body.. I didn't like how it was going, nor the feeling... The smoke hurt, and not a little bit.. It was burning like all hell, feeling like acid running though my body. I didn't withstand it, in my mind I was yelling it to stop. The feeling was so much worse than the larva eating though my flesh, or chomping on my insides..

I stopped it similarly to how you stop coughing.. forcing myself to hold it in.. I really don't get how it worked out like that.. but it did.. and just as coughing - every spasm of the string-like clump in my chest made me exhale some tiny speck of smoke as I failed to hold it in. With it fuming out, pain rushed through.. dissolving and fading over the next few seconds.

"This.. this is new.." - I was panting, sweating all over, trying to get used to the feeling of holding IT in. I could tell that it wasn't just me or the toads.. everything around emanated a slight black glow.. like it was thinly painted with the glow.. Despite the pain.. this was the seeming light and the possible chance.

"If this isn't mana.. call me Ann.." - I've regained my composure..closing the heavy eyelids for a moment.. the whole new hope made my mood a lot better. Though the feeling of wasps claws on my face worsened the whole deal.. Another cycle..again.

...

It took me three "feeding" cycles to figure out where to begin with this mana thing... For one - I could hold it inside, letting it swirl inside of the thin tangled up strings. I could also release it, making my body hurt from the worst burning sensation ever.. But all that wasn't of that much help.. I've already had enough sources of pain, but I kept releasing and stopping the flow.. getting used to the sensations, as well as trying to figure the mana out - understand how it works. For one, it was like discovering a new sense.. yep.. I could "touch" myself when releasing the smoke.. not with the smoke itself, but with something else radiating from it..

"It's all just too complicated.." - It was indeed. All of the new feelings combined, they provided so much information, that I couldn't process it properly. I felt retarded - it was like jumping into a game with impossibly complicated controls, without any clue whatsoever what or how to do anything.

...

It took me five more cycles to understand something rather important. I looked at the tangled strings of darkness in my chest, looked at them for hours and hours, as I was fed, or torn from the inside by the wriggling baby wasps - my eyes, closed or opened weren't looking away, anxious to miss any smallest detail.. I've seen the wriggle of the tiny, nearly invisible tentacles towards the larva that have died inside of me. I've seen them being consumed as pure pleasure was going through my whole body.. then, they dissolved.. I didn't get the whole pleasure ordeal, but pleasure was a good incentive to go on doing whatever you were doing.. or it was a trap.. who knows..

"The small tentacles that appear.. for some reason, unlike the swirly swirls.. they disappear.. and there must certainly be a reason for that." - That's what had been on my mind for the whole time. There had to be a trick to why the strings were still right there.

When I finally noticed that the strings were emanating the smallest amounts of smoke, barely visible.. Miniscule as the amount was - it was what kept the strings there.. And no matter how I tried - that wasn't something I'd be able to stop with force of will, well.. rather I wasn't able to.. even for the sake of experiment. I was getting closer to the answers, and prayed that fate would allow me to get them before fucking me up once again. A few more cycles, all that I asked for.. Indeed I was waiting for something worse to happen any moment..

And..

It didn't.. Nothing worse happened for the next three feeding cycles... I was alive and my progress was making me even more worried and anxious.

...

During the feeding time for the larva, or rather.. during the feeding time for me.. I've seen the thin tendrils move, branch out and start growing toward the "food". As it happened, I kept pouring more smoke out, which kept the tendrils intact even after the larva were consumed completely.. not only the larva, but the thin tentacles were wrapped around my stomach as a net, sucking the dark glow right out of the honey which filled me to the brim.

Of course I didn't know how to control my stomach, and the whole array of string-like tentacles reaching from my chest downwards would be wasted.. if I didn't come up with the most ridiculous idea that actually worked.. somewhat..

I already knew that I could open up the "tap" or close it. That was what I've been doing this whole time, duh. However, I tried to make the smoke fume out of a particular spot, from a particular side. You can see where it is going. I was using the jet-like bursts of "smoke" to move the thin and long tendrils.. Idea seems easy, though there's a couple of issues there.. for one - the smoke itself hurt like crazy.. all other three reasons are the same as first one.. a jet of smoke is nearly enough to make me scream.

"Why does everything has to hurt like a bitch?" - My panting was getting harder as I've been pulling and spreading the strings around. If only I knew that I'd ultimately come to a dead end.. as when I've been able to make an elliptical sphere netting from my chest to my stomach..

I couldn't pull the tendrils further..It simply didn't work.. they just refused to move any further. All of this effort was wasted.. as I've noticed the net I've been building start dissolving even despite the thin smoke I've been pushing into it.. I was left right where I was before..

I was on the edge, and I exploded in anger.. I've made all of the smoke just rush out, like an almost clear mist filling every crevice of my body, allowing it to do whatever the hell it was going to do as I yelled angrily inside my mind. I could feel the thin smoke move through me, burning, making every muscle ache, making every cell scream. I was trying to thrash, trying to move with all my strength to no success. My mind was enraged, and I yelled at my own body to move.. I yelled at the smoke to do something.. I yelled at myself to move even a finger ..

..

I stopped abruptly.. I felt my nail scratch on the rock below it and break a nail off, causing blood to slowly pour out.. sharp pain attracted my attention immediately.

...

It hit me like a truck.. It was really that easy? My body ached, but I kept letting the thin smoke out.. going for a couple of minutes as I tried to command it once more. It didn't work though.. I calmed my breath and tried to do the same to my mind, still agitated from the anger outburst. I thought of my body as it was in the dream.. I didn't think of lifting a finger there, I didn't try to lift a finger .. I just did.

I felt like something pulled on the smoke as my finger lifted..completely in unison with the intent.

"So that's how it is.." - It wasn't my mind directly moving my body.. nor was it my mind directly making the smoke move.. the mental image of myself, my imaginary dream form.. my consciousness.. call it what ever the fuck you want. I moved with it, and as if there were strings attached from it to the smoke in my body.. the body followed.. Think of the body as of a puppet and yourself as a puppeteer...

I lifted my hand, feeling it tremble a bit.. I felt quite weak, but.. but it moved! Despite the pain, I was happy! I was able to move my hand.. no.. all of my body. Everything that I've had smoke in.. It was hard though.. My body seemed heavy and slugglish - as if I was too small and weak to pull my own body. Every movement was really slow and straining.. I was out of breath in just a few moments.. However, I finally figured out that emitting the smallest specks of thin smoke was enough for me to pull on, in order to move. There was no doubt, that, with time, I would be able to regain control over my body.. eventually..

I forced the smoke back, closing the "tap" and sealing it inside of the strings. Only the small specks of blackish smoke were radiating from the strings, like a slight glow of darkness. It was a strange sight.. well, I didn't have the time to appreciate it.. The wasps rushed in, pushing themselves into the cave with a slight buzz. They began their usual checking of the "hosts", moving the corpses out of the cave - probably either eating the remains, or dumping them somewhere.

Right now it was dinner time.. once more. Another wasp arrived moments later and went on to feed the bodies, me being one of them... buzzing faded into the distance as my mind was filled with the wet sound of the wasp pushing its tongue into my throat and heavy feeling of the wasp caviar going into my stomach along with the honey.. I was barely able to move even a hand, I had to wait.. learn to walk, and then.. then I'm going to make my escape..

...

The black plains of my dream had changed the way they looked.. It was still raining.. well - the small drizzle of occasional black drops could be considered a rain.. Main point - ashen ground became muddy, like someone spilled a whole tanker of oil over the area. It covered my soles, stretching and clinging to my feet - as if the black liquid tried to climb.. There were more and more facts pointing out the connection between the dream and real world.. Truth - that I didn't have.. assumptions - yes, not truth.

"Give me some more!" - I raised my voice, hearing it echoing through the empty planes.. odd considering the sound had nowhere to bounce off of.. Though that's not the point.. the rain became stronger for a brief moment, as if the sun responded to my request without a moment of hesitation.. I was grateful - mostly because I thought that with more mana going through the body, I'd be able to achieve my goal sooner.

Covered in the black sludge, I stood with my face looking up into the gray sky, unblinking as I listened to the whispers spreading right into my mind, I felt the whispers dig into my skin and move right through my body, flowing deep inside of my very core.

...

You could think that once I regained any semblance of an ability to move, I'd crawl right out and live happily ever after.. but truth be told, it wasn't all that simple and easy.. I remained at the same cave for god only knows how many days, even after learning that I am able to move my body using the smoke of mana.

After the feeder wasp left once more, and I was somewhat alone, not counting the toaders about to become worm food, I tried standing up. Somehow, my wobbling feet were able to hold me standing as I pulled my body up.. my movements were unbearably slow and what didn't help - was the amount of strength it sucked out of me just to keep such movement up. It was like trying to move with heavy weights on each limb. I had time, hours for myself.. I knew that much after the time I've spent in this system.

Holding myself straight by holding to the wall, I've stood half bent, near a toader as my arm reached towards my mouth. Of course, now that I've gotten used to the disgusting tongue of the wasp waving around while jammed into my throat, it had been really hard to make myself throw up manually. I managed to do so with some persistence.. Round marbles of the wasp eggs littered the floor along with the sticky bitter-sweet honey..

"Fuck you.." - My wobbling foot landed on the round surface of the eggs, squashing them, spreading the sticky insides of the larva over the floor. It was the first cycle that I've skipped.. I wasn't going to allow these creatures to torment me and eat on my insides.. The fingers on my left arm twitched occasionally..

For the first time in.. however long I've been in this cave.. I've stepped out of it, having made my way to the exit on the shaky legs, which were barely able to hold my own weight.

...

I've peeked over the edge of the cave... I regretted it.. my whole body stiffened as I looked up, down and back up again... I was standing on a stone edge, and wherever I looked, it was the same picture all over... A giant sphere with small openings in it, an even bigger cave system.. somewhere up above was a single light opening.. and I had literally zero possibility to climb up to exit through it.. Dozens and dozens of wasps moved around this complex maze, my feet nearly lost all the strength...

"H.. how am I supposed to leave?" - I could try to scale the wall, risking to fall from great heights and break every single bone, making a nice splat on the stones below.. And the wasps were never going to let me simply climb unobstructed.. There was no way to reach the top of the cave, but I already couldn't stand being here.. I looked at the moving swarm below me, seeing them drag some toads and lizards somewhere, probably to lay even more eggs.. for a moment I thought about jumping down, head down... at least such a death would be on my own terms..

I didn't - I went back into the cave which was my home already.. moving along the wall, I've studied the interior of the cave, looking for anything, any way out.. My fingers brushed a layer of long yellowish strands of moss-like material out of the way, uncovering a crack in the wall. Pulling my body up and into the crack was a rather hard task, which left me breathless as I've started to crawl through the crack.. inch by inch - moving through the narrow space, until it started to grow.. Soon I've been able to sit up, ten or so meters inside of the wall.. before me was a dead end.. a small open pocket inside the wall, with small cracks lining the gray stone floor, walls and the ceiling.. It looked like it could all come down on me at any moment..

It seemed safe for now, which was good enough for me.. a tiny safe haven. Even in this situation I didn't feel completely desperate.. I wasn't going to give up .. if I wanted to, I'd jump from the ledge and pancake myself all over the bottom of the cave.. Right now there was no need for fear.. the only thing I needed- was sleep. My heavy eyelids closed, making me flow right into the dream...

...

As usual, I stood there alone, looking at the black swirling mass of darkness in the sky.. The black sun made me tremble from the inside, it made me afraid.. but why?

Why was I afraid of the sun? It didn't do anything to intimidate me. It didn't hurt me did it? It wasn't even that scary to begin with.. So then, why was I afraid of it?

"If you think of it.. I.. made myself move a finger.. when I wanted to move it a little.. Indeed it moved a little.. I wanted the tiniest amount of help from you.." - My eyes were burning with determination, I would go against the fear.. simple as that.. - "I wanted it and you gave it to me.. or did I simply take it?"

My right arm stretched in front of my eyes, covering the black wriggling gigantic mass in the sky.

Then I closed my fist.. feeling the wriggling tentacles brush against my skin.. the small sphere didn't hurt, it was just that - a tiny clump of dark tentacles that emanated a feeling of fear and dread.. It was almost enough to make me laugh.. just the thought that this tiny shrimp seemed to be a gigantic black sun, roaring in the sky.. What was roars and eerie whispers, became just silent and obedient squeaking..

It wasn't a sun, wasn't a god.. it was the black energy that took my fear and molded itself using it.. Now.. now I was in control of it.. No.. the black glob was me. Not some demonic entity eager to take control of me... it was simply me.. My grip tightened as I felt the tentacles dissolve under my grasp.

There was no more black sun in the sky, just a light-gray sky and black muddy ground as far as eyes could see.

I felt heat inside of my chest, warm pleasant sensation - like a second heartbeat. I knew something was happening, so I decided to wake up and take a look what was going on..

...

The dark strands inside of my chest broke down, exploding like a balloon. Making the black ink swirl inside of me the same within the toads, the same as the wasps - rushing and pulsing with smoke.. Waving rapidly as it changed its shape, seemingly looking for a suitable form. There was no pain any-more.. just the slight tingling sensation inside.. at first the flow looked random and uneven, but steadily it began moving a lot calmer.

My thoughts and observations were interrupted by a loud sound.. my body reacted immediately by starting to tremble slightly and sending a chill down my spine..

I've heard the wasp buzz suddenly towards the wall - angrily clacking its mandibles, it was agitated, even furious for some reason. I've seen the black smoke spread even out of its body, as the steady flow of mana in its upper segment of the torso began expanding and pulsating - like a heart beating rapidly. The claws began to scratch on the stone fissure in the wall, trying to get deeper.. I could hear the small pieces being torn out.. It took me a few seconds to realize it was coming after me, it noticed ME..

"It sees me..NOW?" - There was no way to tell I was inside of here.. They didn't mind me before, so considering the latest changes.. I understood that the wasp saw my black swirly just as I saw its.. I've been able to see the wasps and they were now able to see me.. That wasn't what I hoped for at all..

"They didn't mind me when the flow was thin as a string.." - well wooptydoo motherfucker.. you popped the cherry of the string and fucked it all up... Before, the string-like clump was tiny, pathetic and easy to miss.. the smoke so thin and diluted that even I myself had some trouble seeing it...

"Less.. less smoke.." - Of course I needed to stop the flow, push it back inside and hold it there.. to appear smaller.. so small the wasps wouldn't be able to see it.. I've done something similar when I've been holding the smoke inside the string-like clump, so the general idea was in my head. Execution was, however a different thing.. If holding smoke was as easy as holding a cough in.. THIS was like gulping a whole gallon of gasoline and trying to hold it in.. without throwing up..

The ink shrank within my body, the smoke became a bit lighter.. diluting from the blackish into pale, nearly transparent gray. My fingers that were tightly gripping on the stone wall, as I tried to push myself against it - became weak.. Less smoke meant less control.. you get the idea.. My hands slipped as I didn't readjust my efforts accordingly to the changed weight of the body, at least that's what it felt like... my body becoming tenfold heavy.. Falling right into the wall opposite of me, face-first.. a slight crack resonated in my skull.. The nose started bleeding - though I didn't feel it break...

...

The wasp stopped, I didn't dare to move.. only the sound of its antennae brushing on the inside of the crack were getting to me.. I've felt blood slowly dripping over my mustache and the lips. The wasp seemed unsure as to what just happened, I was unsure that it would buy the act of me disappearing.. thus all of us remained still..

Five minutes passed, and the buzzing of the wings in the distance was like a roaring applause of success for me.. I was ignored.. Something made me uncomfortable as all hell... the nose was itching from the inside like someone was putting ground pepper spoon-fulls at a time into it..

"..." - There are a few things that are hard to ignore, an itching nose is one of the worst.. My hand was moving so slow towards the nose, that it looked like a tortoise leisurely walking towards the sunset.. and the sunset was my nose... At this rate.. it would take me at least an hour to scratch it...

I was lucky though.. I didn't want to find out what the wasp was capable of.

...

"AWWW YISSS..." - an hour passed, my trembling arm was finally scratching the nose. Yes, it took an hour to simply raise an arm and scratch the motherfucker.. But over the time of agonizing itching, sure over-dramatization, nevertheless, I'd been thinking over the fact that my nose healed just a bit too rapidly. The sudden healing was the source of the itch.. The only change I could come up with - was the fact that the smoke spreading out from the now string-like core.. well.. it could be barely called smoke.. it was more like the shadow of the hot air flowing up from a lit candle.. more like ripples in the air, rather than smoke.. so the more diluted my mana was - more healing seemed to be done...

Of course I've thought that it was strange.. as before, I didn't seem to have the smoke inside of me.. but that was just a stupid thought. This very fact proved otherwise - for one, I've been only able to See the swirlies when the fight with the toaders was going on.. but.. it didn't mean I didn't already have it inside of me. Ultimately, so far - all of the creatures I've been able to look at, had it. Well.. This wasn't really surprising, if mana was a natural thing, then - all of the creatures should have it, no?

"I can't move far right now" -I thought, slowly pushing myself away from the wall my face was resting at. I pushed just a speck more of the smoke, just to move a bit faster.

"The buzzers are still working in the cave.." - I could hear their feet scratch the stone floors, I could tell this sound apart from a thousand others.. with my eyes shut and eardrums pierced.. Slight chill spread over my body whenever I heard it.. I did have reasons to dislike it...

"I should at least get some rest.." - In truth I was eager to return to the dream, just to see how it changed.. I did ruin a huge part of it, which was the star.. As I closed my eyes, I thought about going to the dream..and felt myself falling towards the umbilical cord..I was going to open my eyes, but curiosity took me over and I allowed it to happen.. only to find myself inside of the dream again. Somehow I've made going into that place a habit..

...

The ground was covered in the black water right up to my shin. The sky was gray as ever, and I was the only thing that stood out.

I raised my palm up and my eyes stared into the mark on it. It was there, the same mark as in reality, circle with multitude of lines making an intricate pattern. Considering everything that happened so far, I've felt a bit confident.. well- cocky really. The whole black tentacle thing was mine to take from the beginning and I was just afraid of the new feeling to let it grow on me. Only thing I had to do - was ask, then take it.. Who would've thought that you can get answers by asking questions?

"Just what the fuck are you?" - I tried to sound confident as my voice rang out into the emptiness. Low rumbling sound signified me being right, a question would be somewhat answered if asked correctly.. Though I really would rather see a manual, or at least a written explanation.. Not a two stories high cube that had risen out of the ground.. the black water slowly dripped off of it, revealing the smooth surface.. smooth everywhere but one spot.. leveled with the mark on my hand, the cube had the same mark, though it had a more mechanical feel to it, the segments looked movable, some lines went deeper, some protruded.. The dark-silvery disc remained still, unmoving.. I was a bit disappointed that it didn't go spinning and revealing something that was hidden inside.

"So is that a keyhole?" - It really looked like one to me. I stepped closer to it and pushed on the metal.. Needless to say - it didn't budge in the slightest.. feeling cold to the touch.

I looked around myself and wished for the water to flow.. it did, swirling into a general direction I thought of.. so.. I could try to do something more daring..

"Should I really be trying to push my mana into the lock?" - I felt my heart-rate elevate even within the dream.. My murky eyes looked at the lock, anticipation and uncertainty radiating from my expression.

...

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