New Quest: Milgram’s Migraine Milgram’s Migraine The Mad Scientist has set his obsessive gaze upon you, having already decided upon a number of fiendish experiments or transformations for his newest specimen. Most of his victims lay in acid-filled barrels or in shallow graves, but no such fate awaits you. Defeat the Mad Scientist or become his forty-first victim! Rewards: Level Up, +10 SP, Lair Coins, ???, ???, ???

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Robin flew from the room, throwing himself onto the floor and covering his neck with his hands.

Nothing happened for a moment, and Robin began to feel foolish. He peeked out around him, looking back towards the door. Maybe the thing wouldn’t have worked, even without Delay Reaction?

vworp

A manhole-sized section of the wall behind him turned into orange motes, swirling wildly into the air. A second bolt of orange energy ripped out of the hole, impacting the wall on the other side of the hallway. The bolt disintegrated a chunk of the wall, and a little bit of dark brown dirt spilled into the hallway. A third flash lit up the hallway from the room with a tiny vworp, and then Robin heard a high-pitched keening.

The keening cut out quickly, and then… Nothing. After a moment he stood up and walked back to the room, his footsteps falling like death knells, judgement in every pace.

You. Just. Killed. Someone. He was trying to kill me. So what?

The body had thankfully vanished like the bodies of the spiders he had directly killed. He had been worried that it would remain, like the bodies in the elevator, or like boss bodies sometimes did in games. Now that he was checking the drops, he should double check his menu to make sure he got the SP the quest had promised. Sure enough, it was in his menu bar, 12 SP. Ten from the quest and two for leveling up. He closed his menu.

The device that the Mad Scientist had tried to use looked as if most of it had spontaneously melted and then rehardened on the floor. The end of the rod was gone, and had a small hole beneath it, as if part of the ground had simply been deleted. No salvage there.

There was a small pile of objects and a folded white cloth where the corpse of the Mad Scientist had fallen. Robin stared at them for a moment before looking up at Opal. She was hanging on the ceiling, dancing slowly. Her thorax was especially full. Robin didn’t want to think too hard about it. He was reasonably certain that the Laboratory Assistants were not human, but...

Robin looked back at the pile of objects, moving over to squat beside them. There was a folded white lab coat. Beside it was a small pile of the same kind of Lair Coins he had gotten from slaying the spiders. Looks like there might be forty or fifty there.

Robin slowly picked them up and added them to his satchel, looking at the lab coat while he did it, slowly counting. Fifty-four. Not bad. He looked back and saw that he had missed one, the face of the Mad Scientist, Mister Lye, leered up at him. Robin grimaced and threw it hard into his satchel. Alright then. One last laugh from beyond the grave from the murderer. Good for you. I’m glad you’re dead.

Robin felt a wave of guilt wash over him. That’s not true. I’m sorry that you were a murderer. If you had tried, you definitely could have found willing specimens. Just put an advertisement on Craigslist! People would pay you for the chance!

He realized his guilt had turned to anger. This wasn’t his fault, or even truly avoidable; he was internalizing that. Putting people in acid barrels and shallow graves… What a monster.

A light went on for Robin.

Shallow graves and acid barrels?

He stared at the melted device, then looked slowly at the desk covered in papers and small components.

Was that from before…

Was he already a murderer when the Ysari System happened?

Robin shuddered to himself and returned his attention to the things on the ground in front of him. He reached out for the ceramic bottle, willing Identify to activate.

Potions usually aren’t cursed, or you at least usually have to drink them to get the curse, right?

Lesser Draught of Intelligence Concocted by a Mad Scientist, the Lesser Draught of INT was distilled from the already-potent venom secreted by Assassin Bugs and mixed with variants of chemicals that not even the Mad Scientist who created it could reproduce. Upon consumption, the Draught increases the drinker’s INT score by two.

There’s no downside to this one? Might as well drink it now. Robin picked up the draught and uncorked it. The acrid smell flooded out and Robin brightened.

Is it weird that it smells like lemonade? Did he flavor it?

Robin drank the draught down, only half-trying to taste it.

...It didn’t taste great. He could taste a little bit of what tasted like lemonade powder at the bottom. It was a decent cover for what was apparently venom and random chemicals, but…

Robin stared at the ceiling and breathed. Will it still work if I throw up? He panted slowly, letting the taste fade. He pulled up his menu and saw his INT had increased by two. Woo! If I throw up now it’s okay!

Robin kept breathing for a moment. Shouldn’t have thought about… ugh… SHINE SHINE SHINE…

When he recovered from his nausea, Robin reached down and plucked the small satchel from the ground. I saved you for last, mystery sack. You better be worth it.

It was a small red satchel made out of a thin leather. Robin couldn’t tell whether the leather was naturally red or not. He focused on Identify and was pleasantly surprised when a small notification came up.

Coinpurse of the Lazy Researcher The Coinpurse of the Lazy Researcher was created by a lazy scientist to automatically gather materials. The experiment failed, however, and the item was discarded as useless garbage. The main function of the item is to collect Lair or System Coins for the bearer. It does so automatically for any Coins earned by the bearer. The satchel must be worn openly for the effect to trigger. The Coinpurse holds a maximum of three thousand (3,000) Coins. The Coinpurse can only contain Coins.

Robin’s eyes widened. That could potentially dramatically increase the Coins he collected! He didn’t even mind the name. This would increase his treasure intake!

Maybe. If Coins were useful treasure.

I don’t even know what they do. I shouldn’t get excited. They might not do something neat at all. They might be a ‘white elephant’ sort of reward… but the Ysari System hasn’t done anything like that so far. It’s been pretty straight-forward. I even got that weird opening-scene...vision...thing.

Robin was very excited. He opened the satchel, and upon seeing coins, excitedly dumped it into his hand. He was quickly overwhelmed by the volume of coins coming out. He sat down, pouring them into his lap. They quickly overwhelmed his lap and reach of his arms, and he was forced to scramble backwards on his butt.

They kept coming for what felt like an eternity. Wow… about three straight seconds? Granted, the hole of the Coinpurse is pretty small… When the last coin finally tumbled out, Robin had a mound the size of two cuddling Golden Retrievers splayed out across the lab. He felt light-headed looking at it all. Another light lit for Robin.

...Crap. Do I have to pick all this back up?

He focused on the Coinpurse and willed it to activate. Hoover Mode!

The coins on the floor vanished as one mass, leaving behind glowing red wire-frame images that quickly vanished, collapsing into themselves like a spark burning a fuse. A notification appeared. Robin checked it, grinning wildly. It appeared that it had been holding the maximum amount of three thousand coins.

The Coinpurse of the Lazy Researcher has collected x3000 Lair Coins. x3000 Laboratory of the Mad Scientist Lair Coins

Robin turned the bag around and saw that it had a leather strap on the back, clearly intended for a belt. He unwrapped his belt several times and stuck it through the Coinpurse, re-wrapping his belt. The coinpurse sat on his hip.

Feels a bit dorky, if I’m being honest with myself, but the benefits are worth it. I would still wear it if it had been a fanny pack.

He turned his attention to the lab coat and was pleased when a notification popped up right away.

Lab Coat of the Exiled Genius The Lab Coat of the Exiled Genius is a garment worn by a scientist of the highest degree, albeit one not accepted by the moral standards of his peers. While worn, the Lab Coat of the Prepared Scientist grants +2 PHYSDEF, as well as access to the Alchemy skill. The Lab Coat may self-repair and self-clean with the infusion of MANA from the wearer. The amount of MANA required scales with the damage or soiling received.

Okay, that’s not bad at all. Robin immediately discarded the rags of his old lab coat onto the floor and donned the new one. It fit perfectly, even over his Lesser Armor of the Beetle.

Robin had a new notification pop up as he donned the Lab Coat of the Exiled Genius. He read it over, some part of his brain hidden away panicking even as he considered his options.

The Dungeon will reset in 12 hours!

Robin stood up, controlling his thoughts, and stepped towards the cluttered desk, slipping his Satchel off his back.

He had looting to do.